AFriendlyFace

Thanks Kitty, I think so too

Hey Nick I'm so sorry, about whatever it is that's bothering you I think it's a good thing to be careful about hurting people's feelings, but I also know, as someone who has trouble speaking his mind when it might offend, that it can also cause problems and make you feel even worse/helpless/ignored. Perhaps you could try to communicate privately (PM or email or something) with these people and try to let them know how you feel in an inoffensive, nonthreatening way. Anyway I hope you feel better! As for the job, good luck! First jobs are always very exciting, and a big adjustment. I didn't work at all in high school, but in college I've generally put in between 30-50 hours a week. It takes some getting used to. Good luck! Have an awesome day, good luck with the job, and try to feel better Kevin

hope you feel better soon, Green

Hey everyone. So the other night I was listening to one of my old cds, and I used to be really into Eve 6. Anyway this song came on and while I'd never really questioned it before, I found myself wondering what it meant. It sounds to me like the singer thinks his friend is gay and has a crush on him. Here's the lyrics (with certain parts boldfaced and my comments in parentheses), let me know what ya think. Eve 6 - Jet Pack Lyrics You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes You're the one using me as a muse ( so he's playful and he's drawing inspiration from the guy ) You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go It's you are her and nobody else The lights are low and she's so ready You're already on your way to the door ( not interested in the girl) You're at the bar the tender gives you a free drink And when she's perfect you sweat bullets spill the drink and you leave Everyone leaves the party except a gorgeous 20-something You turn and run You call me up ( two more examples of disinterest in girls and an interest in the singer) You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes You're the one using me as a muse You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go Ready to go So, the way you act is it just an act to some strange courtship ritual? A habitual nervous reaction? Hey it's just me set yourself free Why don't you let me know what's going on inside your cluttered head? ( encouraging him to come out? You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes You're the one using me as a muse You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go Ready to go What the hell are you talking about? Is that what you would say? If I were to wonder outloud would it make you turn away? Just a curious question to think about. ( so the singer suspects but doesn't want to upset his friend) If it was you and me and nobody else would want me to want to be ready to go? Or would you want to take the lights down low? ( WOW ) You're the one stepping on the back of my shoes You're the one using me as a muse You're the one with the jet pack strapped to your back ready to go Ready to go Hey it's just me set yourself free Why don't you let me know what's going on? ( sorta like "it's just me, you can tell me" ) Hey it's just me set yourself free Why don't you let me know what's going on? Hey it's just me set yourself free Why don't you let me know what's going on? Hey it's just me set yourself free LOL ok so now that I actually read through the lyrics myself (instead of just mindlessly singing along), I think it's rather obvious. Anyway it's a cool song (though certainly not one of my favourites by them). Have a great day everyone and take care, Kevin

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday!

Hey Camy, I'm really sorry to hear you feel so "divided". I can readily understand that, it's easy to feel like you're either hiding one part of yourself or the other. I suppose the "healthy" answer is to figure out a way to incorporate the two, but of course I understand that's not as easy as it sounds. is you are out to your two best friends, maybe you really could talk to them about how you feel though. I know that's a difficult conversation to have, but maybe you could bring it up very casually and try to keep it light. It might still make you feel better. Crying is cathartic, I think it's a learned skill. I'm much better at it now than I was four or five years ago. Don't give up on crying. I'm sure you'd rather cry about whatever particular things are bothering you, but if you can't perhaps you could watch a very sad movie, or read a really sad book or something and cry at that. Then look for more "crying" material. Eventually when crying becomes a more routine, accepted part of your life, it'll be easier to do it for personal reasons at the appropriate times. It's strange about crying though, it rather seems to me like people actively try to avoid crying, or actively try to cry. If only everyone could just cry whenever the mood struck, and not worry about supressing it, or forcing it......Not likely to happen though. Anyway I hope you feel better, and I hope you can come to whatever decisions will be necessary so that you can lead a happy, fulfilled life. Good luck, and take care Kevin

The grass is always greener. I've had people remark that they've paid hairdressers upwards of a hundred dollars to have perfect spiral curls like mine and I laugh and tell them I go out of my way to tame them down into loose waves. My hair will never be straight, which is a shame, because as I said before, the grass is always greener. I agree Luigi, we always want what we don't have. It's a rather sad aspect of the human condition. Still I think it's one of the main reasons people seek variety, and that is the "spice of life" as they say. Of course around here Tony Chachere's is the spice of life, but at least people put it on many various foods Anyway take care and have a teriffic day! Kevin

Thanks Michael, that does sound like an interesting book, I'll have to check it out sometime. I think people just get tired of the same old thing. And of course hair has always been one of humankind's main interests. In fact the other day in my Anthropology class my prof. was talking about things which every culture have in common. One of them was an interest in "hairstyles" and how the hair should be worn etc. It just seems phenomenal to me that throughout the whole world, every society, regardless of their way of life or the particular problems they face, they ALL focuse on "gee, you think I should part this?" Anyway have an awesome day and take care! Kevin

LOL

Hey Viv I think I mostly agree with Vic (though I don't remember a Seb and Tim from DD, and I don't know why Rory was meddling in their business ). I think bottoming is a much more emotional, step. Not to try to analyize women or anything, but perhaps that's why it's such a monumental step for them as well. Maybe it's just naturally more intense and emotional the first time someone "comes inside", and of course there's a big issue of trust involved. Not that I'm downplaying the seriousness of topping for the first time. I think anytime two people decide to make love for the first time (even if it ISN'T their individual first times), it's a really big step. Of course as Michael pointed out they were in a good relationship, and I'm sure Rory trusted Seth and felt "ready". I've always said TLW has absolutely the best first time love scene I've ever read. I mean WOW, I think EVERYONE'S first time should be like that . I guess it just depends on the person and who they're with/how ready they are. As for Brokeback, I agree with you. I see the cultural significance, and it does convey a powerful message, but I wasn't that crazy about it myself. It just wasn't really my type of story. I think it was probably a little too dark for tastes, with regards to "romantic" movies that is. I don't know if you've seen Closer but I LOVED that movie, and it was completely negative about love and romance. I think the reason I liked it so much though is because that's what I was expecting, I went into it thinking "Okay this is a movie about how messed up people's relationships can get". Whereas with Brokeback it was trumpeted as a "great love story" and I kept trying to see everything through that lens (and seriously if you ask me their "love" wasn't that healthy or positive). A better theme would have been "dangers of the closet" or "what happens when you can't accept yourself". In fact I'm sure if I'd viewed it more with those principles in mind (or completely without expectation), I'd have liked it a lot more. I'm not saying Jack and Ennis didn't care about each other, but they just didn't express it very well, and did far too many questionable things in their private lives to be admirable characters (which could be said for the folks in Closer, but again I went into wanting and expecting to see screwed up relationships with heavily flawed people). For me a great love story should make you say to yourself "awwww, I want that!" or "awwww! I have that". When I saw Brokeback I just thought how tragic the whole thing was and kept thinking "gee, I don't want that". Anyway have an awesome day and take care Kevin

"Sleep With Myself" by Prozzak Ya I'll dance with you for a while But I'm not going to take you home I don't even know you last name Let me explain Been around the world a thousand times Been swept away on distant shores Bedded down with angels Drank their wine And always the conclusion is the same Making love is always grand But eventually Love ends a losing game So let's leave it alone I'm going home People think celibacy's a crime Not saying I won't love again But couldn't we just talk for a while And modern girls (and boys) Got one thing in their head Before you down your second drink You're in the cab And then you're in her(/his) bed So let's hold off on the sex play I don't even know your last name I'd rather sleep with myself tonight Where no one else can harm me baby no Oh Oh Although I'm really quite fond of you My best intentions never turn out right I'd rather sleep with myself tonight Ok so I'm going to do something selfish, and downright disgusting. Something I'd find completely off putting in other people. So unless you're okay with that you might want to stop reading now. What is this dreadful thing? Bragging of course. Now I suppose I shouldn't. I mean it's very unattractive. On the other hand, this is a place for my feelings and I'm feeling good about myself. So why not? Besides psychologically speaking a little ego boost from time to time is healthy. (you guys just stop me if I make it a habit) I'll just be honest. I feel really HOT and sexy right now. I just spent the last 4 hours in the bathroom. I took an incredibly long, hot, bubble bath; well technically 4 really long, hot, bubble baths...lol not my fault the water didn't want to stay really hot . I shaved (face as well as chest, stomach, etc.), I moisturized, I loofahed, I pumiced (can I make that a verb? Well I'm gonna ), all the while listening to music and singing rather loudly. Then I straightened my hair. I'd bought this chemical kit thing. Yuck it smelled awful , but it does seem to have worked rather well, and my hair doesn't feel fried. It did change colour though! It said it was safe for colour treated hair, but somehow the stuff must have reacted with the red or something. I went from a wavy redhead to a straight yellowy blonde. Which really I'm quite pleased with. It's a colour I might have chosen anyway, so hey two birds, one stone Anyway I just feel so great now! I'm all smooth and stuff And I have to say my face looks really clear and radiant. And my body? WHOA. hehehe. It's great! Pretty much since my teens I've thought "ya know the "perfect" age is like 22." I'd been looking forward to it for quite awhile; I always expected to be in my "prime" then. I mean it's old enough to be legal for everything and fully independent, but it's young enough to still look great and be full of energy. And I think this year lived up to its expectation Of course feeling sexy and good about yourself can be a sure recipe for wanting someone. And I do. But I'm certainly not going to start a relationship with less than 2 months before I move hundreds of miles. And I definitely don't want a fling (heck I'd rather sleep with myself :king: ), besides I don't need anyone (right now) anyway. I want someone, but I don't need them, not for the next couple of months anyway. LOL to get sassy for a bit, "I don't need no man to define me!". While I'm at it I think I'll finally put on paper (electronic paper mind you) the two things about unsuccessful relationships that I've always promised myself: 1)I will not stay with someone cheats on me. 2)I will not stay with someone who's physically or verbally abusive. I can do better! So I'm going to hold myself to that, and if I ever write about a relationship in this blog, and things go wrong in it. I hope someone will point this out to me. So who did I "fix myself up" for? ME LOL and besides just because I'm not "on the market" doesn't mean I object to people trying to "price" me.....okay that analogy really did make me sound like a prostitute. So instead I'll quote another (rather irritating, pop) song to get my point across: "If you got it, flaunt it, boy I know you want it" Check on it ~ Beyonce On a side note, someone from work was having a party tonight, and I said I might drop by for a bit. However, I hardly know the guy, and what I do know is that everyone will be drinking an insane amount of liquor and acting foolish. Which I really wasn't in the mood to do tonight. I definitely think this "bath" night was more fun! Ironically the party was supposed to end around 4am, which is the time now. So it really is like I did this instead. Well I'd better get to bed. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow, I'm going to get dressed up, have a teriffic day, and "flaunt it" I hope I didn't offend anyone with my horribly sickening self-admiration, but it was fun. And I promise I'll be a good boy next time Have a really awesome day everyone and take care! Kevin

Hey guys, Good luck on your surgery Green, and make sure to go back to the doc FREQUENTLY for follow ups, if they do come back they shouldn't be too big a deal if caught early, but you don't want to let it get out of hand. You might want to go slow there. Chaz's twin (Mike?) may not be ready. No strike that. He's not read- please encourage him to go slow in the romance department. -JS I agree James, was about to say the same thing It's probably best for him to come to terms with everything first and then get his feet wet slowly, but as Michael said at least he has the benefit of more experienced people he can turn to. best of luck and take care, Kevin

Hey Ronnie I'm sorry to hear about Justin, that's awful! I mostly agree with you about meds. (for myself anyway). I tend to try to stay off of everything as much as possible. Only if I get really sick do I take anything, but perhaps the meds will help him. I agree that he should try to deal with the problem and not just mask the symptoms, but maybe the drugs will enable him to handle whatever issues and stresses he's dealing with. Anyway I hope everything turns out ok. Really cool about your friend Meghan! Have an awesome day and take care Kevin

what's wrong Mikie?

LOL!

Oh Viv thanks! I'm so touched Awww That is really scary about your friend. Poor thing. I really hope this pregnancy goes well and her baby is healthy. I just checked out that Mary J. Blige song, I do like it I'm so excited to hear that your next chapter might be out soon! I can't wait! I'm tempted to try to write something for the Spring Anthology, but all I've got is several "ideas" and a few notes for one of them. I just don't seem to have the discipline to sit down and write something out. Anyway have a really awesome evening! I you completely made my day with that heart! Thanks Take care, Kevin

Well said Camy! I really enjoyed chapter 3. I'm so glad you're updating so quickly. I look forward to the next chapter! Kevin

So first off I should probably warn you not to read this until you've read DD 36. I just finished it; the most moving part for me was definitely the hospital scene with Aaron explaining what happened:

Hey Kaiten! LOL I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows the value of extra rest on exam weeks! and you're definitely right about guys; they're just complicated! I've had an awesome week so far! I hope you have a fantastic one too Take care and keep resting Kevin Hey Luigi! LOL "interesting" is the adjective I use when I'm not so favourably inclined towards them. That they definitely are! Anyway I hope you have a teriffic day and good luck with everything! Kevin Hey Nick! LOL it's so funny you should say that. Sometimes when I'm in the store and about to buy something really silly/pointless (like that blue plate I bought that I didn't need but wanted because it was blue!), I kinda laugh and say to myself "I can buy whatever I want, 'cause I'm a big boy now!" Actually my classes aren't so bad. All and all I really don't think college was particularly tough. The only classes I've found very difficult were the ones I was required to take and wasn't very interested in, like a few for my general education requirements, and a couple ho-hummers in my major(s). But really for the most part it isn't bad. I did about 3x the amount of school work for High School and I'm really not exaggerating. Of course in High School I had really good grades (all A's), went to class every day, and studied a bunch. In college my grades are kinda blah (about a 3.2), I skip almost as many classes as I go to , and I usually just study for maybe an hour or two tops right before a test. LOL but don't let me lead you into expecting a really easy time of it, my major just happens to be something I find easy and am pretty good at, and actually I have alot less free time in general now. Since there's work (I work just under 40 hours a week), laundry, cooking, shopping (the fun part), and other household junk . Anyway have an awesome day and take care, Nick! Kevin

I loved the first two chapters Camy! I'm eagerly anticipating the 3rd. Have an awesome day and take care! Kevin

I mean it! I love people! They're definitely one of my all time favourite things. So I had a very nice day. I got up at 6am this morning so that I could study for my anthropology test, because I usually elect to just go to bed when I should probably study instea. Yeah it's like the exact opposite of how most college students behave, but if I've got homework, a project, or a test, I think, "well this is the perfect excuse to go to bed early!" So I do, then I just get up and do it the next morning (well usually ). Yeah it's midterm week, so that means I'll be getting plenty of rest . Anyway I hadn't studied at all for the Anth. test, and to top things off I'd skipped more classes than I'd attended. BUT this is the part where I mention that the class is insanely easy! On the first test (the time period before which I only attended slightly more classes), I got a 104. This test was pretty darn easy too and I'm definitely thinking another A, so yay . Anyway it was fun going to class. I made a couple friends in that class, so it was nice visiting before the test. I actually really think the guy is gay and into me, but I'm not positive. Anyway he's really not my type at all....and he tends to have bad breath I'd quite like to offer him a mint or something, but I don't want to offend, and anyway he's really sweet. So then I had Latin; we got back our tests from last week. I got another high B! I'm so happy! (and shocked!) Anyway there's 3 more tests, but I crunched a few numbers and it looks like I could make in the 40s and 50s on them and still pull out a D in the class. So WOO HOO looks like I've finally vanquished the nasty beast that is Latin. (Of course I'd prefer to score a little higher than a D, but I'd seriously take it and smile). So then I had lunch, broccoli and cheese casserole, MMMMM. Oh that reminds me, I gave up chocolate *gasp* and meat that isn't fish/shellfish for Lent (yep I do my vegetarianism the Catholic way - "what? Fish are vegetables, silly!" ). Anyway the meat thing isn't hard at all, the only meat I have much interest in besides fish is chicken, and I gave that up a couple Lents ago so I know I can do it. Anyway then I got in a nice really long walk (well actually 4 nice really long walks since I elected to walk from home to school and back, and then to work and back) Fun stuff . Anyway work was great, Mondays are my favourite day to work. It's my shortest work day and the people I work with on that day are some of my closest work friends. So then (you ever notice I start all my paragraphs, or at least the ones in this entry, "so then" or "anyway" ) I had dinner with a friend, and then we went out for (non-chocolate) ice cream afterwards. Actually I've been meaning to do a whole blog just about this friend, but I'll save that for another time. Needless to say I almost outed myself to her because the guy making the ice cream was just adorable! Not only could I not stop staring (well not in a creepy way), but I had to bite my lip to keep from blirting out "you are so cute!" while he was making my ice cream. On a side note isn't it ashame you can't just say that to people? I mean I like to say nice things to people when I mean it, I wish I could just randomly go around giving strangers compliments. Anyway (see what I mean) then I got home and someone had emailed me the notes for our big sociology test tomorrow! Yeah I kinda had the same problem with that class I did with Anthropology - I kept skipping alot, but this is our first test so I really don't know how hard it's going to be, I actually expect it to be pretty tough, but not that I have the notes . YAY! So this and two other incidents lead me to the conclusion that people are just teriffic! See I don't even know this girl, I'd just sent out an email to people in my class asking if anyone had notes they wouldn't mind giving me, and SHE DID , they look quite comprehensive too. One of the other two incidents was when I ran into this guy from high school the other day. Actually he saw me. I was strolling along and all of a sudden I heard someone behind me say "hey Kevin!", so I turn around and there's Michael, so we proceed to have a nice conversation on the way to our respective classes. Now I guess this doesn't sound so odd, except that this is really only the second conversation we've EVER had. The first was my freshman year of high school. I can't remember why but I was having this really lousy day and was kinda down. Anyway it was last period and that year I had a very lax teacher for last period so it was always quite easy to get out of class. So anyway again I don't remember what exactly I was doing out of class, but I went to my locker and up walks this cute guy I hadn't met yet. Now I'm normally pretty friendly but I just wasn't in the mood that day, so I just kept minding my own business. But he stops me and introduces himself and we have this really nice chat, and he really cheers me up! Anyway we never had a class together, and ran in different circles, but he was always friendly if I'd see him, and once again he initated our (second) conversation. This last time I was in a perfectly good mood, but it still made me even happier chatting with him. He's not as cute as he was in High School...or maybe my taste changed, but he's still a really nice guy. The third incident was one of my about monthly conversations with Philip (yes, he spells his name with one L). We were fairly good friends in High school. Actually we could have been really great friends except that the boy was so completely hot, sweet, funny, nice, "good", and all around amazing that I tried to keep my distance so that I wouldn't fall utterly in love lol. He was also completely straight, I know this because I was one of his favourite people to confide in about his "love life". Not sex life mind you because he really was a "good" boy, stunningly well-behaved. He didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs and he was just so.....sweet. UM anyway so yeah we've lost touch but occasionally I see him online and he always makes me happy. I kinda feel a tad guilty, I always got the impression he wanted to be much closer friends,,,,but like I said I tried to keep my distance a little (without hurting him, I was always careful never to blow him off or hurt his feelings), he was just too cute for his own good . Anyway so people rock, and I'm going to have a shower and go to bed so I can get up early and study those notes, before the test. Have an amazing day everyone and take care! Kevin

Oh my gosh, that does sound awful.....If you get to pick any one of those side effects though - go with euphoria . I hope whatever it is you're taking it for (or not taking it for) isn't too bad. And I hope you feel better soon! Take care, Kevin

WTG Nick! I'll have to check that site out. I loved the first chapter of your new story, I hadn't realized it was originally going to be for the anthology. Anyway take care and have a great day! Kevin

Go with the flow? Have fun with it and see where it takes you? All of a sudden I'm hearing Peter, Paul, and Mary singing, "to every thing ... there is a season ... turn, turn, turn ... and a time for every purpose under heaven." (that's taken from Ecclesiastes, BTW.) Kitty Was that Peter, Paul, and Mary? I was thinking it was the Byrds. Anyway it doesn't matter, it's a great song and excellent advice! You know I had no idea it was taken from Ecclesiastes until my graduation ceremony from High School! It was a Catholic School so we were having a mass, and one of the girls I was graduating with got up to read that passage, it was funny. I was mostly listening all along, but very "casually", all of a sudden she started saying those words and I thought, "what's going on? Why is she quoting a song instead of reading the Bible?" Then I realized it was IN the Bible, but I kept getting thrown off expecting the next lyrics instead of the actual Verse. Anyway thanks for the advice Kitty! I will just try to go with the flow . LOL thanks for the trip down memory lane too Have a fantastic day and take care! Kevin