AFriendlyFace

Liar! By the way dude, I really hope everything can eventually work out with your parents eventually and that people are able to figure you out. Take care Kevin

LOLOL Nick! That is awesome and really sweet! I quite like these lyrics from "Good Morning Beautiful" Good Morning Beautiful, How was your night? Mine was wonderful with you by my side!" **Sigh** I think if someone ever says that to me it'll be one of those "you just made my life" kinda moments (depending on how they say it and the look in their eyes/face). LOL unlikely it'll happen though since I'm looking to say it myself, and once I do that'll make it less likely the same thing will be said on a different morning.....if that make sense?

You're right Kitty, taking the staires is very good excerise. I remember reading that climbing up just 10 flights of staires was equivalent to......well something significant I knew a girl a couple of years ago who got stuck in a restroom stall. She was the girlfriend of one of my best friends and we'd all gone out to the horsetrack for the evening. Anyway she had his phone with her and used it to call my phone so that we could come get her out. But while we were trying to figure out if it was really ok for us to go in there to help her this tough "cowgirl" in the next stall overheard her. Apparently she uttered the phrase "Stand back, honey" and then proceeded to kick the door open. So anyway that's not such an odd fear. I mean if it had been some abandoned restroom and she hadn't had a cell phone, I guess she'd have had to crawl out on her belly or try to climb out on the toliet. I used to like scary movies when I was a kid, but then around 17 or 18 I started empathizing with the people alot more, and it started to freak me out. Which sucks because just the other day I was thinking I wanted to watch the Scream trilogy again, but I think it'll upset me, weird me out or whatever. Anyway I'm actually kinda fond of heights, I find them exhilarating. And I actually feel more "secure" in smaller spaces. I used to be afraid of cheesegraters. That was probably pretty odd. It started out as a generalized blade phobia which I then projected completely and exclusively to cheesegraters, but I'm pretty much entirely over that now. Dentists still make me extremely uncomfortable. That's definitely my worst "concrete" fear. I can't stand going (Thus I brush like 6 times a day). I just want to get up and run when I'm in that chair. It's all the normal stuff too, like the drill etc. But you know what really freak me out? That little mirror and hook thing! I'm still extremly anxious driving around railings; like for bridges and overpasses. But it's the railing (or wall in some places) that freak me out, it's not the height or fear of water. In fact even though I know it's safer WITH the railing, I'd probably feel more comfortable going over stuff without one. I think it's akin to how horses hate "just barely" seeing things in their peripheral vision......I dunno maybe I should get blinders lol. I actually hate driving in general and am very nervous about it on an intellectual level. I'm also fairly uncomfortable doing it, but not usually that panicky, unless I have a near accident or have to put on the breaks fast. I drive with ALOT of distance between me and the next car. I'm perfectly willing to go fast, but I won't follow at all closely. And it's hard to explain but I've got a slight anxiety problem when it comes to "Chaotic" situations. Like walking through the quad at school at lunch makes me nervous. And it's because everyone's making alot of noise and moving in different directions. I would have no problem if everyone was quiet and not moving, or all going the same direction in a fairly organized way. I just can't stand for their to be alot of people all being loud and doing different stuff. Actually I say I can't stand it but I do to some extent everyday. We talked about it once in one of my psyc. classes. I think my brain gets "over-stimulated" too easily. That's probably why I can't stand to listen to music while I read or write (like right now). Why I will not talk unless the TV or Radio is turned off or completely down. Why I can't stand "background" noise (unless it's very low and soothing). And why running water or appliances (or even AC's) make me tense. I don't even notice it until they go off then all of a sudden it's like "ahh" It's weird because of that I'd actually be calmer giving a speech or something in front of a crowd of people all focused on me, than being in the same room with everyone being loud and random. "Excuse me can I have your attention please!......nothing I just wanted you all to hush up for a bit " Anyway take care all and have a great day! Kevin

HMMM I don't think you were really handcuffed by the police. Can't see you in any serious trouble I usually accidently eat those little white seeds in the watermelon myself. And who doesn't love Ben & Jerry's? HMM, well I was gonna guess the serious felony thing. But now I know it's the balloon and frog thing. Aww I hope it's the kitten thing. I had a cat that got stepped on TWICE (2 seperate incidents) by a cow, but she was fortunate in that it was muddy and the cow didn't go all the way down, so she survived. HMMM I'm gonna take a wild guess that it's the sunflower seed thing. ***looks innocent and acts like he hasn't see the next post*** Well I don't mean to burst your bubble (or balloon ), and you're right I'm sure a fear of frogs is pretty common, but we had a big discussion about this in one of my psyc. classes a few semesters ago. It seems people just made up alot of names for potential phobias before anyone (or very many people) were actually diagnosed. Just kinda for fun or "to get their first" or because of the usual conventions for naming phobias its apparent what some would be. Like they have one Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. Anyway have a great day everyone and take care, Kevin

OK so I know we've only read one chapter so far, and I guess in a way we don't even know what the central "theme" is going to be about. But I thought now would be a fun, if very premature, time to make predictions for how it's going to end up. So here's mine: -Nelson and Milo eventually end up together. -Haily and Jame eventually end up together. -Caleb freaks out when he finds out Nelson is gay, and much of the storyline is about them working it out. -Joe takes it well, and shows some of that fierce loyalty to his friends that was hinted at. -Haily initially freaks out. Jame, who is of course already ok with Milo, helps her sort out her feelings. I'm guessing that during the course of this that's when their relationship develops. -Look for Caleb to be serious trouble, and feel extremely isolated from his friends when all the above things occur (bestfriend being gay, Haily (who I get the impression is basically like a sister to him), dating his rival, and Joe mostly being ok with these things). -I'm thinking somehow an important dream is going to figure into this and that'll help him (Caleb) work stuff out. -It'll be interesting to see what happens with Nelson and Milo both being artists, and maybe I'm just being silly and overly-romantic, but I'm thinking they're going to "collaborate" to recreate the paintings lost in the first chapter. -I have no guesses whatsoever about what specific roles Nelson's family (and Leanna) will play, but I suspect mostly supportive ones. So that's what I think. LOL in 30 or 40 chapters it'll be fun to look back and see how wrong (or maybe partly right) our guess are. Love the new story! Have an awesome day everyone and take care! Kevin

Hmm, My guess for Sharon's lie is "I didn't pick any of the furniture in my house." My guess for Rob's lie is "I'm afraid of butterflies"

LOL considering the amount of water I drink, believe me I start everything, be it recipe or not, with a......well you know.

OK so the first day of one of my classes we played this game I thought was kinda fun. It's called "Two Truths and a Lie". You have to say three things about yourself that we don't know. Two of which are true, one of which is a lie. Then we try to guess which one is the lie. I was thinking we could post our three facts. Guess on everyone else's, then in 3 or 4 days we could all "confess" which one is the lie. It's also more fun if you give interesting facts that can then be explained further. like one girl in my class did: "I've never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich" "I have seven siblings" "I'm afraid of spiders" And the lie was that she was afraid of spiders, in fact she isn't (Interesting). She also really does have seven siblings (Interesting). And she's never eaten a PB&J sandwich because she is in fact allergic to peanuts (also interesting). You guys get the idea. So I'll go first: "I sometimes use an anti-aging cream" "I once starred in a play" "I've been hypnotized a few times" Now you guys guess which one is a lie and post your own three things. I Hope you guys like the game. Take care, Kevin

Thanks Luigi, that's good advice. I guess I do need to remember to walk before I can run. I suppose I do have a tendency to rush into things full steam sometimes, then get discouraged and quit all together. I probably would do better if I took it slow. LOL and I love your grandmother's quote by the way!

.........hmmm do I get anything for nausea and a sore throat? No prozac, but check out "prozzak" they're a teriffic band, and quite cheery!

I really hate to be a wet blanket (especially as I'm quite concerned about how being a wet blanket I got wet in the first place ), but uhhh Chapter 30 came out a few days ago and we've all had a chat about it already. I think you musta meant 31. Don't worry though RK, I mean this IS your first time, can't expect to be perfect at it yet

When I die I'm going to do some traveling. I bet it's much easier to just pick up and go if your dead. Thanks James!!

Happy Birthday Greg! LOL that's a cool way to describe being a 2nd semester Soph. haha I think most people's favorite pastime lies somewhere between pole-dancing and sleeping/eating Being a good liar can definitely come in handy! Just don't use your powers for evil. I know what you mean about seeming outgoing. Or seeming shy for that matter. I'm both depending on the circumstances and my mood. Like with new people or really unfamilar situations I'm very outgoing since I find that to be pretty useful. With people I know, but not that well, or in situations I have some experience with but not alot, I tend to be very quiet and just observe, since I feel like I need to learn more. With very familar people or circumstances I guess I'm just fairly balanced. I'm insane too! Insanity rocks!

I'm working on improving my ambidextrous abilities, I'm naturally right handed but it's fun to be able to go both ways (yes I did mean that with a little innuendo). I'm Catholic and pick and choose my beliefs too. Frankly I think it's a good idea, no one should just believe everything their told without questioning it for themselves (IMO). LOL I hope you figure out what you should be doing, I certainly know what you mean there. I graduate in May with a B.A. in Psychology and Sociology, and now I'm thinking I'm not going to do anything with either. Games rock! I like board games, but I'm much more into card games! Spades is my favorite, I also love Rook, Canasta, Hearts and......welll just about all card games really. I like all the gambling ones too, though I personally like 7 card stud much better than Texas Hold 'em, and I'm sorry that's the one that "caught on" so much. Greenday's great! Thanks for letting us get to know you too! Have an awesome day and take care Kevin That's so cool that you can say "yeah, I'm fluent in nothing, but I speak so many!" Dude! Thanks for giving me an idea with that age thing. 22 has always been my romanticized ideal age (and it has been good), so maybe I can just stay 22 for a few years. HMMMM The cycling thing sounds awesome! I've been thinking of taking it up. I'm a big walker and had started running, but cycling might be fun. Wow that concert pianist thing is fantastic! Go you! I wish I could play the piano. Also totally great that you can sing Personally I don't think anyone's beliefs should be laughed at. Especially if they've actually thought them out, and they work for that person. But no offense, just my opinion. Anyway have a great day and take care, Kevin Edit: So I have a question. I meant to post this as two seperate posts so that it wasn't all long and difficult to follow, but it automatically attached my 2nd post to my 1st one. Why? But then the 3rd one was seperate??

"February made me shiver with every paper I delivered, bad news on the door step, I couldn't take one more step" Well it's here. The month I literally dread all year. I'll just go ahead and say it now; February sucks! ALOT! I'll explain. Two Februarys ago it was pretty much the worst time of my life (thus far). Why? Well tough to say. I know in general I was feeling extremely lonely and pathetic, but there probably wasn't much of a tangible reason. Of course that's what makes it stand out as a period of "semi-depression", if I had a specific reason (unless I let that reason spiral into depression), it woulda just been "I was grieving because ___". Anyway I guess all I can offer in the way of an explanation is that February is always the time school gets tough, it's when all the classes start having their first tests (usually at the same time), and it's just stressful. It's also more hectic at work around that time, and it's kind of a dreary time of the year. I don't think I have seasonal affect disorder (S.A.D.), but my mood is a tad susceptible to the weather. Then of course there's Valentine's day. I was living with a very happy couple, another friend came and stayed with me for about a week so he could be near his girlfriend (and of course they both ended up staying over), and in general it seemed like everyone had someone. And not just romantically either I felt like in general I was drifting away from all my friends, being replaced by S.O's or just different, new friends. So yeah I felt really stressed out, frantic, lonely, and isolated. I also realized how messed up and deep my inability to express negativity went. Everyday I'd get up and go through my day with a nice plastic smile on my face, laughing and joking with everyone, then I'd come home and cry myself to sleep. Don't get me wrong about 90% of the time that I seem happy, I really am, just not always. I just really hate expressing sadness in front of people, though I have made huge progress and can do it much better now. Anger's much worse though, I still can't be openly angry at someone. I have gotten to the point where I can tell everyone else that I'm angry and why, and I've even started to be able to not actively pretend to be happy when I'm angry, but I've still got a ways to go. So anyway back to that February; it sucked and I pretty much wouldn't let anyone know. I finally got over it by being honest and accepting support. I've really never had any problem at all accepting support, and I'm one of those people that WILL talk about his problems if you ask. I do WANT to talk about it, I guess I just want people to figure it out and ask me on their own, but of course that's not really fair or sensible if I'm going to go around pretending to be fine. I mean people don't just stop and ask someone who seems happy "so are you really miserable underneath it all?" "why yes I am! I'm glad you asked." So anyway I finally just told some of my friends, and made a few efforts to compact it into one or two tidy little "things". Like I convinced myself it was because of Valentine's day (which I'm sure in part it was but I doubt that was all of it), I also convinced myself it was because I'd run out of vitamins (yeah really wacko and unlikely I know). Well when Valentine's day arrived I decided "that's it I'm going to get over this". So I dressed up, took myself out to a nice restaurant, then went shopping. And it pretty much worked. So you'd think that would have taken care of it right? Well no. See since I'd made it all about "February", the next year I'd kinda "psyced" myself out for February sucking. Of course it was nothing in comparison. And I'd made it a point to tell everyone I was at all close to about the last February and my general "February unhappiness", so I had alot more support. But I still pretty much managed to make it the worst month of the year. So this year was going to be different. I'd had a really good January for the most part, and I kept telling myself "February isn't going to get you down, you've got a lot of positive momentum going, you'll be fine". I also reminded myself that I was probably making it suck myself, looking for stuff, just starting out in a worse mood etc. So I was going to be fine. Then today happened. It's a long story, but basically I had a lousy day. And I delt with it in a very unhealthy way. I was so stressed out that I just came home and got drunk. The worst part it, that was pretty much the plan. I just didn't want to think about the stuff that was going on anymore, so I actively sought an escape. So I had a shot of tequila and drank two pitchers of Strawberry Margaritas. I had it all planned out, I got ready for bed BEFORE I started drinking, so that all I had to do was just brush my teeth and pass out. And I did. But escapism never really solves anything does it? I slept great for about three and half hours then I woke up slightly nauseous and a tad dizzy and tossed and turned for two hours trying to go back to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about all the garbage I was trying to escape in the first place. So this is plan B. I'm into the whole "it's theraputic to write or talk about it" so that's what I'm doing. I'm also going to have a really nice, hot, long bubble bath when I'm done with this, then try to go back to sleep. So I guess what bothers me the most isn't the "problems" anyway. It's me, it's how I deal with it, it's how I "cause" it in the first place. I mean yeah today sucked, but I know on one of my good days it wouldn't have bothered me at all, or very little. I straight out sabatouged my own day, I knew I was doing it, and I still couldn't stop myself. I also really hate how even the people I'm really crazy about can hurt me, and I still can't TELL THEM. I can whine to everyone else, BUT the person I actually have the problem with......But then it's usually because I get upset about something so stupid or minor in the first place that even I know it's completely unreasonable and stupid, and how am I supposed to argue my side if I'm not even on my side? I mean I guess I could try it from a feelings POV. "when you did X, it made me feel Y, and even though I admit that X is minor it's still bad because it caused me to feel Y" "Ok so if you know X is trival and that I didn't mean to upset you, WHY are you feeling Y?" "uhhh, I dunno." Then it's really stupid because I don't usually get upset over something more serious anyway. Probably because that's the kinda thing people notice and apologize for right away, and that's really all it takes for me to get over something. "gee I'm sorry I got mad and shot you 5 times, I really hope they can save you" "aww that's ok! Don't worry about it. I mean everyone loses their temper sometimes, and you were probably just grumpy today." "so you're not mad?" "no no,it's fine really. Don't worry about it" OK so maybe not that extreme but you get the point, the phrase "I'm sorry" (if uttered sincerely) fixes most of my hurt feelings. Of course there comes a time when I'm thinking "No, it's not enough that you're sorry, try not hurting me in the first place, Jerk" But that's only if the same person keeps doing the same thing. If it's an isolated incident and they really are sorry, it's all good. So I guess the other problem is that I decided to just get drunk instead of dealing with it. I knew I shouldn't, but I convinced myself "well it's all stupid anyway, and if you can just stop thinking about it, it'll be fine.". But that didn't work, I seriously thought it would too! I guess it coulda been worse. I mean I've never had any real trouble with drinking. I don't do it often, I do it in a safe environment, and I'm a happy drunk. I was even happy tonight. I was laughing my butt my off. I've also always made it a point to never drink if I'm upset or not happy in the first place. I mean I know enough about addiction to know that's a bad idea. I think THAT'S what I'm most disappointed about. That I purposely broke my own rule (not to mention my New Year's resolution, but whatever). Still, it obviously didn't work anyway so I doubt I'll be doing it again anytime soon. And I AM proud of myself for not just going to the casino or eating a chocolate mountain or something. I mean those are more "real" and threatening problems for me. Well anyway I'm going to have that bath and try to go back to sleep. I think I do feel better now. And all I have to do is keep reminding myself that just because it's February I don't have to be unhappy. **sigh** I'm going to have to remind myself of that ALOT. LOL I doubt anyone got through this long, whiney, rambling entry in the first place, but if you did thanks for listening, and even if you didn't I did it for me anyway.

Dude that does suck! I'm so sorry. It's definitely completely unfair that she started threatening that suicide stuff right after they started seeing each other. In general I think using the "S word" to keep someone from breaking up with you is a horrible thing to do. I have a couple of friends who were engaged, and the girl broke it off with the guy. Well the guy calls her up and says that unless she takes him back he'll kill himself, then she hears the gun cock. It was horrible and completely manipulative. Anyway would it be possible to talk to him about their relationship? I mean kinda ask him "so you guys have been going out for awhile, are you happy?". I know you said he was happier before, but there's two good reasons I can think of to actually ask him. First it's possible that he'd be a little less happy now than he was then anyway, I mean that period of people's lives can tend to be a little angst-filled. Secondly even if she is the main reason he's been unhappy, he really might not have realized or thought about it. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I guess I'll have to stick with the usual "hang in there" or "it'll all work out in the end". Anyway take care of yourself and I really hope it does work out for the best. Kevin

LOL I didn't realize until about the same point. I did enjoy it Dom! Well done

Awww Nifty Avatar (that is what they're called right?)

Can I add one somehow? Or is it too late?

So what do you guys think? Why is Grandma Alice remodeling? Personally I think she just said that as an excuse to hide the fact that she's sick when Rory asked why she sounded "tired". Anyway I guess we'll find out soon enough. Take care and have a great day everyone, Kevin

I did and I stand by it. The point is each one of them was briefly willing to leave the other to go and help someone their boyfriend might be jealous of. It's true that Seth doesn't dislike Luke in the way that Rory dislikes Aaron, and there isn't actual history between Rory and Luke, but it's also true that Aaron's danger is more tangible and immediate than Luke's. Also Rory LIVES with Luke, it can't be easy for Seth knowing that his boyfriend is living with the really attractive (inside and out) gay guy. Remember Aaron's whole conversation with Rory about Luke being alot to compete with? Well he is, and it's only normal that people dating Rory would feel that way. My comparison also works because I feel both Rory and Seth made the right decision. Being in a relationship shouldn't mean you become completely insensitive to other people's feelings and situations. It's admirable that they're helping other people, and their jealous/insecure feelings are the problem they need to discuss NOT their actions. Angela called Seth in the middle of the day, as she does on as many days as not during the week. Aaron called Seth in the middle of the night, which he presumably isn't in the habit of doing. Seth simply ignored a "routine" phone call from someone because it wasn't convenient. Sure she MIGHT have needed something, but chances were it was just another typical call (as it was). It's much more alarming to get a call from anyone in the middle of the night, especially someone who doesn't call very often (I say this as a chronic worrier, I know I'm in much more of a rush to answer the phone if it rings at a weird time). Besides that for all we know he DID let the voicemail pick it up and when he found out what it was about decided to call back. I would like to think Seth WOULD call back under those circumstances. And as Ann pointed out the call might not have come from Aaron's number. Kevin (not James), may have lent Aaron his phone. That tends to be my viewpoint too. Though I guess it's possible his feelings "just developed". Exactly Yep, yep. Though I think I could see the Luke/Rory thing happening eventually, and might still want it depending on how it developed and what happened to Seth. Anyway take care everyone and have a great day! Kevin

I just remembered one of my all time favorite quotes when I was reading about Dom trying to pick a title for his new story. Here it is (my quote that is, not Dom's title): "A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken" ~it's from a british sci-fi series of the late 70's/early 80s, called Blake's 7. It was said by Cally in the episode "Mission to Destiny" ***takes off his geeky sci-fi aluminum hat*** Have an awesome day everyone and take care! Kevin

I loved the title "The Ordinary Us", and it is what got my attention at Nifty and ultimately brought me here. I thought it was very clever. Though personally I've never particularly wanted to be "ordinary" or "normal" per se. I've always preferred "odd", "unusual" or even "weird". LOL if I'd been in the story Jude would have had to say "Kevin, remember, you're odd". But I loved the title, and assumed it was ironic or satiric. "The Long Way" I also love. "The Log Way" not so much. It ended up being my favorite story, but I was hesitant at first to start it because it brought up connotations of lumberjacking, in fact for some reason I was convinced that Owen "moves in with his twin, lumberjack, brothers". I was just imagining them all wearing flannel and operating one of those two person saws. I was really quite relieved when I'd read the first few chapters and realized that unless something odd happened their wouldn't be any "logging" in the story at all. "Desert Dropping" is fun, though I admit I always do think "droppings", and then I just picture this big desert bird flying overhead and.....well you get the idea. Anyway "with trust" definitely sounds like something I'd want to read. I love stories and themes about trust. In fact if someone wants to get me to read or watch something a good way is to put "trust" in the title. Oh it's just reminded me of my favorite quote from an obscure 70s/80s sci-fi show. "A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken"......I think I'll go post that over in the quotes thread on the main forum. Uh anyway, I love titles with trust in them and you should pick that IMO. I like "the painting boy" ok, and would be intrigued by such a title. Personally I don't like "crash" at all. I generally dislike one word titles. Anyway have an awesome day and whatever you choose rest assured I'll read it! Take care Kevin

I think one of the main reasons I like doing stuff for myself, and all around being independent, is because growing up people always took care of everything for me. Don't get me wrong it was absolutely great, and I DID try to watch and learn for myself, but when it came down to it most of the time all I had to do was smile and say "please" and "thank you". See as I've mentioned in previous entries. I grew up an only child with my mom and grandparents. Well everyone knows how grandparents tend to "spoil" kids, and my mom was an older mom, and very attentive. So I did get quite a bit of attention. I don't really think I was "spoiled" because if there's one thing I always prided myself on it was being polite, friendly, pleasent, and generous. But I definitely got used to expecting good treatment from people. My friends were the same way. I don't know if I just had the personality of a kid who was used to being taken care or what, but most of them fell into the same pattern. I remember my first grade teacher saying to someone after he'd tied my shoes "well the reason Kevin never learns is because you all do it for him."....of course at the time I was a bit miffed that she was discouraging people from tying my shoe, but she probably had a point. In middle school I had a little "entourage" of friends and classmates who used to follow me around, laugh at all my jokes, etc. I really don't know why. I guess I was fairly entertaining. In High school it was much the same. I drove, but my friends usually just took me places because I was known for having a poor sense of direction, and not liking to drive. At parties they were always there to take care of me when I drank too much, and actually I seldom even had to worry about getting or paying for the alcohol, I just had to show up. I went on lots of fun trips with my closest friends. Most of the time people would take notes for me in class and I'd just xerox a copy, since I had such a lousy handwriting. And I clearly remember when we were about to graduate and I was talking about going to college somewhere else, my two best friends said to me "well you're going to have to live with us so we can look after you". Of course this makes me sound very selfish and helpless. Which I really wasn't. I was the one with the emotional/social skills who could make people feel better, cheer people up, or saying something funny. I also didn't have much of a sense of "property" my attitude with even my more casual friends was always "just help yourself to anything I have." And I always did quite well in school and often helped people with their homework, I was also good at "teaching" people in a way that they'd understand. And I was blessed to be part of a very nice group of people where most of the guys were very "fatherly" all into looking out for everyone, fixing stuff etc. and the girls were very "motherly", into taking care of everyone, and being supportive. Also in general I always attended friendly, nice schools. Oh there were cliques, and goodness knows alot of gossip, but pretty much anyone could go right over to any other group and just start talking to them without being harassed. Don't get me wrong, many people didn't like other people, but the reasons were usually personal, and mutural. In most cases, if you had enemies you'd made them yourself. Anyway the point of all this is that I didn't have a tough time as a "gay teen". Of course I wasn't out, and wouldn't have considered it. No, I liked everything quite the way it was thank you very much. But I didn't actually feel "isolated" or "uncomfortable". I was always pretty self-assured, and never gave a flying F%#@ about public opinion. If there was one thing I did learn from my mom, it was that society, religion, and politics were all far from perfect, and intelligent people had a responsibility to question accepted "facts" for themselves and decide if they made sense. And I did take an active stand against bigotry. My friends tended more toward racial intolerance, though sexual and every other type of intolerance in general were also common (I mean it was the deep south), but I was always the one who did the talking when we were around minorities, and frequently made it a point to remind them "be nice", "so it's not hurting you", or "there's nothing wrong with that". I also made it a point to get to know people who were "different", they were usually the most interesting, intelligent, and often loyal people anyway. People knew where I stood, and occasionally when they were mad my normal "clique" would say stuff like "YOUR friends" or "THOSE people you hang out with", but they didn't bother them. So as arrogant as it sounds I always pretty much figured if I was gay and society at large didn't like it.....then society was just stupid. Anyway I've been checking around, doing some research, and finding alot of sad facts and statistics. I've read some very sad stories about gay teens who ended up killing themselves. It's tragic. I hate how bad some people have it. I hate how bad some people on this site have had it. And I wonder; what can I do? SHOULD I continue with psychology and become a therapist and try to help people feel better emotionally, on an individual level? Or should I become a sociologist and help bring the issues to the forefront by doing and publishing studies. Maybe try to manipulate social thought into a more accepting atmosphere? Maybe I can help as a writer? Perhaps I could try to write something with large market appeal that would also portray homosexuality in a positive, sympathetic light? Also what can I do NOW? I don't have alot of free time, and I'm a little strapped for cash, but maybe I could do some volunteer work or something once or twice a week? I just don't really know. I'm not the activist sort of type. In reality I'd find it much too difficult to risk offending someone, even if it were for a good cause. I'm not blunt or outspoken. I'm not affriad to speak up, but I can't help trying to present everything in the "softest, least likely to offend" manner possible. And I'm the sort of person who would freak out if I did hurt someone's feelings. "oh my gosh, I've just upset the fundamentalist.".........probably doesn't make for the best "warrior", but if there was something I could do to just be supportive or helpful in general, that would be great. I don't know, does anyone have any ideas?