WolfM
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Thank you Cinnamon. I'm one of many that's survived. I tend to try and live life to its fullest.
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Thanks Jeff. It is what it is. I would have liked to have had a normal life but I made it through the one I was handed.
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LOL. Thank you moogy. It had to happen sooner or later.
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Thanks Mike. I can happily say I now have a strong respect for your profession. There are bad apples in any profession and those few give the good ones like you and him a bad reputation at times. For a while at that time, anytime I caught the attention of a cop I expected the worst. There were a couple that went out of their way to be nice to me though; not to the extent of Kyle, but they tried. When I sent him a copy of this for his approval before posting, he swore up and down at me for making him cry.
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It's easy to visualize everything you're writing in this. This is beautifully done. I hope you're mother is doing better.
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I'm just going to point up to Lux, Parker and moogy and say, "yeah, what they said". Hugz my friend.
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Thank you tim. I know the bad ones are a small number. It seemed like that was all I met for a while. He did manage to restore my faith in that profession. I've met a lot since I moved to where I am now and they're almost as cool as he is.
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Thank you Deville. Yeah, the last couple chapters have been a little... heavy. The happy memories are limited. They are much easier to write though.
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Thanks Chris.
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Thanks jp. There were several people that tried to do things to help me. Few who went to the extent he did though. As far as being a ghost, that's pretty much what I was, something people chose not to see..
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The shade from the big trees I was sitting under felt good and gave some relieve from the early June heat. The cool grass in front of the Science Museum of Virginia added to the comfort of the day. I’d splurged since I’d had a few decent paying tricks lately and had gotten a sandwich from Sally Bell’s kitchen; one of the women there always tried to sneak a cupcake into my bag. I wasn’t planning on working for the afternoon and I wanted to have some time away from the people that usually looke
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Beautifully done and so sadly true for so many.
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Thank you Jeff. A mask of happiness in public and emotional wreck in private.
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Thank you jp. It really isn't much different from when I dance at clubs now. Go-Go boy/stripper is there for the visual. At least now I can emotionally deal with the groping and other issues that come up. They still don't care about the person they're tipping as long as the visuals are good and I do my job of flirting with them. Trying to do that when you feel empty, smiling when you want to find a dark spot and cry is really hard.
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Thank you Avid Very true. The isolation I felt, the loneliness followed me everywhere, no matter the size of the crowd I was around.
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Thank you molly. I guess being able to express my emotions when I wrote this was the only benefit to the depression (it's nice that I can joke about it now).
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Thank you moogy. The loneliness was more self inflicted as I pushed people away on my downward spiral. To be honest, I had stopped fighting soon after this and gave in to the darkness. Thankfully I found my way back though.
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Thank you tim. After so long, it just didn't seem right to modify or edit it. Probably the only poem I've written with the same raw emotion as this is the one that followed 4 months later and it probably isn't something that would be appropriate for me to post.
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Thank you AC. I never really considered it exploring those things before, but I guess it does I always thought it was too long and my writing professor suggested I do something a little less melodramatic.
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These are wonderful, Parker!
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The club is packed with people, And the lights are flashing bright. The young dancer makes his way on stage While feeling of loneliness close in on him tight. He does his job before the crowd; Doing his best to give a good show. Piece by piece his clothes strips down And the tips quickly begin to flow. The dancer hides behind his smile; The darkness held within. Alone in a crowd of people he holds back The tears that threat
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Thanks Jeff. Yeah, it was worse. It was a regular fantasy for guys that picked me up.
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Thank you Chris. I'm still not sure that I should have shared this.
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Thank you deville.
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I should have told you to avoid this one. The graphic version is in the journal I wrote for my therapist. I pretty much wrote this the same was I handled doing the work; detaching myself from the emotion of it. I usually get in trouble when he catches me doing that.
