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Kileoli

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Everything posted by Kileoli

  1. Kileoli
    Both? Lol, when someone wants to help with the whole logic.
  2. Kileoli
    I have already two parallel plots sketched and everything, but I cannot decide which one to write, a sad realistic one or something light hearted.
  3. Kileoli
    Though I'm not sure if I can really stay away from here. * Highly addicted to this mega perfect procrastination medicine*
  4. Kileoli

    Chapter 16

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 16

    perhaps a glass of the house red? We can provide a bendy straw, if that would be… helpful." Orel looked up, his expression one of genuine, guileless consideration. "A bendy straw? For wine? That would significantly reduce the risk of spillage during gesticulation. Yes, please. I approve of this service upgrade." This was so good, thanks. Im gonna drink my wine with a bendy straw from now on.🙃 And I'll come back for another comment when I have time to finish this chapter.
  5. Kileoli
    And back to 2012. Rick didn’t log out right away. He left his bard standing where the dungeon had spit him out, finally still, the last habitual micro-adjustments gone now that nothing required them. The ambient loop played on—distant armor, a low, meaningless hum—and for a few seconds Rick let it wash over him, the way you let water run over your hands after you’ve stopped scrubbing. Then he alt-tabbed. The desktop snapped into place too brightly, like a light switched on wi
  6. Kileoli
    Theo has an upgrade but the kiss at the end is missing 😄 Im just thinking was that creature some kind of demon since I don't know witches with horns.
  7. Kileoli
    They totally live in two different countries. Liam lives in Ukraine, Rick in Germany. That's why Liam said he didn't like learning German and had no intention of visiting Germany/Rick. 😅
  8. Kileoli
    What do you mean by ships passing in the night? Passing and not seeing?😅
  9. Kileoli
    By the time Rick noticed how often he was in transit, it had stopped feeling like movement and started feeling like posture. Every other weekend heading north to meet Anna. At least this time he had another destination. The bus ride home took five hours when traffic behaved, longer when it didn’t, and his body adjusted before his mind did—hips angled to avoid the loose screw that pressed into his thigh, one shoulder braced against the glass where the cold seeped through in a slow, patient w
  10. Kileoli

    Chapter 16

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 16

    Please do it. It would be a waste of potential twist in the plot,...or a twist in the straw? Now I'm thinking of a spiral formed straw in a glass of red wine...
  11. Kileoli

    Chapter 16

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 16

    I wonder how your brain work taking us from an eco therapy by Tabby, to the dark corners if Finn's memory and ending with a Domino's uniform. I wonder if anyone dares telling Orel he might have the wrong clothes on or they just offer him the best size, with the wine, ice cubes and a straw with a ceramic frog sitting at the table as the judgmental decoration.
  12. Kileoli

    Coquet

    Kileoli commented on Jason Rimbaud's story chapter in Coquet

    What a cute couple! Sean:" I want to write a song about you." Gabriel:" Let me shoot the sniper first." Didn't Gabriel take any pictures of Sean? So, time is ticking and Gabriel actually has to figure out who's after the Senator and find the best shooting angles during the concert while making out with Sean. He doesn't have it easy.
  13. Kileoli
    This chapter was too intense. Klebber should be very drunk with a very low tolerance that uses Dennis like that. But apparently it was something he did on this very day, right. The question is how much is he going to remember? No matter what Adam did to him, what he did to Dennis was pretty unfair, so he should be the one getting punished, not Dennis 😁
  14. Kileoli
    That was a nice chapter explaining the picture. Alexander should have send the picture printed to the other two. Its simply interesting of all the memories Alexander kept this one for so long. So has he changed his background photo now?
  15. Kileoli
    Yea. I guess he's a lost case.
  16. Kileoli
    By the time Rick noticed it, the routine had already settled into place. Most evenings unfolded the same way. He shut down his browser, stacked his notes into a pile that pretended to be intentional, and reached for Skype without consciously deciding to. The motion felt automatic, like turning the key in a familiar lock. Sometimes Liam was already online, camera off, the faint sound of movement on the other end suggesting he was doing something else while waiting. Other times Rick lingered
  17. Kileoli

    Chapter 15

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 15

    So Oliver and Lydia are on the move. But seriously why did you add Axl to the whole equation? I feel sorry for the boy. You'd better not order by Domino's anymore. And if the four are going on a double date, can you send Lydia and Oliver to watch them for the moral support?
  18. Kileoli
    Long distance relationships are generally a lot of work, but the question with Rick is if he is not committed to the relationship or he is just a lost case committed to nothing but to his gaming.
  19. Kileoli
    The next call happened the way the second attempts at anything happened: quieter, less ceremonious, and therefore more dangerous in its own way, because it implied continuation without asking permission. Rick’s message arrived first—short, careful, pretending it was about the document. Syntax: quick question Syntax: do you prefer i rewrite before you look again or do you want it as-is with notes Liam saw it while the cursor blinked in the margin of a sentence he’d already flagge
  20. Kileoli

    Chapter 13

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 13

    It's really entertaining reading the exchange, and somehow seeing the screws getting tighter or removed. Maybe the Doc volunteers to beta read your stories. 😚
  21. Kileoli

    Chapter 13

    Kileoli commented on Topher Lydon's story chapter in Chapter 13

    Thanks for watching them. I almost don't dare to comment anymore, when the two are at it. Almost like what Kyle's dad think. And I spent more time reading the comments than the whole chapter. I wonder how much had @Topher Lydon changed after the brain orgasms for the coming chapter.
  22. Kileoli
    Hi Odie, welcome to GA. It's a good time for reading stories, when you're cold and don't want to go out.
  23. Kileoli
    The emails started the way most professional correspondences did: cautious, overly polite, and shaped by the unspoken fear of being a burden. Rick’s first message arrived just after midnight, time-stamped with a precision that felt less like organization and more like a nervous compulsion to prove he was serious. Hi, Thanks again for agreeing to look at this. I’ve attached the draft as a PDF and a Word file in case one’s easier for comments. Please don’t feel rushed—whenever you have
  24. Kileoli

    Chapter 2: Latency

    Kileoli commented on Kileoli's story chapter in Chapter 2: Latency

    The whole relation is a game for the duo 😅
  25. Kileoli

    Chapter 2: Latency

    Kileoli commented on Kileoli's story chapter in Chapter 2: Latency

    Thanks for the acknowledgement. I just realized I overdid it in the first chapters, there will be a few more scenes but the gaming remains in the first book. In the second one they are too busy bitching at each other, there's no time for other things.
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