MikeL

I think Captain Von Trapp was supposed to be rather wooden through most of the story. For his true story, I recommend the autobiography To the Last Salute: Memories of an Austrian U-Boat Commander by Georg von Trapp.

THE SHOEBOX A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She had agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.' The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.. 'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?' 'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

We watched it. Great show! Reminds me of TV the way it used to be. Can't say I don't enjoy flat screen, HD though.

Here is old age at its best: Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know Where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- Lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, What in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?' 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'. 'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

Actually, it s/b "I have me some boy-breaking to do over here".

Since snow is blanketing much of the US now, you may be getting into the Christmas spirit already. Even if you are not, you may wish to share funny cartoons or stories about the season. Here's one:

Don't know how old this ad is...not recent judging from the prices.

Crosscurrentedness? Good one, Yang. You may want to be careful doing that; someone may go and slap a label on you.

Being a military veteran, I find the spray painted slogan totally believable.

Calling home for mommy “Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?” “No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.” After a brief pause, daddy says “But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.” “Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.” Brief Pause. “Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.” “Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.” A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it, Daddy.” “And what happened, honey?” “Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser, and now she isn't moving at all!'** “Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?” “He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.” *****Long Pause***** *****Longer Pause***** *****Even Longer Pause***** Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? ............. Is this 486-5731?” “No, I think you have the wrong number...... ...”

Yeah, real news is never that funny. Mathieu! You really must get out of Canada more often...maybe head farther south while you are at it.

I'm not a gossip. I just offered readers a link to a news article in a British tabloid, realizing full well that tabloids are gossipy. Sorry, Yang. I must decline your gracious invitation. I don't drink wine. I have to limit my consumption of chocolate. And I would bore you with what little I know about celebrities. You would be better entertained watching TV.

He's also seeing Aaron Renfree according to The Sun.

LOL

I quite agree that an American would struggle. I am quite sure an American would say "like" rather than "fancy". I don't consider Tom Daley inarticulate...merely British. How many participants in this forum fancy Tom Daley?

A Brit.

Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement. "Yeah," said Rob, "would you marry someone who didn't know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?" "No way in hell," said the bartender. "Well," said Rob, "neither would my fiancee."

Surely Tom had his boyfriend's agreement that he come out. They have to understand the likely consequences. The press may make some erroneous reports, but they will eventually get it right.

German?

I agree. He said he still "fancies girls."

Czech?

A man was driving around the back woods of Montana, and saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He knocked on the door; and the owner appeared, telling him the dog is in the backyard. The man walked into the backyard, and saw a nice-looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asked. "Yep," the Lab replied. After the man recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he said "So, what's your story?" The Lab looked up and said, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping." "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies; and now I'm just retired." The man was amazed. He returned to the owner, and asked what he wanted for the dog. "Ten dollars," the owner replied. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."