FanLit

Such a fantastic comment. You always notice the subliminal of a situation in your comments-connections & substitutions that I think even the authors don’t always realize; I don’t know if psychological analysis is your calling or a natural inclination but you do it well.

I hope this posting is a sign you are feeling better. “Roman was always hot, but not until now had I realized that all the times our paths had crossed and he’d smiled, they’d been politely guarded. He was always on, even in safe places like his clubs”…. “and at Ben and Sam’s house for BBQ’s when it was just friends and family.” “His smile was so different right now, it was suddenly blatantly obvious that he just knew how to keep himself on lock in public like Sam used to.” “Just like you do.” You don’t get over loving someone for twenty years in a few months but Max is healing and rebound or not, Roman Cruz is his future….consciously or not, Roman’s already let his guard down around Max (hence the real smile) and Max is way more relaxed around Roman than he’s comfortable with-both in bearing witness to his feelings for Sam & his feelings of inadequacy to be in a deeply intimate relationship; all this runs concurrently with the vulnerability Max feels because he’s actually falling for Roman at the same time, in a way you convincingly portray. (it does happen) Oh, and by the way Max, this ain’t a one night stand no more my friend, you’s having you an affair, mi amigo. Henry Malcon Melone has a lot to answer for, he had a treasure of a child and treated him like trash, so much so that not even the unconditional love and acceptance of the two most important people in Max’s life to this point (his mother and Sam) was able to make up for it. Whether intentionally or accidentally done, military man or not, Henry Melone (I forget his rank) owes one Maximilian Melone an apology. “And damnit, I liked it when Roman Cruz smiled.” That lasso’s already looped around Max & he’ll go down kicking and screaming but Roman’s the one to hog tie him into the love he deserves (hell, he might like that position, lol) By the way, you say sex scenes aren’t your forte but I can’t tell; you do it very well, in two languages no less, lol. Roman has acquired the most precious of his misfit toys, ever, one that’ll take care of him right back. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹💝

Nope, so far Sam & Max are my favorite individual characters. I wanted them together at first and while nothing will change the love they have for each other (they were each other’s first loves), I see now the sense that Ben makes for Sam & that Max needs a different partner. Hopefully, each in a new relationship will allow them to fall back into the ease they have with each other without the awkwardness they currently have with Sam’s marriage to Ben, though I suspect Ben (and Roman later on) will always have that frisson of insecurity over how much Sam and Max meant to each other.

I like Max and Roman’s type of sex, as well as their approach to sex with each other; allowing for each one’s ways to be, while making what I think are little exceptions for each other they normally wouldn’t make, all with the goal of mutual control and satisfaction, lol. These two loyal and loving men are already falling for each other, whether they realize it or not….each will fight it every step of the way, which will make the capitulation blazing hot. 🔥❤️‍🔥; both deserve the good solid love they will give to each other. I think previously Max and Tara flirted with the idea of procreating together, I hope they go through with it….what a stunning combination of DNA that child will be, outside and in. Will either wait to be in stable relationships for that possibility, or seize the day, as it were? You’ve introduced an engaging cast of characters in this story series, I like them very much, though I do have a preference for Sam and Max, lol. Thanks for the new chapter. 🙏 🎁

Bruno and Lily got together with their respective baggage, yet managed to create a beautiful family together; for 10 years, Bruno loved all three of his sons because they were his sons-he loved them from birth, took immense pride in their disparate personalities and infused his values into them, which they accepted as their birthright. Why was Lilly unfaithful? Why did she try to pass of her two eldest sons as her husband’s? We don’t know, but it was wrong. Why did Bruno instantly turn on his prides and joys once he found out they weren’t biologically his? Why did it not matter that they loved him unconditionally, that his stance only softened on Daniel once he was confirmed as biologically his? Why did that affection turn into something sexual? Why did Bruno then brutalize Lucian and Peter for being born and not sharing his DNA? We don’t know, but it was wrong, very, very wrong; those children should never have paid the price for their parent’s mistakes. Now, Lucian is a spoiled masochist, stuck in his own hurt and consumed with destroying Bruno, blaming Peter and Daniel for not wanting the same vengeance over their childhood….Peter is trying to rise from the ashes of his fucked up childhood by putting Bruno totally out of his life and doing the best he can….Daniel wound up molding himself into the perfect sacrifice, catering to Bruno’s moods and covering for his brothers (had Daniel proved to not be biologically Bruno’s there’s no doubt that Daniel’s efforts would be in vain). Are these boy’s temperaments like their respective fathers? I don’t know if glimpses of Bruno’s youth will be shared to give some idea to how he could go from the best father in the world to the worst so utterly; it won’t justify his treatment of the boys but it can provide some base of understanding. As it stands, Lucian doesn’t seem to realize that he may sacrifice himself on the altar of reprisal; there is a saying about revenge: “If you seek revenge, dig two graves”. Life is not all sunshine and roses and happy endings….as bleak as this story is, it depicts a reality as well (and you are telling it well).

Lane & Stone are already part of the family….looks like a mutual love fest between Lee and Lane, as well as Lee and Stone (of course that one’s a little more “complicated”, lol) The “biker” gang is amazing (the star struck moment with Ford was cute!!) & it’s wonderful to see Stephen land on his feet (hopefully personally, as well as professionally)….Lane is going to be the bestest dog owner, lol. Speaking of moments (and “complicated”), to badly paraphrase lyrics from a Prince song: “I feel the heat/the heat between he and him”. It’s multilayered, more than lust; definitely more than either can handle or walk away from.

Enjoying the visit back to this world. Loving adult Lee & his soulmate (?) Stone; chemistry was crackling between them after the exchange of a few words. Each seems to be what the other needs; Stone’s instant, intense tendre toward Lee was endearing. Did Lee’s bio unit reproduce by accident or do they need an innocent physical and emotional punching bag made of their own flesh? I’m glad Lee fucked his sperm donor up, probably was a whole lot of therapy right there.

With all that this chapter revealed: blurred boundaries and apocalyptic discoveries, the one question that stayed with me is: why is Blake literally fucking around with Colton with all he has going on with Jackson and Daisy? That hookup in the bathroom was damned risky….Colton seems to hate having sex with Blake, yet I’m pretty sure Blake isn’t forcing him. I know in Ch. 1 when they hooked up down by the river: “One was trying to forget something, the other was trying to feel anything at all.” but Colton is a wild card, a messed up mass of confusion and bad news who will definitely have something to say if Blake gets into anything serious with either member of the Bell family.

I was also hollowed out by a narcissist (though never officially diagnosed because therapy was an abhorrent enemy to him, I am all but certain my father has narcissistic personality disorder and/or borderline personality disorder). As a child, I didn’t have a Nick in my life but fervently wished I did….there is no feeling like loving someone and then wishing they were gone or dead so you’d feel safe. My father was my first love-before God, brother and son and he wrecked me for all future relationships…. I left but wound up trying to save my father and family life in future relationships, not realizing that the only person I could save was myself. I was Nick (my mother was broken) and Bobby and no match for him. I hope Nick allows Bobby into his life now but I hope they’ve both moved on, imo they both need new partners.

Cash is the kind of friend anyone would be lucky to have. You suuuuuure know how to write some sexual and emotional tension, lol. You’ve done a good job bringing readers to the heat in place and people…I’m nervous about a Jackson/Daisy/Blake triangle ‘cause either Jackson or Daisy are liable to be deeply hurt & I’m already invested in both (Blake too, I reckon but he’s the one doing the potential heartbreaking, though he may be taking on more than he expects with Jackson). Colton is also a wild card-is he gay? Bi? Does his animosity towards Jackson come from deeper feelings that are not hate? What/why is there a connection between he and Blake? What will his reaction be if he cottons on to Blake’s attraction to Jackson? The supporting cast are as entertaining as your main characters; couple them with the southern locale and it puts me in the mind of a Tennessee Williams play….nicely done.

What an excellent, masterful, thoughtful review. I wish you the very best.

Parents/adults assess their children….watch them grow and either break or bind-break them down or apart with criticism or apathy, or bind them together with love, acceptance and encouragement; criticism should be constructive & that child should know it comes because their grownups care about them. Adrian was a very sensitive child born to damaged parents-an apathetic mother and a father that seemed to have armor of his own (alcoholism & a cruel cynicism-might his son be a reflection of himself he’s uncomfortable seeing?) As my heart aches for the Adrian child who received no love at all, the glimpses of his childhood explain, not excuse. Some people endure horrific circumstances and decide they will be a force for love, others decide the world owes them something and the only way they’ll get it is by taking it, even (or especially) if others suffer for it….by choosing this path, (which I know he felt he had no other choice) Adrian doomed himself to failure as a father and a husband, because he took and never truly gave of himself; he continued the cycle of bad parenting begat him onto Bobby. The fact he’s in therapy indicates he’s hit a bottom of some sort and wants to do things differently….hopefully he’ll be receptive to the hard look he has to take at himself & his actions in order to be and do better. 🤞

I also found Adrian’s discovery of Nick & Bobby as lovers a full circle moment, as Nick heard the same words between father and son when he caught them fucking in the shed: “Fuck...Nick..." Bobby moaned. "I love you," he whimpered, his face digging into Nick's shoulder. Nick's hands came up, fingers spread out, tracing up Bobby's back, all the way to his neck, where they finally lingered. "I love you, too..." Nick groaned, his hips pistoning passionately into Bobby. "So fucking much..."

I loved this chapter because of your ability to craft a compelling scene, yet sadness was a constant companion in the reading. Adrian did what he did to himself, to Nick and to Bobby….one would argue that Adrian is paying a personal physical price one often escapes when they regularly, deliberately, destroy; it is like his malicious, malignant force turned inward in his hubris & (like most bullies) could not take what he dished out and faltered in his literal existence. I'm not sure how I feel about Nick and Bobby as a couple….they both stayed tethered to Adrian by choice, in spite of who he is (well, was); both deserve the calm after the storm of hurricane Adrian but can they really make a go of it as a couple long term? Is there love and guilt for their husband/father in this garden of Eden they exist in in the aftermath of Adrian’s stroke? Will those emotions slither in like a serpent and coax them to eat from the fruit of knowledge? Nick showed Bobby love didn’t have to be tumultuous and violent; Bobby opened a part of Nick’s heart that Adrian didn’t touch because he didn’t want it, the only part of Nick’s heart left untouched by Adrian. Something separates them for 5 years & their reunion at Nick’s book signing is bittersweet….is the distance enough time to start anew or will they always be poignant havens of the past? Adrian will always be in Nick’s and Bobby’s DNA, individually and collectively, it will be interesting to see what “ever after” looks like for these three men.

This chapter showed the healing of the breach with important women in Troy and Grant’s lives. (Ms. Sandra and Beth) They are important connections to their past that they now can happily include in their present and future. 👏 🎁 “Relaxing, Troy breathed quietly behind Grant. Neither of them moved as they enjoyed the flood of hormones that always accompanies an orgasm with a trusted and loved partner.” And from chapter 23: “Troy sat right beside Grant and as they ate, the lanky man leaned into him, shoulder to shoulder. Grant knew that it was unconscious, and he smiled as their bodies touched in that comfortable, reassuring closeness. At that moment, Grant was happy in a simple, pure and sublime way. His skin tingled with the release of oxytocin - the feel-good drug the body secretes when safe, secure, and loved.” & “Finishing his last bite, Grant wiped his mouth and leaned his head over on Troy's shoulder. Troy put his arm around Grant, smelling his hair. Grant closed his eyes and smiled. After a relaxing, quiet moment, Grant heard a noise and looked up. His mother stood in the doorway of the kitchen.” I don’t know if it’s Grant being a physician’s assistant that flavors the story with these biological revelations but I (along with Ms. Sandra, I suspect) glory in these nuggets. 🙂 Grant’s release of serotonin and oxytocin are a direct result of his interaction with Troy (and I dare say also shared with him), in a loving exchange of shared energy….These are responses the body produce when it feels safe, it will not do so otherwise. Fight or flight is also a biological reaction, one produced when it feels unsafe, for whatever reason; both of these men (to different extents) were more in that zone for a while, it’s nice to see them exhale into this beautiful phase of their lives.

“Brian looked over at him. "Sorry. We don't play games, man. Best to get it all out in the open, right off the bat." His tone was to the point, but not harsh.” I. LIKE. Brian!!!!

“Grant cared. He knew circumstances beyond Troy's control had destroyed his life. Somehow, he had made it this far for over a year, all on his own. Grant had the support of his family, friends, and a whole system that buoyed and pushed him toward success. It didn't appear that Troy had any of that. "It's your turn," Grant whispered as he looked at Troy. "I'll make sure you get your turn." I’m not on this site as much as I used to be; notification of a reaction to a comment I made to one of your other stories had me rereading it (“Bluegrass Symphony”)….’twas a reminder of your deftly engrossing way with a story. 🙂 “Guarded” was going to be next but my direction led to this instead, suffice it say the synopsis hit home for me. Circumstances have led me to the most challenging life experience…. Troy’s journey and mine parallel each other’s a lot-while I still have people in my life who love me and I have been shown great grace, it doesn’t erase the desolation of the inability to sufficiently provide for yourself on a permanent basis; this story is an inspiration, both in Troy’s dignity in the face of his situation, as well as his “turn” (which is going to be so much more of a turn that he anticipates). ❤️‍🩹 It gives me hope for the same and I really appreciate that. Thank you. 🙏 🎁

While Michael majorly fuc*ed up, he seems remorseful and I’m not going to begrudge him a second chance, as long as he wants to do better. When we get to a certain point in life, whose house isn’t made of glass? That redemption doesn’t extend to his parents, though….there’s messing up and then there’s evil….you cross the street when you see evil coming; as long as he avoids interacting with his egg and sperm donor, he’ll have a chance to do better.

I love that Max and Tara have their own special bond, (one forseen by Sam, btw). Max is the person Tara’s been needing to rely on ever since she lost her beloved Nate & it can only be a good thing for Max to have someone he can truly let his guard down with, more so than he did with Sam, even. I do disagree about Tara’s assessment on whether Sam would’ve been the right partner for Max….Max’s diversion away from the romantic feelings he and Sam shared made Sam less confident about confronting him the way he would or could have; because of the multi faceted relationship M & S share, Sam chose to not call Max out on feelings he was so clearly avoiding for fear that it would alter everything else they had. Sam was also terrified of the slim chance of rejection, he wouldn’t have been able to come back from that and that would’ve forever altered everything else between them. Though it didn’t work out, the love these two men share/shared for each other is/was real and they would have been great partners together if they were both honest with each other.

Samuel was an abused white knight who viewed anything less than the absolute security of those under his care as failure; it led him to be a fearless leader in his career, which led to his ascension to the elite echelons of the military....his personal circle remained small with a great reluctance to let anyone else in (a memo Tara and especially Reverend Ben did not receive ☺️). Sam needed his family to heal his wounds, just as they needed him to heal theirs; he wasn't aware his family grew without his knowledge but Ben and Tara proved integral to his recovery as well. Max....there is so much obvious genuine love and affection between he and Sam; I liked him in spite of the fucked up way he treated Sam's heart; that it came from an insecurity in himself about not being good enough showed the battle he was waging within....methinks the Colonel has a lot to atone for with his only bio child, a sit down and hash out is way overdue, I hope it happens in the story you have for Max and Roman, I look forward to Ramon showing our charmin' Ragin' Cajun that he is more than enough as he is. Healing from trauma is a lifetime process and there will be backtracks on the journey....that Sam and his family (immediate and extended) have committed to wellness is the first step....every journey begins with one, right? I thank you for sharing your storytelling gift especially in the midst of challenging situations. 🙏 🎁

You've crafted an engaging and intriguing tale that talks to the struggle to heal from battles, both without and especially within. Samuel and Connor gave off Cain and Abel vibes, with Sam's total commitment to being his brother's keeper; his enlistment led him into another level of hell that he would have otherwise avoided on his own and with the loving attention of the Melone's. Connor was a victim who ultimately victimized, life was never a comfortable fit for him-did his father's abuse give him an excuse? Did he hate himself for repeating history with Sofia and Adelyn? The military didn't give Connor peace; (was he really looking for it?) Instead it gave the self hating homophobe an unexpected connection in Devlin, perhaps the only true love he'd known (he loved Sam but woefully not enough). As destructive as he was, Connor possessed a preternatural ability to secure absolute devotion-first in Samuel, then Sofia & Adelyn (I don't count Emma because she was too young to know her dad) and lastly Devlin, who chose to die with him rather than live without him. Connor fought the world and himself, it is hoped he has now found the peace he definitely didn't have earth side.

As a society, we try to make excuses for horrific behavior, perhaps a “treat someone the way you want to be treated” type of thing….the older I get, the more I believe some people are just born bad, broken and bad, beyond help unless they want it….some people don’t want it….some people’s pleasure is inflicting pain on others. 🤷‍♀️

Michael is an utter disappointment, truly a spawn from his mother’s wretched womb, I thought he’d be honorable to Sarah when he realized where his sexuality lay but to deceive her as he has is beyond forgiving…. I want to say he’s ashamed of being gay but he has such a robust sex life on that side that the lines between his two worlds are blurring more and more. What will he do with exposure? Sarah looked like she knew what was up but I think she’s deluding herself because she wants this life so bad, which is a departure from the astute woman she was first portrayed as.

Nate the avenging angel is here to mete out justice. There is no pity whatsoever for Mr. & Mrs. Evans or Ryan….Michael had some initially when it came out how his mother literally browbeat his sexuality into repressed dreams but the subsequent choices he made to lead a bacchanal double life (the other half of which he apparently can’t stand anymore- “I can’t keep fucking her… it disgusts me.” 😳) leaves me with zero f*cks to give about him, too. I don’t know how Nate will open that can of whoop ass but I’m here for ALL of it; I will especially enjoy Mrs. Evans & Michael’s take down.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend”.