Jammi
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Everything posted by Jammi
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Plumping up lol I don't think I'll ever look at hotdogs without giggling. Never heard it put quite that way. Nice chapter Renee the tension was believable though Jared definitely overreacted. looking forward to what happens next
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And theres the ptsd!! Poor Jared he recalls more then Kyle thought about the attack. I hope Kyle can help. I like the realism here. They are together and home but everything isn't all right yet. The attacker's words are chilling such an awful thing all that hatred. Grat chapter!
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Nice make up scene :-) Kyle bought the building awww. I love how there is a slow unveiling as far as information goes. Its like peeling an onion layer by layer. I'm still thinking Chelsea has something to do with all this. She's very crafty and the least likely suspect. Glad Kyle realizes now it really wasn't Matt,and glad that despite that accusation Matt still wanted to help his friend
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I think things are happening too quickly and that's why it feels somewhat contrived. That said I like the story being crafted here. I saw you said you might rewrite at some point...I think with tweaks and fleshing out this story will be even better. I like the idea of Matt trying to help so he confesses, but don't believe is as cut and dry as it is made to seem. And Kyle gave in too easily loke he resigned himself to fate and que sera sera. This story is so mysterious though. sofer smaller hands? Hmmmmm way to build intrigue :-) glad Jared is awake
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Uh oh poor kyle. So Chelsea is his sister? Did we know that already? He's being framed and I wonder who set him up. I would like to think Chelsea wouldn't frame her brother. Nice mystery you have going here Renee.
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Echoing Andy here, obviously we know it wasn't kyle. My immediate thought was Chelsea. I don't trust her. As for Matt what is he up to I wonder. The plot thickens!
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I'm calling red herring with Matt its too easy and convenient for it to be him who did this. of course i have more chapters to read and can't wait to see what happens next. I also thought it was far too easy for Kyle to think his best friend would do something that that. Not that i blame kyle for being upset, but he jumped to that conclusion so fast, and it seems to be matt would be the last person he'd suspect since its his best friend. really intriguing stuff here though
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this is shaping up to be a great mystery i see. poor Jared attacked twice in the span of weeks. Kyle needs to be honest about his feelings, that would be first and foremost. if Jared knew why he wanted him to move in (as apposed to what he thinks is the reason) then maybe his responses would be different. who knows. And signs point to Matt being Jared's attacker, but i guess that's jsut a red herring yes ? Unless...he'd want to find a way to force the issue of jared and kyle living together again. definitely something to think about
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Ah pride thine worst enemy at times for sure. Though I do like that Jared wants to try to get back in Kyle's good graces on his own terms. Not sure what to think of Matt at the moment, though i guess he would do just about anything for his friend, even if he doesn't agree with him. That being said, i hope he doesn't do something underhanded like convince Jared to stay out of Kyle's life, and pay him to do it. oh dear complexites.
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Hi Renee I know it can be very hard to come up with the reasons why. Sometimes that's the hardest part. In anycase,my immediate thought was that some underlying circumstance forced Jared's hand. Can't wait to see how this living arrangement works and friends is the best way to start.
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I'm really interested in finding out why jared left. He does seem liek an idea, and ihis statement leaves room for a lot of questions "I didn't have a choice" It does seem like Kyle just can't say no to this man even though he wants to. can't wait to see what unfolds next now that they are forced to be in the same place together for the next twenty four hours
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Writing Tip Writing Tip: Oops, It's Wrong... Or Is It?
Jammi commented on Trebs's blog entry in Writing World
Speaking of transitive verbs, set and sit is another that trips people up. Set is transitive it describes an action being done to an object. ie; I set the plant on the table. If "on the table" was omitted from the sentence, it becomes unclear. On the other hand Sit is intransitive. It describes an action undertaken by the subject of the sentence. I"to sit" does not express the kind of action that can be DONE TO anything. ie; Max sits there ever day. He sat there yesterday, and will be sitting there tomorrow. I try to remember by thinking, you set objects down, and people and animals sit reference Get It Write: http://www.getitwriteonline.com/archive/060602SitSet.htm -
Shane is so down on himself its hard for him to see what others see. Hope Sam and everyone else stays persistent
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Its like a train wreck. I can't stop reading. But I have to say this is stretching even my imagination. And thsts saying Something.
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nd just when I thought things couldn't get worse...
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Must echo what has already been said here. As a doctor shawna is required to involve the authorities. Principals too. The only choice is to get involved. especially now after Don has talked to the dad. He cant possibly think its in Shane's best interest to stay with his father. We won't even go into how disappointed I am in Derek.
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Derek loves Shane? Will he help him out of Hell? Can he? Guess more reading is in order.
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The brother is a real piece of work. Hope he stays gone. I like Derek....hope that is geniune, Shane needs allies. Still hoping tad and don can help. Nice chapter
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I have to agree with rebel here. I don't get why it seems everyone turns a blind eye here Kelly, Nick, and to a lesser degree Derek, all see something, but everyone keeps quiet. I understand Derek is just a kid but the adults here are baffling. I am compelled to see what happens though
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I think you know how much i adore this story! i don't mind telling you again. This last chapter is just awesome. I love Q, and i'm glad he wasn't upset with Jacob for obviously not following orders lol. Love that Jacob's friends reacted so well. Loved the shocks and surprises and the "oh my" moments, and i can't wait to see the next chapter...since i know what you posting it here means... i shall be checking the yahoogroup regularly ! lol thanks for such a great story X. for something you started because you were somewhat bored it truly is very well crafted and completely enjoyable!
