MikeL

No Bathing Suits Allowed In the Lobby https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_CD16x3amQI Don't mess with old people.

Welcome to GA, Xuan.

Hi, Lacey!

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought long and hard about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad." When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls." The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised. All was well until the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "Hi, Keith."

A local teen approached Chuck Sharp, the owner of a farm near me, and asked for a summer job. Chuck being short-handed agreed at once. "What do you pay?" asked the youth. Chuck said, "Well... I'll watch you work a day or two, then, I'll pay you what you're worth." As the kid turned to walk away, he sneered, "No way am I gonna work for that paltry amount of money."

LOL Welcome Mariah (fellow Tennessean). Have fun.

Happy Birthday, Matt!

Yes it is, Cole. Phyllis Dorothy James, The Right Honourable The Baroness James of Holland Park, OBE Your turn.

I quite naturally think of someone who is on my mind. I think several people know who it is. Go ahead; tell us.

It's time for someone to guess.

Quite true.

Interview with 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of Feague, Kentucky: Reporter: Can you give us some health tips for reaching the age of 101? Hattie: For better digestion I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss I drink white wine. For low blood pressure I drink red wine. In the case of high blood pressure I drink scotch. And when I have a cold I drink schnapps. Reporter: When do you drink water? Hattie: I've never been that sick.

This may be easy...or not.

Harper Lee...great clue!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=igQDvYOt_iA

Welcome, Aspirant. Anyone older than I is very welcome.

BAD Parrot A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"