NotNoNever

I think the point Graeme and I have been making is that an aspie is probably no different in this respect to an NT. If something goes wrong, which it pretty much has to have had, then aspies are just as likely to go wrong as anybody else.

Really, this a very important concept, actually. We often tend to telegraph by accident.

Oh Layla, I love you! Someone who understands and sees the achievements of what a person can do, not what they haven't achieved like some fancy university education. I do woodwork and I learned to weld in college - though I was good at gas welding, but rubbish at arc welding. Furthermore, he sounds like somebody who learns by doing, rather than in theory. I have the same way of learning. I do disagree about the classification thing a little though. We need a touchstone to be understood under. Some call it a label and hate it. Others, like Gene Splicer above for instance, see it as a way of explaining their differences. That's my take on it. I firmly believe disclosure is the only way to expect some acceptance of difference. It's a bit difficult to make adjustments when you're disliking somebody on the basis that they are NT. The differences are something that cannot be overcome, by and large. A boss of mine once said that disabled people need understanding, but they have a responsibility to try to fit in themselves. I can tell you I was utterly livid. If there is one thing I know, it is that I spend massive amounts of time and energy trying to fit in as it is. Her comment was extremely patronising and completely off mark. I was quite interested in Gene's comment that he had worked at stuff over the last couple of years. I'm not sure I totally believe in that concept, although I absolutely believe it is possible. If someone can do that, more power to them. It doesn't work for me, though. But the availability of help to people to do that as been proven to work, especially in relation to faceblindness and eye contact.

Mad. Hilarious, but very very mad!

harcallard, on 20 Dec 2012 - 03:09, said: I am suddenly reading about cases of Asperger's and I have recently found out I have a friend who suffer's from it! Is it really as wide spread? Autism is about 0.5% - 1% of the population, 80% boys. Aspergers is not suffered. The only suffering going on is that aspies have to suffer the ineptitudes of the rest of the world. Otherwise it's a pretty pleasant experience.

Sigh

Wayne, I can't think of anybody who seems to give so much of themselves to others on this site. You are truly special to some people on here. That's the first thing to remember! Secondly, TAKE some time for yourself. I've seen people look after an elderly and chair bound mother, then quickly followed after a death by an elderly, sick and chairbound brother in law, then after death, her own health failed to the point where she had little or no energy to actually enjoy her life. It's commendable - to the point of sanctity, to be honest. But it's not good for you. I can't offer a lot of advice on the work front, but I can sympathise. Joe Public is rarely right, and never grateful. How about asking your bosses if you can get off the CS point for a few hours each week, just to go stack shelves. Get back to a place where you can just be, rather than perform the fixed smile. As to your father, is there no possibility of your local social services providing you with some respite care for a day a week, or perhaps two per month? The difficulty is that you could end up hating him. You could end up doing things you'll not be very proud of. Worse yet, you could end up feeling extremely guilty after he has gone. People are not born simply to work under pressure. They need to have their own lives and self directed impetus. It's important for a person. Think a little more about you for a bit. I've just been telling KC about cracking his mask over someone's head. I'd suggest you take a high heeled cowboy boot in each hand and wrap them round the ears of the person who gave them to you. That might knock some sense in. Unfortunately I sense it might have been your dad, so ... The other thins is this: Your plantar's fasciitis is a long term condition which probably (I don't know the American law application) defines as a long standing and continuous condition, which makes it a disability. You should have some protection or support under the ADA, so that you can ask your employers to make reasonable accommodations for you at work. This might be as simple getting you a seat, or more complicated by getting physio, or changing your work routine. Think about it a bit. But the truth is that only you can initiate the changes necessary. I know it can seem daunting, and even too much to contemplate. But a little short term hassle for a longer term relief is definitely worth it - in the end

HH5, it's starting to get a bit offensive now. It looks more like you're looking for a way to demonise him, rather than understand. This constant postulation of questions with random 'evidence' isn't going to get you very far. Aspergers is a complicated thing. Furthermore, it is like any other human characteristic set - unique in its warp and weft to each person. As I have been saying all along, as has Graeme, there was far more likely to have been some desparate contributory factor. There is a concept of co-morbidity which is a bit like 'mixed state'. He is also said to have had a personality disorder. Aspergers is not a personality disorder, and I'm not sure how much credence to give that either, but a co-morbid personality disorder, or bi-polar depression is likely to have been at play. It is still inlikely, as Graeme has said, that the Aspergers was the trigger, cause, or primary factor. There is the possibility that certain rigidity of thinking helped him on the way once he had started. But it's also true that once a suicide has made up their mind to do it, they become very settled and rational about it. One other thing that is interesting is that there are reports that his mother was stashing the guns and stuff for the end of the world on Friday. My husband works in the media and told me that, but I have no real knowledge. However, as an illustration, I am going to speculate a bit here: it woud not surprise me if he actually got caught up in the irrationality of this and decided to kil his mother and as many other people as possible along with himself to save them the ordeal. Autists, as I said before, are quite concerned about the happiness or contentment of others and are often over generous. Put that particular trait possibility together with a lack of proper control of a co-morbid condition affecting rationality, and you have all the ingredients for last week. I suspect, and I have difficulty with this myself, that Adam Lanza is as much to be pitied in this as the victims. That might not be popular, but it might be true. Speaking for myself, I would rather he had done this for no reason, than some crazy Waco style belief in changing the world. In fact, was there not an end of the world element in that too? It's all just very sad for the families left behind. The devastation this causes is immense.

Just heard on the news that the little British boy who was shot was found cradled in the arms of his learning support worker who was also killed. He had autism. Without pre-empting anything, given that he was in mainstream and said to be very proud of learning to read, it would seem to me that this was probably a mildly autistic little boy. Or, in other words, a little boy with Aspergers.

Oops, ths post went up as I was writing mine. If I have erred, please let me know, and I'll edit. I think I kept within the parameters of Cia's comments, which should make it OK ... I hope

DSMV has not been released yet, and Aspergers will not be dropped from it. Instead the entire ASD area is being reorganised into three easier to work with categories. That will include the elements which characterised Aspergers as well as some of the lesser difficulties in what will become moderate autism. The higher functioning, like Aspergers and Rhetts, and even some of the PDDNOS traits wil all be congregated under the mild autism category. Autism, especially Asperger level high functioning autism, is not a disease. It is a condition, in many ways similar to homosexuality. It's just who you are. The trouble here is that some autism, just like other conditions, can have other conditions present as well. So it is entirely possible that he had some other type of mental health condition which caused the switch. In relation to empathy, I feel it would be better to clarify Graeme's point. In fact almost all autistic people have trouble with empathy. Empathy is not sympathy. Empathy, in this context, is the ability to read body language and other non verbal cues. That is not something that many autists can do. Added to that, when an Aspie knows you have a problem, they will go out of their way, if they can, to help you. That's the sympathy part. They also have a very pronounced sense of justice, which is one of the reasons there needs to be great care associating this case with autism or Aspergers. Personally, I think it's probably somewhat contributory, but actually minor in relation to some other mental health issue. As for criticisms of the police, well it's a well established principle that you protect the unendangered first and the endangered second. When there's shooting going on in a building, you have absolutely no idea what you're dealing with. Hustling in could set of booby traps which will kill many more people - I think this was the case with the Chinese (?) school shooting a few years back. Also, what is the point in sending in a few relatively untrained, but well intended, officers. They might well end up killing people too, or getting killed themselves. Collateral damage blue on blue causes enough if an outcry when peope are being freed from kidnappers in the middle east. Imagine what would happen to an ordinary plod if he took out a couple of kids by accident. I do understand what MikeL was getting at, and I tend to agree, especially with the evidence he gives. But it is a very complicated thing.

I'm just waitingbtill the weekend, then I'm going to make a hanging christmas tree for the corner behind the TV. I'll post it when I've done it. But don't blame me if the lights don't work when you get it

Do you really feel like that, or do you just not like big crowds and prefer to be on the edge somewhere. Invariably I hide myself in some sort of activity, so I don't have to engage. Oh, and single malts are just the best escape from it all, if you have an engaging interlocutor! Enjoy Christmas! Both of you.

Try Cailean. Not sure about his web skills, but he's defo a designer of some talent.

I often wonder if the self determination of death in Soylent Green was not to be desired. The rest of it was't frightening as much as bloody annoying that the powerful could be so grimly uncaring about other people.

Lewis Hamilton, or Andy Murray

That'll work

Hell, boy! Get out there and give it some! Make sure you have a happy birthday! xx

Is there no end to the destruction of the beauty that is youth in favour of all that is ugly? Life just seems to be a series of trials visited upon people who have either done no harm at all, or strive to do something worthwhile. Roan, Sandy Brook, JoAnn's friend's son. And all this at Christmas when people just want to be happy, be with family, and be at one with life. May Roan's God, if he had one, look after him and give him and his loved ones solace and comfort at this awful time.

Do you mean to tell us he was slicing it on the fly?

Oh Zachary! These people will argue black is polka dot and find some alternative logic in their particular big book to support going against their most dearly held tenets. That's pretty much the way religious diddys work. The annoying this is that we age at the same rate they do, so it's unlikely we'll be around to reap the fruits of our patience when they shuffle off for their 21 prostitutes in hell. Well, you might

It's my belief that my life was brilliant when I was 27. I still count 27 as my best year yet, but it's been not bad since then. Youth? Meh, it's wasted on the young!

Good luck to you all. Your brother seems like a very pragmatic sort of guy, so he should be able to deal with whatever comes, but he'll still need all the support he can get. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

I have reviewed this antho for my blog, so there's another review on there http://www.gayauthors.org/forums/blog/475/entry-13091-2012-summer-anthology-it-wasnt-me/