[LittleBuddhaTW] SOOTB 21

[LittleBuddhaTW]

Chapter 21 is posted ...

 

http://littlebuddhatw.gayauthors.org/SOOTB/SOOTB21.html

 

Many, many thanks to Kitty for once again doing a fabulous job editing!

 

I look forward to reading everyone's thoughts/comments on this chapter.

 

*Hugz*

 

Buddha

[Drewbie]

Mikey NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 

Hugz Dominic, He'll never got to ask Mikey out on a date, hmm maybe ask derek or ben?

 

Now onto Ryan I think Toby's illness and Mikey's death really hit him, Know he's basicly a zoombie.

 

 

David and Kitty Thank you

 

 

Death is too real in High schools, There where a three of deaths at Stone Bridge, second time it happend two of them died and the third person lived, for a week or a couple of days of school, being in school felt really odd.

Edited June 25, 2006 by Drew

[C James]

Wow.

 

That was poignant, heart-rending, and exceptionally well done.

 

I'll come back with more once it's been up a bit longer, but for now

I just wanted to say what a moving piece that was.

 

It's certainly left a great many things unanswered, too.

 

Great chapter, LB & Kitty.

[ex52tech]

You had me wondering LB, you left a question in my mind with your comments after Ch20, you just weren't acting like Toby was going to die, with all the feedback you were getting from CH20, the story title, and with how depressed Mikey was I was entertaining the thought that Mikey might kill himself. Just a thought in the back of my mind. Car accident,...... not what I was expecting.

 

Very well done, I'm impressed. You had all of us twisting in the wind.

 

Thanks for your work Kitty

 

Excellent job LB.

 

Ex.

[C James]

You had me wondering LB, you left a question in my mind with your comments after Ch20, you just weren't acting like Toby was going to die, with all the feedback you were getting from CH20, the story title, and with how depressed Mikey was I was entertaining the thought that Mikey might kill himself. Just a thought in the back of my mind. Car accident,...... not what I was expecting.

Very well done, I'm impressed. You had all of us twisting in the wind.

 

LB *STILL* has us twisting in the wind (in a good way)... We don't know whether Mikey's crash was an accident or suicide. The police seem to suspect suicide.

 

Also, Toby... We need to bear in mind that his condition has nothing to do with Mikey's death. What I mean by that, just like in real life, it wasn't a "one or the other" situation, and he's not safe just because another character died. However, the fact that he's home is at least a positive sign.

 

Also, I'm curious about something.. LB mentioned that some parts of this were done by Kitty. Just a hunch here, but is the quote below from Kitty's part?

 

Then I walked out the door and quickly headed toward the parking lot so I could get home and have a good, long cry. I hoped that one day soon I would be able to find the right words to say to Dominic, though. God only knew what he was feeling, and how he was reacting to all of this.

 

Excellently done, whoever wrote it, just like every other part of the chapter.

[LittleBuddhaTW]

LB *STILL* has us twisting in the wind (in a good way)... We don't know whether Mikey's crash was an accident or suicide. The police seem to suspect suicide.

 

If you go back and re-read, I believe Detective Franz said they suspect it was an accident.

 

Also, I'm curious about something.. LB mentioned that some parts of this were done by Kitty. Just a hunch here, but is the quote below from Kitty's part?

Excellently done, whoever wrote it, just like every other part of the chapter.

 

Nope, that was all me ... although Kitty added in the words "quickly" and "right" (as in "right words").

 

To satisfy your curiosity, the two parts added by Kitty were where Detective Franz put his hand on Connor's shoulder and told him to take care of Ryan (or something along those lines), and where Maggie is checking out Ryan (puts her hands on his face, calls him "sweetie," etc.). It's very hard to tell, though. Kitty did an incredibly good job at imitating my "writing voice." I have "mom" issues, so Kitty has also often had to go back and make Maggie more responsible and involved.

 

LB

Edited June 24, 2006 by LittleBuddhaTW

[Boxerdude]

LB and Kitty,

 

All I can do is say "Thank You." I do something different now than in the past when reading. When ever you put the words into the script, I go to Napster and look up the song and read the lyrics as the song is sung. I can't hear it in my head if I do not do that. One interesting point, when Connor sang his song at the funeral, I noticed one small thing as Elton John was singing. Elton John changed one word in the lyrics. I played it twice to make sure. There is a part in the song where it states "When I am gone" Elton John actually sings it "While I am gone" making sure that everyone understands that he believes that this is a temporary situation. I just thought everyone would find that fact of interest. I am sure the lyrics are published as written by LB but they are sang differently.

 

LB and Kitty, I think that you two are absolutely the best. I love the cliff hanger and could not wait for the chapter to post. I read it within five minutes of the notification. I cried through most of it as most of us will or did. My partner came in and just laughed at me. I had to tell him to F-O and leave me alone.

 

I really want to write more because there is so much to discuss and go over, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone else who has not read it yet. I just know that it touched me deeply but in the best way.

 

By the way, ever post before mine I totally agree with you and think that you are the best forum group I have ever been apart of.

 

Love to all of you,

 

Boxerdude

[C James]

If you go back and re-read, I believe Detective Franz said they suspect it was an accident.

 

I went back and looked, and the part I was remembering was this;

"We're not sure yet whether to classify his death as an accident or suicide," Detective Franz said. "That's why I wanted to talk to the two of you, since you were very close to him, and we know that he confided a lot in you recently."

 

My interpretation was that if the Police were asking those sort of questions, then they must still suspect (at that point) suicide (which would not rule out suspecting that is was an accident).

 

However, this part (below) seems to lean the other way, but does it?

"Thanks for that information, Connor," Detective Franz said. "Right now, we're leaning in the direction of calling this an unfortunate accident. He was obviously very upset when he left, and that may have caused him to drive recklessly. There was no suicide note found, and the preliminary analysis of the forensic evidence on the scene, such as tire marks, leads us to believe that it was probably just that ... an accident. Unfortunately, since there were no eyewitnesses, we may never know for sure."

 

That (above) does not rule out suspecting a suicide. In fact, in basically proclaims that they do suspect it might be a suicide as they are not sure if it was an accident (and an element of doubt is by definition a suspicion).

For example, if the police are trying to solve a crime that they know was commited by a single individual, it would not be at all unusual for them to have multiple suspects. The fact that only one of them could have done it (or, in this case, having two mutually exclusive possibilities) does not exclude having multiple suspects.

 

Generally, in a vehicle accident investigation, they look at the scene first (as indicated above). In a single-vehicle accident, they look for obvious signs such as the skid-mark patterns that would indicate a loss of control, etc. In the majority of cases, a suicide-by-impact shows no sudden loss of control (and thus no skid marks at all) except for those that are sometimes present immediately prior to impact (due to, in some cases, the driver hitting the brakes at the last second).

 

When it comes to accidents such as Mikey's, it's often darn near impossible to tell a suicide from falling asleep at the wheel and drifting off the road, as both cases generally have a very similar physical profile. However, given his emotional state (leaving after a big argument) falling asleep at the wheel would IMHO be unlikely. Driving recklessly would be easier to determine as vehicle speed is usually fairly easy to estimate due to the physical dynamics of the crash, and resulting vehicle condition.

 

My hunch was that for them to be asking questions at the hospital, they didn't find anything definitive at the accident scene such as skid marks indicating a loss of control, or swerving to avoid an animal, etc. It could still be an accident without them, but it's a major clue as the physics are fairly straightforward.

 

In a great many cases, though, the detective's words "We may never know for sure." are the operative ones, so indeed, just like in real life, we may never know (unless you choose to tell us at some point, in the story or elsewhere).

 

Heh, I just thought of something... One definition of "Zealot" is someone who would, upon meeting a Deity, proceed to tell the Deity what they Deity really meant to say. So, would my quibbling with a Buddha over the interpretations of his story make me fit that description?

 

Nope, that was all me ... although Kitty added in the words "quickly" and "right" (as in "right words").

To satisfy your curiosity, the two parts added by Kitty were where Detective Franz put his hand on Connor's shoulder and told him to take care of Ryan (or something along those lines), and where Maggie is checking out Ryan (puts her hands on his face, calls him "sweetie," etc.). It's very hard to tell, though. Kitty did an incredibly good job at imitating my "writing voice." I have "mom" issues, so Kitty has also often had to go back and make Maggie more responsible and involved.

 

You two make one heck of a great team!

Thanks for pointing out the sections, as I was very curious.

 

Thank you also for the part where the detective mentioned the ongoing search for Connor's attacker. I'd been very curious if we would hear any more about that.

[Lacon]

I read chapter 20 with dread. I kept expecting something bad to to happen to everyone. I was even worried when Connor stopped at Cody's house that night, and no one was home. (Where were they???? Did something tragic happen to Cody?) I planned to comment earlier, but wanted to wait a while to let the story sink in. Then life got in the way and Chapter 21 showed up.

 

I had all my theories set, and was blindsided again ( You got me again, LB).

I didn't pick Mikey as the victim. I thought that his parents would have him taken away by deprogrammers (as if THAT would work!!)

 

It's fascinating to watch Connor's behavior through this tragedy. it seems like he has a "save the world" fixation. This is totally logical. Since he was saved from the world, he now feels that he has to save everyone else. That being said, I felt that it was interesting that Connor couldn't reach out Dominic at the funeral. It's as if he knew that he is carrying the world on his shoulders, and can't handle one more. This is totally consistent with his feeling of pain and grief at the end of the chapter.

 

It was interesting to see Ryan's reaction. Like the rest of you I was worried for him over the last few chapters. it seemed like he went from the savior to the forgotten character. Therefore his shutdown makes perfect sense. Like Connor, he is seeing life events that he can't control. In fact the events are controlling, and paralyzing, him. It should be fascinating to see him work through this.

 

It is very likely that the police will never find the true cause if Mikey's accident. The reality is that this case would not be a top priority for the police. Whether it was a tragic accident of a suicide, there is no suspect to pursue. There are also no friends of family pushing the police for an answer Most likely the case was closed shortly after Officer Franz spoke with connor and Ryan.

 

 

LB, thank you for not leaving us with another emotional cliffhanger before your break. I look forward to the rest of this story, and want to see how everyone gets past the tragedy to put their lives back together. Until then I'll sit back and admire your ability to hook us all in. Your characters are not just words on a page, or bland characters living through absurd exciting adventures. You have created real people with real problems. That is a real tribute to your talents as a writer.

[C James]

One of the songs performed by Connor at the memorial service:

"That's What Friends are For"

 

One of the things that makes SOOTB very special to me is the songs.

 

I have to admit that when I first started reading SOOTB, I didn't pay too much attention to the lyrics. I've read a lot of stories where the songs themselves have little or no bearing on the story: they are just there. So, I made the very poor assumption that SOOTB was similar in that regard, and so I paid little attention to the lyrics.

 

I can't remember where, exactly, but somewhere in the first few chapters I actually looked very closely at the lyrics, and realized that they were highly relevant to the story. I went back and did my first re-read of the (then) couple of published chapters and paid much closer attention. I'm sure glad I did!

 

It must take a lot of work and effort to put in the level of detail that SOOTB has. I guess I'm just trying to say that it's deeply appreciated, and IMHO is one of the things that makes the story so excellent.

 

Thank you, LB & Kitty!

[Boxerdude]

One of the songs performed by Connor at the memorial service:

"That's What Friends are For"

 

 

Kitty, thanks! this was the one song that I actually could hear in my mind as it is one of my favorites. When Burt bacharach was on American Idol helping them, this was one of the songs that I believe one of them practiced but ened up not singing.

 

It gave me goosebumps, when Connor sang it and then for Cody to again come to his aid as to say "Ditto" to the song as at the memorial service. That song sums it up for what Connor is all about. Thank you for publishing the lyrics.

 

Without trying to sound to mushy, I would like to say that I dedicate this song to all of you on the forum as well. This may be fiction, but it creates real emotions. After communicating with all of you for awhile now, I feel a bit of closeness to each of you.

 

Boxerdude

[LittleBuddhaTW]

I'm only about 1/3 of the way finished with Chapter 22 ... it's hard to get the inspiration to write when only the few same posters chime in with their thoughts. So, don't be shy ... jump on in and get your feet wet, share your thoughts/comments with the rest of us, and give me some inspiration to sit down and type out the rest of this story! I know you guys can do it ... just click that little button on the screen that says "Add Reply," type a few words, then click on "Submit" ... See, it's that simple!

 

C'mon guys, you can do it ... if this is all the reaction I get to something like Chapter 21, then something's terribly wrong!

 

*Buddha gently nudges readers*

[Camy]

I'm only about 1/3 of the way finished with Chapter 22 ... it's hard to get the inspiration to write when only the few same posters chime in with their thoughts. So, don't be shy ... jump on in and get your feet wet, share your thoughts/comments with the rest of us, and give me some inspiration to sit down and type out the rest of this story! I know you guys can do it ... just click that little button on the screen that says "Add Reply," type a few words, then click on "Submit" ... See, it's that simple!

 

C'mon guys, you can do it ... if this is all the reaction I get to something like Chapter 21, then something's terribly wrong!

 

*Buddha gently nudges readers*

Forgive me if I'm being stupid, but I thought you Author (wonderful purveyor of all things Connor) and me Reader (lapping it up).

 

Like the nudge btw

 

Camy

PS - MORE!.. lots lots more ... soon as you like really

[kalkay]

Sweet, sweet Connor. He has so much compassion and has to take the burden of the whole world on his shoulders and he doesn't really know how to deal with it. And as usual he has difficulties sharing his emotions although he is doing better.

Great chapter

Pascal

[Boxerdude]

I'm only about 1/3 of the way finished with Chapter 22 ... it's hard to get the inspiration to write when only the few same posters chime in with their thoughts. So, don't be shy ... jump on in and get your feet wet, share your thoughts/comments with the rest of us, and give me some inspiration to sit down and type out the rest of this story! I know you guys can do it ... just click that little button on the screen that says "Add Reply," type a few words, then click on "Submit" ... See, it's that simple!

 

C'mon guys, you can do it ... if this is all the reaction I get to something like Chapter 21, then something's terribly wrong!

 

*Buddha gently nudges readers*

 

 

Okay, I have been holding back, but if we need to nudge you then I will see If I can get these people to open up a bit.

 

Connor, first and formost, Cody's mother was right. He has the inner strength that none of the others possess and he will help lead them through this horrible issue. He is the "Rock" that his frineds depend on. He is human like the rest of us and will have the emotional issues as well. But, he knows he has a lot of people depending on him. He feels it is is responsibility to give back what they all gave to him. Because of his past pain, it will and has made him the strongest character in the whole story. Ryan's reaction was no surprise to me. It was interesting that Maggie, turned to Connor for help. Connor's view of Ryan being very needy of him is a good sign. Connor will keep focus on Ryan because he loves him more that life it's self. Ryan will work through it but he will have to face his own "Demonds" to get there. Now what those demonds are, is where LB will come in. I have my own idea but LB will rise to the occassion. Toby, he will come throught I think, it will be hard but he will. With Ryan now at his side, he will have more to live for.

 

I do want to see the MF caught that did rape Connor and I hope LB does justice to that!!! It is still something that sticks in the back of my head and is very personal since I was raped at the age of 8 by a man and he was never caught. My fault, I was 8 , buried it for over 30 years before my therapists helped me remember it. Connor needs closure on that .

 

Maggie, she needs a break. She has so much and for her to lean on Connor was really hard on her. She needs Toby to get better. She is a great person.

 

I would really like to see Cody and his mother step up a bit more. They have slowly been doing so and Connor will need them both as will Ryan I think and Toby.

 

Mikey's partents, I think Connor said it all. They can rot in hell! To little to late! I hope that we find out in the near future what happens with them. They have a lot of responsibility to those kid's that they hurt because of how they treated their son. His death sound be a reason for them to stop, think, reason, or get the hell out of town.

 

I also think it is time for the Twins to step up. They have been haning in the wings and they need to come round and be there for Connor and Ryan as well. Everyone can't expect Connor to deal with all this and them on his own. They need to come together as friends and rebuild what they have.

 

Speaking of that, personally, if I could name the next chapter I would call it "Rebuilding Lives."

 

Okay, all it is your turn. Agree, disagree let's get this ball rolling!!!!!

 

LB, I hope that was a good start.

 

Boxerdude

[Lacon]

The character who has been understandably silent is Toby. Now that he is improving I'd like to see more of him dealing with Mikey's death, Ryan's coldness and shutdown, and Connor's affection. The resolution of the multiple issues with Cody should make for interesting reading.

 

LB, all these comments are a tribute to your great writing and character development. You have us hooked and wanting more.

 

Hurry back buddy.

Edited June 26, 2006 by Lacon

[NickolasJames8]

Ok, so I've been thinking a lot about this chapter, and I think Im ready to comment......

 

 

I'm glad it wasn't Toby who died, but I think we should be prepared for anything, and he's still sick, and it might still happen. Of course, at any time, any of the characters could die (except for Connor because he's obviously the one telling the story). But I was actually dissapointed that it was Mikey, and not because he was one of my favorite characters. I was kinda dissapointed because I thought that maybe more could have been done with his story. Maybe LB could've given Mikey his own story about his struggle with his rents. But oh well. I still thought this chapter was great.

One of the things I noticed was what someone else had said about Connor being so strong and trying to be there for everyone. I think it's great because he probably always had that trait, like how he used to make sure he paid the bills somehow when he lived with the maniac (his "mother") and made sure that the important things were done. It was his way of being there for his "mother" and trying to make things okay for her and himself.

I think Ryan's definitely dealing with the guilt of not being there for Mikey. His best friend was suffering, and all he could do was shrug and say things were going to work out. I'm sure he wishes he could go back and change the fact that he wasn't there for him, and I bet he wishes he could go back and be there for Toby too. I think that he knows now that Connor was right when they had that bad fight.

As far as the songs and stuff go, I have to confess that I don't really pay a lot of attention to them. I think that the story's great by itself, and there's a bunch of the songs I've never even heard of (about 75%), but I plan to download them and listen anyway while I read the story again.

So anyway, here's my predictions for the next chapter.......

 

1) Ryan get's worse, then he has a total nervous breakdown.

 

2) Connor is there for him, and he's still there for Toby and everyone else too, and the stress of it all starts to get to him too

 

3) Tatyanna slaps Connor again

 

4) Cody and Dominic hook up

 

5) Maggie takes time off work to be there for Toby and Ryan

 

6) Connor has his own nervous breakdown at some point (maybe not in the next chapter, but soon)

 

 

 

 

BTW, is the guy who wrote that one somg the same Burt Bacharack from Austin Powers?????

[LittleBuddhaTW]

Speaking of that, personally, if I could name the next chapter I would call it "Rebuilding Lives."

 

Unfortunately, that's not the title of an Elton John song ... but I can safely say, I think, that the title of Chapter 22 is definitely a doozy!

 

LB

[Gandalf]

OK You asked for a nudge and hug.. are you turning into a Ryan? What a great chapter. I really like how you resolved what was happening to Ryan(well liked is probably not quite the right word). It certainly fits what was going on with him over the last few weeks. Thanks for moving it into a place where we can all as well as you I hope break while you go thru your personal transition back to "the world" of the US.

 

I am finally moving my boat from Sevilla but have decided to take a break after 2 years of living mainly alone on the boat. I am putting it up tomorrow and will seal it up over the next week. On the 4th I will fly into Boston about the time fireworks will be going off and Stay with my family or my partner until I fly back here to Spain next February. Hopefully rejuvenated for sailing around Europe. But it will be good to be back to friends and family and not inconsequentialy on an easier time zone to participate on this web site. Pax all Steve S/VGandalf Sevilla.

[hocuspocus46]

OH MY GOD!!! im like bawling my eyes out right now.... just have to say, amazing writing.... i think everyone can somewhat relate to the characters, and Mikey was like the story version of me... being 16 and trying to come out to intolerant parents, and all that... so when he died it really affected me. if toby dies, that will just be my last straw, and ill resort to only reading the newspaper!!

 

I'M SO SAD!!!

 

but like i said, amazing writing!! KEEP ON KEEPING ON, I HAAAAAVE TO KEEP READING THESE STORIES!!

[LittleBuddhaTW]

OH MY GOD!!! im like bawling my eyes out right now.... just have to say, amazing writing.... i think everyone can somewhat relate to the characters, and Mikey was like the story version of me... being 16 and trying to come out to intolerant parents, and all that... so when he died it really affected me. if toby dies, that will just be my last straw, and ill resort to only reading the newspaper!!

 

I'M SO SAD!!!

 

but like i said, amazing writing!! KEEP ON KEEPING ON, I HAAAAAVE TO KEEP READING THESE STORIES!!

 

I'm really sorry you're having a tough time coming out to your parents, bud. But you've found a safe, fun community here with lots of people to talk to, vent to, and other guys your age who are going through the exact same thing. So, anyway, welcome aboard, and I'm really happy you're enjoying the story!

 

*Hugz*

 

Buddha

[Gearoid]

OH MY GOD!!! im like bawling my eyes out right now.... just have to say, amazing writing.... i think everyone can somewhat relate to the characters, and Mikey was like the story version of me... being 16 and trying to come out to intolerant parents, and all that... so when he died it really affected me. if toby dies, that will just be my last straw, and ill resort to only reading the newspaper!!

 

I'M SO SAD!!!

 

but like i said, amazing writing!! KEEP ON KEEPING ON, I HAAAAAVE TO KEEP READING THESE STORIES!!

 

Well I'm feeling sad too. But it is a good kind of sadness for this was such a cathartic piece. I am really loving this story though it does take us through the roller coaster of emotions. What struck me most about this chapter is that it is really about all the dimensions of love and the hurt that rejection can cause. There was such wisdom here. The best I have read about love remains Corinthians 1: 13 especially

 

'But now faith, hope, and love remain-these three. The greatest of these is love'.

 

That could well stand for a comment on this story.

 

As for the funeral of Mikey itself it took be back to a funeral I attended a few years ago of a young man who died of an overdose. There were oldies at the service, the devastated family and the young man's close friends who wept unconsolably as they carried the coffin. What struck me most that day was that we oldies had nothing to say that could comfort the young. A pastor spoke but it was not that what he said was inappropriate so much as irrelevant.

 

So the fictional service in this story struck me very forcibly with the depth of its humanity and its beauty.

 

What I especially like about the writers at Gay authors is that as Time Out said about Stephen Coote's Anthology of Homosexual Verse -their work makes 'an irrefutable staement of the humanity of the homosexual'.

 

And Out of the Blue is right up there with the best of them

 

regards

 

Gearoid

[AFriendlyFace]

This was indeed a very powerful, emotional chapter!

 

I didn't see the Mikey car accident thing happening, I did suspect that the call could have been about him, but I was thinking suicide (outright) or more likely a beating from his parents. It was a very sad chapter and I cried for a good bit of it too. However, I think it certainly fits really well for the progression of the story.

 

It seemed like Ryan needed I kind of "wake up call" to snap out of his denial/detachment. I pretty much did need to be a horrible event happening to Toby or Mikey to really powerfully effect this change. Ryan was primarily distent and "absent" towards Toby during his sickness and Mikey with the thing with his parents. So it rather makes sense that it would require one of them's death (or some other really bad happening to them) to snap him out of it. Mikey also works better because his death is more of a "surprise" than Toby's would have been.

 

Toby, he will come throught I think, it will be hard but he will. With Ryan now at his side, he will have more to live for.

This is what I'm thinking too. I also definitely agree that Ryan's love and support will be crucial in his recovery, but I also think Ryan will play a role in a different way. Toby can see how deeply Ryan is hurting and how horribly he's taken Mikey's passing. I think seeing this (and to a somewhat lesser extent the affect this has had on everyone else) will give Toby a major incentive to fight hard and recover, in order to spare Ryan (et all) more pain.

 

I do want to see the MF caught that did rape Connor and I hope LB does justice to that!!! It is still something that sticks in the back of my head and is very personal since I was raped at the age of 8 by a man and he was never caught. My fault, I was 8 , buried it for over 30 years before my therapists helped me remember it.

I'm so sorry

 

Mikey's partents, I think Connor said it all. They can rot in hell! To little to late! I hope that we find out in the near future what happens with them. They have a lot of responsibility to those kid's that they hurt because of how they treated their son. His death sound be a reason for them to stop, think, reason, or get the hell out of town.

I'm pretty torn with regards to Mikey's parents. On the one hand I agreed with Connor's original assertion that it was Mikey's parents' fault. I do still believe this. However, on the other hand I still have this compulsion to forgive them, though I don't think I'd be able to at this point if I were actually in the story. I still can't help but think they have to be forgiven. Thus, I really don't like them and I'm mad at them, but at the same time I'm trying to get over it (especially since they're sorry - though I completely agree that that's too little too late)

 

One of the things I noticed was what someone else had said about Connor being so strong and trying to be there for everyone. I think it's great because he probably always had that trait, like how he used to make sure he paid the bills somehow when he lived with the maniac (his "mother") and made sure that the important things were done. It was his way of being there for his "mother" and trying to make things okay for her and himself.

Excellent observation, Nick!! I hadn't really realized that before, I think you're definitely right!

 

I think Ryan's definitely dealing with the guilt of not being there for Mikey. His best friend was suffering, and all he could do was shrug and say things were going to work out. I'm sure he wishes he could go back and change the fact that he wasn't there for him, and I bet he wishes he could go back and be there for Toby too. I think that he knows now that Connor was right when they had that bad fight.

Yep, I think you're right

 

As far as the songs and stuff go, I have to confess that I don't really pay a lot of attention to them. I think that the story's great by itself, and there's a bunch of the songs I've never even heard of (about 75%), but I plan to download them and listen anyway while I read the story again.

LOL well as I've often said I can't listen to music while I read or write, but I've downloaded quite a few of the songs I'd never heard of (and several of the ones I'd "forgotten") and it's been really great listening to them. While we're on the subject of songs I have to say that personally I found "Sand and Water." really moving, and defintely cried quite a bit more while reading it's lyrics. While the last four lines of "One More Arrow" struck me as really powerful, I couldn't really connect with the rest of the song. Of course I haven't actually listened to it only read the lyrics just then.

 

And yup, Nick, that's the same Burt Bacharack

 

Also on the subject of songs, I think everyone's failing to point out something REALLY significant:

 

After that, I vowed never to perform on stage again.

What!? I totally didn't see that coming, and can only vaguely understand why Connor would make such a decision. Performing has always seemed like his therapy and I should think now more than ever he'd need it. I'll be interested to see what comes about with this!

 

I am finally moving my boat from Sevilla but have decided to take a break after 2 years of living mainly alone on the boat. I am putting it up tomorrow and will seal it up over the next week. On the 4th I will fly into Boston about the time fireworks will be going off and Stay with my family or my partner until I fly back here to Spain next February. Hopefully rejuvenated for sailing around Europe. But it will be good to be back to friends and family and not inconsequentialy on an easier time zone to participate on this web site. Pax all Steve S/VGandalf Sevilla.

WOW! Good Luck, Steve! I bet that'll be a huge adjustment for you, I'm sure you'll enjoy your decision though and I wish you the best of luck!

 

Without trying to sound to mushy, I would like to say that I dedicate this song to all of you on the forum as well. This may be fiction, but it creates real emotions. After communicating with all of you for awhile now, I feel a bit of closeness to each of you.

aww

 

OH MY GOD!!! im like bawling my eyes out right now.... just have to say, amazing writing.... i think everyone can somewhat relate to the characters, and Mikey was like the story version of me... being 16 and trying to come out to intolerant parents, and all that... so when he died it really affected me.

I'm so sorry it's been rough on you, Hocus . I'm really glad you found this community though, please do let others be here for you if you need them. I recommend the live chat and the blogs as an excellent source of support. Remember not to go through it alone and that 1) your parents may make significant progress and 2) regardless they'll be LOTS of people who'll accept you just the way you are.

 

if toby dies, that will just be my last straw, and ill resort to only reading the newspaper!!

LOL the newspaper? hehehe I wouldn't look there for pleasant, happy reading! Of course I've made it a point to avoid reading the newspaper or watching the news since I was about your age, so for all I know they may be filled with cheerful things....I doubt it though

 

Anyway take care everyone and have an awesome day! Teriffic chapter, David! Awesome job, Kitty! (in fact the Maggie/Ryan interaction was one of my favourite parts )

 

Kevin

Edited June 26, 2006 by AFriendlyFace

[AFriendlyFace]

it's hard to get the inspiration to write when only the few same posters chime in with their thoughts.

 

***borrows C James' sunglasses and Steve's (flattoppp) large hat***

 

Hi everyone, I'm John. I'm new to the forum, but I just wanted to say what an excellent chapter I thought this was. I'm looking forward to reading more and I know chapter 22 will be worth the wait; however, I hope Buddha posts more for us to see ASAP!

 

-John (who's face is neither friendly nor familiar)

Edited June 26, 2006 by AFriendlyFace

[LittleBuddhaTW]

***borrows C James' sunglasses and Steve's (flattoppp) large hat***

 

Hi everyone, I'm John. I'm new to the forum, but I just wanted to say what an excellent chapter I thought this was. I'm looking forward to reading more and I know chapter 22 will be worth the wait; however, I hope Buddha posts more for us to see ASAP!

 

-John (who's face is neither friendly nor familiar)

 

ROFLMAO!!!

 

Oh dear Buddha, that was priceless! And I bet Kitty will be laughing just as hard as me when she sees this!

 

And thanks for the above analysis, too, Kevin (and everyone)! I also really liked Nicko's point about Connor's paying the bills and stuff for him and his mom as a sign of his "strength" early on to be very profound.

 

*Hugz*

 

Buddha