AFriendlyFace

Sounds like a good policy to me. Similar to the one I employ actually I think the best time to have sex is when both people feel ready and want to. I think that's true if they've been seeing each other for 5 minutes or 5 decades. When they're both ready and it will be a positive experience for both, then that is the time. The thing to remember of course is that precautions must be taken, no pressuring must occur, and both people must be comfortable with what's going on

You're right; that does make sense. Well, perhaps I don't hold dates in high enough esteem. I would say that would be more true of like special dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, that sort of thing. A typical sort of date though I think is different. In fact these are the sorts of things where I think it would be good for two of the three to spend time one on one. Of course all three together on a date makes sense too, but I don't think it should be like that every time.

Nah, I didn't start kissing until I came out of the closet A few cliche' but perhaps unorthodox places that I've kissed: a bathroom stall, on top of a pool table, in a car. Hmm, I think that's about it as far as salacious places go.

Welcome to the forum, Jerry!

I'm so sorry that happened to you LOL, on a complete side note - totally unrelated to issues of privacy or secrecy within a relationship - as someone who might be calling or texting one or both of you, I find that pretty annoying. Not that I myself would specifically be calling or texting either of you, but in general I don't like it when couples I'm friends with do this. One of my oldest and dearest friends used to have a girlfriend who would frequently answer her phone, log on to her AIM (this was way back in the day when I used to chat), and respond to her text messages. I hated that! It would drive me completely crazy. It's not that I didn't like her girlfriend, in fact now that they've been broken up for several years I have more nice things to say about her than she does, nor is it that I was trying to get my friend to keep secrets from her. It was simply that when I dialed my friend's number or messaged her screen name she was the one I wanted to communicate with. I have a couple of other lesbian friends with whom I'm equally close who also do this a little bit from time to time. It doesn't bother me as much since I have a close friendship with both and since in all honesty if I call one and don't get her I generally try the other one anyway, but nevertheless on a few occasions it has annoyed me. Occasionally I've felt specifically like having a conversation with one of them. Since I am friends with both, that means that I can't really immediately say, "oh hey, can you put her on the phone for me?" without first having a chat with the other one. I mean I can and it wouldn't be a problem, but it feels rude to me and makes me feel like I'm keeping secrets. Occasionally I want to text one of them in particular. It has nothing to do with privacy or secrets, it's just that my dynamic with each of them is different and the things I share with each of them is different. To me it kinda goes back to why I prefer cell phones so much over landlines. When you call a landline you never know who's going to answer. It could be anyone in the family. When you dial a cell phone you can reasonably expect that the person you wanted to speak to will be the one who answers. Personally, I like to know who I'm going to get when I make a phone call, or who's going to be reading my message when I send a text. Eh, I feel like I went off on a bit of ranty tangent there. I'm also not trying to specifically criticise what you and Dave do (in fact obviously I'm more annoyed by what my own friends do/have done ), I'm just saying that generally I don't like being the third party who means to communicate with one half of a couple and gets the other. Actually though, I think that brings up another point to this whole conversation that hasn't been explored very much. Is it right to go through a SO's phone/email/messages etc. from the standpoint of violating the privacy of the person communicating with them? If someone reads their boyfriend's text message that I sent isn't that violating my privacy as well? I try to respect that couples have a special sort of connection and share things with their partner, but there are a lot of personal things that I might confide in a close friend that I simply wouldn't want his boyfriend to know. I can think of tons of examples in my own personal life. I usually get along really well with my friends' boyfriends/girlfriends/family/other friends, but that doesn't mean I want a direct transmission of information to these people! There are a lot of things that I might want to share with my close friend of three years that I don't want him to discuss with his boyfriend of three months. If said boyfriend goes snooping then I feel like my privacy is being violated. Anyway, just some thoughts. Take care all -Kevin

I agree that labs are the coolest dogs! They're definitely my favourite. I will say that while I've never been a lady dog giving birth I'm pretty sure I'd want everyone to leave me the hell alone while I was doing it!

So I think these guys are not only really talented, but so frickin' hot it hurts! Check out this super sexy video (and the rest of their super sexy videos): Ross Dawson, the gorgeous red head, is my favourite, but let's face it; they're all delicious!

Hi all, It seems like recently there's been a lot of discussion around here regarding what constitutes successful relationship, so I thought it might be fun to create a poll on it. Obviously it's tempting to pick all or most of these choices and obviously they will be very inter-related, but which are the most important and best determinants? Which are just more or less side effects or incidental qualities? Are any of the choices completely irrelevant for a relationship? Obviously the poll will also reveal what the respondents value most in their own relationships. Just for the record, I did mean this poll to evaluate what is generally considered to be a "romantic relationship" (whether or not romance is a major aspect) and not a platonic, familial, or business relationship. I think I'd rather weigh in with my thoughts once the poll progresses a bit more. Have a great day all Kevin

Well said, Kit! I agreed with almost all of that! The only exception being that if people waited until they were older to have relationships they would have more reasonable expectations of them. I think that's partly true, but at the same time, I think that one of the things that makes people more realistic as they get older is the fact that they've had those learning experiences. To me it's sort of like the argument for raising the driving or drinking age. Yes, people are often more responsible once they're older, but at the same time experience plays a big role and one will always be inexperienced when they first start something regardless of age. That's exactly the point I had in mind! I quite agree with this as well!

Yay for your wow moments! Sounds really awesome, Jamie! I'm really happy for ya

Happy belated birthday Hope it was a good one!

Live for all eternity hands down! Would you rather be a circus clown or a mime.

Vampire Would you rather be given a new appliance of your choice or win a free weekend trip to a somewhat local destination of your choice.

Happy Birthday

Well for me, as I said in my earlier post, it's not about something being a 'secret' it's about my partner respecting my privacy. If he wants to know something then I want him to ask, I don't want him to snoop through my things. It's not that I'm hiding anything, it's simply that I would consider it disrespectful and evidence of a lack of trust on his part. In the first place he should trust me not to be doing anything that would purposely hurt him/us/me and in the second place he should trust me enough to talk to me about his feelings and concerns if he is worried about something. As for not keeping boundaries, I personally completely disagree. I think it's very healthy for some boundaries, as well as a strong individual identity, to remain for the people in a relationship.

Hmm, well, I think I'd most enjoy a relationship with two other gay guys and that's what I was mostly thinking of. However, failing that I was actually thinking it would be a relationship with a couple of girls. It hadn't occurred to me that it might be with a girl and a bi-guy, however, that might not be so bad at all. I disagree. I think it would need to be like Graeme said. Time spent by yourself, time spent with each of the other two people individually, and time spent with the other two people simultaneously. I'm very big on alone time, and also on one-on-one time. In fact I can do lots of things and spend lots of time with people in a group setting, and I can get really attached to them that way, but I definitely bond the best with people when it's just the two of us one-on-one. I love spending time alone with people I care about. I think the all three people together part would be very important too, but I definitely think there would need to be a good individual dynamic going with each person as well.

I got a kick out of that! Terrific pic, Jim, and welcome aboard! Aww adorable pics, Jamie! LOL, I still wanna see this boy's face though! I like it! Hot pics, Joe! BTW, your GM has a nice rack

Welcome to the site, Gary! You'll be able to start voting in polls once you've made 5 posts I hate to point this out, Jamie, but considering he was your roommate, isn't that a bit like rewarding him for his bad behaviour?

Born in Virginia, grew up in Louisiana, went to school in a different part of Louisiana, moved to Texas.

Just wanted to say that I think everything you've said in the above post is very insightful and accurate!

Ohh, darnit! I'm late! Happy Birthday, dude! I hope you had a fantastic day and may the coming year bring you all the happiness, peace, and fulfillment that you can handle! All the best, Kevin

I started coming out I guess about four years ago. It was more selective at first, but once I moved, about three years ago, I decided that I was just always going to be out. So I'm out to everyone now and just never "stay in" very long when I meet someone. Of course I mostly socialize in the GLBT/Ally community anyway, so it's usually just assumed. I'm also out at work though. For me, being out is pretty much a requirement I have for my life. I would not be willing to work or socialize with people if I had to be in the closet. I would find it far too uncomfortable. I also personally feel like being out is something I can do to benefit the gay community. Take care all Kevin

Adorable kitties, James! Wow! I can't believe she's already 3! I remember when you posted her baby pics! Anyway, she's as lovely as always. He's so cute! My goodness! What lovely parents you have, Frosty! Your dad has the shiniest coat! Awwww, Marbles reminds me of a cat we had when I was growing up That's an awesome pic! He looks so sweet in it. I'll have to round up a picture of my girl, Lucky. She's terrific. I'm pretty sure she's the best cat in the world I partly gauge what kind of people my boyfriends are on whether or not they like her. Of course it goes without saying that she'll like them; she's never met a person or other cat/dog that she didn't like -Kevin

Great topic, Jamie I have some thoughts. Of course it could work, and of course there wouldn't be anything wrong with it if it's what all three people wanted. Personally speaking, I wouldn't enter a threeway relationship, at least I don't have any plans to, but at the same time I think I'm actually a fairly good candidate. I'm not really jealous at all. I do great by myself or with others, and I'm happy for other people I care about having fun and doing things, even if I can't be there. I also already love so many people, and if I wanted to I'm sure I wouldn't have any problem integrating sex, dating, and relationship stuff into the mix. So I'd actually probably be pretty comfortable with it. I wouldn't enter such a relationship though because I think the main issue would just be staying together as life and our different goals, opportunities, and objectives tried to tear us apart. Think how hard it is for just two people to stay together when one of them needs to change jobs or schools. Think about how hard it is to negotiate issues like children, money/budgets, where to live, and all the other relationship responsibilities. Honestly, I think just doing that fairly with one other person is hard enough. I can't personally see being able to make it work with two other people. A good example is something that happened just a few days ago. I was with three of my closest friends, whom I love and care about very much, and I was happy and we were having fun, but we had a ridiculously difficult time deciding where to eat, where to go afterward, and generally what we were going to be doing for the evening. Usually only two of us could agree. At best we had three people agreeing (usually with one only lukewarm) and the other person disinclined to go with the option presented. I think it would be very hard to negotiate day to day events with all three people in the relationship such that each is happy with the choices and decisions. I think when more is at stake, as it would be in a relationship, it would be even harder and more stressful. So I wouldn't personally enter a threeway relationship because I think while it could definitely work in terms of the emotional fulfillment of everyone involved, and probably for the sexual/physical fulfillment as well, I think the simple practical stuff would be way too difficult. I suppose if all three people are in a very settled place in their lives and have similar life plans and objectives it might be feasible. -Kevin

I think this is because she secretly only has one song that she pretends to sing in different ways I know! What the hell is up with our crazy Texas weather?! I'm in sandals one minute and a hoodie the next :wacko: