jkwsquirrel

Indeed I did use it! I thought it was appropriate considering what he and Jen had gotten into back in their day. While Billy always had his suspicions that Dr. Reilly had lied to Brett (which he told his dad about right after) it did take some time to put everything together. Billy's had some time to process things since his conversation with Jack. Joey and Brett filled in some of the gaps for him, explaining that their moms were friends and Jack's concern for Brett following his accident. But I don't think he was entirely sure until Jen confirmed it herself.

SPOILER ALERT!!! Okay, so if you haven't read chapter 5-13 "Intuition" yet, don't read this, go read "Intuition" then come back here! Done? Good! Now of course, the big reveal of "Intuition" was the father of young Brett Reilly. You might be wondering, how long has good ol' Jeff been plotting this development? Well how about from chapter one of the very first book! But now that Billy's figured it out, here were some of the hints that were there along the way: --------------------------------- I thought for sure this one would be the big spoiler in Cold Winter: 2-3: Brett and Joey’s dad had a little conversation about how Brett’s mom was doing while I invited Joey to help me with Zelda. 2-4: Your father could walk right up to you and have a conversation with you and you wouldn’t even know it. ---------------------- This one required a bit of connecting the dots, but it was there. 2-7: “I see a lot of your father in you, yes.” Dr. Reilly said. “Everyone says that you have my eyes, but I think you have your father’s eyes. He has the most beautiful shade of blue eyes like you do, like looking at the ocean… and those beautiful dark lashes. And the older you get the more of him I see in you. That’s not a bad thing. He was very handsome, and so are you." 5-6: As he peered over his glasses at me, I couldn’t help but notice how blue his eyes were. They were very warm and friendly, very handsome. 5-6 Jack: “You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes.” Like Billy said: “One of the few things (Dr. Reilly) didn’t lie about. He has his father’s eyes.” ------------------------ A subtle one from 5-6: Jack: "Jenny was always a nice girl… Good family. More Catholic than the pope in those days. I guess she’s still into all of that stuff." Billy: I don’t know what it was about him, but I found him very charming. Everybody did. He could have talked the pants off a nun, he was so smooth. ----------------------- And the big one where I was afraid I'd given it away very early all the way back in Birthday Bowling Bash: 2-3: With their brown hair and handsome Irish looks they actually looked a lot alike. They could almost pass for brothers, if you didn’t know any better. Of course, Joey had brown eyes and straight hair like his mom and Brett had blue eyes and his hair would get curly if it got too long like his mom. They could almost pass for brothers… BECAUSE THEY ARE! Mwahhahahahaha!!! Well, half-brothers, anyway. It was really fun to plan this out! I've been waiting over a year to tie this all together, and I hope it was a fun reveal for everybody. I certainly had fun planning it! What else did I miss? Did you figure it out before Billy did?

Wait no longer! Intuition is up and ready! Massive plot developments await!

I felt terrible about my disastrous visit with Dustin and I tried to call the hospital a few times, but they told me that Dustin wasn’t taking any calls. I even went back to the hospital later in the week, but the nurse wouldn’t allow me to see him. I didn’t want my friendship to end on such a sour note, but it was looking like I had no choice but to let Dustin go, at least for a while. I must have looked pretty miserable around the house, because mom was trying to cheer me up. Of

Honestly, if we're looking to our artists and writers to find advice on safe sex, we're looking in the wrong place. If your characters want to fuck, then let them fuck. If you want to teach a lesson on safe sex in the process, then by all means go ahead, that can be art as well. The main thing is, is it what your characters would do? It's always about the characters and plot first. Now, there are some issues that may hurt readers, like suicide, rape, sexual violence, the rough issues. Those kind of things, it's just an act of kindness to let readers know you're going into the deep waters with a warning up front. Don't want to spring something like that on folks who might be harmed. But sex, on a gay writing site, needs to be sterilized and restrained by the hetero-normative condom cops? Nonsense! Write your story your way, my friend.

Always interesting to get your take on things, my friend. I think that yes, the boys are sometimes too hard on Billy, but that Billy does deserve some of it. There is a mix of truth wrapped in their frustration and anger. Joey wanted to hurt Billy because he doesn't like him. Nothing worse than someone who you once thought of as a friend telling you, "I never liked you." And Joey does know Billy enough to know where to hurt him. As for Dustin, he just tried to kill himself, he's traumatized by what his father did to him, and he's searching for answers. Billy was just the person in front of him at the time. From what Amanda said, he is just lashing out at everybody, trying to make sense of what makes no sense. As Emily said, it's like it's not even him. He's mentally unstable at the moment. So yes, while there was some truth to what he said, much of it was just pure venom directed, as you've accurately described, at someone who he knows can take it. So much of his hate is meant for his father but is being experienced by those who love him. As for Brett, I think you might be a bit hard on him in this chapter. Previously, he's certainly deserved a more critical eye, as he was acting like a spoiled little brat. But I think he's matured a lot since then. I don't think he took Billy's concern about being a coward too seriously, given his flippant response. It was the same way waaaay back in part one when Brett asked Billy with all seriousness if Billy thought he was weird, and Billy told him "of course" because he thought it was just Brett being Brett. Also, I think it's pretty clear that Billy did not tell Brett everything about what Joey did to him in the bathroom, just like he glossed over what he and Dustin did the night of their sleepover. I think that Brett just thinks that Billy feels for Joey the way he felt about Dustin. While he had a very strong dislike of Dustin, he never actively wished him any harm. He simply doesn't realize how hostile the situation has become, because Billy doesn't want to upset him. Joey's certainly not going to tell him.

Yes, I thought the title was self-evident, but I did enjoy the speculation surrounding a certain part of the anatomy being the titular "unit." I don't know that many of us deal well with people telling us about the things that are wrong with us, especially when we know deep down that there is some truth to what they are saying. While it would be nice to send Joey off to a deserted island, I don't think we've heard the last of him.

Thank you so much! It's good to see some love for one of my favorite characters!

That's kind of the vibe I'm after. In that area Dustin was right about Billy. He wants so desperately to belong and be one of the "normals." Paula and Billy both have a longing to be accepted, and are willing to hurt their loved ones to get that acceptance. In other words, they're willing to hurt the ones who already accept and love them in order to gain acceptance and love from people who don't accept them already as they are.

Music plays a big part in helping to get me into a mind frame to write. For this chapter, I found inspiration in a line from the Metallica song "Fade to Black." "Emptiness is filling me to the point of agony." I think Dustin would almost rather face the abuse of his father than face the emptiness he feels. He feels like he's even given his soul away. To quote another Metallica song, "One:" "Darkness, imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror. I cannot live. I cannot die. Trapped in myself. Body my holding cell."

I don't see how things can get much worse for Dustin. Hopefully he can find a way that leads to redemption and can fill the emptiness he feels. There are some parallels between Joey's rant and Dustin's. They've both known Billy and his parents for a long time. I found it ironic that the very things he bitches about his parents are traits which he himself displays, and that his friends find irritating in him. As for the next chapter, Paula is not the mother you're looking for. I like your theory about Paula and Pastor Carl.

Nah, once a story is in the hands of the reader, it's theirs. You can see things the author never intended and that's cool. Also, just because the author says, "this is what this means," doesn't make it so. It's art. Meaning has many dimensions.

Thanks! It was fun to just allow the boys to be boys for a while and not be caught up in all the drama. There's a reason they fell in love with each other, and moments like the banana incident reveal why they are a couple.

Yes, Emily knows and has known for a while about the boys. That's why Brett is so open with her about the banana. Of course, even with someone who knows about their relationship, Billy is guarded. Billy feels terrible about what happened to Dustin. He also feels responsible because he didn't speak up, but then, Billy often feels responsible for thing he had no control over. What happened to Dustin was a case of things spinning way out of control that Billy had no way of stopping, but he feels responsible nonetheless. Dustin is still processing everything that happened to him. It will take time for him to work it all out.

Awesome! See, Amanda was never a monster. She seemed big and bad from the perspective of a couple of young boys, and she did torment her little brother. But there was always love between her and Dustin. Tough love, yes, but love nonetheless. Of course she still thinks Billy is a loser...

Yep, only three more chapters... in part five. And I don't hate you for your thoughts on Dustin. He's a complex individual.

It's always interesting to see what developments in each chapter gets highlighted in your comments, friends! Here's the thing with Dustin. He just went through the most violent and harrowing experience in his life. He's got major PTSD going on. His ranting at Billy came right after he'd just recounted the brutality of what his father did to him, the brutality that led him to try to kill himself. He has been betrayed in the worst possible ways. The people who were supposed to protect and love him are the very ones who wounded him and turned him into what he's become. He's been violated, tortured, and abused. The most mature and reasonable of adults would have a rough time trying to process everything after what he went through. In his mind, Billy should have saved him somehow like a Prince Charming in a fairy tale. But Billy is just a kid. Everything seemed so clear as to why he never told anybody about what Dustin was doing. It all made sense. Then things spiraled out-of-control. Of course Billy would have said something if he'd known how bad it was going to get, but how could he have expected what happen? Dustin, with the benefit of hindsight, thinks Billy should have saved him from what happened to him. In Dustin's pain-medicated mind, Billy's just as bad as the people who abused him, not because of anything he did, but because he didn't live up to Dustin's expectations of him. He's not thinking logically, but emotionally. Brett was right. Even if Billy had spoke up, things were destined to crash eventually. I enjoyed the interaction between Billy and Brett in this chapter. Brett is becoming his own man, much more confident in himself and comfortable in his relationship with Billy. I think that is the reason why he was so quick to answer Billy's question. Billy is still a boy who is not comfortable living in his own skin. While both Brett and Dustin use the word "coward" to describe Billy, I think they are seeing different aspects of Billy's character to draw that conclusion. Dustin sees the hero who failed to save him, just like he failed to save Brett until the last minute. Brett, who knows Billy much more deeply than Dustin, sees the young man who constantly doubts himself. He tells Billy that he's attractive, that even other people are noticing his cute features, and Billy brushes aside the compliment. He refuses to see himself as anything besides a loser who no one likes and who everyone will hate when they discover the "real" him. What Brett means by Billy's cowardice is really his pitiful sense of self esteem. When Dustin beat him down, Brett picked himself back up. When Dustin beat Billy down (verbally), Billy lacked the strength to get back up. Brett is convinced that if Billy were more confident then they could be more open in their relationship, and his impulsive nature doesn't care what the consequences of that openness would be.

I've thought of them as Billy - Justice, Dustin - Loyalty, Brett - Honesty

And it's up and running. Go read it! lol

Monday at school was rather interesting. Not only had word spread through the whole school about Dustin’s hospitalization, but word had also spread about Joey and his family being humiliated at church. I heard through Emily that the McKenzie family had left town for the week early that morning. It was funny, though everyone knew that Joey had gotten a girl pregnant and paid for her abortion, nobody seemed to care or realize that I was the one who had exposed him. Apparently, it was Pastor Ca

It's all ready to go. Just waiting for the publishing time. I'm not going to lie, it's one of the most intense chapters I've ever written. Very disturbing and dark. I almost don't want to publish it. I keep tinkering with it, trying to soften the impact of it.

We're only scratching the surface!

I've enjoyed the various takes on Billy's actions. Yes, Joey deserved it. Yes, Billy went about it in an immature way. I think Joey thought he was above the law in this argument. He couldn't have thought that Billy would do what he did, but he didn't know that Billy was on edge like he was. Billy was going to snap on somebody that day, Joey was just dumb enough to volunteer. I agree with your thoughts on Brett. I thought he handled the situation with more maturity than Billy did.

Aw, thanks William! It's always my hope that I could totally remove the speech tags and you would know who is saying what because the characters all have their own voice. I try to think pretty deeply about each character's perspective as I write. Why would this character think and feel this way? It's also a lot of fun to watch the boys mature and change.

Well bless your heart!