Mikiesboy

i'm okay... just quiet.. all of you take care xo

hope you guys are all okay

******* WARNING ******* Do not read if you are offended or triggered by references to suicide. I know I am dreaming as I lay in this fog. Sounds fade in and out, echoing as I drift away to other places and lands. I know also time is fleeting and there is very little future ahead of me. This I know to be true. Some truths are self-evident. This is one of those truths. We can deny it, pretend otherwise, wish, rail, scream and beg, but time does not wait. It marches forward and we can think we slow it, but that’s a fool’s errand. Life. We say each is worth living. But is that a truth? No. For many it is not. For too many, life is a slog, a drag to live in poverty and misery. Or if not, perhaps in the hell only mental illness can make. It can be a place of such horror and pain, suicide is a welcoming door. That door has tempted me in the past and still does today. Doctors offer treatment in the form of pills and talk. Often it works for short periods. But lately … lately the pull of that door has become stronger. Lately, I’ve found my hand upon the doorknob. The desire to turn it and step over the threshold is strong and getting stronger. I don’t feel this always. There are times when life is good. Where I see worth in the day and in others. There are projects to finish and to start. But I wonder why? Why do this? What does it matter? The sands of time will cover all and my time here will mean nothing. Sooner than later there will be nothing left of me and those who knew me will disappear also. And yet we strive. I can only suppose it keeps us from thinking about what is to come. While I appreciate you deciding to read this, but there is no need to comment on it.

Thank you.. i'm glad to hear you are both okay. xo

He sits in the living room and i am up in the dining room.. so.. we can do that..LOL. We have watched the first 3 episodes of Raised By Wolves ... the new one directed by Ridley Scott. Oh.. i have enjoyed all of them. We watched the first one and was left wondering ... where the heck can this go now. But the next two were really good. Can't wait for more.

i'm working .. so we wont be doing much.. oh well. it will still be nice.

nope it's the 6th. maybe we did something on the 7th ... we aren't doing much this year for sure

sometime it does grab us by the scruff of the neck and shake us until our bones rattle ... eventually it will let go. Hopefully that is before toilet ice hits you. i have been good this morning.. made baked oatmeal for the one i love, and someone is having a birthday tomorrow so i baked him a pumpkin cake this morning. I just need to keep it away from him until tomorrow.

those are not fun ... hopefully he wont have much more trouble.

i want you to know that this is very far from sh*t. It's rather sophisticated in the use of rhyme, the repeated words are effective and broken up with with brilliant middle line. I like it. Nicely done.

i know you all have had a rough time lately ... i'm sorry for your family xo where did you post this poem? I'd like to read it if you don't mind.

have a good day everyone went to the shrink today. i've been struggling with a few things lately ... but my shrink is a good man with a good sense of humour (tim, you are the reason i need to dye my hair). But he also said when we first met, "When I can be, I'll be sympathetic, however, when you are face down in the mud, me laying down beside you is not going to help you get up." So, i told the thing that happened with someone i loved very much (a friend) and he said: he said he was sorry to hear about what this friend did. He said, i cant fix it, and you cant, time will help. But you can help yourself, by using your meditation and mindfulness that you're learning. When that person comes to mind.. allow it and then realize his choices are out of your control and let it go. You cant change him but you can get control of how you react. So, i guess it will hurt for longer and i'll get used to not having him in my life anymore ... but as i look back at things, i'm not sure now he ever really cared about me that much. Anyway... shit happens and we need to deal with it. i just want all of you to know i am grateful for your friendship and support xoxo

i enjoyed it. Nice to see something new from you.

I'm sorry i can't be around much right now ... i hope you guys will keep this place going... i love you all xoxo

Thank you for reading and sharing, rick. xo

Aw, thanks David. i hope you are well. Thanks for reading nd you comments. If you think it would help.. you can mail it wherever.

hi, Jeffrey, i hope you are doing well. yes, will it's written because our world as it is .. it's very sad. xo

Cheer, chris. i'm glad it worked for you xo

Thanks, dugh. It's nice to hear from you. Hope all is well.

Thanks, Parker. i hope the kids like it. xo

Thank you, molly xo

Thank you, Michael xo

Thank you. I wish people would learn from it. There's just so much hatred.

Thanks Reader, it's a simple view but with few simple solutions. xo

C R A Y O N S You are my brother, no matter our colour I want not to believe the wrongs Plotted and carried out by those who hate But the proof offers no escape You are my brother and all in this box, no matter our colour, are crayons.