This discussion has gone a long way from the original post, but that's not a bad thing.
IMO, the whole issue of gender and gender identity is a backlash resulting from behavioral expectations based upon primary sexual characteristics. It's led to a lot of research trying to correlate plumbing with personality traits, with indeterminate results.
No normal childhood is lived in a vacuum. Society's expectations will always be present. Some are good for society, e.g., murder is bad. Some serve to make sense of the world in which we live. Accepting things on their own terms takes more brain cells than seeing a person in a frilly pink dress and assuming that person is biologically female. Or knowing what's between somebody's legs leads us to expect the person to act in a particular way. I think learning this as a child is a useful life skill, just as learning what those expectations are is useful.
Knowing that wearing a dress will cause a stir, while wearing jeans will not, enables me to avoid making a stir, or to make a statement, as I choose (although I'd look a lot worse in a dress).
Raising a child in a gender-neutral environment doesn't seem as beneficial to me as raising a child to understand expectations, occasionally making choices that fly in the face of those expectations, and learning to deal with the effects of those choices. The first seems to deny reality; the second teaches coping skills. If a little girl wants a GI Joe, I think that's fine, but at some point, I hope the parents would explain to the girl that some people don't think a girl should play with that toy, and might make comments, but that the comments really don't matter.
Although I've said the word choices, I believe we're each driven by our own nature to express our lives in our own way. As sexual attraction is not a choice, gender identity is not a choice.
Life's always going to be a challenge. Since joining GA, I've talked with a few transgendered folks, cross-dressers, and other defiers of the norm. They've helped me accept and appreciate what I discover, instead of anticipating and expecting.