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comicfan

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  1. comicfan
    Alright I feel like hell and will be posting parts of this in a few spots so people know. I hate going anywhere without being all set. Considering I was the one who set up the DC get together let me simply put this as simply as I can. I won't be there
     
    Three things made sure that doesn't happen. First Strike was my car. I had set over a thousand dollars aside for this trip. I figured no way was I going to be caught flat for it. However, my car in the last month alone stripped me of over $1100 in repairs. However, with my paycheck I would still be able to squeak by and make it down, just wouldn't be able to do all I had hoped to do.
     
    Strike two. My 73 year old father took a fall this week and still isn't up and functional completely. Considering the reason I gave up my life in Connecticut was to be here and help him, it isn't exactly a great idea to leave him here when he is hobbling around. Luckily he didn't break anything but his whole left side is all black and blue, swollen and the doctor has told him not to climb ladders to cut things. He is to wait till I get home and I'll do it. Add the guilt of Father's Day on Sunday and I'm not winning any awards here
     
    Strike three is Me. When I took him to be examined the doctor that my father goes to is the family doctor. Evidently I was more upset than I realized. He took one look at me when I went in with my father, knowing I have high blood pressure and an irregular heartbeat stopped to take my blood pressure. Whatever he seen or heard had him order up one of those heart monitor things where you get wired for sound. He didn't have it in his office Wednesday so I was his last appointment on Thursday night. I didn't exactly sleep well last night. I can say those patch things itch, I want a shower and five pm can not get here soon enough.
     
    So the DC East Coast set up that I started, I can't make it to. I feel like a huge heel but there it is. Sorry gang but this time I have to put other things before it.
  2. comicfan

    Keeping Up

    By comicfan,

    Just figured I was a bit behind in my blog. Welcome to the first of June. The weather has been beautiful today.
     
    I managed to fill in a hole in the yard, and get it seeded. Supposed to rain for the next couple of days so hoping the seeds take and the lawn comes in instead of the soil just getting washed away.
     
    I also completed the beta work I had. I hate to fall behind but this week was crazy with the hours I was working. I also got back the latest chapter on Jonas. Lets just say I had some major revision work to do and got it back to my beta yesterday. Hopefully he will get to look it over and then I can send it off to my editor.
     
    In the meantime I have worked hard on completing my story for the Anthology. Choices was an interesting topic and I hope that my take on it finds a few readers. Only, while I'm not quiet done yet, I have hit ten pages and well hoping it fits.
     
    Also finally had a chance to pick up and work on the piece I have been writing for the Secrets Kill Anthology. I am saying a little prayer that my ass manages to finish that one in time. If not, well, my readers will get a new story.
     
    For those interested in what I do here at GA, keep your eyes open. News may be in the wind.
  3. comicfan

    Little Surprises

    By comicfan,

    I've made little secret that one of my great pleasures is getting mail. Anything but bills and junk mail make me smile. I've gotten post cards from people on vacation, people showing parts of their home town or state, and even postcards of animals. Thinking of you cards also.
     
    I am also something of a fanatic for holidays. New Year's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas are events that get a card. I know your birthday, expect a card. I know your wedding anniversary, expect a card.
     
    Then of course there are cards for no reason. Just a hello, how are you, or thought you might like this card. I'm good that way. About now most of my friends are getting postcards again. I found a collection that I liked so I sent them out. It is my way to send a little thought to them. My way of sending a hug through the mail.
     
    To those of you whose address I have, well expect a surprise. lol.
  4. comicfan
    First off I wish all of the Mother's out there a good day. Then I wish to say I want to curl up and forget it. It isn't so much that I hate Mother's day because my mom is gone, just that this year the day falls on the anniversary of her death. Kind of makes it a bit of a rough reminder.
     
    However, even my own discomfort is nothing to my father's. He was her partner for 39 years, stood her up at the alter once, and eventually found the balls to marry her anyway. They had good times, bad times, two children, and countless animals in their time together. He has been falling apart since Friday so just doing my best to hold him together and let him grieve again. With my job I never get weekends off so not like I can keep him busy tomorrow.
     
    For those who have been trying to read my prompt story, I do apologize. Like I said my internet is basically acting up badly. Took four attempts before the story actually published in full. I do apologize.
     
    I also feel like I have let people down, seems I haven't been as available as I thought. I hate hearing how people have had to find substitutes, but didn't tell me right away.
     
    Anyway I have chapter 8 nearly done. Just went over it again and want to add a few things before I send it to my beta. Bless Andy, he has been patient with me.
     
    Enough of my griping. I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday. Happy Mother's Day to all those out there. Hang in there to all my friends. It has to get better.
  5. comicfan
    I'll apologize up front if I am slow in getting back to anything. My damn internet is on the blink and I've basically been without now for two days. This is rare that it is up and working so I hope it posts.
     
    The only good news is that having been unable to get on line I am writing. Chapter 8 is just about ready to head to the beta, I've got a good story going for the prompt, and I'm working on Choices for the next anthology.
     
    Things might not be perfect (God, if someone has the perfect life I want to meet them just so I can laugh cause it must be boring as hell) but at least they are keeping me going in interesting times.
     
    I'm off to bed. I have to be up early tomorrow to try to get my tire fixed cause it keeps loosing air every time I turn around. I also need to go find pants, mine have finally become too big and need something that fits. It is either new pants or I go in underwear and nobody is ready for that, especially me.
     
    Hope everyone has a good week and thanks for checking on me.
  6. comicfan

    A Mask is a Mask

    By comicfan,

    A mask is a mask. I don't think people purposely put them on. They just do. People act differently depending on where they are and who they are with.
     
    I was told I didn't have to put a mask on for my friends. I don't think you really do but what you expose to people is different.
     
    I doubt all of us act the same around our parents, our lover, our children, friends, and strangers. It is just part of who we are and how we deal with everyone. No one will talk the same to their best friend as they do a young child or about the same subject matter. Part of the social masks we wear.
     
    No matter who I am with I still am willing to do my all to help those around me. What I am learning is sometimes, I have to say no and help myself first.
     
    You take a chance every time you put yourself out there. Sometimes you are met with a smile and hug, other times with rejection. It hurts when you are rejected, but you can't put yourself out there if you don't love yourself first. Of course enough rejection leads to you needing to go lick wounds that have been caused. That is all I am doing now. Time to recoup.
  7. comicfan

    Fixing the mask

    By comicfan,

    I'm usually the bubbly one. I listen, smile, and keep people at arms distance. It isn't that hard.
     
    Every once in a while the mask cracks and the loneliness seeps in. Then I do something stupid, like join a dating site, go on a blind date, or even worse head out to nightclub to see what is out there.
     
    I've learned there is something worse than being overweight, middle aged, and alone. Being overweight, middle aged, and gay in this society. I know women are constantly raked over the coals for how they have to look and act, but I forgot how petty men can be as well.
     
    So I gave myself some time and I've learned the lessons well. Quasi stays out of the dating game.
     
    I just don't need any more pain that way. I'll slip my mask back in place, put away the parts of me I don't need, and fix the parts I can. The men in my family usually don't live to see seventy one. So i have a little less than thirty years left. Might as well try to be healthy and find something to turn my energy to that can at least help others. So I'll smile, listen, joke, and offer whatever advice people ask for, and know that my place will always be that of a friend. Hell I bet that would make an interesting story.
  8. comicfan
    Alright, the fact of my life is I have no luck. No, strike that, if I didn't have bad luck I'd have no luck. I've been silent about any sort of hopes or desires because, well, if I mention them then there is a good chance something can go wrong.
     
    Yesterday is a prime example.
     
    I got my tax money back. Not a fortune, nothing that you say is mad money. I have plans for nearly every dime of it. In fact a large part of it is suppose to be sent in June, for this little thing coming up I started call the East Coast get together. *sigh*
     
    However on my way to work yesterday all of a sudden the inside of the car got hot, and smelled hot. Then I seen the engine gauge go right to the top. I pulled right over. Lucky me, I got a tow directly to the local repair shop near where I work.
     
    The end result being, somehow, in a million to one shot, I hit a rock which bounced up and punctured my radiator. Yes they found the rock still there. The bill to remove and replace the radiator literally ate my NY state tax return in one visit. Gone. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, nothing.
     
    Oh well back to refigure the finances. Why can't something go right just once? Was I that bad a person in my youth or am I just paying for something I screwed up majorly in a former life? Sometimes I simply wonder.
  9. comicfan
    Okay I fell behind. There is no other way to put it. I took on a few writers who all happened to have work for me at the same time and I fell apart. So now I am playing catch up.
     
    For those who follow the writers I work with, I'm sorry. They aren't getting out because, well, I'm behind.
     
    I'm nearly all caught up now. So look for a new story from Daniel shortly, and a few chapters in the Legacy story from Mark. Then I might be able to put my beta to work as i finally play catch up with Jonas.
  10. comicfan
    Funny, my day this morning started so normal and I was feeling up. I was working back and forth between two beta projects. Finally getting things done. I took some time this afternoon to do a little food shopping, do some laundry and get myself ready for life.
     
    This afternoon I signed in and then I seen it. KC's mom lost the battle and had passed away. I know too well what that is like. i can relate and sympathize with his loss. For each person that loss affects them differently. For some it is a release from the past and perhaps what crippled them, for others it is the loss of the chance to get answers, or the loss of a best friend as well as a parent. What each person feels and how they deal with it is different.
     
    I believe I am like most. You see someone's grief and want to help, but you can't help relating it back to yourself. I remember my mother's passing, feeling lost, but also having to hold up my father and brother. I was the rock. The one who took everyone's pain, comments, and kept going. I was the family support. My brother had his wife, my father had my brother and I. I had myself. It would be a month later that a close friend took me in her arms and wouldn't let me go till I finally cried myself out. The rock cracked and pain finally poured out.
     
    So now all I can think of is my friend, KC. Someone I like personally and hope that whatever prayers and thoughts can bring him comfort find him now. May God or whatever force is out there in the universe bring him and his family peace.
  11. comicfan

    A break at last

    By comicfan,

    I think most of us get caught up in our lives from time to time. Mine has been a bit busier than I'd like and I have been unable to focus. It is something that happens to the best of us at one point or another.
     
    For those following the odd bits and pieces of my life, Dad had his skin cancer removed last week and the doctor is happy with the way he is healing. My sister in law undergoes the biopsy on her throat cancer next Monday, after that is complete they will begin to figure out her treatment options.
     
    I've been sort out of it and unable to focus on writing lately. So my ongoing has paused and two other projects were frozen with no real idea of when I could get back to them. The focus on my story at the moment it happened was sort of mistimed but if nothing else is pushing me to get going again.
     
    Today for the first time in two weeks I put pen to paper and managed to write. Not a chapter, not a partial story, but a full short story from beginning to end. It feels like a miracle but now that the mental block is gone I can finally see where to take the projects that were suddenly on hold. So forgive me if I take a little bit but I promise to get my act together again. Thanks for the patience and understanding.
     
    A special mention to my friends. I might not always be at the top of my game but I think I can honestly say that you guys are always there to keep me afloat and for that, my sincere thanks.
     
    Wayne
  12. comicfan
    Life has a way of trying to equal things out. I don't mean that everything will be perfect just that when things begin to slide out of control help will be there when you need it.
     
    The last two weeks have seen the wind taken out of my sails. First there was the personal attack. That took me out of my normal position in life. I'm usually the happy go lucky one who lets things roll off his back. It took a bit of time to get that perspective back. It helps to have friends who listen, even though I hate to talk, and will allow me to let it out. Like any poison, whether it is self loathing, disappointment, depression, or a dozen other hateful things, when you let it out you begin to heal. So thank you to those who listened to me whine, complain, and get it out.
     
    However, once the person stupidity was over real tragedy struck. Still been asked not let it out, but I don't always do as asked. Waiting right now for all the results on my sister-in-laws results on her cancer test. It has been determined she has throat cancer, but how bad and what sort of treatment she will have to undertake has yet to be related to us. Both her and my brother smoke like a chimney. She is a year younger than I am and he is four years younger. So I've been scattered. It happens.
     
    I am blessed though that I have people who depend on me and keep me moving. Whether it is Mark and Billy by reminding there is more than just me going through things, KC stepping in to help fill the void I left with my person issues, Andy continuing to aid in my story, Frosty for editing what I have managed to do, or Renee and Cia taking time to listen to me rant and rave. Even among the ashes I find my blessings. For the help and support you all give to me and to each other I thank you.
     
    Wayne
  13. comicfan

    Promoting My Boys

    By comicfan,

    Alright, I know some people think that as a Promising Writer I ignore what is happening else where. I don't. I love to read which is how I have ended up working with as many different writers as I do. I think if you check it out, you will find it is that way with most of the authors, Hosted, Promising, or otherwise. We enjoy writing and we enjoy reading. (I'll admit I would like to know where both Andy and Nephy find the time for all their reading and reviewing. I am way behind their curve. )
     
    Any way for anyone who takes the time to read my blog, and thank you for doing so, I'd like to suggest four authors I am presently working with. If you haven't read their stuff please take a minute and do so.
     
    First up is Mark. I've been working as his beta the longest. His story is dark, bad, and bondage laden. He takes you down the dark trails of Masters and slaves. It isn't a light read but a dark look at the steamy side of an earlier English life. His story is called The Legacy. Here is the link to it.
     
    http://www.gayauthor...ark92/thelegacy
     
    Next up is Billy. I came to Billy's story after the story had begun. I liked what I was reading but noticed one or two things that I could do to help him. He was willing to listen to my suggestions and suddenly I had a second person to beta for. Again his work is vastly different from my own. He looks at the awkward growing up ages of his character Andy. From intolerance to religion, nothing is off topic and yet he has a gentle way of taking anyone along for ride with him. The story is still building up a good head of steam so if you get the chance read it. The link is below for that as well. Billy's story is called Trials and Tribulations.
     
    http://www.gayauthor...andtribulations
     
    Daniel89 I found looking for help as he advertised in the thread. Something about the honesty of his plight drew me. Daniel is not a native English speaker, English being his second language. However his story was something I hadn't read before. What he really needed was someone to tweak his work so it didn't sound stilted when going from one language into another. The poor boy got stuck with an American instead of an Englishman so have a heart if something is off. His story of two men who meet one frozen winter day shows all the heartbreak and tenderness of a new romance. His background deals with horses and that world isn't one I knew so I found the whole thing very special. Take a shot and give it read and comment. His story is entitled Where Horses Dance.
     
    http://www.gayauthor...herehorsesdance
     
    Finally there is Midnight Man. The poor guy had barely joined when I met him in chat one night. Amazing how some ribbing and kidding around will get a guy to open up. He had this story he was working on. He had the first chapter done and I asked to read it. Well he is two chapters into it now. Again his work is completely different from the rest. He deals with a special breed of people stuck in their afterlife called Harbingers. To say more would deprive you of a great read. Considering again that this is his first piece here I consider myself lucky get to help him. Give it a shot if you like something quirky and dark. Midnight Man's tale is called Harbinger.
     
    http://www.gayauthor...htman/Harbinger
     
    So those are the writers I'm working with. Each and every one of them talented and original in their own way. I am grateful to have the chance to work with all of them. Now those are wildly different stories worth taking a moment to read. But, hey I'm always looking for something else worth sitting down and devouring. So if you have any suggestions feel free to leave them. In the mean time all I can say is I wanted to spotlight my boys so I am. Give them some love by reading their work, leaving a comment, and letting them know if you enjoyed their tales. I think you will.
     
    Wayne
  14. comicfan

    Down but not out

    By comicfan,

    Blind dates are things that no matter how much you might think they might be different, really shouldn't be done. I thought I had gotten out of mine but at the last minute it was back on. I was stupid I went.
     
    First off I made the mistake of saying yes. I knew he was younger I just didn't realize that meant being cold. Funny how no matter how much weight you lose, or how much better you feel, someone sees you and says the wrong thing - bam! It's back to square one.
     
    I always feel for a first date you go somewhere public where if either party is uncomfortable they can make a graceful escape. Hard to do however when the blind date isn't calm about it.
     
    "Wow! You're old and FAT! Can't date you. Bye"
     
    Great blind date. Let me tell you. At least it was short.
     
    Oh well. I have stories to write. So feeling down but won't let it put me out.
  15. comicfan

    An apology

    By comicfan,

    This whole week has been screwed up for me. I am trying to keep the smile in place but depression got its grip in me for a while and I can't focus. I'll be honest, I didn't want to focus. I wanted to wallow.
     
    However I am behind on beta projects, my story, and all. So for those following me or waiting on me, I apologize. I promise to get my butt back in gear. Was working on the beta projects and should have my story up on Monday.
     
    Again sorry gang.
  16. comicfan

    Finally ... a story

    By comicfan,

    Okay, granted it is a prompt but after a long period where I just didn't feel like doing a damn thing I finally finished a prompt. Not only that but it was totally cynical either. Anyway, will try to get more stuff tomorrow done, considering it is my Saturday. The joys of retail. Hope everyone has a good day.
  17. comicfan

    Spring?

    By comicfan,

    Usually I look for the first flowers of spring. Snow bells or crocus but neither is breaking through the ground yet. However it looks like the pussy willow will be cracking open any day now. Seems Spring is almost here. Very, very mild winter this year but not going to complain. Enjoy all.
  19. comicfan
    Okay so pain is not something I am use to. I have been dealing with my back pain but then my diverticulitis acted up as well. Or I am assuming it did. The pain I have been dealing with has been more than I am use to and while I can usually ignore pain to a certain level this is enough to make me stop and drop to my knees. Needless to say tomorrow I doubt I am going to work. Most likely I will be calling the doctor and I won't be surprised if he sends me right to the hospital for tests. Can I tell you how little I am enjoying 2012 so far. Sigh.
  20. comicfan
    We all like to think we are superhuman. Nothing bad can happen to me. When things go wrong I can handle it.
     
    Okay, I'm old, I definitely know better but doesn't mean I don't delude myself on occasion.
     
    I can't pick up the pieces as they are shattered. I can't help everyone. I can't do it all. I'm human. I bend and if I am not careful I will break.
     
    Today showed me I am not as young as I use to be. Moved wrong and I pulled something in my back. I've found a few new words I didn't know as I tried to edge myself into a seat. My back has been having little spasms ever since. Who knew even sitting down could hurt?
     
     
    Anyway just going to try to finish up a little bit and then go to bed. Have a good one all.
  21. comicfan
    I think everyone does it at one time or another. You over do. I'm one of those foolish people who hates to say "no" unless I have to.
     
    I always find time to listen to others, be there when I can for others. I don't have a pot or window so can't do financial for people but my time is theirs if they need it. The thing is a few people too many lately have been tapping me and I'm just about tapped out.
     
    Funny how the guy who can listen to anyone hates to open up himself, but I am a bit stressed and tired. I've had a cold and tried to rest but a few people can't take a gentle hint and I don't usually have the heart to just say "Go the hell away."
     
    There are some people who are so gentle you don't mind helping and others you want to just talk to. However there are still others who only seem to take and take and take. These are the ones who never let you recharge or give back to you. Tonight I finally had to tell one goodbye. It isn't that he is a bad person it is the fact he is always in crisis, wants to tell you his problems, but doesn't care if you are sick and really can't concentrate on him. When push comes to shove, sorry I still have myself to worry about and I can't let you take me down if you don't want to try to save yourself.
     
    I needed to vent a bit. Sorry if you got stuck reading it.
  22. comicfan

    Going Forward

    By comicfan,

    Well I have the computer back. Right now I just don't want anything to go wrong while I play update with everything.
     
    For those who are working on both GA and the sister site, well the Valentine story is due in ten days. Yes, anthology time never seems to end. lol. I have a story idea just need time to get it done and then have a beta and editor rip it apart. Speaking of the sister site I have a second chapter nearly complete now for Seer so hopefully people will enjoy that as well.
     
    I have started to post Jonas. Jonas was the story that began as part of the Anthology here on GA. Thanks to Andy for pushing me to convert that story into a full blown tale. Hopefully people will enjoy it as much as they did the original.
     
    I have pulled Seeon. It might take a bit of time but it will be back. I just need to overhaul the whole story and correct some things so when I get to book two it all makes sense and there are no problems with it.
     
    I do ask anyone who reads this to consider nominating the stories from the past year you felt are worth it. This is everyone's chance to put forth stories they feel are deserving. Due to the many categories most people should find a few that they enjoy. Even if you can't think of a major story look at the Anthologies while you have time and at least put forth those you feel deserve consideration. Voting itself will start soon. Just make your voice heard and let others know who you feel did excellent work. Remember, this isn't suppose to be a popularity contest but a vote on a piece of work you feel reached you, took your attention, and made you feel connected. It might be a new author or one you have read a hundred times, but if you enjoyed it now is your chance to expose it to others for consideration as well.
  23. comicfan

    Issues

    By comicfan,

    Okay so doing this by phone so mistypes and mistakes are just part of the issues.
     
    1) I have discovered I can not do everything I would like to on the site with my phone. I keep having issues answering and writing comments on stories. This is a phone issue driving me nuts.
     
    2) I still am waiting for my computer to come back. I have about six days to go and it is driving me nuts.
     
    3) I have completed two short stories that I just need my computer to type up now.
     
    4) I have pulled Seeon and it will not be finished or continued into space as planned.
     
    5) Work is finding reasons to write up everyone. I have seen more people termed in the last week than in six years working there. Life is not a happy thing at the moment.
     
    6) Helping someone else through a rough patch has made me wonder about myself lately. Maybe I am toxic or just really stupid.
  24. comicfan

    Silly Concerns

    By comicfan,

    Get ready for my usual hodge podge again.
     
    1) The computer is sent out and now I have about a 10 days left till it is back. Can I tell you how nuts I am without a computer?
     
    2) I am working on a project again. I figured I have to do something while I don't have a computer. When asked for an idea of how long was given a clue that works great if typing on a computer but not if you are hand writing. Oh well I will do the best I can.
     
    3) I sent out a lot of packages for the holidays but in many cases have no idea if my friends got them. Still have to get use to that.
     
    4) Work seems to be keeping me on the night shift. Just feel all out of sorts. However, being single I just have me to complain to. Lol. Oh well.
  25. comicfan

    Death of a Computer

    By comicfan,

    Okay, so the title pretty much says it all. The comupter has been acting strange then it stopped connecting to the internet. Most likely a week without it. SHH. I am already having withdrawal systems.
     
    Unfortunately won't be posting the last chapter of Seeon until I ... Oh yeah have a computer again. I will be posting messages and I can respond to notes on the site, but I don't even want to admit how long it took me to type this out on my phone.
     
    So I am sort of on a forced break. All that means is I go back to hand writing my story and waiting till the computer is back. I hope it is soon!
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