Andrew Q Gordon

What about a nudist opportunist??

This was so not what I expected when I started. It wasn't better or worse, just different. I really expected this to be so much more about John's failures and the like but most of it focused on his relationship with Wylie, the good times. I'm not sure how to explain this, but even though this was really Wylie and John's story, it felt so much more about Gordy and John. Yeah Gordy was in it for 1 chapter, and talked about in 3 or 4 total, but at the end, I felt an enormous disconnect with Wylie. I mean for the first few dozen chapters, I was loving him, he was sweet and wonderful and he was so fresh in his outlook and way of seeing things. Then the couple chapters where he goes off to be a husband and it's like I lost him. He was still a good decent man, but he seemed fake because he wasn't being true to himself. As I said, despite the title, it wasn't really about Gordy or even John and Gordy, but yet that is who left me with the strongest emotions. It's really quite amazing the effect your writing had on me. I don't feel that much. I think the writing needs a bit of polish but the story was so spot on. Really, this was a brilliant story. I'm a big fan Andy

I said this last chapter so I'll repeat it again I think this chapter could have 2 or 3. But that didn't detract from the story. Okay this was just so raw, I felt the pain of Gordy's death even though we barely knew him. It was a bit muddled how long they knew each other, dated etc before he went off to the Marines or even how long he was a marine. That might have helped, but it didn't hurt. It's weird how much I cared about Gordy and he was only in the story for such a short time and we knew so little about him. "Seeing" the casket seen was SO sad. I have to say although I knew from the flashback Gordy was dead, I didn't understand until this chapter what happened. What I mean is I thought it was something he did. Something his failed relationship with Wylie wouldn't let him over come and he hurt Gordy which in turn pushed him away. Turns out he didn't do anything, Gordy still loved him and he didn't run away from John nor did John push him away. That made it so much worse. John never got his real wish, to live his life with Gordy. Funny, I don't feel glad for Wylie. In fact I feel like he got what he didn't deserve because Gordy died. That made it even sadder still. I hate sad endings and despite them being together, I still felt an enormous wave or sad when this was over - that is not a criticism, it's actually quite brilliant. Thanks for reposting, I really enjoyed it. Andy

First a tiny complaint - you should have broke that up into 3 or possibly 4 chapters. That was 4 times as long as your normal ones just a thought. Okay so normally I am NOT a fan of the flash back - and though I liked it here - very much so - It left me with the feeling of when is the shoe gonna drop, what is he going to do to Gordy that drives him off? That said, this was a brilliant example of when flashback works SO well. God this chapter was gripping BECAUSE of the flash back. You did a really good making me care about John and Gordy - I could feel his personality even as it gripped John. It just kinda hurt knowing what was coming - which is why I said it was so well done.

As author I have to admit to a bias upfront BUT - just because it is not how you would act, doesn't mean the actions of the character are unbelievable. Just because you wouldn't label someone in a certain way, doesn't mean others wouldn't. The point is that it might be unusual, but I don't think be hung up and being independent is beyond belief. NOW, there might have been a better way, that I won't dispute, but I am open to suggestions and perhaps - JUST PERHAPS Trevor, don't read anything into it - I might, revise some things. But it's not likely. I wonder the same thing sometimes, Bee.

Zannen - Your introduction was spot on - hello is all it takes nur_jahan - All 'great' authors started somewhere - perhaps you're next??? A_Akira - Reading for a year is good, Posting is also good, don't wait too long, just take the plunge and post Welcome and enjoy.

Thanks Michael, Glad you enjoyed it. As for 'pushed,' I just needed a bit of motivation to do what I wanted to do anyway but was being lazy.

Too bad, I'll be in Vancouver the last week in July, bad timing I guess. Have fun.

Well that really was unexpected. I wasn't sure Wylie would marry Mary Anne, or that things would go the way they did, but I suppose I should have - what threw me I guess is that Wylie is working for John at the start so I assumed they were close - proximity and friends wise - the whole time. The Linda thing is interesting - no wonder dad is worried, GOLD DIGGER. Two thoughts - 1) Wylie is about the worst person to talk him out of it. For him there is and will always be his love for John. He has a wife, a son and if he had a side thing with John, his life would be perfect. For him at least. 2) Dad knows about him and Wylie and had he said something here and now, it would might have saved everyone a bit of heartache I can see a-comin. Okay, off to work and read on the train the last three chapters. I second Saintsfan - great story.

That chapter started out so nice and so happy and then it ends and totally explains what happened to John. I'd don't know how much I believe Wylie didn't know what he was doing - not what or how you wrote, just wondering if down the road we find out he really wasn't mistaking John for Mary Anne and was using John to work out his frustration but didn't care at the moment. That all the 'no talking sex' the 'wow was I drunk' act needed to have sex finally sent him over the edge and he was going to do it how he wanted and didn't have the sense to worry about how John felt under his 'assault' One wonders what they would have been like had there been no Mary Anne, no pregnancy etc. For an internalizing person like John, this will/was traumatic for sure. Now if only we see where Gordy fits in to all this, it is after all 'his' story right ?? [JK, I just had to toss that in ]

Big John and John Jr. certainly don't have any shortage of love do they? It is SO hard to see the current John with the John in the flash back. Whatever happens to John/Wylie must be huge to cause that change. Yeah their still friends, but something this show of affection is so opposite the John of the first chapter. Beyond that musing, this was a nice chapter. The mood and interaction felt real and you could feel the emotions from both.

Thanks Renee, funny this is I never set out to throw people, it wasn't meant to be a huge mysterious plot, but I guess in trying to let people know the boys - yeah, I all alex and his 3500 year old self a boy for now - I sorta had the story go for a bit that sorta made folks forget what I was doing. Alex and Nick together are an omen - which I sorta hinted at toward the end. So let's see when I find the time to do the longer one -- Thanks -- Andy

Do I have to look at the bad, can I stick to only the good?

My sense is - but what do I know right - that Trevor and Nick are not going to be strangers - though I suspect it might be hard on both of them to be around each other. But then again, one doesn't know Alex's views on monogamy -- no promises on when, but I do intend to write the longer story some day. Thanks for reading adn for the review. --Andy

Thanks Prince, glad it grabbed you. I was trying to do more than just toss in the angels and make it a story about them, I wanted it to be more about the characters who we find out happen to be angels - or an arch angel in Alex's case. I'm gonna go search for that song on U-tube and listen to it and see if it makes me see Alex spread his wings Thanks again for reading - and let me know if you read Second Shot. Hopefully it too will grab you. Andy

Jeff, Thanks for the response, let me see if I can answer some questions witht giving too much away: The idea that Nick might reject Alex and stay with Trevor was/is a consideration. I left it that Nick felt something but wasn't sure what it was. Trevor told him that if he didn't know Alex was the 'one' he would when he get's his powers. Of course he isn't supposed to get his powers for another 25-75 years so there is plenty of time fo him to NOT feel the pull - if that is how I take it. The final decision isn't made, though I think I know what I want to do. Trevor - again, another could go either way - he could be a martyr - protecting nick with his life, a confident/best friend or a he could be a jilted lover whose actions threaten to make things worse. Again, I have a good sense what i want but no final decision. For Nick's looks - I think he is better looking than he says. Remember both Trev and Alex think he is beautiful and not just on the inside. Nick doesn't necessarily have the most self confidence. And hanging around trevor wouldn't help it when everyone wants your best friend. But not all angels are amazing looking. We just haven't met any of the ugly ones yet. That said, Angel's like Alex and his brothers came over and took human form. Thus they got to pick what they wanted. As did the other original Angels. That would give the breeding stock a leg up since they could pick what they looked like. My idea on the Angel's powers aren't fully formed yet, but Nick will be like the other angel's - immortal even though his powers are fully there yet. he will not age like other humans. Beyond that, he will have control over his appearance, meaning he can change his features but I don't envision him doing that or having that power right away - he is still a long ways from having his powers. okay that was a lot - more than I had intended. Whew, now to find time to start this.

Thanks Sam, glad you enjoyed it.

Are the naked one's hot??

I have this whole vision, I wish I could share it all without ruining things for people, I haven't worked out all the kinks but most are in place - or in my head. I want to shy away from the "Angels' have too much power, I am not trying to write the Justice League of Angels or the Avenging Angels, but their powers need to be more than just a wee little thing. The glimpses as you call are - in my opinion - harder than the long ones. In the long ones you can bury a few bad lines or cheat a bit to push things along and so long as the rest of the story is good, people will over look it. the short ones have so few words and lines that you can't waste any, each one has to work. Either way, I loved what you did, hmmm maybe I need to post this on your forum

Rightness if the Hanover boys, for Kis?? Did I say that??? :blink: if I did I have no idea what that means LOL

Meh - it was alright I guess - Actually just kidding - I thought that was much better than It Was a Holy Day and I liked that quite a lot. Err I thought Puck was dead at the end of Holy Day - needs to go back and read it - no is sure of it, cause the King was sending Rix to the Monastery because no one could survive his bound being killed, and yet Rix didn't seem affected sooooo maybe Puck isn't so dead after all. Hehe. You twicky wittle wabbit you. I do like Kis and Tal - now image if Puck is alive, he'll be bound to Prince Rix dag the hanover boys are just sexing their way up the Galactic social order aren't they? Yes they must be sexy devils like you said

Not that I expect a straight answer buttttt - Valdorn made the comment to Mia that he did not believe the government agents were really government agents. That suggested to me they were Jozet's people not anyone connected to Kismet's people or the UNish galactic government, I didn't mean to suggest Valdorn and Jozet were related. Figured you'd offer like I did to you - but I know better now

Just to touch on your last post before I say my piece, these clearly ARE interconnect - I mean Kisemt "runs' off to find Puck - and while Kismet's story stands alone quite nicely - or at least the part I am up to - I am reading it on the metro - you can't say they aren't related. You just don't have cross over scenes that appear in both stories. So I am only up to where Kis pitches sweet woo to his roommate's cousin and the dividing sheet is missing. And I have questions and comments. Is the 'universe' this is set in kept deliberately vague, i.e. the political and/or galatic structure? Or is it too much to fit in too small a space? I find/found it hard to follow the social structure of you 'worlds' it seems their is a galatic government of sorts but are the various entities autonomous? it seemed clear that the moment Kis stepped foot on the ship he was on safe ground, i.e. the government official couldn't touch him. And yet, Vol, is nephew to the prince but still in the same school as Kis but the government people backed off real fast when he said, my uncle the Prince - now at that point I just assumed he was important etc, but when Kis was running for the Ship it was clear the Uncle's people were not able to just collect him, and escort him to the ship - hence the chase. But once there, it was sovereign property. Same with the last one where Rix and his people seemed to have some autonomy within the governmental structure. Now I suspect it could Jozet's people trying to keep Kis from doing what he was doing - hence Vol's comments - but since the stories aren't interconnected, That can't be right. I'm a bit confused as well by time and by space travel. How long do interstellar trips take? It seems wherever Kis is going to find Puck it is a journey of many many weeks if not more. I'll review the story when I finish, it is a tad on the long side and not having been graced with an advanced copy, I need to go through it now. And it is rather good so I am taking my time and not just trying to get finished.

Thanks CF - yeah there are a few things left to work out. Alex has found his 'one' there was a twist I originally wanted to add to the story, but left out - according to the mythos - Uriel was a prophet of sorts - Alex/Uriel has the ability to see probable futures - that will be fleshed out - so yeah, he will worry a bit about Nick. -- the other Angels - no they are no more gay than humans, Michael Raphael and Gabriel will each have children, many children but speficially for the story Michael and Raphael's daughters and Gabriels son, will play a major roll. At least that is the thought for now. SO much can and will change. Thanks for the lengthy review - much appreciated. -- Andy

I did say that I wished I could write like you. Shifting from 'long' story to 'short' story isn't always easy for me - hence the epic nature of this 'short' story. The 'longer' story will answer some of the questions raised here, but it will raise far far more. How well I answer any of them will determine who well received it is Thank you for the review and for reading --