Sara Alva

I got slimed once. Surprisingly, it tasted like oranges.

I had no idea how a gourd grew. Very interesting. Man, if I wrote this... there isn't much I could write about w/o doing some research

Um... I have a guess but I'm not gonna say in case I'm horribly wrong lol

Wow, I haven't thought about these shows in ages! Will be neat to see them again.

I'm in west LA. If people told me what they were looking for, I could help out.

Um, yeah, I live here, so ....

Thanks Sam, Jian (didn't you tell me that already? lol). Thanks Jen ...I'm sure no one would start running if you sang

**giggles** I remember you telling someone to read this once. Anyways, I've been liking short stories lately...even though I can't seem to write one myself...so I thought I'd read another one instead. The line Maria picked had me cracking up, too. And some of my best friends really *are* bastards Why does Trey remind me of you? Hmm... And they didn't get busted for the condoms?

Thank you Haha. Thanks. Cool screnname, btw

The gum bit was funny, hehe. So this sorta feels like ... a victorian novel set in modern day. I keep telling you you're doing tricky stuff...because you are It's fine if that's the style you're going for ...and it's fine if your MC talks ornately --it certainly makes him quirky --but the rest of the characters wouldn't, would they? I guess as a reader I'm okay with following your character's florid thoughts, but I'd expect the other characters to maybe ...poke fun of him when he speaks out loud that way. But of course, this is fiction, and you can create any sort of world you wish w/ it. As for the little grammatical snafus...my advice would be to make your sentences shorter so you don't lose sight of the sentence structure...but that might not fit w/ your style. Tricky, tricky

Well the original stories were relevant to the times they were written in as well. I know what you mean about the modernizing thing, and generally changes to canon annoy me, but they're just doing what they can to survive and draw in a new audience.

Hehe. Thanks!

Marvel. Marvel has always felt... grittier to me.

An orchestral (or band ) flash mob???? So awesome! I wanna be in one of these.

Hehe. I told you you were attempting something difficult I did have to go back to the prologue to get my bearings when you had that little jump forward, as I didn't really think of the prologue as being connected to the first chapter (until I got down to the end). I've been trying to think about what could make these little out-of-sequence jumps clearer to the reader . . . besides a formatting change . . . maybe you could try a tense change? BTW these suggestions of mine are pure conjecture, as I've never written anything like this before So the tenses...you have a bit of switching here and there between past and present (w/i a sentence or paragraph), which I don't believe was intentional, so you might need to go back and do some editing. Anyways, my (probably somewhat crazy) thought is that you could have the "now" events in present tense (so, the prologue, and when the MC gets back to wondering about the business card) and the other bits in past. Again, I don't exactly know how it would all work out, but it's an idea, and it might help readers get the "flow." 'Course I might read on and see that won't work out...but it popped into my head so I just thought I'd share.

Favorite Super Heroes: Pretty much all the x-men Superman...but I didn't like that new movie Favorite Villains: Gonna go w/ Lacey and say Magneto. He might be the least evil of all the evil villains, but his story is quite compelling, and I love that he had a reason (besides insanity, lol) for his evilness

Thank you Nil for taking the time to write such a thoughtful review. I'm very pleased you liked my first novel, though I'm sorry I ruined your sleep! The character growth was the main thrust of the story, along with (hopefully) defying cliches, so I'm very happy if that came across through the writing. As for the sex scenes . . . I did try to portray them with a "light touch." The first one in particular is important to show Connor's state of mind and his personal issues . . . and because it is a reality that college-aged students face. However, my natural inclination is actually to "fade to black" . . . but when I did that in chapter 9 or 10, there was a public outcry in my reviews and my thread Turns out some people DO want the graphic details. I'd have no problem toning it down, though, if someone were ever knocking on my door with a yen to publish Again, thank you for reading and for taking the time to review. I truly appreciate it.

Hehe

Okay I had a feeling this was going to make me sad...but Cia's right, it's a good reminder. There are times when as a teacher I really have to take this to heart, b/c the kids I work w/ have so much going on in their lives...I have to put aside my daily grind and all the prepare-for-the-test pressure and remember to take the time to listen to what they need. Good story.

Mean? Hey, if someone thinks of a plot line that isn't dull, I'll do a sequel I guess artistic jargon only holds meaning for some, but when you're trying to explain something, you reach for anything you've got Thank you so much for the kind review . . . I'm so glad to hear the story affected you in a positive way.

Very touching. Thanks for sharing. Sorry I suck at commenting on poetry, but I really thought this was very well done.

Your poetry is making me start to like poetry-- and that's sayin' something. This was dark and lonely, and it evoked strong emotions . . . so IMHO, it was quiet well done.

Jian this was just beautifully written. I know some people don't go for the sweet, happy endings, but when the journey there is real and hard, they have more meaning and are more of a catharsis for the reader. Anyways, you've got real talent! Two thumbs up-- more if I had more hands

Oh, this was fun! It's funny-- seems like you and I had a bit of a similar muse inspiring us The ending was just great! I'm a fan of the 'lighter touch'.

Very mysterious and dark, yet not depressing. A nice change of pace for me to read. Thanks!