FanLit

“There were two sides to my coin. Hopelessly insecure with a sprinkle of self-loathing on one side. God complex on the other. Some days, I thought I was the hottest thing on the face of the earth. Other days…I didn’t like to think about those days.“ Oh, River deep….a virtual hug for you. 🤗 (I hate this emoji for hugs, lol) I dare say this applies to a lot of us, not just River. Auggie, for all his newfound fame (or maybe because of it) is experiencing a new facet to his existential crisis, he’s now in a position where he never has to be alone, yet he’s lonelier than ever….he’s more comfortable fighting fatigue than loneliness; his relationship with Sage (love the name & the hue) is of great curiosity at this point, as it doesn’t seem to satisfy him at all but something makes him stay; It looks like Sage and River are the most important people in his life. Kenji-San saw River and Auggie canoodling & thinks they’re together, I don’t think he likes that, lol. When will Kenji give our River that mountain high? Hmm….

“A Tattoo for Lex”?

“So, he was more than hot. His soul said something to yours. Whether it be good or bad.” August, the profound. 😊 “There was no way he made me interact with other humans. I was going home and that was final. We both needed to get some rest. It’d been a long day. Nope. There was no way August talked me into making horrible decisions tonight.” “No way.” It's so cute how he tried to convince himself, lol. Betcha he meets Kenji again hanging out with Auggie.

Something tells me Kenji will have something to say about it as well, which may have more sway than anything else. Then again, I think Kenji can keep River plenty busy, lol.

Love at first sight, River style, lol….seems like Kenji got bit, too. There were dom/sub vibes about them in IHTT, let’s see how it plays out.

“The way I chose to customize my avatar was beneficial in some circumstances.“ He recognizes he puts on a persona for the world, who really sees the real River? Alec’s probably the only one he feels comfortable enough to be himself.

This is a fantastic first chapter that fleshes out River and some of his motley crew of misfit toys, lol. River’s clear eyed, succinct self awareness is astounding and leaves me agog. So many lines and passages slayed me in this chapter: “If God was so great, why did my dad leave me before his face became permanent in my memory? “ “The parts of my personality shaped by his leaving, sit with me in the dark when I’m alone.” “There are bits of him in everything I do. I feel him every time I’m by myself. The parts of my personality shaped by his leaving, sit with me in the dark when I’m alone. Those things I never wanted. I’ve spent my entire life pushing them down. It hasn’t mattered. Ever. They sit with me and they whisper. After thirty years, I still haven’t found a way to stop listening. “ Geezus. “With Alec, I was safe and sleep overtook me quickly.” Got my Alec sighting in chapter 1….Hi Alec!! 👋 River’s not used to anything remotely like benevolent parental concern so he chafes at Cameron and Lukas’ united front of care. I really enjoyed this, lol.

I don’t know how I missed this before but am glad to have found it now. Loved “I Hate This Town”; River is the best BFF & I’m glad to see a story about him….the synopsis makes me concerned that his match made in heaven might have turned to hell but I’ll go in hopeful….selfishly hoping there are mentions of Alec & Finn as well. 😬

This was powerful. I like your figurative “flex”, tim. ”Words are the only sword I own”…. The pen is mightier than the sword, even in times of strife, (maybe especially) you wield it well.

With his talented, devoted, passionate storytelling skills, a story by @Headstall will always take you on an emotional journey….this story is no different, as we read about the resiliency of characters in the Old West. Jubal’s journey to Bearpaw is a courageous triumph over loneliness and despair as he finds love, friendship and a part of the world where he is wanted and belongs….Hmm, seems the more things change, the more things stay the same. 😊 Give this story a read, you won’t be disappointed.

Not at the end of a @Headstall story. 🙂

“Gentle enough. Wasn’t paying much attention to anything but that big cock of yours pounding me into the mattress after you flipped me over.” “I didn’t pound you… did I?” Holy Heck, was he being a rough lover? It’s understandable given Jubal’s past experiences he may have a strong aversion to roughness during sex, I hope time can show him the difference between rough passion and violence, as anything that transpires between he and Lucas will always have love woven into it….then again, rough ain’t right for everyone. 🤷‍♀️ “Surely you know I love every minute we’re together? Never had such good coupling in my whole life.” “I figured,” Jubal answered, happy to hear the words.” How nice to see a humble brag from Jubal regarding how he treats his lover, lol. Our friend is developing confidence in his new relationship. 🎁 “Fact was, I didn’t owe Billy a thing, but I owed me something, you get my meaning?” “Yep, and it be the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” This was such an impressive statement, especially coming from Reid. When someone can come to this realization before they get into a relationship, they bring the healthiest, most clear minded version of themselves, which can only increase the chances for a successful union. “I think people be smarter than they might pretend, and it’s how things appear what they really care about,…” True then, true now.

Perfectly said, I couldn’t agree more.

Caught. It is an apt word for this chapter. We see our favorite newlyweds caught up in their physical passion for each other as a new chapter of their life begins….it seems loss of their leader finally caught the wildings for Jubal and Lucas….Reid seems to be caught up in developing a work life balance with Billy that’s leading to Samuel being given more responsibilities as town deputy. What a revelation that William Sr. walked down the same path Vincent did….I would imagine Vincent walking the same path Will Sr. did should any of his children be “made different” (though I hope Vincent has a healthy wife, longer marriage and bigger brood than Billy’s dad 🤞 ) It doesn’t get better than a parental seal of approval, unless it’s you realizing that you want to leave your boots under one bed once and for all, lol….it seems as Reid tamed Billy, Billy also tamed Reid, each caught up in the other. Kema lives on through Bean’s surprise foal and the name of Jubal’s land. ❤️‍🩹 You are a true horseman, Gary, your love and knowledge of them permeated the story, this chapter in particular; there is no doubt a subplot of this story is a man’s love for his horse….Sky is somewhere proud of her human. ❤️ You caught readers with the talented, devoted, passionate skill you bring to your writing long ago, Gary….it’s what enabled you to spin your yarn into a different genre and take us on a new lane of the same mesmerizing literary journey….each new time is the best time. 😉 Thank you for taking us on this jaunt through Bearpaw. I will miss Bearpaw Mondays. 🐾 🍻

What you said about cycle breaking resonates deeply with me, it’s what I’m trying to do with my son, who is very much like my father and sister. Growing from dysfunction had me choosing men like my dad, healing from dysfunction has me looking not to make the same choices again. 😊

If dysfunction are the roots from which we spring, how can we not be affected? One can only hope to grow and heal from it. 🙏

When you’re born into dysfunction, it’s hard to think you’re the right one when the majority of your family act wrong but deep down we know….the validation doesn’t come until you get away from that environment. Relatives are whom you’re related to by blood, family involves more than that.

I’m the eldest child of my parents’ union, (there’s another girl, two years younger). Through my father, I have an older brother (eight years older than me, ten years older than my sister). My sister and I were basically like this graphic, especially when we were younger…. I stayed quiet more than I should have on stuff because as the older sister, I was told my job was to look after and take care of her; in retrospect she deserved a couple of good ass whippings from me, even if it got me in trouble with the folks because “looking after her” set unhealthy boundaries I’m dealing with to this day. Ironically, I was the peacekeeper between my brother & sister-they argued like cats and dogs, I think the ten year age difference and the fact she was a girl was the only thing that kept my brother from getting physical.

Speaking of Jubal’s rescue….let's hope that nipple’s all healed up, our boys have a honeymoon coming up, 👀

Lawd, don’t get me started on things with webs, lol. as a young girl playing outside under a tree, a spider fell in my hair!!!!….the dance I did after that would’ve had passersby’s thinking I had a seizure, lol. Years later (in my womanhood) I have reason to believe a non poisonous 🤞spider bit my shoulder in my sleep, better in my sleep than wide awake, lol.

It also says something about Reid that he takes what Jubal has to say seriously, though I don’t quite know what, lol. Is he thinking out loud in his convos with Jubal?…This denotes a level of trust in a man he’s know a few days, which yes, speaks to his regard of Jubal but also his regard in his gut-like Lucas, Reid ran his own litmus test on Jubal and found his character sterling….no doubt this is something he must do often to people he meets as sheriff and he trusts his assessment and moves on accordingly, (very opposite to whom Jubal was when he first stepped foot in Bearpaw.) Are we seeing a vulnerable side to Reid in his conversations with Jubal?…like you mentioned before Gary, seeing Lucas & Jubal’s connection may have galvanized a change in the way Reid is looking at relationships, or maybe it started earlier when Reid unexpectedly fell in love with Lucas; maybe it’s Billy’s pursuit of him ( I get the impression Reid is usually the one saying “hello” first)….maybe it’s any of these things or some combination of all these things but a seismic shift is occurring in Reid….that he displays this underbelly to Reid is a sign of trust, as well as respect, something our dear Jubal’s not had enough of and richly deserves. Sorry for the long windedness-I meant to pose a question with two short possibilities and wound up writing a book, lol.

Thank the good Lord, and a successful patent for that. I reconcile myself to sharing the air with things with wings outside, inside is a different story, lol.

I wanted to make a separate comment about Jubal’s lending Reid the balance he needed to purchase the land he wanted….it was a gesture that touched me deeply and speaks to the type of man Jubal is and how very high his regard is for Reid…. I got the impression that even as a sheriff, Reid was unaccustomed to such a largesse. Jubal let go of the fear that paralyzed him and who emerged from that chrysalis, is a stronger, more beautiful version of who he’s always been.