Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 Today is National Coming Out Day in the US! It’s a day to commemorate by Outing yourself to someone – even (especially?) if it’s only to yourself! We have more power when we are more visible!
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 I screamed it to the world 26 years ago. My closet is dark and empty. 1 3
Popular Post Hunter Thomson Posted October 11, 2017 Popular Post Posted October 11, 2017 It’s been a little less than 15 years since my parents forced my closet door open. Good times, bad times, unforgettably hilarious times... I’d have missed them all if I hadn’t learned to embrace myself. I only wish I had done so earlier. 2 4
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, Hunter Thomson said: It’s been a little less than 15 years since my parents forced my closet door open. Good times, bad times, unforgettably hilarious times... I’d have missed them all if I hadn’t learned to embrace myself. I only wish I had done so earlier. Were you even a teenager yet? How much younger could you have been? (I only realized I might be Gay when I was 13, but that was back in the Jurassic Period of LGBTQ history!) I write that, then I realize I’ve watched documentaries about Trans kids in elementary school (yes, I know that’s not the same, but there are parallels).
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 12 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said: I screamed it to the world 26 years ago. My closet is dark and empty. We LGBTQ people are continually Coming Out to new people that we meet. Sometimes it’s verbal, sometimes there are other clues – I found out my postal carrier is a Lesbian because she was wearing rainbow-striped socks! I’m wearing my NCOD t-shirt today – it’s ancient and even has the original NCOD date printed on it: October 11, 1989! Some of you weren’t even born yet! ;-)
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, droughtquake said: Were you even a teenager yet? How much younger could you have been? (I only realized I might be Gay when I was 13, but that was back in the Jurassic Period of LGBTQ history!) I write that, then I realize I’ve watched documentaries about Trans kids in elementary school (yes, I know that’s not the same, but there are parallels). I didn’t know until teens. However; I can now identify crush on boy as early as 8. 2 1
Dodger Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 26 minutes ago, droughtquake said: Today is National Coming Out Day in the US! It’s a day to commemorate by Outing yourself to someone – even (especially?) if it’s only to yourself! We have more power when we are more visible! I hope that those of us outside the US are invited to join in. 21 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said: I screamed it to the world 26 years ago. My closet is dark and empty. What a wonderful statement JP. My closet is empty too. 17 minutes ago, Hunter Thomson said: It’s been a little less than 15 years since my parents forced my closet door open. Good times, bad times, unforgettably hilarious times... I’d have missed them all if I hadn’t learned to embrace myself. I only wish I had done so earlier. Yeah, I think that you were young enough. I was a teenager too and although it wasn't my choice at the time to come out, I've never regretted it and would never have wanted it to be any different. I'm happy and comfortable with who I am. 2 2
Popular Post JackBinimbul Posted October 11, 2017 Popular Post Posted October 11, 2017 (edited) Ya know...I know it's supposed to be about visibility and all, but I have such strong objections to NCO. I have watched people peer-pressured in to coming out to friends and/or family when they aren't ready or are at risk for doing so. I've watched people berate, ridicule and even out "friends" who have refused to participate. I've watched anti-LGBT groups trolling NCO hashtags for fresh, vulnerable victims. The most at risk are minors who may not take into account the nuance, intricacies and far-reaching impact of jumping on the bandwagon. While I fully support someone's choice to come out and applaud any effort for solidarity, NCO has just become a shit-show and needs some serious rebranding. Here is an article about some of the problems, for those interested. Edited October 11, 2017 by JackBinimbul 8
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, Dodger said: I hope that those of us outside the US are invited to join in. What a wonderful statement JP. My closet is empty too. Yeah, I think that you were young enough. I was a teenager too and although it wasn't my choice at the time to come out, I've never regretted it and would never have wanted it to be any different. I'm happy and comfortable with who I am. No matter by choice or not... Most probably dreaded the actual moment. Then realization of liberation and self-acceptance. Free to love yourself and someone else. 3
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 I don’t advocate that NCOD be mandatory especially for the more vulnerable (those dependent on others, those who live in dangerous countries, those who could be prosecuted or killed, etc). That’s why I mentioned Coming Out to yourself. Be smart, stay safe.
Dodger Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 13 minutes ago, JackBinimbul said: Ya know...I know it's supposed to be about visibility and all, but I have such strong objections to NCO. I have watched people peer-pressured in to coming out to friends and/or family when they aren't ready or are at risk for doing so. I've watched people berate, ridicule and even out "friends" who have refused to participate. I've watched anti-LGBT groups trolling NCO hashtags for fresh, vulnerable victims. The most at risk are minors who may not take into account the nuance, intricacies and far-reaching impact of jumping on the bandwagon. While I fully support someone's choice to come out and applaud any effort for solidarity, NCO has just become a shit-show and needs some serious rebranding. Here is an article about some of the problems, for those interested. A good point and a very good article. I can only speak for myself and people who I know. I am fortunate to live in a fairly liberal-minded society but I am aware there are still serious issues to be addressed and I certainly wouldn't encourage everyone to out themselves, especially if they are young or vulnerable. Like many, I didn't choose to come out but I was lucky to have people around me who supported and encouraged me. My experience was fairly tame but still scary enough for a 15-year-old. It should always be a personal choice and each case is different. I would never advise anyone to come out unless I knew them well enough to be sure that they weren't putting themselves at risk by doing so. 2
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 (edited) 44 minutes ago, Dodger said: I hope that those of us outside the US are invited to join in. The whole point of NCOD is to be more visible! Of course you’re invited! It’s just that it was started by the US-based Human Rights Campaign… ;-) This logo was designed by Keith Haring! This one clearly wasn’t! (Keith didn’t do this one either.) Edited October 11, 2017 by Former Member
Hunter Thomson Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 2 hours ago, droughtquake said: Were you even a teenager yet? How much younger could you have been? (I only realized I might be Gay when I was 13, but that was back in the Jurassic Period of LGBTQ history!) I write that, then I realize I’ve watched documentaries about Trans kids in elementary school (yes, I know that’s not the same, but there are parallels). Lol no I was 12. Still act 12 sometimes too 😛 2 hours ago, Dodger said: I hope that those of us outside the US are invited to join in. What a wonderful statement JP. My closet is empty too. Yeah, I think that you were young enough. I was a teenager too and although it wasn't my choice at the time to come out, I've never regretted it and would never have wanted it to be any different. I'm happy and comfortable with who I am. I got caught sexting. Enough said. Zero regrets now though. 4 1
Sam Wyer Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 I know it's very well intentioned - but this makes me feel uneasy. Every time someone 'comes out' it also feels (to me) as though attention is just as drawn to the 'in' thus perpetuating the heteronormative view, and I'd much rather that everyone could just 'be'. Greater visibility is most likely a very positive thing, and whilst I'm sure that it does happen, I'm equally sure that NCOD wasn't conceived with the intention of pushing people into making a decision the weren't ready for. But still, it makes me feel unsettled. Sorry, this is now just mildly ranty and I'm not sure what I want to say any more. The Keith Haring logo is very cool too. 4
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Hunter Thomson said: Lol no I was 12. Still act 12 sometimes too 😛 I got caught sexting. Enough said. Zero regrets now though. No shame in that. 2 1
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, Sam Wyer said: I know it's very well intentioned - but this makes me feel uneasy. Every time someone 'comes out' it also feels (to me) as though attention is just as drawn to the 'in' thus perpetuating the heteronormative view, and I'd much rather that everyone could just 'be'. Greater visibility is most likely a very positive thing, and whilst I'm sure that it does happen, I'm equally sure that NCOD wasn't conceived with the intention of pushing people into making a decision the weren't ready for. But still, it makes me feel unsettled. Sorry, this is now just mildly ranty and I'm not sure what I want to say any more. The Keith Haring logo is very cool too. For me... Coming out should ALWAYS be the decision of one coming out. It should never be a statement, just acceptance and loving yourself. 5
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 I don’t think I’m particularly obvious. I’m not flamboyant and my speech isn’t affected (not that I believe there’s anything wrong with anyone who fits that description), but I don’t like sports and I’m not obsessed with huge breasts (or chests, for that matter). But I’ve Come Out to several people who have told me they’d already figured it out. ;-) But being Out is much more comfortable for me. No one is trying to set me up with their single female friend. I’m not expected to laugh at their sexist ‘jokes.’ I don’t have to pretend.
Hunter Thomson Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 I always enjoyed the fact that coming out actually did shock most of the people I've told. Sure, there were always the jokes and gossip that I was gay that I fought back against before I accepted myself, but when I told those same people that I was gay it threw them for quite the loop. There's something very satisfying about being called a gay slur, acknowledging it as true and breaking that person's brain because they thought they were just being a tease and now they realize they used a slur against someone they cared about in a way that could actually be construed as hurtful. Life gets better. It gets better to get older and to come out and escape the stress of it all. I won't trade those memories for anything, except a chance to repeat those memories, because some of those coming out moments were glorious. 2 2
Hunter Thomson Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 49 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said: No shame in that. If only you'd seen the things I'd written and he'd written. You'd be embarrassed for us both, but only because of how bad our writing was. Worst quality sexting ever. 1 3
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 @Hunter Thomson it sounds like you’re in a better place than when you first moved a few weeks ago! ;-)
Former Member Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 1 minute ago, Hunter Thomson said: If only you'd seen the things I'd written and he'd written. You'd be embarrassed for us both, but only because of how bad our writing was. Worst quality sexting ever. I’m sure you were distracted… ;-)
Hunter Thomson Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 Just now, droughtquake said: I’m sure you were distracted… ;-) I'm not even going to pretend to deny this. 1 minute ago, droughtquake said: @Hunter Thomson it sounds like you’re in a better place than when you first moved a few weeks ago! ;-) Yes, thank you. This was my first time moving out and living semi-independently, so there was a measure of stress involved. But I've settled into my new environment quite well, and I'm less stressed now that I've talked to my professors about how I'm doing in class so far. 2 1
FormerMember4 Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 15 minutes ago, Hunter Thomson said: If only you'd seen the things I'd written and he'd written. You'd be embarrassed for us both, but only because of how bad our writing was. Worst quality sexting ever. I'll give you a pass. Hard to hold your pecker and text at same time. 1 3
Former Member Posted October 12, 2017 Author Posted October 12, 2017 It Gets Better Project: What advice do you have for young LGBTQ people this National Coming Out Day? (link to video)
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