AFriendlyFace

That doesn't sound irrational to me That's very creative!

We had a "Condoms Galore" here for awhile, but I think it closed.

YAY! Welcome to the forum, Estevan! Too Late? NO WAY! The Domaholics are staging a resurgence! Isn't that right, General Vic? -Kevin

Finally, a man with sense! I was starting to get overwhelmed by all these laundrophiles/dishphobes!

It's Raining Men all the way! I think I'm going to rip off the roof and stay in bed!

I agree with you both. I definitely think it's better that there is the option of ending an unhappy, miserable relationship, but I think that's very clearly part of the reason why relationships might be prone to end. I think the though that the "option" of being able to relatively end a relationship does frequently lead to the dissolution of a partnership which might have "bounced back" and ultimately continued to be a positive experience for both parties. The tricky thing is being able to tell when it's best to end a relationship and when it's best to "fight" for its survival. I don't think that the distinguishing factors are necessarily related to the degree of affection and love or even the general "health" of the relationship. I think it's more about honestly looking at what each person needs and wants and what the other is able and willing to provide (without making unreasonable concessions of their own needs and wants). I have a friend who broke up with his serious boyfriend of several years. They still loved each other (and still do), they had remained fateful to each other, and they were still even mostly getting along. The reason they broke up was because their relationship had become more of a familiar habit, and more of a close friendship than a romantic relationship. In general I don't think that's necessarily a problem. I think a lot of romantic relationships go in that direction and I think that very often that sort of relationship continues to be satisfying and pleasant for the people involved. In this case though, they also saw themselves heading in different directions in life in general. They had different goals. They also realized that at this point in their lives they still wanted the romance. So, they broke up in a very amicable, loving, supportive way and each went in his own direction. I'm not sure what happened to the other guy (last I heard he was doing okay), but my friend is very happy and has found a new relationship (actually now it's been going on for several months) that has components he needed and is still also quite affectionate, happy, and calm. I think this is a good example of when it's better to "warmly" end things and keep each other as relatively untainted loved ones and allies, than to drag things out and have the relationship grow very bitter or cold as the resentment and hopelessness grows. Conversely, I have friends with less than completely harmonious relationships that still essentially "work" and are better options for the people involved than breaking up would be. As I said, I think the important thing is being able to look at the relationship honestly and to act with the courage and determination to do what needs to be done in the best interest of both people, be that fighting hard to make the relationship work, or realizing that it's run its course and that it's time to let go. Just my thoughts Kevin

I hope you can work it out I completely agree! Eventually I want to be in a serious, long-term relationship, and if the right thing comes along I'm willing and ready, but for now I'm quite happy being by myself or dating casually. I've had my share of exes and I have to say that the general emotion I most often felt when the relationships ended was relief. Obviously, I took this to mean that either the relationships weren't right and/or I simply wasn't ready or wasn't really wanting it. I think entering a relationship you don't really want is a terrible mistake. I'm so sorry to hear that Take care and good luck! That is really inspiring! Good for you guys I think Vic brings up an excellent point! I don't think the success of a relationship can necessarily be measured by longevity alone. A five year relationship that is very happy, brings both the people what they need, and allows them to grow into stronger, healthier, better-adjusted people, is much better than a twenty year relationship that sucks the life out of each partner and leaves them jaded and bitter. well said, Dan! That definitely sounds like the key to a healthy, happy relationship to me. That's awesome! I'm so glad for you guys Take care all, -Kevin

Personally, I really think taking out the trash should have been on the list! I can't stand doing that! What's worse though, but is of course only applicable to cat owners, is cleaning the litter box! You think cleaning the human bathroom is bad, wait till you check out the feline one

Thanks, CJ! I'm very flattered LOL, it seems to me that being a stripper is far to risque business to not have a cover of some sort

Happy Birthday, dude!

LOL, yes I am. But on the bright side I have people with whom I do most of those things anyway. I just don't have one particular person whom I do them all with. In reality, expecting to share all those things with anyone person probably isn't very realistic anyway. I'm quite happy single, and not all that eager to shake things up. If the right person came along that I meshed well with and with whom I could share most of the important things on my list, then I'd certainly pursue that, but in the meantime I'm much happier on my own than in an unsatisfying relationship. -Kevin

I did say there might always be exceptions, lol You know, I can actually respect that. I don't quite understand it directly myself though, but I can respect it. Actually I usually find it very difficult to have any respect for gender roles. So you phrased that in a really good way! I was with you through the shopping and sitting with your girlfriends in the kitchen...but then you sorta lost me I want a boyfriend I can go shopping with; then later we can go rollerblading. I want a guy with whom I can just sit with while we discuss our thoughts and feelings; then we can hit the batting cages. I want a boy I can get a manicure with; then we can go rock climbing (okay, maybe we should get the manicures after the rock climbing ). I'll be happy to change his flat tire if he'll take out the trash. I'll cook dinner if he does the laundry. We can take turns cleaning the bathroom. We can have a lot of sex and a lot of cuddling. I'll pay for dinner and he can get the tickets. He can do all the driving when we're together. If anyone ever gives us any crap I'll tell them off or kick their ass (even though I'm a pacifist). I'll keep things tidy and organized around the house. He can do all the vacuuming and dusting. That's sorta what I'm after. Very good point. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's also a very good point, Billy! There's nothing sexier than confidence or people just being themselves Take care all Kevin

Oh no, Nicholas, I'm so sorry! I'm with Verm and SRevol on this one. Time and space are your friends (not to mention a sci-fi writer's plot devices). I know it sucks and hurts like hell waiting, wanting to fix it and not being able to, and generally freaking out about the whole thing, but seriously don't push too hard. I obviously don't know the situation as well as you do, but I do see a few things going on. Drew is reeling from a breakup with someone he cares about. He isn't over her. He just had sex with his best friend. His best friend is in love with him. Drew's kinda got a lot on his plate right now. You mentioned how much it sucks not being able to talk to your best friend about this, and I know that does suck big time But think about how he likely feels not being able to talk to either of the two people he's closet to. Obviously you know the situation better than I do or ever could, and please don't take my advice if you think it's crappy for your situation, but I think the easiest way to keep his friendship would be to give him about a week or so without any form of contact, and then shoot him the most casual, easy going text message you can come up with. Just sort of a "Hi, whatcha up to, dude?" Or better yet, just casually start talking about something relatively minor going on in your life, "Man, my boss is in the worst mood today. What have you been up to anyway?" What you guys' friendship has going for it is that it's old, familiar, comfortable, and all around easy. It shouldn't be too hard to fall back into it once the feelings aren't as fresh. I think Mark's got a good point here. I personally like talking about my feelings. If I'm having an issue with someone and they ask me that it feels like a relief and I welcome it. However, I'm not like most other guys in this regard. I once wrecked a friendship by pressing a close friend to open up about his feelings. You know what finally fixed the situation? A year of barely talking combined with the fact that we genuinely liked and respected each other. Don't let that happen to you, give him some space and some time to work stuff out. Just stay receptive and supportive and of course accept any approach he makes. Naturally you don't leave it for too long before you try to contact him again, but I'd suggest giving it at least a week. Just my advice though, please don't take it if it doesn't seem to apply to you, him, and the situation. Take care and good luck, Kevin

That does really awesome and beautiful! That does sound amusing! Poor dog. I would like experience these cliches. I bet they are really fun. Thanks, that's good advice.

Interesting topic, Mark! Of course everyone knows that I don't have much to say on this issue In all honesty though, the poll is difficult for me to answer because I personally have a strong preference for a sort of 'versatility', middle of the road, not too femme, not too butch sort of guy. So I'd personally have preferred some sort of middle or "other" option. However, I gave the poll a shot anyway: Which type of guy are you most attracted to? In terms of looks most definitely "effeminate." I'd describe it more as the pretty boy, twinkish sort of look. I like guys who have a smaller build (height and weight), smooth, soft looking skin, and are lightly muscled or "toned". I prefer guys with longer hair, not long like shoulder length, but more like the plenty of full bangs sort of look. I'm fairly flexible on all this though. That's really only physically though. My preference for personality in terms of someone I'm dating is definitely for them to be well-balanced and middle of the road. Romantically I prefer guys who aren't "big queens" (just romantically, I'm fine with "big queens" in general), but who are obviously gay. Actually, I have the delightful benefit of almost exclusively being attracted to gay guys. Very few straight guys do anything for me, unless they are the really pretty type and have a very chill, non-butch, emotive type of personality. I could fall for a pretty looking, straight hippie/surfer/emo type but that's about it. As I've said many times before, I like "masculine" gay guys just fine, but I'm usually not interested in them romantically. Ideally my type is the twink with the balance in personality. Failing this balanced boy, I'd lean slightly toward effeminate over masculine for my boyfriend. That's not to say I couldn't date a "masculine" gay guy under the right circumstances...it's just more unlikely and he'd have to be very open-minded and willing to balance our roles in the relationship. Would you invite and effeminate man to dinner with your family? Of course. I'd also invite a masculine gay. I'd invite anyone I cared about and wanted to introduce. What type of guy are you? The versatile, middle of the road type. I always like to embrace the best of each and discard the worst (which is of course just my opinion about what is good and what is bad in each). So it's really hard for me to pick one or the other for myself. It completely depends on what we're talking about, and even in most specific areas I prefer a mixed, go with the flow, let's see where I end up sort of approach. One of my main obstacles in dating is that I frequently find myself annoyed by being locked into a role. I flipflop alot between "I don't need you to look after me. Don't you dare control me, even in a nice way. Let me help you and quit being such a tough guy." to "make me feel special and pretty!" I dunno, it's almost impossible to pick. In the absence of a total balance and assuming the disparity is only slight, I'm more comfortable relating to others from a slightly more masculine perspective; however, by myself, just me in my head, probably slightly more feminine (or effeminate for the sake of this poll ). Told you guys, I didn't have much to say about this -Kevin

Oh no! I had heard nothing of this! How terrible

Wooo HOOO! Happy Birthday, Nick!! I hope you're having a fantastic day and may the coming year bring you all the peace and happiness that life has to offer -Kevin

Yep, that's Bodega Bay by our very own Nickolas James! A terrific story from a very talented writer! You should drop by his forum too if you get a chance and tell him how much you liked it Take care, Kevin

Congrats, dude

Tim and Kit have both offered some excellent advice. I would say let the story choose. Whenever you feel compelled to work on one of them, go for it! After awhile you'll probably notice that one or two are further along than the others. At that point do try to focus primarily on those. Just my advice. I would also recommend that you do what feels right for you. Odds are high that Tim, Kit, and I all approach writing in at least a slightly, if not very, different way. The same can probably be said about every other author here with regards to everyone else. The real trick is knowing what works best for you. I also happen to agree with Tim and Kit's voting selections as well, and also picked 2 and 4. Of those I'm slightly more interested in 4. Take care and good luck Kevin

Another smaller scam involves shipping and moving fees. If you've ever tried to sell anything online you'll get a random, poorly written, email from someone offering you a better bid than you received from anyone else or expected to receive. They'll then go on to say that they've already got a shipping/moving company all lined up and will pay for shipping, but they want to avoid the extra fees involved with doing a second transfer (or there'll be some other excuse) so they'll send the agreed upon amount plus the shipping and moving fee, and you are to then send just the moving fee off to another account, presumably the person/company responsible for handling the shipping/moving. Naturally if you do this you'll wind up being out the shipping and moving amount and the other funds won't clear. Usually they will be quite far away and try this scam on a large object so that the fees are understandably high. Often the fact that they are far away also helps "explain" why they have to use this particular company (there's a local branch in their city, or they couldn't do foot research in your city so they had to take what they could get, etc). On another note, at first I thought this thread said "Beware of Freud." Naturally as someone with a background in psychology this piqued my interest. -Kevin

I just wanted to wish Niels a fantastic and happy 21st birthday! Have a great one! -Kevin

Have a very awesome and special birthday, Tiff! -Kevin

Wooo HOOO! Welcome to the board, Lisa! Have a fantastic day! Kevin