MacGreg
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Everything posted by MacGreg
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Murder, betrayal, mistaken identity, drug addiction: aspects of a complex movie plot, skillfully woven through a tropical tapestry of pineapple fields, sandy beaches, ocean waves, and ancient island burial grounds. By page 62 of the 'Treading Water' screenplay still spread out across his lap, Ben had gained a fairly comprehensive overview of the story structure and the lead character he was slated to play in it- if he was chosen for the role. The protagonist, Scott Pitkin, was a heroin-addi
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I don't think Travis wants to admit to what happened in Boston to anyone, let alone his 15 yr old sister, but you're right, it would help to clear up some of the tension between them. Although, with her insolence and immaturity and angst, she might not consider Travis to be the victim in all of that. Thanks for your kind words about my writing, Timothy, that means a lot. - Mac
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Valid point there, Timothy: if Ben's been dishonest with himself for so long, how can he expect people who know him to know the hidden parts? He's expecting immediate understanding for something he hasn't reconciled himself yet. Thanks for sharing your comment!
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Ben's learning, slowly but surely. At some point, the BS will have to end... maybe... if he can withstand the pressure. We shall see. Cheers - Mac
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I appreciate your insight on all of this, Timothy. Lack of honesty definitely plays a huge part in Bryan's reaction to Ben, and Ben is perceiving it the way he assumes it it be rather than how it might actually be.
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At some point, Ben might come around to everything, but it's not a smooth road, and he's still hesitant about a lot of what's happening. There is, at least, a crack of honesty opening up between them. Cheers for the review, Timothy! - Mac
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"No one will believe the word of a slutty teenager" - ha! Good rebuttal. At some point, Ben might stop feeling so threatened at the thought of going "public" - but for now, he remains angry and fearful at the prospect. Much more will be revealed and unraveled. Thanks for your great comments, Timothy.
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Timothy, you've called Ben out on everything, and I love it. All of your points are valid and spot-on. I can tell you are playing close attention, and that's awesome. There is definite dysfunction in the Cooper clan; no one is above it, not even Travis, unfortunately. Scars run deep. Thanks for adding such a thoughtful review here. Cheers - Mac
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Hi Graeme, you are very intuitive with this story and with these characters. I'm happy to hear that they feel real to you; I couldn't ask for a better compliment!
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Lisa, oops, sorry, I never responded to this review! Yes, I suppose girls with a ton of hormones can be just as bad as boys, and Katy has more than her share - but it's not just about the physical with her, as we've discovered in subsequent chapters. Physical + psychological + teenage angst = challenging. Cheers - Mac
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Again, Timothy, I'm happy that you're giving it another try. There is no smooth approach to this story or to these complicated characters, but hopefully, in the end, they won't disappoint. Ben has a lot to be honest about, but he's not there yet. Cheers - Mac
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Hey Graeme, I appreciate your thoughts regarding Christine, the abortion, and the scar on Travis' face. You are right that these are points of pain for each character, as of yet unrevealed. There is history that still needs to be uncovered. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
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Hey Timothy, I'm glad you picked this story back up. Thanks also for your comments. There are many aspects of this story and these characters that are disconcerting/ frustrating/ disappointing, but you will also (hopefully) discover some redeeming qualities along the way. Everyone agrees that Katy is a menace. She needs to be wrangled in, but at this point, Ben is hesitant to rock the boat. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. Cheers - Mac
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Graeme, I never responded to this, and I apologize for the delay. Thanks for reading and commenting. You are correct here with your conclusion of Ben lying to himself. Unfortunately, he suffers from this predicament more than once, but he won't be able to lie to himself (and to others) forever. There will be a breakthrough. Cheers - Mac
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I love that you write from the heart, tim, and from personal experiences. That's where the gritty truth can be found, and you never know - you might just touch the right people with your words, and that makes writing so worthwhile and so important. Keep on with your raw and honest approach. The genuineness will touch many. Me included. Cheers - Mac
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"Staring out the window at the naked maples and Evergreens Trying to sort the salmagundi, in my mind." This verse is sumptuous. I read it out loud just to hear it how it sounded, and it's even better than reading it. What I admire so much about your poetry, tim, is the rawness of heart you project into each one. You don't seem to strive to be perfect or scholarly in your presentations, you just put your thoughts out there in verse form for everyone to grab onto. You weave words together in a very organic, natural way and pull your thoughts along like currents of a stream that readers want to ride on. Really fantastic, my friend.
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Chapter 43 Pieces Left Behind
MacGreg commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 43 Pieces Left Behind
So much love for this poem, Gary. All of the memories like remnants and small reminders of a fulfilling life spent watching your kids grow up. You are surrounded by your kids even though they are not physically present. Very heartwarming. Thanks for this. -
I agree with Parker - had I been Kevin, I would have freaked out about my dad reading my erotic stories, even if they were tame or romantic in nature. Awkward! But nonetheless, you wove this story together exceptionally well, and that twist made it more intriguing. The characters were great, the tentative love between Ronnie and Kevin moving, and the physical connection stimulating. I was hooked from the beginning. Great job on this.
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This is great, thank you!
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Hi Emi, thank you for reading and taking a moment to comment. I'm glad that there are points to this poem that you can relate to, but I'm sorry that we share some of the same sadness... At any rate, you're kind to comment. Cheers - Mac
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Hi Cole, thanks so much for taking a moment to write such an in-depth review. Travis definitely wanted his voice to be heard in all of this, and I'm glad that his POV has been received well. Rest assured, we are not done learning about him - his past and his future. From here, we will follow alongside Ben to uncover those points. Thanks again for your comments, Cole. Cheers - Mac
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Thanks for such a thorough, thoughtful review, Gary. This means a lot. If the interlude came off as harsh, riveting, powerful, etc. to you then something went right. You're correct that the sunglasses hold a bit of symbolism to them. You're also correct that Travis' protective armor is cracking. As always, thanks for following along and offering your insights. Cheers - Mac
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Caressed by love's enveloping embrace. What a beautiful thought. "I beg you let each ripple kiss the place where you a flaw detect" -- In a lover's eyes, there are no imperfections. Really great piece, Parker.
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This is very true, and you described it beautifully: "Questions, reflections and sharp-drawn observations trip from your trusty, honest pen". That is tim. You've written quite a gem here, and the alphabet portion only makes it more so.
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Just sat down to read this and noticed as soon as I was finished that you'd made an edit to it. Coincidence that we were both in the story at the same time...? I think not. From start to finish, you had me completely HOOKED on this story. Characters so richly developed with personalities, physical descriptions and language, I could clearly see each one of them and HEAR their western cowboy dialects as if I was sitting in the same cave with them. That is something that you are consistently good at doing as a writer, Gary. For being a short story, this was well-crafted from beginning to end. No down times, no disconnects, just a great flow throughout. I really loved it. And hooray for Cooper and Wiley in the end.
