Jammi

My song is Looks Like We Made it By Barry manilow

wow i thought it was about time i commented here. that was a powerful chapter very intense. i know that had to be hard for cooper to do. poor cj, he took that really hard as i figured he would. and cooper is feeling some kind of way....great chapter glad you're back and rolling~ can we see more kyle maybe soon ?

and fiercely protective Andy surfaces again. I think this is being paced nicely, and i feel like we're getting to know the characters slowly which is nice. Looks like things are starting to get interesting here, with the case Judge collins was dealing with, and now andy's threat to JT, and JT's obvious use of slurs in front of the principal looks like father and son are cut from the same cloth. can't wait to see what happens next

I had a feeling they'd get caught by roger lol. seems to be their lot. this is going really well i like it. Andy and Joey are cute together.

firstly i love snow patrol and chasing cars secondly, glad things worked out for Joey and he has a new place to live. its good to see tolerant folks in within a society (biblebelt) that isn't always so. I feel like you're learning the ropes with each chapter here. there is a lot of depth to this story andy is a great guy and his dad is pretty awesome too

this was a good chapter. i felt in some places like it dragged, but overall it created great progression for the story. I like judge collins, guess we should be thankful he's a good guy lol. He wields a lot of power in his town i see. the bit with Joey and Andy admitting their feelings was nice. "you had me at hello" favorite line from jerry maguire lol...perfectly used here. Pastor adams is either stupid or just that deep in his hatred. He didn't even attempt to save face, not that i think he would have succeeded had he tried. I'm curious what happened to convince andy's parents to create the alpha system hmmmm nice read!

wow, i knew Joey was being abused but just wow that is insane. I don't even know who i am more upset with. Eddie for taking advantage of him, The dad for beating him profusely for no reason or the freakin mother for standing back and LETTING it happen. it is very sad that there really truly are people like this in the world still today, very sad and quite frightening. Poor Joey, i am glad he has Andy and Judge collins in his corner. uh oh looks like the pastor is on the warpath i hope the good judge will have a few choice words for pastor adams. that man needs to go sit down somewhere. I just want to hug joey

Yikes, like neph i think i can make a pretty good guess what happened to Joey. but then this story is just the right pace for good twists and such so i will continue my intent to catch up. I think Andy is developing nicely, i like his dad too, he seems like a great guy. can't wait to read more i'm enjoying this

Happy birthday Jack. hope your day has been good

I like the pace of this. it is quick and steady. I'm liking Andy, and i wonder what's up with Joey. I have a bad feeling about his home life it concerns me. the principal's reaction was really cool.

way to go andy! sticking up for Joey like that. i can only guess what the principal wants. looks like they could be in trouble. this is really good so far

I think i already like Andy. the narrative here is very nicely done, very fresh and realistic. the tone is great and i feel like i really am seeing things through Andy's eyes. can't wait to continue with the next chapter. i think this will be a great story good job!

Andy I finally got to finish reading this and i must say i enjoyed it. First off, i actually enjoyed the legalize lol. I figured it was appropriate since you were telling the story from the pov of the prosecution. I feel like i learned a lot from reading this as to how to do a trial. For example i didn't know victims were allowed to give a statement before sentencing i will have to keep that in mind back to you though, i am glad that Jordan got what he deserved, especially since he tried to lie his way out of it. Glad to see Pete and Jason are doing well too. My only complaint is that i wish there had been more Jase and pete. i definitely enjoyed them in second shot and its sad to see the story come to an end. Its rewarding though too and i think you should be proud. thanks for the great story

I really like this it's such a simplistic beautiful start. Josh seems like a really sweet guy. I hope Blake means what he says and won't hurt him. I can't wait to read more and happy birthday to you

I had a lot iof fun reading this chapter again. what an eye opener and very exciting. I can't help but be intrigued by this world you created and the plan the Nave have to take over and everything like that. Jacob is nothing if not impulsive isn't he ? can't wait to see what happens next. still loving Q and i adore this story.

I'm so very proud of you and what you have done with this story I love Chase and Kaleb. i love to think about them and they always make me smile. Kaleb made the right decision taking Chase to the nursery. I love what Chase said to him too about being special and that not necessarily being a bad thing. Chase is very good for Kaleb and Kaleb is good for chse. I get that song Looks Like We Made it in my head when i think about them, because it just seems like everyone thinks they shouldn't be together, but they know different. love it chica beautiful scenes at the hospital and loved the scenes at the hotel too. Kaleb may be a little slower then most folk but he definitely ain't stupid and he wants some of his hot sexy boyfriend hehe thats for sure jammi

charlie and Jeff you guys are thinking along the same lines I am. I also wonder if there is a connection, and i can't wait to see what happens next. i'm completely addicted to this story

I'm enjoying learning all about Q's history. so has it even hit Jacob that he was talking to a god (at the library that is lol wow) Q reminds me of Hercules in the way of the god coming down to sleep with the ail'ee of course thats where the similarity ends but i really find this all intriguing. and how crazy that when nyavek and skai were no longer fighting over the female god she got jealous ? and what a way to build suspense great cliffhanger i adore this story

I think this chapter worked just perfectly Loahisi is right, you have made us fall for Kaleb and we love Chase as well. I've always admired your writing and i love getting to read this as you create it I like how Chase sticks to his convictions and he knows how he feels about Kaleb. I love Kaleb's devotion to Chase too. it was so sweet him wanting to help when he could obviously tell that Chase was sad. can't wait to see what he does about that. lovely chapter chica as always

I am in awe of your imagination.

Happy Birthday Conner. Hope it's a great one enjoy

i loved everything about this chapter. I feel that here we start to get to the crux of what the story is truly about and i just know it only gets better from here. oh and i love Q

I agree that dialogue is the one place where grammar depends on the character and how the character speaks. to me dialogue has to sound natural and spontaneous, and at the same time it needs to make sense to convey what you are trying to convey. For example most people use contractions they say I can't or I don't instead of I cannot and I do not. But if your character is known for being proper and correct then there will be no contractions in their speech. Then there are the characters described as being california surfer types who use the word "dude" and "like" to a nauseating degree lol but it's them they stand out that way. To me dialogue is used to move the story along, but its also there to help us better understand the characters we're reading about. i know i try to be conscious of how each of my characters will say something depending on who they are. a doctor's speech is likely to be refined and schooled and will likely differ greatly from say a street merchant who could use a lot of slang. It also differs depending on whom the person is talking to. The way one may talk around their friends may not necessarily be the way they speak around their parents or their bosses or strangers. There is so much to think about when doing dialogue i could discuss it all day. So i will stop now

i still can't stop thinking there is a reason there are three characters named jacob in this story. and not even just in this story but involving the brotherhood that seems too...i don't even know the word but it can't be coincidence that would be to easy and i have quickly learned that you are unpredictable my friend lol. in any case love this but then you knew that reading everyone else's responses and ideas is fun

I have to say your imagination is definitely nothing short of amazing. I give fantasy writers a lot of props because they have to come up with these unique worlds and characters and names and make it all believable. I love the way this is playing out and i think the world you have crafted is quite breathtaking. So now we know Jacob's beginning as it is, and still there are questions to be answered. kudos to you