Kileoli
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So Oliver and Lydia are on the move. But seriously why did you add Axl to the whole equation? I feel sorry for the boy. You'd better not order by Domino's anymore. And if the four are going on a double date, can you send Lydia and Oliver to watch them for the moral support?
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Chapter 4: Shared Instance
Kileoli commented on Kileoli's story chapter in Chapter 4: Shared Instance
Long distance relationships are generally a lot of work, but the question with Rick is if he is not committed to the relationship or he is just a lost case committed to nothing but to his gaming. -
The next call happened the way the second attempts at anything happened: quieter, less ceremonious, and therefore more dangerous in its own way, because it implied continuation without asking permission. Rick’s message arrived first—short, careful, pretending it was about the document. Syntax: quick question Syntax: do you prefer i rewrite before you look again or do you want it as-is with notes Liam saw it while the cursor blinked in the margin of a sentence he’d already flagge
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It's really entertaining reading the exchange, and somehow seeing the screws getting tighter or removed. Maybe the Doc volunteers to beta read your stories. 😚
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Thanks for watching them. I almost don't dare to comment anymore, when the two are at it. Almost like what Kyle's dad think. And I spent more time reading the comments than the whole chapter. I wonder how much had @Topher Lydon changed after the brain orgasms for the coming chapter.
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Hi Odie, welcome to GA. It's a good time for reading stories, when you're cold and don't want to go out.
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The emails started the way most professional correspondences did: cautious, overly polite, and shaped by the unspoken fear of being a burden. Rick’s first message arrived just after midnight, time-stamped with a precision that felt less like organization and more like a nervous compulsion to prove he was serious. Hi, Thanks again for agreeing to look at this. I’ve attached the draft as a PDF and a Word file in case one’s easier for comments. Please don’t feel rushed—whenever you have
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The whole relation is a game for the duo 😅
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Thanks for the acknowledgement. I just realized I overdid it in the first chapters, there will be a few more scenes but the gaming remains in the first book. In the second one they are too busy bitching at each other, there's no time for other things.
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But the Delorean is not ready yet, and it probably doesn't purr..... Wait a sec. Is that Orel and Finn in the Delorean heading to Alvin for a round of roles and dices?
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Oh no. I really had to accept the challenge. I opened the door, music loud in the headphones, making up new numbers, I really tried to be nice to them but it was damned cold. Didn't I say I don't like snow? At least I let them go their way into the cold wonderful forest. And thanks now I have it looped in my playlist. I even thought of watching the series but they stopped streaming it on Netflix end of 2025. I wonder if PB is Lydia and who is Jake? Kyle?😅
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Chapter 2 - New Beginnings
Kileoli commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 2 - New Beginnings
It was nice seeing Marcus giving himself a second chance but what was with the ending? It looked like the calm before storm. And do we get James and Marcus as a couple?😂 -
Liam sat slouched in an office chair with wheels that rolled too easily for his liking, one foot hooked around the central spoke to keep himself from drifting backward as he leaned. The controller lay warm and familiar in his hands, plastic worn smooth where his thumbs rested. The room was mostly dark, its edges softened by the glow of two monitors, everything else reduced to suggestion: the corner of a desk, an abandoned mug, the faint reflection of himself in black glass. On the main scre
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That's an interesting view, when the characters start running their own stories. I can totally feel it when I throw melodrama and chain killers at them and they leave the scene sitting on a swing eating ice cream totally avoiding the drama. This is not true about all characters, some bend to my will. And that's why I throw them out of the stories. I just wonder which character is on a joy ride now. I can totally offer him a test drive in a VW. 😁 The weather is not the best but he can definitely go over 150 mph.
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Orel has a proper job to finance his home and a mentor. It's just Finn who needs an invitation to Orels new home or they should pay a visit to IKEA, buy their own bed and rug. Garrett can donate the vase and they may get the flowers from Ms. Patel. How Orel sees the world and analyzes it was the best in the chapter with the final decision of joining the chaos.
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At least Brad didn't give up on Lyn and Alexander, but then he was the one pushing them apart. Still I don't feel sorry for Brad, sick or not, it doesn't justify being an ass.
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What a twist. I was hoping for team Lydia and Oliver, but bamm you took away the auditor. Now Finn and Orel have to rely on glitter and donuts coming from Kyle and Rett. But how did Ollie finance the checks? I thought Orel had the money and Tarquin had already spent Ollie's share.
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Sorta funny when I was reading about the band , I thought of NSYNC and BSB, not one direction. Gabriel walking randomly into Sean in the park. Sean looking for a way to hide from his band mates and Gabriel checking the possibilities. There should be some hidden places for something quick between those two, right? And I really like Tom. He's definitely gonna save Gabriel's sorry ass one way or another.
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Hi Nikita, welcome and enjoy reading. There should be something for you that you like.
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No? Not one single kid? Then you have to sit at their kitchen table and watch their daily debates😅🤔 It might be that your grandchildren behave to impress you. Or it can be that these two kids are a bit different. They do have Liam/Rick's genes somehow since the two worked really hard to create these little monsters😁
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Only the big bad wolf can save the poor little Jack ,lost in an old misery. Jack has definitely seen some part of Theos reality. Still he has to believe in himself and not to follow the kind evil voice.
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Finn should call Lydia for back up. Orel actually knows how to deal with Tarquin now that he has his place, but then Tarquin has his men who can blow the extra house, it's almost standing on prayers and magic.
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The kids were there, at least they were in the last chapter of "snow" book with the idea of the yellow snow. If they sound so old, then Liam and Rick should be ancient. So it's something like this Liam is 41, Rick 35, Hermine 8 and Tiffany 5. They also have a gecko as pet, his name's Eddie. I also started with another story Ctrl+s... which tells the story of how Rick and Liam met.
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I thought I just write them in random short stories, but then it would be a bit annoying for the reader not knowing who they are dealing with or having to read other stories, so I hope it works.
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Rick was the kind of man people trusted instinctively, which was unfortunate for everyone involved, because it meant he was regularly handed responsibilities he never asked for and problems that should have belonged to entire committees. He spoke clearly. He listened carefully. He smiled at the right moments and frowned at the right ones. He knew how systems worked—legal systems, financial systems, institutional systems—and more importantly, he knew how they failed. When Rick entered a room
