AFriendlyFace

Oh crud! I just read a spoiler (My fault of course)

Well, happy birthday, Drewe!

Have a very happy and spacial birthday, Billy! -Kevin

Have a very happy birthday!

Have an awesome birthday, Frosty! -Kevin

Hmm, the only incident I can remember happened about a year ago. I was walking downtown with a friend and this car passed with about four guys in it. As they were passing they rolled down the window and shouted "Fags!" It was windy and I hadn't even understood them, nor was I sure they were even talking to us. So I asked my friend what they'd said. After he told me, I shouted "F- off" at the back of their car, but they were already a block or so down the road, so I'm not sure if they even heard me. So that's not really much of an experience, but my response was to react aggressively in kind. I think a lot of it is posturing. I've been told several times that I have a confident, "don't mess with me" walk and stance, so I suppose that's why I haven't had very many problems in the past. On a few occasions I've gotten the impression that someone was thinking something derogatory, or snickering about something, but I've found that in almost all such circumstances, just catching their eye and giving them a questioning/challenging look is enough to make them become uncomfortable and stop. Of course that's in public, "social" places where people are less inclined to want to make a big scene. I suppose I would behave aggressively, in self-defense, in most such circumstances. I'm fairly confident in my ability to verbally go tit for tat with someone, and if they did decide to take it to the physical level I'd give 'em hell right back unless I was outnumbered or they were armed or something. Anyway, I think it's important to avoid violence, but I think it's equally important to act like you can and will hold your own, and then do so if it does become necessary. Just my thoughts -Kevin

I'm crazy about Canada! I've only ever had nice things to say about Canada and Canadians Everyone I know from Canada is really sweet and awesome, and from what I know of Canada's cultural, political, and social landscape I really approve. I've always joked that I wanted to die in Canada some day. It does seem like a really wonderful, peaceful place with a great attitude, and I definitely think I'd appreciate that as I got older. I'm hoping to live all over and go on lots of 'adventures', but Canada may actually be top of my list of foreign places to check out and settle down in. The only thing that might stop me is because over the past several years I've become aware of how much the weather can impact my mood. I'd probably do better somewhere that was sunny and warm for most of the year. Anyway, I'm definitely a big fan of Canada! -Kevin BTW, speaking of cool shows filmed in Canada, let's not forget about QAF which was filmed in Toronto.

Hmm, that all does make a lot of sense, Celia Well, I suppose I do have a lot of criteria for an "ideal relationship," but I know I can't necessarily have everything. I suppose I just need to work out the absolute most important things and compromise on the rest. I like to think I'm decent at compromising, but if I'm honest with myself, I can probably see where there's a lot of room for improvement. For example, despite being a fairly social person I'm also quite happy as a loner. I think that makes me prone to saying, "well, you go do your thing and I'll go do mine." I'm happy with that, but I suppose it isn't necessarily the most conducive attitude to compromising and finding activities we both enjoy. This thread definitely has given me some things to think about -Kevin

Sorry, I cross-posted with Celia That's exactly what's happened to me to an extreme degree in this one relationship I had. He just would not give his opinion, desire, or preference. After a while I gave up asking and just told him exactly what to do all the time. He was very cute, and it was really fun always getting my way without any complaints or resistance, but ultimately I felt like I dictator and I didn't like that one bit. I think I'm better off without an overly shy person. It's true that I'll "take the lead" and do the talking in social situations or in general "balance things out" as people like to say, but I really don't want that at all. I might be quite out-going and extroverted at times, but I'm also quite introverted and like being quiet. Furthermore, I think that ideally we could both enjoy being very out-going, or very quiet at the same time sometimes. Eh, I need a very balanced person to be happy. I'm not too into the whole concept of being "complimentary" to each other. I definitely don't want to do the whole "I'm out-going, you're shy" thing. What I am very willing and happy to do is, "I'm out-going in some areas, at some times and you can be quieter then." And "I'm quiet in some areas, at some times, and you can be more out-going then." That would be really nice, and I'd like that across the board on pretty much all traits, but I definitely don't want us to be "all the time opposites" in any areas.

I find this poll completely annoying! I hate the concept of power differences in interpersonal relationships, especially romantic partnerships. I always say that the whole 'reason I'm gay' is so that I can be in a completely equal relationship without worrying about damn (gender) roles. That being said, I'm certainly not perfect, and the truth is that I'm kinda used to getting my way My ideal relationship is undoubtedly the equal, 50-50 sort, but looking back over my past relationships there's no doubt that I've tended to take the lead. I seem to unconsciously find myself in the lead despite consciously trying to keep things equal. I suppose it's because I tend to notice if someone tells me what to do, and I don't tend to stand for it. On the other hand, I'm rather opinionated and I tend to speak up (which I don't notice quite as much ), so that's probably how it happens. I will say that I disagree with the whole "whoever is driving the car is symbolically driving the relationship" notion. I suppose that's very often true for relationships, but personally speaking I dislike driving when I'm with other people. In fact one of my main little wants in a relationship is that he does all the driving when we're together (that's not to say I won't tell him where to go or how to get there ). I'll also add that I find it very annoying when people completely abdicate being a part of the decision making process and then bitch about what I picked. I have a friend who is very picky, yet always tries to get other people to make the decisions. Invariably he's never happy with what the other person decides (he does it a lot with me, but I've watched him do it countless times with many other people as well). He really needs to just speak up! -Kevin

I know I've expressed surprise at this before, but I just can't believe how many of you despise the dishes so much! LOL, of course it's your prerogative and your own taste, and in many ways I'm glad since that means that my own easy-goingness about them will probably be in demand, but it's still a surprise! On many occasions in the past I've volunteered to help my friends clean up their places for various occasions or just general maintenance (and I guess I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time ). I always head straight for the kitchen on such occasions! With a few of my friends whom I visit very often, I frequently start idly doing dishes while I'm waiting for them to get ready.

Yay! I can't wait to go read it! LOL, but I'll have to since I have to get back to work soon

I'd just like to say how very honoured and delighted I am to have received a Readers' Choice Award. It means a lot to me and I'm very flattered Congrats to everyone who won! Also, thanks very much to Sharon and Kurt and the rest of the WST for all the work they put into the awards, to CJ for doing such an amazing job with the awards graphics, and of course to all the readers! -Kevin

That doesn't sound irrational to me That's very creative!

We had a "Condoms Galore" here for awhile, but I think it closed.

Good luck with the move, Davey.

YAY! Welcome to the forum, Estevan! Too Late? NO WAY! The Domaholics are staging a resurgence! Isn't that right, General Vic? -Kevin

Finally, a man with sense! I was starting to get overwhelmed by all these laundrophiles/dishphobes!

It's Raining Men all the way! I think I'm going to rip off the roof and stay in bed!

I agree with you both. I definitely think it's better that there is the option of ending an unhappy, miserable relationship, but I think that's very clearly part of the reason why relationships might be prone to end. I think the though that the "option" of being able to relatively end a relationship does frequently lead to the dissolution of a partnership which might have "bounced back" and ultimately continued to be a positive experience for both parties. The tricky thing is being able to tell when it's best to end a relationship and when it's best to "fight" for its survival. I don't think that the distinguishing factors are necessarily related to the degree of affection and love or even the general "health" of the relationship. I think it's more about honestly looking at what each person needs and wants and what the other is able and willing to provide (without making unreasonable concessions of their own needs and wants). I have a friend who broke up with his serious boyfriend of several years. They still loved each other (and still do), they had remained fateful to each other, and they were still even mostly getting along. The reason they broke up was because their relationship had become more of a familiar habit, and more of a close friendship than a romantic relationship. In general I don't think that's necessarily a problem. I think a lot of romantic relationships go in that direction and I think that very often that sort of relationship continues to be satisfying and pleasant for the people involved. In this case though, they also saw themselves heading in different directions in life in general. They had different goals. They also realized that at this point in their lives they still wanted the romance. So, they broke up in a very amicable, loving, supportive way and each went in his own direction. I'm not sure what happened to the other guy (last I heard he was doing okay), but my friend is very happy and has found a new relationship (actually now it's been going on for several months) that has components he needed and is still also quite affectionate, happy, and calm. I think this is a good example of when it's better to "warmly" end things and keep each other as relatively untainted loved ones and allies, than to drag things out and have the relationship grow very bitter or cold as the resentment and hopelessness grows. Conversely, I have friends with less than completely harmonious relationships that still essentially "work" and are better options for the people involved than breaking up would be. As I said, I think the important thing is being able to look at the relationship honestly and to act with the courage and determination to do what needs to be done in the best interest of both people, be that fighting hard to make the relationship work, or realizing that it's run its course and that it's time to let go. Just my thoughts Kevin

Vance thinks so too!

I hope you can work it out I completely agree! Eventually I want to be in a serious, long-term relationship, and if the right thing comes along I'm willing and ready, but for now I'm quite happy being by myself or dating casually. I've had my share of exes and I have to say that the general emotion I most often felt when the relationships ended was relief. Obviously, I took this to mean that either the relationships weren't right and/or I simply wasn't ready or wasn't really wanting it. I think entering a relationship you don't really want is a terrible mistake. I'm so sorry to hear that Take care and good luck! That is really inspiring! Good for you guys I think Vic brings up an excellent point! I don't think the success of a relationship can necessarily be measured by longevity alone. A five year relationship that is very happy, brings both the people what they need, and allows them to grow into stronger, healthier, better-adjusted people, is much better than a twenty year relationship that sucks the life out of each partner and leaves them jaded and bitter. well said, Dan! That definitely sounds like the key to a healthy, happy relationship to me. That's awesome! I'm so glad for you guys Take care all, -Kevin

Personally, I really think taking out the trash should have been on the list! I can't stand doing that! What's worse though, but is of course only applicable to cat owners, is cleaning the litter box! You think cleaning the human bathroom is bad, wait till you check out the feline one

Thanks, CJ! I'm very flattered LOL, it seems to me that being a stripper is far to risque business to not have a cover of some sort

This makes a lot of sense and I completely agree! Err, but so does this :wacko: Perhaps, for me, it's a matter of figuring out a good way to balance the two. I personally tend to be a very extreme sort of writer. I'll either spend hours, or the entire day, doing nothing but plugging away writing and I'll do that for weeks, or else I won't write a word for months. I think getting started is the hardest part. For me it's not so much starting to write once I've decided to write, it's deciding to write in the first place. Once I've actually got my story open and I'm committed to writing it, I can usually do it pretty easily. It's getting to the point of opening it and deciding to write that's hardest for me. Of course I'm like that with most things. I never have any trouble actually sleeping, but I have a really hard time deciding to go to bed. I don't mind being at work, but I hate going. I love spending time with friends and family, but I hate actually getting out to do it. Pretty much every activity in my life is fun and easy once I get started - working, socializing with friends, making dinner, going out, going on trips, etc. - but I rarely ever actually want to go do those things until I'm doing them. I have no trouble whatsoever working up enthusiasm and finding enjoyment in whatever it is I'm doing. I usually have a great time and throw myself into it with a zest. However, I do have a really tough time "looking forward to things." I very much live in the moment in that way. So when it comes to writing it, unless I'm already writing, I probably won't want to.