Demetz

The problem I have with nifty is not that there is quite a lot of smut, but rather that most of it is written by authors that seem a cross between brain damaged monkeys and the worst porn director ever. There is absolutely no quality control. You're just as likely to find a story about someone with a fetish for a toe up the ass as you are anything resembling real human interaction. They can also be pretty hit-or-miss when it comes to classifying the stories by genre... I recall perusing the gay sci-fi section and finding to my disgust a story that had nothing to do with science fiction and instead was about a guy who gets raped by wolves, not werewolves, just plain wolves. Accordingly, I can't bring myself to post anything on nifty that I feel really attached to. Still, weighing this against the wide readership is there some kind of medium to be worked out? Yes. Treat nifty like the smuthouse it is. Write high quality smut and post it there, with a crosslink back here to the rest of your stories that may or may not involve as much erotic content. That way you can improve the quality of the nifty smuthouse while still attracting readers here who are looking for the higher quality stories.

There's always a clause stating that the bank has the right to change the terms from whatever they are to whatever they want them to be with the provision that the customer may "opt out" of the new terms... in which case the account is closed and the customer may continue paying the minimum payments or more as they please until the account is paid in full. They gave advanced notice of what they intend to do and emphasized the opportunity for me to opt out of the change in terms. The high credit limit is the only reason I'm keeping the account open, even if it will maintain a balance of zero for the indefinite future. Their legal asses are covered and there is no lawsuit in waiting. If nothing else, at least my ego is satisfied that they are no longer going to make any money off little me and when I get the new rainbow endowment card I can turn everything I buy, hell even my rent, into a benefit for the GLBT cause.

Update: I did some card shopping. It seems fixed rates are pretty much a thing of the past... there was one card I could have gotten through my credit union with a fixed rate that would match my current variable rate with chase but it had a minimum balance limit of 5000... which I doubt I would be approved for given all my other open lines of credit. What I did find though was that Bank of America was offering a card with a variable rate matching what Chase was offering me and even better... every purchase helps to support the Rainbow Endowment which in turn supports a lot of GLBT organizations. It also comes with one of those nifty 0% intro APRs for a year. Since I already had a credit account with bank of america that I wasn't using, they closed that account to open this one, with a balance limit $200 higher so for the next year I'm set better off than I was anyway.

Yeah, like I said, I'm sure they covered their legal asses... and I'm sure that their analysts decided that the profit they would make from increased rates from people who couldn't afford to immediately pay off their balance combined with the cash infusion they would get from angry customers who could, would be just the thing the company needs and that they don't really care whether I personally remain a customer. Still, writing them an angry letter made me feel better Something else that will make me feel better... every time I've paid off a credit card I would start getting these balance transfer checks in the mail with a letter begging me to use the card again. Now instead of throwing them away I can mail them back with a note offering to use the card if they will honor the original terms of a fixed rate. Also, I would have closed the card if it only had a balance of a thousand on it... but this card has the highest balance limit of all my cards so closing it would actually hurt my credit score.

Tiger, in this case their bottom line will be eaten away at. Previously they were collecting money from me for indentity theft protection and credit score checking services, which were pure profit for them. Now they won't get that, so that will be drop in their profit. Additionally, like James said, my account is going to become a permanent loss to them, even if a very small one, because it will still technically be open and it costs to keep records for it even if there's no activity on the account. Its not much and I know they're just going to brush me off... in fact i already got a reply telling me if i don't like it then they don't need me as a customer. I don't care... they can brush me off like an ant if they want to... I still get to bite them first, even if its just a barely noticeable sting to them.

When I got back from visiting my parents for Thanksgiving I received a letter in the mail from my credit card company, which happens to be Chase Bank. Within this letter was a notice of change in terms to my account. There I learned that apparently Chase and I have very different ideas of what a fixed rate means. The card I signed up for was to have a fixed APR of 6.99%, now they were revoking this and replacing it with a variable rate which was already bumped up three points higher. I realize and understand that a card with a 9.99% APR is still lower than the lowest rate around, but if that rate is not fixed, it means nothing to me and I will not trust the bank to leave it there. Furthermore, when I read along to the part which was supposed to explain why, it stated that it was to increase profit. That was all. I had not ever missed a payment, or even been late. I wasn't anywhere near the balance limit - in fact I had previously ran up a balance $700 higher and paid it off. I was furious and insulted by what amounts to a bait and switch... "here's a "fixed" low interest rate... okay now that you've bought stuff with the card we're taking that away to make more profit." This is an abuse of their position of power as a large banking institution and it is a case of midirection in advertising. I would not stand for it, so I sat down instead. I tried calling their customer service line and what they told me was that it had nothing to do with me, it was out of my hands and due to the poor economy. I might have believed that a year ago when the banks were begging for taxpayer bailouts, but not now. When I told him I still felt this was ridiculous he told me I had the ability to "opt out" of the change in terms, in which case my account would be closed. I told him he needed to pass it up the line that instead of making profit their company was going to end up losing customers. I also told the customer service rep I would take a couple days to consider my options. Well, I've considered them. 9.99% is lower than the lowest rates being offered even for "good" cards so I've decided to pay off the card, but keep the account open. I may not make a lot of money, and its not very comfortable for me to pay off the card, but I did it anyway. I'm also cancelling the idprotection and credit report services I was paying for each month and was previously willing to pay for because of the low interest rate. They may be the big bad powerful bank but I'm not the helpless consumer they think I am. I was choosing to keep that balance due to my preference for having more available cash. Now the balance is scheduled to be paid off tomorrow morning and their ability to make profit off my account will be gone with it. Righteously indignant as I am about all this, I wrote this letter to their customer service department:

So last night I had this guy come over. We go out to dinner at applebees for their 2 for 20 special and have nice and ranging conversation... then we go back to my place and for the next couple hours our hands are all over each other but we keep our pants on... Actually... I could give a very thorough and exciting description of all the foreplay that went on between us, but instead I'm going to skip all that and say that at about 2am I asked if he wanted to spend the night or head home... he wanted to spend the night so we dispensed with pants and snuggled up together - he slept happily in my arms and that was very nice... surprisingly I didn't really have trouble sleeping that way. Also, his neck is now covered in hickeys. Both sides of it, and there could have been more... so many more >_> He's a music major at the University of South Florida, he plays violin, and he is also studying to become an interpreter for the deaf. He comes off as a little shy and he blushes in this really cute way. So far, I like him This morning I cooked us some eggs for breakfast and I take a shower and get all dressed up for an interview I had this morning. Instead of me taking a bus to my interview we made out on my bed for an extra half hour or so. Turns out me in a suit and tie was huge turn on for him. Eventually I get to my interview and I make a very good impression and I get offered the job. Now I just have to decide if I want to take it... the newspaper ad said 6-800/wk for pay, which I could live off okay. Turns out they're basing that off expected sales commissions. I'd be working for something of a subcompany for ADT doing door to door sales for them. Apparently its a $225 commission for each sale I make. If I were to do even two a week I'd be much better off than I am now... and the lady who interviewed me was very imressed with me. She's convinced that I have a level of charm that will go very well with the job and apparently I look like someone people can trust. It would be a big decision for me to take this job because there's no guaranteed pay when its commissions based... but then I'm also eligible to go into the manager trainee position which does get a base pay. The operation of the business works something like this - the sales team meets at the offfice, everyone gets in a bus and we head off to the community we'll be selling in at around noon and we're back by around 8pm. I've got to think in 40 hours a week in door to door sales I'd have to come up with at least two a week (which would practically double my current pay)... but I still hesitate because of the lack of guarantee.... yet, i'm not making much working at the restaurant right now anyway.... gaaaaaah! You can see I'm torn on it. So...okay, here's the plan. I'm going to go ahead and accept the job with a couple conditions - I'd start out part time, just two or three days a week - the days I'm not already working at the restaurant. After seeing how it goes and if it goes well, I'll switch gears and work full time for the security company and work only a couple days a week at the restaurant, that way if things fall through I'll still have my job with the restaurant to fall back on. *plays with spreadsheet budget* Come to think of it....even 2 sales a week would mean i could afford my current standard of living plus a car. And the three sales a week they say is what their new employees normally make would give me a good 900/month extra. Here's to hoping this will be my big break!

Personally... I do have body hair, and sometimes I'll take the clippers and trim it very short, other times I'll go months even years without trimming it at all. I think guys who get bent out of shape about it are making a big deal out of nothing either way. So a guy has some fur on him, big deal - it can be trimmed off.. and I don't see what the big deal is about getting it trimmed off. You can buy a set of clippers for like 7 dollars and in no time be rid of it. I don't understant why some hairy guys throw a big fuss over it because its not like its gone forever... the stuff grows back. If you don't like the look then in a couple months you'll be your hair old self again. On the flip side... even if you aren't normally attracted to guys with body hair... if you fall in love with the person, then you may come to like their body hair too. It just shouldn't be that big of an issue.

A few pictures here....

"Oh and ANOTHER guy started chatting me up, saying I should go running with him, WTF!" He wants your booty!

If I'm attracted to a guy and that's mutual, then over the course of the first date I try to gauge whether they are a decent human being. If so... I'm typically up for a good sexing. On the other hand if I'm not so attracted or they give me reason to think they are of questionable character, I'll pass. One time I had an amazing date with someone, felt all the right chemistry, hadn't even cuddled yet and just wanted claim him right there in the video store but at the same time having that much attraction to him also set off a light in my head that said "don't f**k this one on the first date, he's a keeper! - Make it last!" ... well we had a great time cuddling with the movie, kissing and all that good stuff, we probably would have fallen asleep cuddling each other if he didn't have to be at work the next day and he left... sadly never to return. You see it seems he also was getting a ping on his 'this could be a relationship' sensor and that scared him because he didn't feel ready for a relationship. Its really sad too... if he had been willing to go with it I have no doubt he'd be my boyfriend right now instead of being homeless >_> Wow did that ever get off track. Umm.... Oh yeah, I'll have sex on a first date if I'm into a guy... but if I'm really really into him.. i'll attempt to wait for a second date... but who knows if he had stayed that night whether I could have restrained myself from diving into those pants of his >_>

You may want to also explain just what a cabaret is for the vocabularically challenged

Haha, okay so maybe not yet but with last night.... Well I'll start at the beginning. The beginning of yesterday, anyway. Yesterday was a Tuesday, my day off, so I had lots of free time and its also the day I do my best to find myself a date. During the day time I went out and took the Florida Criminal Justice Basic Abilities Test. While I was there I decided to go ahead and start the PASS process, which when complete will put me into the candidate pool for law enforcement agencies across all of Pinellas County (the county where I live) and I figured why not? My actual goal, though, is to get into the Hillsborough county sherrif's office. Hillsborough is on the otherside of Tampa bay and home to the city of Tampa, itself. The Hillsborough Sherriff's department offers to pay the way of trainees through the police academy and even pays them a wage on top of that... $17.63/hr. I have no doubt in my mind I would excel at the academy and graduate toward the top if not at the very top of my class. The academy lasts about six months and once through it there would be another month of on the job training and after that I would be a full Law Enforcement Deputy for the Hillsborough Sherrif's office - a position which comes with a $45,000/ year salary. Living as I am essentially in a state of poverty, you can imagine how much that job would mean to me. In any case, after I got home from doing something productive with my life it was time to try to do something fun. So I logged into adam4adam and as usual I wasn't really expecting a whole lot but maybe get someone to come over watch a movie, do the deed and be on with it. There was a guy who I had noticed a couple times before, very cute and with a profile that matched what I was looking for on most of the important points... versatile in bed, doesn't smoke, drinks socially but not often, doesn't do drugs... and he looked like he radiates hotness. Well I had talked with him a couple times before and tonight I asked if he would like to come over. He agreed and I cooked a pizza, timing it to be ready for him to be here. When he arrived I had an immediate attraction to him. As we talked and got to know each other a little better, that attraction just got stronger. I can't remember all the details exactly but I do remember him mentioning that he has had to move around quite a lot and he's not entirely thrilled about that instability. Apparently he also had a very bad relationship with someone who was very abusive, and at this point he's not really looking for a relationship but I got the feeling from him that if he found someone worth having a relationship with, he wouldn't hesitate once he was sure of the guy. After pizza we headed out to get some movies and wandered through a hollywood video. We talked a lot and I picked out four of them for $20 since I've been trying to expand my dvd collection. I was amazed by just how attracted I was to him... not just in a sexual sense either. I wanted to come up and give him a big hug and cuddle him right there in the video store but I knew it was still too soon. As I thought about it I began to realize... this wasn't someone I could only see being friends with. This was someone I could see possibly being boyfriends with. Not just an occasional hookup, but I could possibly have a sincere relationship with him. I resolved at that point not to burn myself by moving too quickly. We got back to my place and I got it all set up, made some popcorn and turned out the lights, and we cuddled up and watched the movie together... after a while we started kissing and holy gawd is he ever a good kisser! Just about everything he did fell right in line with in line with what my body likes and the one thing he did which wasn't on my normal list of 'lets do this' ... well, I could get used to it if he's into that, haha. The thing is... you have no idea how proud I was of myself and just what an accomplishment it was for me that we both kept our pants on. For a guy I was that attracted to, and who I really would like to have sex with... I decided I really would rather wait a few dates and get to know each other better so that when the time came it really would be an exchange not just of pleasure and fluid but also of emotion. He ended up having to leave, even though I could tell he didn't really want to, because he had to be up to go to work today... and in a way I was a little relieved because that meant not having to worry anymore if I could continue to resist the temptation to take off all our clothes, haha. His personality fits what I'm looking for, if our cuddle and hump-through-clothes session is anything to judge by his sexual pallate is right up my alley, and he is just so damn cute and cuddlable! I so very much want to see him again and from the messages we exchanged this morning online I think he feels the same. So yeah... i may not be ready to settle down with him just yet and we're definitely a ways off from that but I could see that possibility and I'm glad for it. He mentioned wanting to go to the beach... I have a feeling that will be our next date

I just got done watching a movie called "Boy Culture" ... I enjoyed it even i don't care for all the hustling... still a few good points were made here and there. I ended up reflecting a bit on myself as I watched it and came across a scene where they're talking about the stages of being gay. In stage 1, you've just come out to yourself and you have this romantic idea of not being a slut and meeting another guy who is also not a slut and living happily ever after with him. My stage 1 lasted a little over a year or so and since then I've been transitioning to... Stage 2: Playtime. If a guy looks cute, can at least talk somewhat smoothly then its playtime. I'm dating around a bit, trying to meet new guys, so far i've had one MAJOR bust but we'll get to that later. The point is i'm on the gay market and while im no hustler for cash I do like good company and I'm a very affectionate guy in return for that. Eventually I'll be on my way to... Stage 3: When enough wild oats have been sewn and its time to look into getting really serious and settle down. However.... I sincerely doubt I'll meet that guy for some time and in the meantime its time to make the most of stage 2. So far I've had one MAJOR bust... July 3 I have a guy over... I'd seen him before and been disappointed then because he had already 'finished' before i so much as had my pants down... to be fair i was giving him some....attention at the time, but still he finished and that was it... he put his clothes back on and left me to finish myself. I was disappointe and tired but willing to give him another shot because I thought he was probably just embarrassed at ... finishing so soon. Well he came over july 3rd we worked out a little showered, and made our way back to the bed and it was shortly after that I discovered despite ample opportunity to take care of such things while in the shower and had not bothered to clean himself properly downstairs. And he wanted me to rim him. Gross. I wouldn't do it and just kept pushing his ass out of my face every time he stuck it there. We get around to the part where im supposed to be in him and I was still a bit turned off but I wasn't going to just send him home because he'd probably just get lost again and i didn't want that on my conscience. So after stretching him appropriately I put on the condom and start doing my thing.... and he ... finishes, without bothering to warn me at all that he was even close so I was quite a ways off. There's ways to salvage that though, you know? I toss the condom clean myself off and maybe it was wrong of me? - I expected he would be the one to get me to orgasm that night. No-go. I ended up finishing myself off and I do not kid you at all when I say I would rather have used the condom in conjunction with a plastic grocery bag and my pillow instead for a more pleasurable, clean, and cuddlable evening. I did the gentlemanly thing though and at least cooked breakfast for him the next morning before closing the door on this dirty guy, who I will not be responding to ever again. Moral of this story: Look, I've bottomed before, I had the courtesy to make sure I was clean first inside and out and I made damn sure I was clean as could be if I was going to be rimmed. If whoever im with can't show me enough respect to make sure he's clean, i don't want to be with him. I do have better news though. On Tuesday I was talking with this 26 y/o Asian guy online... we ended up going out to see transformers 2 - loved the movie, btw. At first I wasn't sure if he was really into me at all... I brushed my leg up against his a little during the movie ... you know all that subtle unsubtlety that comes along with the earliest stages in finding out if a guy is into you... I wasn't getting much off him at that point though so I started thinking, 'well if nothing else, I've made a friend' ... he paid for my ticket too, which wasn't necessary but still very nice of him. After the movie I was a bit hungry so I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere to get something to eat, we ended up driving around all over the southern half of pinellas county looking for a place that was open late and settled in on an applebee's. He had a couple beers, I had a mudslide (damn are those ever delicious!) and he loosened up a bit as we got to know each other a bit better there. We went back to my place and kissed and cuddled for a while before I was treated to the BEST oral of my life. We actually ended up going back to his place since he has a bigger bed and after getting good and comfourtable, welll to keep this from getting too pornographic lets just say we got to it that night and the next morning and he was walking funny for the next couple days. I'm not really seeing hearts and roses there but a friend and cuddle/f**kbud? Definitely. The great thing is... he's a 26 year old professor of business at a major University, he's lived a bit, very intelligent and though he's not verry happy with his job he's got a job that pays pretty well which is more than i can say for myself. He's not an idiot, not desperately trying to force himself to fall in love, not a smoker (sorry those of you who do but thats a turn-off)... and he's CLEAN! And then there's last night... was talking to a guy a little bit... he just got laid off from his job, I wanted someone to give me a ride to the grocery store so my refrigerator wouldn't be so barren and he was willing to do that. We didn't actually get to the grocery shopping part and I wasn't feeling much chemistry there though so we watched a movie I gave him a hug and he went home. Maybe we'll hang out again at some point. My future line-up... wow it seems like there's a lot more guys in the area now! I could definitely see myself going out with the 26 y/o professor again. Lots of cute guys out there though, so we'll see what happens. I'm looking forward to exploring for a while but you never know... I might stumble onto the guy out there somewhere and when that happens I know I'll embrace that. In the meantime... why be alone and without companionship when there are so many opportunities out there to meet people?

I don't get it.... why can't I have my tossed salad, warm buns, several appetizers and have the meaty main course... and cuddle up for dessert afterward? Foreplay is great, and fun, and so is intercourse... and the cuddling afterward is an essential. What's with all the people who skip so much of the process? Side note... it annoys me to no end when people show up and are like "i'll just have a salad." Go outside, pick some leaves off the tree, eat those, and let someone who wants a MEAL get a seat at my table.

Hot damn, Kevin! You have my kissing preferences right down to the versatility and the experience of finding most the time having to be the more 'aggressive' one and getting bored with it at times. I have a feeling you and I would make quite the kissing partners

Now now, this is a forum for all to share their thoughts!

Physically speaking Im looking for someone close to the same height as me... hair and eye color aren't that important as long as the eyes aren't altered to look, for lack of a better word, freaky (sorry furries, cat-eye contacts are not what i'm looking for in a partner). As long as the hair isn't styled into something, again for lack of a better word, rebellious (don't care for mohawks or the joe dirt look) then its fine. Baldness is a strange thing... I rarely ever see a bald guy or a guy with extremely short hair who is physically attractive to me... though there are exceptions... like one of the other servers I work with who has very very short blonde hair a cute face and blue ear rings... oh what I'd do with him if I had the chance..... As for body frame... ideally I'd be looking for slim to average build... but not too slim... I need enough man there to cuddle that I'm holding onto more than i would be if i were hugging my pillow. Also, and this is going to seem radical to some guys out there - I'm not really looking for a muscular build. I've tried cuddling with small frame muscular guys before and it was like cuddling with a rock. Cock size? Five to six inches is plenty, I'm no size queen here. Body hair? Smooth is nice, an 'average' amount of hair is perfectly fine.... a full fur coat though would probably incline me to pull out the clippers. And now for the really important part - he MUST love to cuddle and must NOT be completely submissive. I love pursuing my love interest but I'd like him to pursue me some too! Along with that, he must not take cock-teasing too far. A bit is okay and can be fun but it shouldn't go on so long that I'm ready to give up. I'm also sucker for romance so he's got to appreciate and reciprocate that! And no drums. I will not date someone who plays the drums. Also - no one who wants to play their music with the base way up.

Well its been a long time since this thread started and even longer since I put up those pictures so here's one i took a few weeks ago.... its pretty good, i think, considering I took it with my phone....

Parents who don't teach their children discipline should be thrown out of the restaurant on general principle >_>

I'd say of course its possible that it can work... And with that said I'll also go ahead and say its wildly improbable for it to work. It is hard enough to find two people with the compatibility and dedication to make a long term relationship with each other work happily. It becomes exponentially more complicated when you add in a third or more, for many of the reasons already pointed out. You can lust for a number of people, be emotionally attracted to several, and even be in love with more than one person at the same time... but the thing is, while you may find yourself in a situation where you are in love with two or even several people, to make lifetime relationships happen between more than two people where we're talking about co-equals in a relationship and not the traditional polygamist family style with one man and several sister-wives... the complexities, the difficulties, the hurt feelings, and the changes that take place in the individuals over time make it radically improbable to be successful in the long term. You loving the two of them doesn't mean they'll feel that way about each other. Alternatively, they may feel too much for each other and too little for you and you'll find yourself an outsider in your own home. Also... if you're just coming together as friends who care a lot about each other... thats more a fraternal love even if you're having sex... the deep romantic love doesn't come about and because of that you might not feel as bad if the triad ends, and at the same time you may find it unfulfilling and end it yourself. Personally... I can see the appeal to having several guys who im close friends with to spend time with emotionally and physically and it being a mutual understanding all around... but at the same time I wouldn't be feeling the deep spiritual closeness that comes with being with one person... i might care about them all, as I care about all my friends now... but the lack of any one of them to be my special someone would eventually push me to dating outside the group and try to find someone to be mine and mine alone and for whom i would be his and his alone.

A duplex actually

Okay, so two days ago I was breaking down in tears because it seemed like no matter what I did I could never get out of the rathole im currently living in. I got an extra shift permanently added to my schedule and im not a moron - i know how to live on a budget and what I can afford. With the extra shift each week I can afford my own place but it seemed like everywhere I went they wanted 3x rent as minimum monthly income. I was ready to give up... but yesterday I came across an ad in the paper... a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom duplex for 550 per month... water, sewage, trash, and lawncare all included in the rent. I called and talked to the lady doing the renting and scheduled a meeting with her for today. Today I went downtown and got myself a haircut. The guy cutting my hair was obviously gay, did a great job, and was fun to talk to - I gave him an 8 dollar tip on a 12 dollar haircut After that I went to subway to try out their five dollar footlong thing... I was once again disappointed because apparently when they say "chicken and bacon ranch sub" thats exactly what they mean... you a handful of small pieces of chicken, a couple of the thinnest cut slices of bacon imaginable, and some ranch squirted on it. So once again I am resolved that if ever I desire a sub, subway is the LAST place to go for one. I reccommend a Publix store - get the ultimate, white bread, mayo and spicy mustard on both sides of the bread, yellow american cheese, and load it up with pickles and olives - and remember to ask for Publix brand meat. You'll get much more value for your dollar. Anyway after my disappointing lunch at subway I took a bus back across to the other side of the city where my new place will be. I checked it out and I was quite happy with what I saw. The carpets looked a little old, but they were clean. The place was freshly painted. The kitchen was nice and clean and there was enough cabinet space to suit my needs. The refrigerator is big enough to suit me. TWO BEDROOMS! I can't believe I'm getting a place with two bedrooms for only 550/month! So here's the plan... tomorrow I bring in a money order for the move in cost and sign the lease. Not today, but this coming thursday I'll be moving all my stuff in. I'll be buying a new bed for one bedroom, where I'll also put in my dresser and I'll buy a nightstand to put in there too. The other room I'll put my current mattress and my weight set as well as my minifridge and a desk I'm going to buy. For the living room I'll be buying a couch, a coffee table, and a TV stand for my TV, although I won't be buying cable for a while. My lack of cable will also mean a lack of regular internet for a while so if you don't see me online much anymore - that's why. There's a McDonalds with wifi not too far away so I may head down there every now and then, but I won't be hooking up cable/internet until I know what my new expense/income ratio will be. I am sooo excited about this. There's a few basic things to measure a "successful" person... to me, these are having income to support having one's own place, a car, and the capacity to seek out a special someone. For quite a while now I've had none of these things. Now I'm going to at least have my own place, and that step toward being successful in my own eyes just makes me so happy.

All I have to say here is... Wow.

If he was badly in love with this girl and had been for a while, you need to give it time. He probably did feel love in what the two of you did, but his ability to appreciate that love was probably limited to feeling some brief consolation from his grief over the relationship. He needs time to reset his own emotional construct so that he can be open to love to somebody and then you can see about making that somebody be you. You're ready for a relationship with him - but he's not ready for a relationship with anyone yet. If they were together for a long time it might be a while before he is ready, even several months. Just keep being there and being supportive and do not push him yet or you'll just end up pushing him away.