AFriendlyFace

lol so you're saying the government/society has decided to segregate all the gay kids? Hmm I'm sure the ACLU will have a field day with that one! J/k of course Colours: Blue and Yellow, because blue is my favourite colour and yellow just looks awesome with it! My gosh when blonde guys wear blue! Mascot: Squirrel, because after cats and dogs (which would just be stupid as mascots) they're my favourite animals.

Hahaha yeah! Go Ronnie I completely agree with Sparrow and James. The quiz does seem to focus primarily on stereotypes. Which is why I'm satisfied with my 53%, 45-55% is probaby pretty much where I'd want to fall on this type of scale. I like to embrace the best my traditional gender role has to offer (assertiveness, independence, strength etc.) while also enjoying the best my gay stereotype might offer (emotionality, sensualness, nuturing etc.)....of courese I'm sure I have quite a bit of the negative of each too Anyway of course it doesn't really tell you how "gay" you are, just how "traditionally effiminate/butch" you might be. But I don't think any of it should be taken very seriously anyway. It's just a fun little test Good for laugh and a smile

So it seems like life's really been dealing some of my favourite females a bad hand lately . I went back to my (current) spade league (not the dead one), only to find out that the captain of our team, and my main partner (the one who talked me into joining after all the drama with the old league) wasn't around. I didn't see her for about a week when finally reports begain to circulate that the reason was because her sister had just died . To make things even worse apparently about a month earlier (also while I was gone) a different sister had died . So she finally came back last night and I asked her how she was doing. She said she felt a little lost . But then immediately asked if I wanted to play a few games so we did. It was fun, just like old times . I've really never played (spades) with anyone who can get inside my head like she can. I swear most of the time we play it's like we're looking at each other's hands. She's a tough lady though, I think she'll be okay. *********** Then there's my friend Mandi. After my test this evening (actually I could tell a whole story about my day up until that point; which really wasn't that great , but I won't since that's not what this post is about lol) I decided to go out to dinner to cheer myself up (yeah lousy day). Anyway while I was there we were texting each other. Apparently as well as all the other drama she's broke as well. So I took her out for ice cream to cheer her up. Basically she had a cover story for her parents all planned out, but her roommate didn't know it and ended saying the wrong thing and making her mom suspicious. Apparently she'd had a great weekend with Joe (the boyfriend), and they'd even had the big "where is this going and what are our future plans" talk, but then when her mom finally tracked her down and called the hotel that put a damper on things . To make matters worse her car is still in her mom's name so she's worried she's going to take it away. But the really sucky thing is that her mom isn't going to give her any more money for bills until she sits down and talks this thing out with her (which I actually think isn't so unreasonable), but of course Mandi isn't eager to do this. So she was really worried because her credit card bill (which she's maxed out ) is due in like two days, and obviously it's NOT going to be good if she defaults. But I talked her into letting me lend her the money to pay it until she gets money from her parents (which she's sure she WILL do once she talks to them). SO I guess it'll work out. Actually I'm mostly just being a "loyal friend" and presenting everything from her point of view. I actually really see her family's POV too and I really wouldn't be too happy with her either if she were my daughter. BUT she's going to do what she wants to anyway and it's probably best for me to just try to be there for her instead of trying to pressure her into doing what I think she should do. I think what does bother me though is the way she allows her self to be dependent on other people. She never keeps a job very long, she always gets tired of it after a week or so and just keeps calling in sick or giving other excuses for not showing up until they fire her....Or she just quits right away. Before she broke up with her Fiance' she just managed to rely on him and her parents to "take care of her". After she broke it off with him she still had her parents for bills but got a job for awhile to cover her every day expenses. But now that she's in a new serious relationship it looks like she's falling back into the same pattern. I just couldn't do that! My independence is very important to me. I don't even like not having a "safety net" of reserve cash saved up, just incase something did happen and I had to leave my current job or couldn't work for awhile. I guess it's the anxiety prone side of me, but I freak out if I don't know where my next check's coming from. But anyway we had ice cream, hung out for awhile, and went to Wal-Mart, and while she's got tangible problems to sort out I don't think she's particularly unhappy . ******** Then there's Claire . I was texting with her at the restaurant too. Basically I just sent her a "hey, how's life been treating you" sorta message because I like to check in every now and then. But her response was "Not so good, I'm hurting right now" . So of course I was freaking out. Poor Claire. I wrote in a previous entry about her and Mary breaking up, so I don't know if it's related to that, but I am worried about her. Anyway I made plans to go and meet her tomorrow (which is like a 3 hour drive ) and we're going to go the the mall in the morning and then lunch. So I guess I'll get the scoop then. It's just that she's such a great person, but she's just prone to depression and anxiety. She's been clinically depressed, has social anxiety, various phobias, and she's bipolar. So I just always take it seriously if she says something's not right. I actually feel....well not responsible exactly. It's hard to explain. We met our Soph. year of high school after she transferred from her old school where she was really miserable (that was when she had been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety). Anyway I know she wasn't exactly elated everyday, but it seemed like alot of the time I spent with her she really was happy and having fun. She started taking Paxil for the social anxiety and she just seemed to be doing well. Then after we graduated and went to different schools it seems like she got worse. I found out she was cutting for awhile , then she was diagnoses with the bipolar, and she started smoking And drinking more than she should. I mean obviously it's not my fault and I guess in all likelihood she'd have still developed those problems even if I had been around her everyday, but I still feel like I could have been making it better. So anyway tomorrow I'm going to go and see if I can make it better (and maybe buy some new clothes! ) The thing is she's such a great person! I mean she's awesome! She's an EXTREMELY gifted artist, she's perhaps the most intelligent person I've ever known, she has a great sense of humour, and she's just really sweet and caring. In early July right before I joined this forum (or maybe right after I did) I was having a little mini-breakdown. It wasn't too bad, but I knew I needed help when it got to the point that at work I had to keep excusing myself to the bathroom to go and cry. Anyway she's the one that I talked it all out with, and I mean ALL out with. I was actually able to pretty much open up and tell her all my feelings and fears and stuff. So I've just got to help her. *********** Anyway she has work at 2:00 so after that I'm going to head on over to my hometown (which is between our two cities) and have dinner and maybe a movie or something with my mom; who you guys alreadly know the deal about. So tomorrow ought to be a pretty action packed day. Actually I'm sure I'll have a great time! So now I'm going to go have a nice long bath, and shave and stuff, then pick out my clothes for tomorrow....I'm not sure what I'm going to wear yet, but I'm pretty sure it'll be tight Anyway I hope everyone has an awesome weekend! Take care everyone! (or I'll have to come and take you out for ice cream! )

Hiya Rob! Thanks, I think you're right. Actually while I was sitting there listening I was thinking, "Ya know, I could probably do YOUR job" . I even subtly asked about the requirements. I'd have to get a degree in counseling....which was on my list as a possibility anyway, so ya never know lol. I think that's definitely some good advice, thanks . I guess since I'm not too particular right now it does make more sense to look for what's available than to worry about figuring out something specific and looking for that. And I know it would be easier once I was already there...it's just I'd be more panicked then and freaking out. yeah , she found him when he was a very young kitten. Actually too young to really be on solid food , but he was a feisty little guy and just ate whatever was put in front of him (till he got old and finicky that is). LOL you're right! There's definitely nothing wrong with crazy I actually didn't end up going out with them, but I do plan on continuing/developing the friendship Anyway, I hope you have a great day Rob! Take care Kevin

Hey Mark It's just really frustrating because I did know what I wanted to do. Right up until my final year...then it's suddenly like, "gee on second thought" Thanks, I talked to her today and I think she's doing okay for the most part, and I'm gonna go visit her tomorrow. Yep her situation is a mess alright! I spent the evening trying to cheer her up. I think she'll be okay though. Anyway I hope you have a really great day! Take care Kevin

Hey Viv! Oh no that's awful! I'm so sorry I'm also really sorry to hear about Rich's grandpa , how's he doing with it? Also without wanting to sound like I'm being insensitive or missing the point; isn't 10 days a long time to wait before having a funeral? It seems like most funerals around here are done within 4 or 5 days of the person dying. I hope your daughter enjoys her visit and I hope the two of you are okay with being apart for so long! LOL well now I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter! GRRRrrr! You're so right; cheating sucks! I hope you have a great day Viv, good luck getting through the rough work week. And Cheer up! Kevin

Hey David! My gosh! That seems rude to me too. You should have responded in kind. With a, "thanks you too!", or maybe, "yep, and you're looking a little tired yourself; is that a new wrinkle I detect?" Aww! Isn't Kitty teriffic! I'm so glad to hear that we'll get to read Seeking Nirvana soon That sounds fun! I'm looking forward to it! Have a great day and take care, Kevin

Thanks! She actually recommended that site too! So it must be great . I guess this appointment went better than the last. I enjoyed talking to this lady alot more. She ended up signing me up to take a "strong interest inventory" test, to find out what I like and what jobs might include some of those things....well I'm pretty sure no one's going to pay me to do this all day , nor am I likely to get much money from playing spades, or taking walks. But on the bright side I'm interested in lotsa stuff so ya never know Crud! All day I kept reminding myself to call and see how she was doing and darnit if I didn't forget . I feel like such a negligent son....GRRRRR She's more of an "animals find her" kinda person. But actually there's a couple other cats there, it's just that those are like my grandparents' cats whereas Petey was "her baby". I actually didn't end up going, they started right when my test was begining, I probably coulda caught the tail end of desert or something, but I wasn't really in the mood after I finished up anyway. ***yawns*** Well I don't feel good about it, but I don't feel bad about it either. So I'm guessing a B or a C. Thanks for asking! No the class I keep "missing" lol, is tomorrow night (and I really need to study for it GRRRrrr) and yay thanks for the star Thanks! I'm expecting it to! I get paid Friday, and I'll be in the mood to have fun after this "studious" week lol. hmmmmm I think I wanna go ice skating. I wonder if I can find some brave soul to go with me? Anyway I hope your week is completely awesome, amazingly teriffic, and of such a high degree of enjoyableness that it tests the very bounds of rational thought! Umm, take care Kevin Edit: check this out! This is what I got when I tried to post this: " THE FOLLOWING ERROR(S) WERE FOUND You have posted a message with more emoticons that this board allows. Please reduce the number of emoticons you've added to the message " WOW! (I'd do a shocked smiley but clearly that wouldn't be helpful)

Hey David! I loved the last chapter of SOOTB! It was awesome, and I thought the sex scene was really HOT. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Sounds like just the kind of thing I'd enjoy I can't wait to read it (well I'm sure I can, but I don't WANT to ) Anyway have a fun day and good luck with the scholarship excursion! Take care. Kevin

Actually having checked out that link of Kitty's, I do know who he is. I just didn't recognize the name at first. I'd say it's iffy either way personally.

I took it and I'm 53% gay

So here's a general summary of what's been going on in my life of late. Friday I had an appointment to see a job counselor at the career services department of my university. I was hoping I could line up a job for when I moved to Houston, that way I wouldn't be freaking out once I got there. Well the whole thing was all but a big waste of time, my appointment was at 11:00am...I was done by 11:08. Basically I told her I didn't care too much what I did, it could be anything to do with psychology, sociology, writing/english or just any old job that paid decently and required a college degree. She told me I was being way too vague and would have to narrow it down more. I said "well hopefully it'll only be for a year or two tops before I go back to grad school" (not that I'm even sure WHAT I want to go to grad school in...) Anyway she said "too vague, you need to make an appointment to see someone who focuses on career counseling (she herself just did job search). Well anyway she gave me a few website to check out that would list vacancies in Houston and I made an appointment to see the career counselor (which is now tomorrow). **Sigh** I know it's a big waste of time. I can already tell you exactly what she's going to tell me. I'm going to find out that I'm well suited to a job involving people and/or creative endeavors, and that I have good leadership and analytical skills. But unless they actually tell me "you need to become a member of management in the public relations department of a company which makes wooden sculptures" I don't see it helping me narrow this down all that much. Meanwhile today at work I was having a perfectly pleasant day when I checked my phone 45 min. before going home time only to discover that my mom had left me a voice mail. It turns out she came home from work today and found her cat dead in the yard, a couple of feet away from the street . She was very upset to put it mildly. She'd really grown super attached to the cat, particularly after her 16 year old cat died last year (yeah 16 years old. I was really attached to him,,,,I mean I was only like 5 when we got him). Anyway I called and had a very depressing 5 min talk with her. Then a few hours later she called back again and we had another very depressing 5 min talk. I offered to drive in and visit, but she said there really wasn't anything I could (which is true), and that I shouldn't bother particularly since I have 2 (maybe 3???) exams this week. So after I talked to her I thought perhaps going out to dinner would lighten my mood a bit so I called my friend Mandi (I've seriously been wanting to do a whole entry just on her). Anyway she's got a boyfriend in Ohio; her very over-protective parents do not approve of this. However, she's been sneaking off every couple of weekends (well not really "sneaking off" she lives 70 miles away from them, but they do call alot so she has to come up with excuses) to go and see him. Sometimes they meet in the middle sometimes one of them just drives all the way to the other. I'm still yet to meet him but he sounds pretty nice. Anyway apparently her mom found out this weekend and things got...ugly. Maybe I'll go into more detail later but basically she wasn't in the mood to go out and talking to her only gave me more things to feel bad about and worry over. I mean I don't approve of the lying either, but I think it's ashame that they try to keep her on such a short lead when the girl's 21 years old for goodness sake. I mean I know they're just worried about her, but she wouldn't be sneaking around or doing as many risky things if she didn't feel boxed in. Anyway so today at work I spent a good bit of time with the new girl, Stacey. Wow! This girl is fun! She's extremely cheerful and chatty and has a great sense of humour. Cute smile too. Anyway she's also extremely playful and flirtatious. The first day I met her she used the phrase "work it" on me, when I walked by. Then last Thursday I found out she was in my night class, but I came in late and left early (what ?? it's a REALLY boring class, and it lasts 3 hours! So I seldom go and never stay for the whole thing...yeah yeah I'm being bad ) so we didn't get a chance to talk. So today when I see her the first thing she says to me is, "so did you see me checking you out in our psyc. class Thursday?" . LOL then an hour or so later when I went to pass by her our backsides sorta brushed up against each other. So I was like "oh excuse me" and she laughed and smirked and said "oh that's okay, I liked it". . So anyway you'd think this would be making me uncomfortable right? Naw not really. It just fits her personality really well and she doesn't seem threatening. Anyway the confusing bit is when toward the end of the day the topic of sushi came up and I said how much I liked it. So she invited me to go have sushi with her and her BOYFRIEND tomorrow night. huh! I mean I wasn't interested in dating her because 1 ) I'd rather date a guy right now in my life and 2 ) I'm moving soon and don't want to start ANY relationship. But actually if I were going to date a girl she wouldn't be a bad choice. Anyway I really don't get it, I mean she keeps coming on to me, but then invites me to have sushi with her and her boyfriend. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend! Anyway I told her the truth, I have my other night class tomorrow night, and we have a test in it. So she said she'd call me when they were going and if I was done with the test by then I could just go meet them. Oh well, it's complicated but I think I really will go if I'm done with the test in time. I mean she is fun, I like meeting new people (her boyfriend...and NO I'm not at all thinking along THOSE lines), I do love sushi, and they're going somewhere I've never been before. So it'll probably be kinda fun. Anyway I guess I'd better start studying Have a great day everyone! Kevin

Kitty, where did you find that nifty emoticon? I think I smiled a bit while watching the clip,,,but I didn't actually laugh

I won't argue that point myself since only Nick himself could say exactly what his intent and motives were. That was amusing. It did remind me though that I have heard some minorities (and now that I think of it, even a few white people) refer to something as "white". Sort of like, "I can't believe you did that, that was such a white thing to do". When asked to clarify exactly what they meant by that, I've generally been given a response along the lines of, "oh I didn't really mean it as an insult to you, YOU don't act like that, I didn't even mean it as an insult to white people, I was just describing the behaviour". I don't know exactly what they meant, and again I'd probably shy away from using such a term. I'd probably conclude though that this was some sort of socialized response/concept. Furthermore, even if it did start with derogatory intent toward that group of people, I really do believe most of the people I've heard use it didn't have any malicious intent toward white people. They may indeed have been using it in a derogatory fashion, but the word (while perhaps in some instances negatively used in and of itself) was no longer tied to the group of people it originally referred to. Largely in the minds of the people involved the word itself had lost it's symbolic value to represent the group which it originally described. There's probably a very large degree of "disconnect" between what people really mean and think about something and what they might rationally be forced to conclude from cold, hard, unemotional, objective evidence. As far as I'm concerned though it's the intent which matters in this case. If it's said in a harmless manner, or perhaps in a joking, playful way, and is thus clearly not meant to hurt anyone. Then I'll just brush it off. When it comes down to it words only mean what people mean by them; if they mean two different things to each of the people involved then I'd say the best course of action is to ask for clarification and accept the response they give you. I can't speak for Nick but it seems unlikely that he'd have any reason to attack gay people, I also have a general understanding of what was meant by his usage of the word, and as I understand it there really isn't any malevolent intent toward gay people. I do however commend you on your integrity with taking a stand for something you believe in. You're right to brazenly stand by while injustice is done does characterize moral bankruptcy. We must indeed stand up for human rights. I just don't think this particular cause is a black and white example of gay people being ridiculed. Anyway that's pretty much the extent of my personal knowledge and opinions about the matter, and again I was simply trying to describe how I saw it. Yes it was and I quite enjoyed thinking about it, thank you for the stimulating debate. Anyway take care and have an awesome day Kevin (who is devoid of malicious intent in this matter)

I really don't have an opinion about the man myself, to be completely honest I have no idea what he even looks like. You said that he's Larry David's manager?? I know who Larry David is, and wouldn't think him gay, but I really don't know Fierstein. Assuming however, that I did characterize him as gay (at least to some degree) based on his appearance and mannerisms I would definitely not categorize my conclusion as a prejudice. I hold no negative opinions toward "effiminate" men, "butch" women, "typical" people, very "masculine" men, nor very "feminine" women. So if I concluded that he acted effiminate, and therefore must/might be gay then I would readily admit that my perception was a conditioned response from the society I live in. Clearly the general, pervasive societal beliefs regarding behaviour and sexuality (whether right or wrong) has leaked into my psyche and would be affecting my judgement. However, since this judgement would not, for me, come attached to any sort of value statement about the behaviour/orientation then I wouldn't actually call it a prejudice. I realize I'm probably missing the actual point of this thread completely. Which I'm assuming isn't so much to argue whether or not behaviour/mannerisms predict orientation, nor is it to debate the value and correctness of these interpertations. I realize the main point is probably just to debate the specific case of Harvey Fierstein's sexuality (as per the Ryan Seacrest thread); however, unfortunately I really can't make an actual statement about that . I have enjoyed the discussion I've had with you and Kitty thus far though, even if that isn't exactly the "point". Anyway take care and have a great day Kevin

Happy Birthday you guys! I hope it's an awesome one!

I agree!

Hey Howie, I think it's just a part of the American teen culture nowadays. I caught the very end of it, younger kids were using the expression when I was my late teens. From a sociological point of view words and expressions are constantly being redefined; this is normal and healthy for a society. The same word can mean vastly different things to a 15 year old, a 35 year old, a 55 year old, and a 75 year old. It also means different things coming from different people. A good example of this is how the word "queer" has changed meanings, and emotive value over the years. It used to be pretty derogatory, but now it's gaining more popular acceptance (Think Queer eye for the Straight Guy )and losing it's negative connotations (at least for many gays themselves). Another example is the "N word". My grandparents used the word as a perfectly harmless way to refer to people of that race, and people in their 80s and 90s of either race (in my area), were fine with the term. People in my parent's generation (people in their 50s and 60s), (not my parents to the best of my knowledge though ) used the word in a derogatory fashion. Nowadays it's completely acceptable for black people to use the term with each other, and if you've got the right style and are close with the people and accepted by them, a white person might even be able to use it inoffensively. I'm something of a prude and very careful not to offend anyone's sensibilities with my language. So I'd never try to use the "N word", I'm not especially comfortable referring to gay people as "queer", and I personally would never dream of referring to something as "gay". And yes to be completely honest with you I too wince just a little when I hear it used in that way. But that doesn't mean I think people who use the words with non-derogatory intent should be reprimanded, particularly if they happen to belong to the group in question. Believe it or not it can actually be destigmatizing for main stream society to hear minorities revitalizing a word or phrase. It isn't really fair (IMO) for you to judge Nick's culture and generation in terms of your own. It should also be pointed out that teens of this generation are considerably more tolerant towards homosexuality than any other generation in American history. If someone in his 30s or 40s were using the phrase as such it could reasonably be inferred that they mean it in the nasty way you're taking it, but someone 13-17 might mean something entirely different. To mangle an old quote I quite like "we are after all one people torn apart by a common language". Anyway I personally meant no offense in any way to anyone, especially you Howie, and I sincerely hope I haven't given any. This is simply my take on things and for all I know I'm completely off base. Have an awesome day and take care everyone, Kevin

Hey Dyan Perphaps no one with an opinion about it has read it yet. There's always only a small fraction of people who actually read a post that reply to it. I actually don't know who you mean, I don't watch tv, and haven't since before that show came on I'm afraid . Though I have heard good things about it. In general I don't think I'd agree with the "either or" line that he seems to be drawing. I'm a complete relativist; nothing is ever completely black and white as far as I'm concerned. What about bisexuals? Metrosexuals? People who identify one way or the other but might have the occasional random attraction? Some straight guys are effiminate and some gay guys are really butch. And that's what makes life so fun and unpredictable anyway Well have an awesome day and take care! Kevin

True enough I suppose, but sometimes I disappear from somewhere for awhile, and when I finally come back it's like I'm a "newbie" all over again, since there's always a ton of new people and things are different.

Hey Viv! First off, thanks for that link! It was a fun little quiz. it says: I guess that's about right, I'd have thought a little gay-er but I guess I am fairly straight for a "gay" person I thought that was so funny! Woo Hoo! I'm so excited to hear that your going to get a shared hosting page! You really deserve it! I love FBTE! which brings me to my next point: Super yay! (now how can I go around using expressions like "super yay" and still only be 53% gay?!?) ahhh so you've written 17 chapters already, but only posted 14! I guess you like to stay ahead of us too , oh well no complaints here each chapter is well worth the wait and I can see how that might make it nicer for you I know I completely agree! There's a ton of people around here I just want to hold until they feel better hmm, don't know what all of that is about, and I'm sure it's none of my business, but Michael and Mike are pretty teriffic! Anyway have an awesome day Viv! Take care and be safe and happy Kevin

OH goodness, I'm so sorry I hope everything works out okay. Best of luck, Green. Take care and warmest wishes, Kevin

Nick! **runs off to put on anti-wrinkle cream** j/k of course, dude Kevin

Hey Nick! I have no idea what's going on or what happened, but I have to say I think you're a really awesome, sweet person for caring about it so much, and apologizing! I don't know what happened so I can't say why the person said what they said that offended you, but I can say that while you're definitely right in that they don't know you in real life and can't see how it's affecting you, THEY should also be careful about what they say, and remember that they can't see your reactions. Obviously I'm not saying who was right or wrong, but when someone gets upset 9 times out of 10 it's a least partly BOTH people's fault. So anyway go you for being the big person and apologizing , and I seriously think you're one of the best Christians I know! (and having been raised in private, Christian schools believe me I know ALOT) So what happened to your hard drive? Did it crash or have to be reformatted or something? That sucks I'm sorry. OK now I just feel really bad about not commenting! I meant to but didn't do it at the time sorry. I'm seriously really enjoying it though! I'm really happy to hear the next chapter will be coming out soon too! I have to go to bed now, and I have a bunch of school junk to do this week so no promises set in stone, but I definitely intend to re-read it tomorrow and leave you a comment . Anyway have a safe trip to and from California, and I know it's not really a "happy trip", but I hope you can relish the time you spend with your family, and still take something positive away from it. Have an awesome day, Nick, and take care! Kevin

Hey Camy! Glad to hear you're having a pleasant, restful day. Sometimes that is the best for you, even if it isn't "productive". I completely agree! I can barely physically write anymore, I wouldn't be surprised if eventually I'll lose the ability completely. Of course I know what the letters are supposed to look like, so I'm sure I'll always be able to take a stab at representing them on paper myself, but as it is it's already completely unnatural for me to write, and I really have to focus on doing it, it's anything but automatic for me now . LOL in fact I did a whole blog about it: I Can Barely (Physically) Write Anyway have an awesome day and take care! Kevin