Within - 1. Chapter 1 If Only

On 4/16/2026 at 3:16 AM, ReaderPaul said:

Liked all of these, with some experiences I remember somewhat like those in the first of the three poems.  Well done!

Thank you so much! I'd like to think our lives are filled with magical times, whether they be moments or days or years. I'm always trying to find my balance, and I treasure what I've lost. Appreciate you reading and commenting, friend. Cheers. 

On 4/16/2026 at 9:39 AM, Albert1434 said:

These poems trace a quiet, deeply human journey — from the innocence of boyhood in Within, to the ache of regret in If Only, to the distilled clarity of Lessons. Each piece is vivid without excess, honest without self‑pity, and grounded in lived experience. Together they form a portrait of a life marked by tenderness, missteps, and the wisdom that comes only after both. They linger because they feel true.

Thanks, Albert. This is surprising to be truthful, but I truly appreciate your support for these. I will say, these poems are honest, coming from within  , from my memories, my outlook, and the depth and baggage of my experiences. You know how I feel about poetry and the cleansing aspect of it. Therapy is well and good, but sometimes putting words down is another form of self help. I am protective of my poetry, a lot of it never seeing the light of day, but I'm beginning to understand the folly of that. Cheers, my friend.  

On 4/16/2026 at 10:34 AM, chris191070 said:

I love all of these, especially the 1st one.

Honestly, that's my favorite of these as well, Chris. There is a truly sad aspect to that poem. I learned many years later on a visit to my home province, in an offhand comment at a get-together, that my summer friend had committed suicide. He was the same age as me, only twenty-two at the time. I went outside and threw up. No one there really knew how close we had been as children. I wish I had a photo of him. Anyway, it took a lot to write the poem, but I'm glad I did. He might be gone, but those times are always with me, and he deserves to be remembered. Thanks for indulging me and reading and reviewing my offerings, my friend. 

23 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

Oh, to re-create those golden, beautiful summers you describe! I was transported. The if only, if only, that follows is a melancholy counterpoint, as were the haiku that followed. Beautiful and evocative. 

Thank you so much, Parker. So many blueberries.  

Oh, that I could relive that exquisite summer,

when life wasn’t about decisions

and gentle companionship was enough,

adulthood being something for others - (I may or may not have just shed a tear by this point)

Regrets, though, devour pretense

that my choices were brave ones

Self-preserving and stubborn, yes,

yet undeniably cowardly in the end - (I felt that.)

Pride is beautiful,

except when tarnishing truth,

turning it ugly - (Amazing!)

13 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

Life is all this.. sadness, hardship, love, loss... all strung together with moments of joy.  A great collection. 

Yes it is. Thank you, Michael. I'm pleased you found something here. Cheers.

13 hours ago, FanLit said:

You shared in “Within”, the sweet reminisces of an idyllic summer, innocent (yet charged) memories that awoke within you a road I don’t know if you were ready to travel at that time, yet within you from then on, lay the path inevitable to you. 

 

In “If Only”, your lyrical self flagellation over letting a love go is bracingly haunting: you look within the mirror of truth and take accountability for what is, while the longing for what was slivers through.  

 

“Lessons”- “Pride goest before the fall”, to learn that once should be enough…. maybe for a rare few it is; it has not been so for me, nor apparently for you. 
 

What a contemplative group of poems, Gary; I hope the generation and sharing of them gave surcease to the disquiet of your thoughts, even if temporarily. 
 

🍻

You get me, my platonic friend.   Seriously, I'm happy you see the innocence of "Within". I was young, and I didn't even know what paths could possible be ahead. We lived day to day. We lived a couple of miles from each other and would meet halfway in the back of the woods that lined the country road. I do remember being so excited to see him each day he could make it, but I had no clue why there was a tingle. I did recognize he was very beautiful, though. So no, I wasn't ready for any road.

"If Only" is my cross to bear, and that is enough said for now... other than every so often the hurt can take my breath away.  

"Lessons". Yeah, pride is a double-edged sword. Handle with care. It can rob you of things, blinding you at the worst times. I think my favorite 'lesson' is...

"Does a flower doubt

its ability to push

past burdens above?"

It's been my mantra since I wrote it.  

Thanks for brightening my day, J.  

11 hours ago, Aditus said:

As always with your poems, I could see everything, feel everything. Life is moving forward, though, there is no way back for a do-over.  All this formed you into the man you are now. There are great accomplishments, too. Right? Besides your wonderful poems and storytelling, being a good friend, etc... The list is probably endless.

Oh, for sure, Adi. I have so much to be thankful for. My kids and grandkids especially. I live a comfortable life, but loneliness colors some of it, and as much as I accept it, I struggle with it too. You're right that we seldom get do-overs, at least not the kind we want. Your words are kind. Words to me aren't much different than opaque watercolors or solid oils to a painter. Being able to see what I write is a great compliment IMO. Thank you, dear friend. Cheers! 

9 hours ago, AlexLittel said:

❤️

Thank you, Alex! As always, I appreciate your support for my work. Cheers!

23 hours ago, BendtedWreath said:

Oh, that I could relive that exquisite summer,

when life wasn’t about decisions

and gentle companionship was enough,

adulthood being something for others - (I may or may not have just shed a tear by this point)

 

Regrets, though, devour pretense

that my choices were brave ones

Self-preserving and stubborn, yes,

yet undeniably cowardly in the end - (I felt that.)

 

Pride is beautiful,

except when tarnishing truth,

turning it ugly - (Amazing!)

I do mourn the innocence of youth, yet there are times I feel my family situation never allowed me a chance to be innocent. It is why that summer means so much to me when I let the memories wash over me. We once kept a frog for hours, passing him back and forth and trying to feed him insects we caught. I remember chasing him in the grass until I couldn't breath from laughing so hard. We returned him to the marsh we got him from, and he swam away. I had an affinity for frogs after that, which turned into an affinity for turtles. We named him too, but I can't remember what we settled on.   I like that you might have shed a tear at this one.

As people we are often judged throughout our lives, but for me, I think it is I who judges me most harshly. I'm trying not to do that, but it's not easy. I recognize I can do something cowardly without being an actual coward.  

I love Haiku, I love writing them and reading them. I appreciate you quoting this one. Pride can blind us, but in small doses it can feed our souls and give us strength. 

Thanks, Ben. Your reading and commenting means a lot to me. Appreciate the support. Cheers. Gary.

All were truly lovely; but the first one touched something deep in my memory and made me think of long-ago days with a touch of nostalgia and fondness.  

4 hours ago, centexhairysub said:

All were truly lovely; but the first one touched something deep in my memory and made me think of long-ago days with a touch of nostalgia and fondness.  

Thanks! . Great to hear from you again, centex. Nostalgia is an ache for what we might have lost... in this case, those innocent times when the world had no limits to two young boys with burgeoning imaginations and comaraderie. I have such fondness for those times too. Appreciate the support, my friend. Cheers!