Ms. V

I'm eager to find how the Kelly/Kelli's are going to play a role, what a unique way to lead us on as well as deepen our perspective of Dylan & Chuck through their mirror siblings point of view. Am I wrong; I'm not so sure there are two exes presented in this chapter? It almost reads like Dylan's Ron passed away unexpectedly. Not sure where you're going with this, but I love the ride! Forward, hoe!

This beautiful transparency that you share here is a big part of why you are such a wonderful writer, and your characters read so true and real. Relationships are a lot like onions there are a lot of layers and quick judgments or trying to slice to the heart of things quickly just leave everyone crying. No one can know the whole story even when we know more than anyone else, because we cannot be the other person, too. No one sees themselves as the bad guy in their own story, not even people like the mother. They have justifications and scar tissue that skew their perceptions, just like we do. Wisdom in relationships only comes when we step back from being screwed over to see it takes two working on a relationship together to keep it healthy. If they are not willing, then it is time to walk away and create safe, healthy boundaries. The other reality is that exactly what you expressed. In real life the stories do not end, it's just where we might leave off or quit writing. Who knows what the passage of time, years, or even epiphanies they may one day realize that could make a new relationship possible. I don't think we can ever get the old ones back, just move forward in positive ways as someone proves, not that they're now fixed, but that they are willing to work as hard as we are to be there for one another. Broken relationships, mental health, and the poverty that comes from it is the field I work in and yet as old as I am, I'm not susceptible to being blind to someone close to me screwing me over. I don't have the distance with my family that I do with those I counsel and mentor. Thank you for being willing to process through this story. Reading it helped me feel seen, encouraged, and not as alone as I did before I read it. Bless you. ~ Ms. V

Wow! Out of left field, and yet, not really. You've been so open about these blank expressions his dad shifts to and the reactions disconnected to what is happening at the moment. I wonder if some of the mom's seeming acceptance of dad's bad behavior is because she's aware there is a mental issue but never imagined it going so far? The indifference could just have been the systemic result of a family that doesn't communicate but avoids the disturbing or uncomfortable realities. I'm torn on the issue that @spikey582 brought up about taking Zane out of the house to Clint's for safety's sake. It's not a bad thought, but trauma is a layered situation. Zane emotionally feels alien in his household relationships. However, these are his known and comfortable surroundings, setup and able to assist with his disability without the aide of his cane. I don't know; it could go either way. I'm just locked in for the ride and ready for more. ~ Ms. V

Ah, communication, the kind that leads to connection, though the naked Greg hug was huge for a touch-deprived Zane. Lack of positive touch can be as detrimental as a total lack of regard from the people in our lives. Clint did a wonderful job of letting Zane open the pressure valve a bit, verbally and physically, but I want to see a lot more of that before I trust that the rough parts are behind him. I also like that in your story teens can break up amiably where in my reality tends to be all or nothing with insecurities pushing drama on both sides. I just love Travis, Greg, Angie, and Celeste's maturity. ~chuckle ~ Ms. V

I can't even be mad at Zane right now, between his upbringing of avoidance rather than communication, and his young age, he's drowning. His pride keeps him from asking for help, and then his hurt deepens when his equally young friends don't see his struggle. I ache for Clint, but he has a warm and welcoming home to retreat to and the opportunity to process with his father over this if he wants it. It might be easy for adult relationship savvy minds to judge, yet it's situations very like this that keep self-abuse and teen suicide statistics so high. What you're writing about is all too real in the real world with no guarantee of a happy ending without a lot of intervention and hard realizations. I'm so glad you shared that you needed to write it this way at the time, but you've grown far past it. It's that insight that's going to help me ride out this tough part. ~ Ms. V

I love how you're showing the trust that's building in Zane for Clint through everyday interaction. It's because they are very different that they will be so good for each other, not trying to change each other but being transformed through their interactions and insights that they learn about one another. I'm so glad Zane kept his word and opened up a bit with Clint about "dad," there needs to be a lot more of that for this tale to end well, I have a feeling. Zane is drowning in hurt and pain. Anger is always a secondary emotion, and you're showing us why he has so much of it, a little at a time. I admire your skill in slowly peeling back the layers and not rushing this. It's actually helping me as a reader in processing some of my crap through your characters and their story. ~ Ms. V

Being practically a nudist, myself, much like Clint and Zane, I get Zane's point of view at the pool. However, also having a brother with an arm that is quite damaged, visually as well as physically, Zane not being nervous on the first time viewing by boyfriend was a bit off for me. Our family never made a big deal of it, and my brother was confident and comfortable in his appearance. (He pulled off the incredible melting man for Halloween one year with my help and some Plaster of Paris with food dye to make it match his skin tone.) When he was out and about in the general public, however, their adverse reactions are what gave him some nerves about a girlfriend seeing his whole arm along with his hand the first time. I do love Greg a lot, the little worry wart, yet I'm starting to worry about Zane's temper. The anger he's been showing around the "dad" subject I've chalked up to all this stuffing of emotions and not letting it out or processing it. I know when he finally loses his temper will probably shake foundations. In the pool scene it seems likes its bleeding into the rest of his relationships more than it has before by Greg's reaction; not to mention the GSA meeting moments with Clint. I'm getting the impression you're leading us to a very dramatic emotional meltdown for Zane. I'm rooting for Clint to be the catalyst that ease's the pressure for Zane before a mental health breakdown. I love how they lose themselves in each other when they're kissing, too. ~ Ms. V

So, I'm cognizant that the fact that I'm years late on commenting and there were some particularly great ones you received in a more timely manner. Hense, I don't make a lot of technical or editorial remarks. That being said, you have an organic ease in presenting information subtly that it reads like thought patterns natural to a reader's thoughts. It may read easy like melting butter, yet I am aware of how much care, concern and hard work goes into something so delightful to read. Well, your attention to detail and the practice you've put into your craft shine through brightly to a passionate reader and armature writer like me. Your replies to comments that remark on how you plan and work are something I've been soaking up too and learning from to put into my pieces one day. Thank you! ~ Ms. V

Ah, young love, you're writing it so well. I loved seeing Clint through Zane's eyes on their walk. The bright hope and brimming over with life that is Clint. Zane wants to hold onto him, and he doesn't even know all about the depth of Clint uniqueness. Where Zane feels his interaction with friends as projects weighing him down, Clint's delight in people just makes him eager to help. I wonder if Clint's plans weigh less than Zane's projects on them as individuals? I'm off to see how Zane's Dad takes their budding relationship. ~ Ms. V

I'm so familiar with the daddy issues storyline, yet how you presented, it is refreshing. I love Greg as a best friend concerned for the cynicism that limits Zane's view of relationships around him. I'm not surprised there is less Clint at the moment as we already know him. It's fun to start speculating on the effect he'll have on Zane and his family dynamic. 😊 ~ Ms. V

Wow, some stark contrast from our Clint's family. As much of the weight of the world Zane seems to be under, I hope he stays attracted to Clint and his character more than just his family dynamic. ~ Ms. V

Yeeesssss! I'm feeling so very smug right now. You're just a fabulous writer! Yes, though your tale is fairy-tale-esque, it's real enough to be so very satisfying. Your character development and dialog were fresh and tight and executed flawlessly. I even appreciate that you like to finish a piece before starting to release it; that feels like dignity and respect for your readers to me. Great writing doesn't have to be only just romance, action, or suspense. Great stories always seem to be a mixture or a perfect recipe of more than a few of those elements. You've certainly got the suspense and surprise twist skills in your storylines. I love this little gem and am so grateful I get to rush right over to your sequel! You're now my 7LB author. ~ Ms. V

You're just messing with me now. I don't know if I should believe @Lux Apollo guess of gay cooties or my earlier supposition? You're that good. LOL ~ Ms. V

Ha! That'll teach me! You're a talented one for you misleads. My guess was off, but I love the Brent/Shelia reveal! Yeah, the dad/son scene was an incredible moment; this family is phenomenal. You've got me chomping at the bit to see what Clint's plan is, too. ~ Ms. V

You are a tricky one, but I might just be pulling this supposition out of thin air. ~ Ms. V

Wow, I'm not sure you get a sibling relationship this close without the great parenting of their mom & dad to lead the way, though the twin thing had a hand, too. That their dad can maintain after losing his other half, and sounding board in parenting worries is the stretch for me, but possible. I think it's our insecurities and feeling alone in those that can break down close family relationships. I can see why these are relationships you'd like to emulate in real relationships. I would, too. ~ Ms. V

Well, sort of good news for me. With your craftiness, I figured it just might be that Donny was dating Angie as a beard while going out with Clint. ~chuckle Not that this conundrum isn't even more fascinating and dramatic. The outing is here, yet I can't help wondering how it will affect the situation with Travis? I'm eager to discover. ~ Ms. V

Just wow! The family dynamic is a great big warm fuzzy with pop rocks. 🤗 Which makes the shock of Travis' text so much more dramatic. Yet, that just draws me further into wanting to see where you're taking me. It gives me the great kind of chills. 😊 ~ Ms. V

Heavy themes are a part of life, and I think where a good sharp wit and sense of humor are tempered in flames. I do think you're doing a fabulous job of keeping it real and taking a lighthearted perspective. It's what helps me deal with the heavy themes I face everyday, so it makes this story of yours feel possible to me. Which I think makes a better story, every time. Indomitable is better, but I think Clint is an intrepid friend, too. ~ Ms. V

Silly, there's a difference between doing magic and being magical. ~ Ms. V

I'm really enjoying this and it's just crazy enough it could happen in real life! Those are my favorite stories. ~ Ms. V

Well, the dad is stellar, I wonder if that will make the sister worse or worthy? ~chuckle ~ Ms. V

Yeah, lots of scars, ones I can never forget and those I don't even remember, but no tattoos. I never got a piercing, either, figured I already enough involuntary ones to last me. ~chuckle Thank you, I feel like I'm slowly making my way out of the emotional chaos and starting to put the pieces of me back together. Following you guys helps my outlook. ~ Ms. V

I read somewhere once, scars are just tattoos with more interesting stories. Not sure as I've never had a tattoo. ~chuckle ~ Ms. V

Once again, it's worth the ride, well worth it. Thank you for your hard work and dedication is sharing Isaac and Connor with us. ~Ms. V