MikeL

Riley Bria is originally from Spring Hill, Tennessee...near Nashville. He was the first contestant shown tonight from American Idol's Nashville auditions. And he was the first to be awarded a ticket to Hollywood. Riley jammed with Keith Urban on the 2012 American Country Awards. And here is tonight's performance... https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RDnQ3m5BP-Y

OK, here's a more current picture of a prominent American (only clue for now). Who is he? What are his two claims to fame? No cheating.

I noticed that and agree it was sneaky. Your clues, on the other hand were extremely generous. Next challenge shortly.

Charlie Chaplin?

Don't sweat 40. Wait and sweat 70. Congratulations to you and Jian...one of my favorite couples. Please tell him I said hi.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well...?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" stomach and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

Puns anyone? When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. Batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. A will is a dead giveaway. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. A boiled egg is hard to beat. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered. When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

A sunny day in London town...

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?' 'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.' The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. 'I have never heard of that condition before' he said. 'Are you taking anything for it?' The woman nodded, 'Pepper.'

This becomes effective JANUARY 1, 2015 in ALL States. The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 95% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below...

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room. Then, the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room. "What the heck's wrong with you?" He demanded. "This woman is 68 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren , and you told her she was pregnant???!!!" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

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Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things from Home Depot. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint... And a shovel.' Paddy asked, 'And what do I do with these, doc?' The doc replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, "That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw", you hit her with the shovel.'

This may seem a strange place for a book review, but I couldn't resist. One of the neatest things I received for Christmas was a little book titled I Could Pee on This. It is humorous poetry written by cats. The book is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other book stores. Read a sample.

FINALLY... A Keyboard for Old Men!

"Bullfinch", I think.

Getting others to accept you is easy when you have something they need. ~ Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Merry Christmas!

I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.