Rndmrunner

I am really enjoying the story. I think that "Ken's" identify will need to come out to the readers soon. While i am pretty certain i think i know who he is, the mystery has served its purpose and could become stale. It also prevents the plot form moving forward at some point. Anyway just my personal opinion so take or toss it. The story continues to gain depth and clarity. I continue to be amazed that you can orchestrate the large number of characters and keep them human and distinct.

I find it difficult to add reviews to Mush because it is such a wonderfully complex and unified "tail". It seems repetitive to keep repeating that over and over again. I was wary that even you could juggle so many characters with similar family traits and keep them individual and unique. You continue to surprise. It also isn't my style to comment on the plot twists as you are the driver and i am along for the ride. Stylewise you continue develop as an amazing writer so thank you and i hope to see more of the Sasabax team in the near future. All the best

I'd rave about the consistent social structure you have created if i wasn't so blown away by the griping writing. As always, thanks!

I see that this will be dragged out for poor Taryhn ( I am sure i spelt that wrong). You've got to feel for the poor boy. Kurt, well he can't help being Kurt even if he suffers for it. Just luv'n the story !!

I am thoroughly enjoying the story but the training and the running are the best. You capture the energy and the spirit of the training and it sends my pulse climbing in tandem. Thanks

how about square-cut trunks, more revealing than board shorts but not a banana hammock!

i did go back and found the reference. Sorry.

It partly the problem of reading in serial form but did i miss something. When did Shawn learn that Kennick was searching for artifacts? I thought the readers knew it through the narrative but i did not think Shawn was party to that info. Ignore if i am just mixed up (or a careless reader)

Really interesting story. It is still difficult to tell the characters apart with so many in play (8 main players plus coaches and management). Great start though. I like the different threads (Ty's maturity, the gay theme, Julie and Tony's integration into the team). Can't wait for the next chapter.

Thanks for a great story. So just to break the suspense, is Book 2 already in the works or do we have to wait ..........

i saw the ambush coming but it didn't make it any les enjoyable. Great chapter!

I'm enjoying the start of the story. Its a difficult setting with so many characters but they are coming to life as individuals - a tougher feat when you are posting serially and instalments come weekly. The team camaraderie is a great element to build the story upon. It also creates more varied conflict potential re a player coming out as supportive friend s can feel hurt that they were not trusted and others need to accommodate having a gay teammate. I am looking forward to the next chapter.

I agree Cia, we fall back into easy comfortable pigeon holes be it having all lead characters of one gender, stereotypes about sexuality and certainly stock characters particularly for female characters in gay fiction. On GA it starts to stand out partly because there are outstanding examples of really creative fiction that simply tell powerful and nuanced tales. Then it becomes particularly noticeable when good writers fall back on easy if tired solutions. The online world is changing things too and not for the better. In life if you insult a friend or frenemy face to face, there are real consequences because you continue to see this person, online people show less restraint because they have more distance. But as a lengthening lists of suicides show, there are still very real consequences sometimes.

So I am sure i will get myself into trouble here but i wanted to air a topic that has been on my mind. I have noticed quite a few stories in gay male genre that have female antagonists who start to be labelled "whores and bitches". They often are former or hopeful girlfriends of men who come out. Typically these characters react badly and then seek some revenge on the boys for rebuffing them thus setting up major conflicts for the story. I have come across quite a few stories that are like this. For myself it is sometimes a trigger to stop following a story. My point here is not about Political correctness but rather that these characters are often portrayed very one dimensionally which then makes its OK to other characters start referring to them or calling them F***ing B**ches or whores, often to their faces and in front of others as scenes intensify. Males characters who are evil do not get the same treatment for the most part. I guess what i find particularly disturbing is that teen characters do this the most and sometimes adults and parental figures join in. It bothers me on a couple of levels, firstly that young writers see this portrayal as realistic and dramatic and secondly this leads in my opinion to poorer writing as the stories retreat into simple stereotypes and cardboard characters. In the end i find both the characters' actions and the subsequent reactions troubling. However, i think the story lines are valid and often portray real issues. Any thoughts?? Maybe i should just pen a story called "Mean Girls" and explore it more deeply myself.

Great chapter, it made me feel like i was running the trail with them. Learned a new word too! [haptic] thanks

Remarkable start to a great story. This is such a fresh storyline. You make the simple things exciting and i see their world through their eyes. Thanks

Great chapter (as always) One small point in the interaction between Shell and Parker. When Shell said "Curtis says we can't hang out any more" ,it wasn't clear that she was speaking of herself and Parker because of the new pack, it could also be because Shell is human that Curtis was told or feels he has to break it off with her after Parkers turning. It does get clarified a bit,later on when Parker says that they will always be friends. But this is a pretty crucial moment in the chapter as it relates to the 2 packs and might help clarify. As i said before, this is a riveting story. Thanks

I find this very odd. People vary a lot at 19, some are still emotionally adolescent and others are mature beyond their years. It does strike me as odd that at 19 he wants to exchange intimacy for a public act broadcast to strangers. Even if it is art it doesn't make it healthy for him. Besides what is new and change worthy and wonderful for him is not necessarily anything but voyeurism for others. This is an act that he can never take back and may not think it brave or adventurous or art in the future when his kids are viewing it online in 20 years. Obviously it is his decision as it is the public's to engage it online.

D bees have an A game?

To support Sasha here, with a kid just in double digits and closer to the ave age of the posters in this form than i am, i can honestly say that clubbing is not a big draw but after 20 odd years, I do know that on the very rare occasion when my partner or myself is out of town, we sleep really poorly. A good party can be great fun but nothing outweighs the simple everyday pleasures. But maybe our relationship feels fresh because " we're not "married", we just act that way (sounds like a pop tune). The fun starts with finding someone that you can be yourself with. A friend told me that i light up when i hear my mate's laughter at a party and i took that for a great compliment. So get laughing and have some fun and if you embarrass your friends, they can deal with it.

yeah that's it .....

This is a really fascinating story. I am enjoying the commingling of complex social structures (human and wolf) into a unified whole. How the pack operates is as interesting as the action revolving around the 2 mail characters. The Koby twist was great as well, showing how passive characters can try to lead from behind so to speak as Koby jumps Tahryn followed by the pack's reaction. Once again you prove that you are not just another "serial soaper" (i'll let you decode that last phrase)

What an amazingly complex and nuanced social structure navigating between wolf and human!!

I like how you are developing Noah, he is maturing and gaining independence and assurance while still wholly recognizable as the same character. Thanks for a great story.

This is a difficult story to have come out in serial format as the plot is subtler and nuanced rather than just action driven. As a result each chapter builds on the previous and leaves the reader hanging. When the next one comes out i find it necessary to reread the last one to regain the rhythm. Not a criticism just and observation.