Demetz

I like a good tragedy where there are lots of characters and none is necessarily more good or either than the other and at least a couple survive to be happy, but plenty do not.

Yes... that sort of thing severely ignores me and speaks to the quality of sites that use a lot of them. The ads should be visible, but not in your face (pop-up or worse, pop-out ads you have to hunt for the close buttons on) nor should sound be involved. Sound-based ads on websites just annoy people. I make it a point not to buy a thing from any sound based or pop-out ad. Also bad are those ads where you click on a link, then you have to watch the ad for however long before you get to the site you were actually trying to get to. Last, though not as obvious, most the ads here on GA are just fine... but sometimes they can be easily mistaken as an actual site link rather than an ad which can be confusing. As sites go, GA is probably one of the best when it comes to location and quality of the ads... a little tweak here or there might be nice but I haven't seen anything significant enough to raise a stink about... of course my comp is also usually on mute so I haven't heard the ad you're talking about Drew.

As for the decision to run... I'd probably do what I'm sure plenty of politicians do and get the family together, talk with them about it, and after hearing their concerns make the decision from there. I think the only person who would hold an absolute veto in my mind is my boyfriend... maybe our son as well, but I would stilll want input from everyone. As noble as it might sound to refuse to even acknowledge the inevitable slander... I know me well enough to know that I couldn't go on day after day and year after year pretending it wasn't there. At the same time I know my sexuality should be among the least important issues in this hypothetical campaign/career. I think I'd give them a week, maybe two to work their malice, keeping track of every accusation and form a response to counter it. My response would come in one short commercial-length video/sound clip wherein I denounce the deplorable tactics and give a brief explanation of reality, and another half-hour to an hour interview explaining in detail those parts of my life I feel comfortable disclosing... maybe another, unstructured interview where the interviewer is given freedom to ask any question he or she pleases, and from that point forward focus only on the issues that should be important. With the commercial length clip there to remind people that the fundies are lying slanderous bastards and the two interviews to explain that in depth, I don't think doing any more with the subject would be to my gain. An afterthought... The commercial-length clip, the two interviews, and a running track of the slander and my response to it could also be kept on a website so that as new slander comes out it could be responded to without major public appearances to give their slander more attention.

I have often considered the possibility of running for political office. I know that inevitably any run for office would mean my sexuality would be brought up. Today I saw this comment in response to a question "would you vote for someone who is gay" and it irked me enough that I ended up writing out the rest of this blog entry Apparently it nowhere crossed his mind that candidate x's gayness may not be an issue by the choice of candidate x. I happen to be gay, I have a long term relationship with a man. We have a son. Lets say I happen to run for a political office. I will not hide my family, it is ridiculous and insulting to me and to the electorate that I should be expected to - not to mention the inevitable media discovery and scandal that would follow if I attempted to go that route. The media sees a gay political candidate and runs the story: gay man runs for office, has support of loving life partner (or god forbid: husband) and son, followed by a quote from me to the effect of "my sexuality shouldn't have anything to do with this race" and a couple lines each about issues that are important to me, like strengthening the economy, reducing crime, and decreasing the rate of poverty in the city as well as what steps I would take to achieve those goals. Do you know how far the fundamentalist people read? "Gay candidate with a son" is all they would care about. By the following sunday afternoon I would be devil incarnate pedophile whose child should be taken away by the state in the minds of 3/4 of the religious population. That kind of vicious slander would continue throughout the election and probably my entire political career and my son and husband/partner w/e would likewise be attacked through most of their lives. How should I respond to this, or should I respond to it at all? When attempting to answer the last of those two questions, should I respond to it at all, not responding may encourage them to continue and make more vicious verbal assaults on my personal character and that of my family but it may eventually result in them filing the "issue" away in the back of their minds to be fumed upon at some other time and eventually die out altogether. As much as I may hope that last bit would ring true and quickly, the reality is gays have been hated by these people for a very long time and they won't give up that hatred for several if not many generations to come. If I do respond to their accusations a couple things happen: first, and this is the most unfortunate effect, I acknowledge that their assertions are worth responding too but second, I can refute their accusations and make them look like fools and expose them for the malicious people they are... however this has the negative effect of turning my sexuality into an issue which takes away time to address far more important things. Also important to consider is the ethical implications of running for election at all... doing so means my family will be dragged through the mud and not temporarily either if I'm at all successful as a politician. Is it right to drag them through that? So what should I do in this (currently hypothetical) situation? As for how I believe I would respond to this situation... I'll post my own answers later, for now I'm interested in hearing what GA thinks.

Okay, I'm not going to pretend I've always been happy with the way the site has been run. Some things have happened that have severely disappointed me. On the other hand, I love this site, and I have thanked Myr before and I will again for the site's being here and all the work he puts into it to keep it here. This site being here as well as a number of the people who are here have been crucial to me, for getting through rough times, for coming out, for finding a boyfriend I love, love so much that I consider his son to be ours. My life is much better for the existence of gayauthors.org and the people who come here, and I will always be thankful for that. As for people who've said that they'd like to help out but their time is limited, I'm guilty of it... in a way, because I don't really feel that guilty. I don't have time to help out as though this were a full time job. I could work part time though. Do I have the time for four hour mandatory team meetings at a set day of the week? Probably not. This does not mean that there is nothing I could do for the site. As for the stories... I like a lot of them and when its a genre I don't care for... I find something else to read. Simple as that. LOL... reminds me of the time I got a negative review of a poem... because it wasn't a short story :wacko: Why should Myr stay - other than because we want GA to continue to exist? Not everybody hates you, Myr. I certainly don't. The few times I've gotten to talk to you, I always got the impression that you were a pretty cool guy. I'd like you to stay because I like you and I like the site you've built. You absolutely have my appreciation for that.

We're all part of the lease of the dorm. I could get a room transfer but that would just pass this problem on to the next guy. As for me asking them to leave... me telling three people to get room transfers ins't going to pan out very well. In the mean time, they're still smoking the weed in the apartment which puts us all at risk. I still hope with my mother and my grandmother... but I can't spend all my energy on trying to get them to accept me. I have a life to live and I'd like them to be a part of it, but I'm not going to fill my life with trying to get their acceptance. They will or won't and thats their decision to make. I have other goals to strive for, ones which I have more control of.

A few things to go over... I'll start with the more depressing so I can leave off on a high note. Well, I've been out to much of my family for several months now. The only one I can see ever actually accepting me is my dad. With my mother... any time the subject of Silven or the baby comes up I get an icy cold vibe from her. My guess as to why: she's attending a pentecostal church. There is no room in a good pentecostal family for a gay son, much less a gay son's boyfriend and his son - and its pretty clear that's how she intends to view it. My son is not her grandson in her eyes so far as I can tell. I'll warn you now this entry will involve more than a hint of bitterness on my part. I will get over that bitterness though. They can play the part of Ice Queen from here on out it will not change what I feel for Silven, or the warmth in my heart when I see Alexander, our baby. Their frozen hearts will only repel me from them. I keep trying to talk to my grandma. She ends each conversation with something she has to do. Thinking about this I've come to a realization tonight. My grandmother's presence in my life has been consistent: one or two weeks out of the year when she would visit us or we would visit her. In this way she is more a part of my family than my other grandparents (not including my father's father, may he RIP); however, it seems that this was or is the extent of her wish to be involved in my life. I have tried over and over again to talk to her. She will talk for a little while, then come up with a reason to stop. She has to go to bed (really... adults can choose to stay up late once in a while, especially during an important conversation), or she has to go to the store, or she's arranging for her "friend" Jim to come over (Jim has been her 'friend' since as long as I can remember, would not surprise me at all if they had a ****buddy relationship going on, which would embarrass the hell out of her good christian image... especially after two failed marriages... and she dares say we gays are somehow stealing marriage from "them" the good christians). The point is, I her grandson am not particularly important and I her gay grandson am just going through a phase that if she just pretends isn't real will go away. Fine. She can keep playing the fool. She can keep pretending she doesn't hear what I'm saying when i talk to her over the phone. She can pretend she didn't get the pictures I send her via instant messenger when I have the log of transmission right in front of me. She can go ahead and pretend that gay Ash does not exist for all I care at this point. Its her loss. It hurts me to say that, it hurts me to realize that this woman who claims she loves me actually loves a pretend me that isn't who I am, and it hurts me to have to face the probable course I will have to take of likewise pretending she isn't my grandmother. I say I have to take this course because if I keep spending my energy, keep laying my heart open to be ripped up, I won't be able to keep my sanity. I can't and I won't let myself keep getting hurt by her. I fear I will also have to take this approach to dealing with my mom and for that matter, many of those I've called family over the years. My mom wants to be my mom... but its pretty clear she doesn't want to accept that I love Silven and the baby... or maybe not. There's still hope for her, I think, but one of the biggest enemies of that hope is the church. A good pentecostal woman does not encourage their gay son to be gay. Church... its never a good thing with my mom. She starts out by thinking if she goes there she'll be able to fill some void in her heart. She'll go and feel better for a time, then she'll get depressed at what a horrible person she/her family is. With regard to me specifically... its no secret that christians don't have the most open hearts when it comes to gays. I can only hope she quits going to that place and starts thinking to herself instead of letting preachers think for her. She recently attended a baptist service which worried me even more. Baptists don't exactly have a good reputation when it comes to accepting gays. Well, apparently she didn't care for the service because the preacher was babbling on about how evolution really is a religion or some nonsense like that. I honestly hope she quits looking to any church for "guidance" and just examines the facts instead. But hey, I'm a fan of using reasoning to deal with morality rather than abandoning oneself to the concept of an all-powerful all-correct being handing one a book with all the answers in it. Yeah... I'm less than appreciative of religion. I'd rather evaluate religious texts as I would any philosophical essay than pretend the books are divine. They're not. People wrote them. Other people copied them. More people translated them. Every step of the way PEOPLE made decisions about what went into them. People are not infallible (and lets please not get into rather or not god is fallible when his very existence is questionable). The amount of pain caused to families by religion, the amount of violence wrought upon this world by religion is, frankly, disgusting. Would the world be better without religion: hell yes. Note I'm not talking about spirituality. Can meditating or praying help one to reach some internal peace? - absolutely. When I speak of religion though, I speak of dogma and the overriding urge by many religions to force their morality on others. Enough of that subject though. There are enough essays on this already. What I'm going to end up doing, with respect to my family, is a combination of what my dad and his sister did. I'm going to move away. I'm going to take after my father by working hard to be successful in whatever carreer I choose to go with, and do everything I can to help raise our child, Alex, and maybe another child some day. I will take after my aunt in this regard: those members of my family who don't accept me - let them rot. I will still regularly contact my dad and talk with him. I will talk to my mom or grandmother or the others if they call me but will not bend over backwards to try to get them to accept me nor go out of my way to contact them when all it does is reillustrate that they don't want to be a part of my life. I have my own life to deal with and if they don't want to be a part of it because I'm too gay for their christian beliefs to handle then fine. I wish them the best in whatever lives they choose to lead rather I'm welcome in them or not. In other news.... i'm so sick of my roommates right now its ridiculous. Three of them have been smoking weed all semester - in the apartment - and I'm sick of smelling the stuff and sick of wondering what's going to happen when they get caught and my name is on the lease if I don't turn them in. I told them to get rid of the stuff, and they're already smoking it again. They've also stolen from me. I left two cases of water at the apartment before I left for PA, both of them were gone when I got back and the ***holes left the empty case under my bed.... after stealing my hangars (which I've since taken back). Today I got some take out and put it in the fridge, not two hours later i go back and the top of the box has been ripped off and my sandwhich has been eaten. You know what? f**K them. My tolerance for their shit is gone. My patience will hold out... just long enough for them to do the ultimate stupid thing (again) and all go into one of the rooms and start smoking the weed. When they do I will contact the RA, she will have them arrested, and that will be the end of that. Is it a little cutthroat on my part? Maybe. But you know what? You don't do stuff to annoy someone who has that kind of power and you damned sure don't leave him stranded at the airport when you said you were going to pick him up! What was their excuse? Too high. Another room mate told me that was a lie and he was just being a jackass. Well congratulations jackass, you've arranged for your own damned deportation. Did I mention one of them is here from Brazil on a student Visa? My roomates are disgusting. The bathrooms are beyond redemption, nasty beyond belief. There was an inch wide shitring in the toilet (until I cleaned it) and the sink looked like it belonged in an abandoned gas station rather than an appartment with five people. The mirror is covered in some nasty film I don't want to even guess at. The shower? the floor is so disgusting you have to put your sandals on before you step out of it or you're likely to pick up bioweapon grade bacteria before you get back to your room. The Kitchen? I don't use it because I have a meal plan. Good thing to because I sure as hell am not cleaning that smelly disaster. The refrigerator? -Likewise the probable nesting ground of bioweapon grade bacteria. Absolutely, unforgivably disgusting. Did I mention they drip? When they pee, the last couple drops or so drip on the floor. Guess whats never been cleaned up? Yuck. I know I said I was going to leave off on a high note, and I was going to talk about a couple of very nice things, but I'm worked up already about the bad stuff so I'll save the good for another blog entry.

Just posted this yesterday....

Thought some of you might be interested in lighting a candle here. For every candle lit one dollar will be donated by Bristol-Myers Squibb up to $100,000. The site already tallies the number of candles lit at over 189,000, but its still a nice show of support to light a few more. www.LightToUnite.org/index.aspx?email_link=lighttounite

So Yesterday after I got out of class I noticed a flyer about a lecture to be held regarding "The hundred Languages of Children." Well, being only a few weeks away from co-fatherdom I decided I'd drop in on that lecture, thinking it was going to be about children... what with the topic being the hundred languages of children.... as you can probably tell, for the most part it had very little to do with children. It was mildly interesting to down right sleep inducing to watch Mr. Pence talk about his work with aboriginals to form an education system they would be happy with, but considering for the most part it had very little to do with the topic at hand I was none too pleased. Then I looked at the program and saw it was to be two hours long. I was very displeased but too polite to walk out right then and there. Eventually the speaker wrapped his way back around to the topic, about how children should be allowed to be children, enjoying the wondrous surroundings and so forth... something it hardly takes however many decades of study this man put into it to realize. Then came the question and answer period and the first question I cringed... immediately reminded of how childish an adult can be... in fact... adults seem quite worse than children could ever hope to be at times. After this long wonderfully boring lecture the only thing that was on this questioner's mind was how horrible it is to accomodate statewide standardized testing in the classroom. What an ass to bring this up in a lecture where it was not even vaguely touched on and had nothing to do with the man's work nor the work mentioned by the other two speakers. What's going to follow is my counterrant to all the teachers in this state raving about standardized testing. I was raised in the Virginia Beach City Public School system, where I was faced with standardized testing nearly from the beginning. As early as third grade I was filling out bubble sheets (though these were graded by hand), in fourth grade i took the Iowa test, in fifth I took stanford 9, which popped up again here and there over the years. Took the STAR reading/rithmatic tests, all these were assessment tests which IIRC had no affect on me passing or not, but had me numb to the concept of standardized testing by the time I reached the SOLs that did. For those unfamiliar with SOL meaning anything besides shit outta luck, The SOLs were standards of learning tests designed to make sure that students weren't getting free rides through their classes. They were all multiple choice tests on which a student could take as much time as he or she pleased to remember whatever info was being requested. These tests were for all non-elective classes except English, Which meant for history, math, and science classes you were greeted with an SOL at the end. I tooko IIRC three of these in middle school for high school courses I'd taken then, and both years I attended Virginia high schools. Had I not moved I'd also have taken the literacy passport test, which as with all the others I was equally unconcerned about and which the teachers showed only a vague concern for. What I noticed in moving to Florida is the huge difference in attitude about standardized testing. In VA, the teachers took an approach to it as if the test were just in the normal flow of things, that it ought really not concern them too much because it only tested material which they were supposed to be teaching anyway. They absolutely did not ever project their fear onto the students, even though some showed a vague annoyance, they were confident in themselves and their students and with that attitude the students at the schools I attended were likewise confident. In Florida the atmosphere is entirely different. Teachers are angry, frustrated, and often project the fear of failure onto students who likewise get anxious about the testing. They seemed and as I'm finding now four years after moving to florida, still seem to expect their students to fail. Now... I didn't come in at the lower levels of the florida education spectrum, so I can't speak to the actual difficulty of the tests which younger students dealt with, but at the high school level there is one standardized test, the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test or FCAT. This test was not really that difficult and could be taken twice a year until passed. I came in with zero preparation for it, in fact with counter preparation from having come from a state with different standards and a different approach to learning as well as what should be learened, took it, passed with ease and was highly confused at the views others were taking on it. The FCAT isn't a monster. It tests a students ability to read and write... using questions the likes of which I'd seen since at least the third grade, questions like "what's the main idea of this paragraph." When it came to the math end, I was at a disadvantage because apparently fl puts considerably more focus on geometry... but they also supplied all the necessary formulas so knowing algebra this was not too much of a problem. The other thing they put more focus on was pencil to paper math... for years at that point, anything that could be done on the calculator had been done on the calculator, so it took a few minutes to get readjusted to that which I considered to be archaic mentality. If I an outsider could come in and pass this test with no preparation and no worry... why are those who had been preparing for it for years as worried as they are? The answer, I believe, lies in the attitudes of those who are supposed to be preparing them. I find it highly unprofessional of those teachers to handle things the way they have. Their worry about the test should never have been projected onto the students, worry should never have been hinted at by the teachers. Their job is to teach, and to create an environment where learning is to occur. All the pretty pictures, posters, and sheets of colored paper in the world won't do a damned bit of good if they hold an attitude of failure when it comes to the essential part of their work. Confidence in the students' abilities should always be projected, even with those who are struggling it is the confident will of a teacher to work with that student, to show that student that someone believes in him or her and will work with that student because they know that student can achieve the goals set. Instead what I saw was whining about having to teach to a test, about how learning shouldn't have anything to do with apparently knowing the material, and, frankly, stupid things being brought up. "What if the student just has a bad day when they have to take the test?" - answer... they'll have ample opportunity to retake the test then. What I find most disturbing about the FCAT has nothing at all to do with the actual test. Rather, I find it diturbing that so many teachers believe their students would fail. I find it more disturbing that they would show that belief to the students. I find it more disturbing still that so many teachers would be so unprofessional about it as to discuss their hatred for the tests openly and at length with the students when they should be easing the students' worries. Students have enough to deal with when it comes to their own anxiety about tests, they don't need their teachers' anxiety too. ~Deme

Same here

Many thanks for all the work you do, Joe! The site wouldn't be right with out you.

Last night, some of you may have witnessed me throwing a bit of a temper tantrum and a subsequent pity party. I believe it went something along the lines of "f**kING f**k f**k BANK OF AMERICA THoSE SHITS" followed whimpering as I tried to pull myself together and deal with the situation. What happened: I had the perfect itinerary and at a cost just meeting my budget. The problem was I did not have enough money actually in the bank at the time, so I had to make a deposit. Unfortunately, they only gave me credit for half of that deposit until it was too late to book that flight. The flight itself had disappeared from the online databases at priceline, travelocity, and USAir, and nothing approximating it was available anywhere else. Well... I found other times that could work for me among various carriers, unfortunately the cost was too high. Finally I called USAir and asked them about the flights... they confirmed they could put me on them... for a hundred dollars more than the price listed just one day before. I was having a bit of a panic attack at that time, trying to figure out how to work this. Finally I decided to go ahead and call Silven to try to figure out a new itinerary. Having got ahold of him I brought Priceline back up and put in the information for the flight I was looking for. I did a double take. I found an itinerary for a flight I had looked at earlier but had decided against in favor of one that would cut three hours out of my flight time. Now I'll be arriving at 930pm instead of 615pm, but at least I'll be there on the day that I want to be. The kicker.... I had just been on the phone with someone from USAir who told me there was nothing cheaper than 387, not but a few minutes before I redid my priceline search. Now I've got it at 243 (the original quoted price) and for the days I need. I'd just like to give a big **** you to the folks at Bank of America for holding my funds without cause, the folks at USAir for upping the price of the flight I wanted by a hundred dollars after one day, and the special jerk who lied to me on the phone. I'd also like to thank Silven for bearing through my foolishness of not depositing the money sooner. ~Deme

what makes you think that?? Its showing up as a green face sticking out its tongue....

Uh... Nick? I think that might be the wrong pic...

Parents can be extraordinarily foolish at times. This appears to be one of them. Good luck on the move out, Joe, someone who works as hard as you do doesn't deserve all the crap you're getting and if it had been me it would have been real hard not to tell her right then "No, I'm trying to get as far away from you as I can because you're treating me as though I'm fourteen without any reason. I work my ass off, and I will continue to regardless of the idiotic rules you're making, and where our relationship goes from here is up to you, because if you want to treat me like shit you can expect I'll have little wish to have anything to do with you at all as soon as I can get away. I'm your son and I have to follow your rules due to my current circumstances. Those circumstances will change soon, and rather or not you'll still have a son may change with them. All you're doing now though, is pushing me away. Don't be surprised when you needn't push anymore because I'm gone." Yeah... it'd be harsh, and would probably result in some backlash, but like I said, it would be her choice to have a son or not, and the choices she's making are the sort which do nothing but damage your relationship.

So yesterday I was going to class and in front of the building stood two crazies. One had tied a cross to himself from which hung a sign. One side said "Turn or burn" the other said something to the effect of "Jesus: your savior or judge?" Perhaps I'm mistaken but it appears that last one is a bit contradictory and the former rather counterproductive. Regardless, their rantings, ravings, and random insults to passing students was quite amusing - as were the cops who showed up when they were drawing a crowd. Especially amusing parts: +Christian students telling him he was an embarrassment and his subsequent raving +One of them put on a sign and looked at one of the students and just started talking to them... "Hello, how are you, my name is ----. How are you today. You have poor manners. You should work on your personality because your's sucks" I went on to class, dropped off my stuff, came back and watched. Definitely worth it. In other news... my first exam I got a 30/30 on... which means I'm guaranteed about 40% of my grade for the class now. Whats left is the second exam and a research paper, each also worth 30 points each. My second exam I got a 79.5 on... which came out to a B+ by his grading scale. There are a few people who need to be on their knees for the professor in that class. The exam was out of 100 points... someone got a 35... for which they received a C. I'll say that again... a 35% got this person a C. Wow. I can see curving grades a bit but this guy was basically given credit for 40% more knowledge than he had. I won't know the grade on my third exam for a couple weeks yet, and my fourth doesn't take place until the coming Tuesday. My American Foreign Policy professor is a douchebag. He gave us a huge exam review, but fifty five of the questions on the exam will have nothing at all to do with it. In addition to those questions are 16 matching and two essays. All of this he expects us to finish in about 75 minutes. The essays alone will probably take that long. Mind you now, the time limit is not because the class has to leave after that time... its a three hour class. What-an-ass. ~Dem

So my mom flew in to Kansas City Missouri to visit her family a few weeks ago. She managed to not tell my grandmother about me being gay and having a boyfriend for the entire trip... almost. This morning they printed off a bunch of the pictures on her camera and among them was one of Silven. My grandmother asked who he was... my mom said he was a friend of mine; she asked how we knew each other, mom said we met over the internet; she asked what we had in common and.. .well... my mom doesn't know much about Silven to answer that question. Anyway... she kept asking questions and mom eventually told her I'm gay and that the young man in the picture is my boyfriend. Apparently she talked with mom for some time and at some point said that this doesn't change that she loves me - thats good - but she's still a bit in shock/disbelief over it. I tried to call her a few minutes ago but no one picked up the phone... I'll try calling again later tonight. I have to say that this whole explaining to people that I'm gay thing is getting old. ~Demetz

Something has crossed my mind rather frequently lately - Gays need to just pack up and go. All of us.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .....to Montanna. Why? -Montanna has one of the lowest populations in the county and IIRC from 8th civics class its the only state in the union with a population low enough that it has fewer representaives than it does senators. If Gay people move to Montanna en masse we could easily grab up those two senate seats and depending on just how many move, might be able to nab not only the house seat but get more after the next census. What's still key is those two senate seats though since 2/100 rates quite a bit better than 1/435 or even 5/435. We'd finally have a real voice in national politics and hell with control over a state we may as well turn Montanna into gay Utopia.

Okay... first, you really need understand the concept of context. Words have different meanings and you figure out what meaning is meant by the context in which the word is used. Democracy is used in the general sense of a government based on freedom of the people via the people's control of government. There are varying degrees as to how it is employed, but democracy is the catch word in modern society. Second, Bush hasn't gone out of his way to ban gay marriage because it ranks relatively low on his priorities for political capital expenditure, but he does support the lunatics who do. As the president he took an oath to uphold the constitution which includes the separation between church and state as it is outlined in the first amendment - "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". It is the right of the people to believe whatever they want about marriage and it has been a part of his agenda to assert certain beliefs with clear religious connotation upon those who care not for it. He has willfully participated in the rallying of congress members to violate the constitution to that effect. So yes, he has indeed tried to ban gay marriage. Did he go about it half-assed? Yes, but he has tried. I supported the invasion, and he may or may not have smuggled wmds off to syria but we have found the bioweapons labs and caches of chemical weapons as well as numerous delivery devices he agreed not to have at the end of the first Gulf war. The war itself was brilliantly executed, yes, but this occpation was absolutely pathetic. I'd rather go through the steps of kill dictator, watch the chaos that follows, repeat as necessary every ten years. It would certainly be a hell of a lot cheaper. I see where you're coming from, but there is no way to know either that the terrorist being tortured knows anything in the first place, or that he's a terrorist to start with. If, as you mentioned, he happens to have been captured while engaged in combat with American troops then we may be able to verify he's a terrorist, but not that there's any information in his head. The way cells are structured is such that as little information as possible is carried by the members therein, precisely to avoid the compromisation of that information. They can't tell you what they don't know, which results in torture without any purpose but the torturer's sadism. This aside, there's also the issue that the President now has the authority to declare anyone he pleases to be an enemy combatant, and make them disappear into a cozy little torture chamber. We the people are not exempt, we the people are now subject to the whim of one man while the semblance of democratic government that remains is composed (currently) mostly of his party. We the people are on the verge of becoming they, the tools and disposable property of the US government. Don't get me wrong here, I'm all for killing terrorists. I just find it reprehensible that the man in charge of doing so has spent most of his time killing the constitutional rights of american citizens. I don't know her circumstances or exactly what it was that passed between you two, but while I see terrorists who want to kill me, I'm also wary of the President who supports those here at home who also want to kill me and very unhappy about the fact that should they get into power... well, they view you, me, and everyone like us as national security threats since they believe god will smite the country because of us. How long do you think it would be before we'd get rounded up and either executed on the spot or sent to "reeducation" camps. I'm all for fighting terrorists. I'm also entirely against giving power to people who will use it against me. That includes this president, and likewise his friends. Morality isn't measured by how much money you throw at people. Liberty is a principle, among several others that this nation was founded upon. Whats make America great is that it can change, recognize the mistakes of a long legacy of prejudice and cease reproducing those mistakes. "Torture = bad" is not a new concept, its one that was figured out hundreds of years ago and abolished by every freedom inclined country. We're taking a step backwards, becoming worst than we were before, not better. That is fundamentally bad for humanity and we as Americans are the ones who will suffer the consequences of it. Then ought we not kill them back rather than destroying our own principles? I remember that the theocrats at home are as bad as the ones abroad and the fact that their supporters carry a considerable portion of the vote reminds me that I don't want the government having the kind of power where when they get it they use it to round me up and torture me.

A lot of times people use poetry to convey their inner feelings so its definitely worth it to talk to him, see if he's feeling particularly low lately and be there to listen if he needs someone to talk to about it, or to hold him if he needs that. Do some people write poetry "in character" so to speak, yes, but its still a good idea to talk to him and see whats going on.

Yes! I finally got my computer back! *does a happy dance Okay, so a couple months ago my videocard burnt out. If I had money, it could have been fixed in two days. I didn't have money, so I had to go out and get some... finally got the money and everything all ready, sent it in, and have it back again! I can finally start writing again and of course, I'll be dropping by chat much more often now. I'm officially a part of the community again. ~Deme

My parents are being accepting of my relationship with Silven, but I gather from things that my father says that were Silven and I to ever break up, he would push me to start dating women instead. Things he's said when we're discussing politics being something to the effect of "I still don't approve of the lifestyle" ... but, this line goes hand in hand with something to the effect of "its bull**** for two people who have been living together all their lives to be barred from seeing eachother in hospitals because they're not legally married as family." He may never fully accept what Silven and I have, but I know he's trying, and I am certainly willing to work with that. Who knows... if Silven and I ever did break up I might try out the double x side of humanity, but for now, for the forseeable future, and for any hypothetical future I can imagine having, I wish to spend my life with Silven - Pat Robertson, Buchanans Pat and Verne, Fallwell, Harriss and all the other creepy-crawlies of the fundamentalist cults be damned.

I'll need a couple more to finish the job, Tim Hehe... love the feel of the clothes against my bare skin! ... and its up to Silven rather or not you get that pic, I took it for him and for now its his alone, entirely up to him rather it stays that way.

I Have to say that a person can never fully comprehend the sheer amount of surface area there is to the human body... until they attempt to shave it. I just spent three hours in the tub and went through three razors... and I'm still not finished. Got m upper arms, shoulders, chest, stomach, what I could reach on my butt, and my my legs north of my knees. On the agenda tomorrow: what I can reach of my back and my lower legs. Day three comes the touch ups and hopefully day four onward will just be maintenance. There are some interesting things you notice when spending so long shaving in the tub.... 1) After I had shaved the upper portion of my chest the tub had filled up enough that I slipped down into it and since the water was as yet not too clouded by the run off from shaving gel, it was very cool seeing the contrast between the shaved area and the the hair lower on my stomach. Shaving these parts under the water, I could see the hair fly up before the razor... watching this was a very interesting experience, taking the time to take it all in. I watched this thing that is my body in the same way as I gaze at the incredible skylines I'm so often privileged to see. I also thought the same word of description that I use with those scenes, beautiful. I know this sounds ridiculous and to the passing observer it would seem like no big deal, but I was watching myself in a way I haven't before. It felt good. I feel good about myself physically. That is something I didn't feel much when growing up, in fact, I didn't feel good about the way I looked ... ever, really from childhood on up through mid teens. As a late teen I felt better, but this is really the first time I've looked at my nude form and thought good about myself. 2) Shaving the hair off really does show off the muscle. Damn I'm sexy! 3) I knew this before, but there's nothing quite like shaving to make it absolutely clear, legs are BIG! It took me longer to do just the upper part of each leg than it did to do my upper arms, shoulders, chest, and stomach. Was also interesting contoring my figure to see the back of my thighs so I could do a better job and... for the first time I layed there admiring my own curves. For most of this, I have Silven to thank, I would never feel so good about myself... emotionally, physically, totally... if not for his love. I love you Silven ... was so difficult when I got up and looked in the mirror not to yell for my brother to get the camera... Well.. I suppose it isn't fair to say this much and not give you a picture of what I looked like before... So ask Silven! He'll know which one I'm talking about