Will Hawkins

I accepted Tanner's darkness – but revised my opinion of the author upward with adorkableness That is going to be my new favorite character descriptive.

Alright, Rush is to be installed as Alpha and Tanner is his mate, but too young for the position, Some very interesting dynamics being created here. On to Chapter three.

A pride is a family of lions and a punnet is a small basket. Translation of the Queen's English for your American readers. I suppose the terms Alpha and Omega apply to lions just as they do to wolves. In which case the Alpha is the leader, the biggest and strongest and the Omega is the runt. Interesting start for a story about 'shifters' (mythical beings who can appear in either animal or human form, usually werewolves, but here obviously lions ((werelions?)) not specified whether African type or American mountain type (werewolves are greatly effected by the phases of the moon – are lions as well?). Tanner is our hero and was the Alpha in training of his pride, but his father, the former Apha, died before Tanner was invested. Milo and Trek are his two besties, and are alphas in their own right. Tanner is gay and admits it to himself, but apparently every other member of the Pride is aware of his orientation. I am sure some of my basic confusion will be taken care of in following chapters.

I can well understand an interest in a story in which a character like the picture shows. Yes he bears his oriental breeding, but the twinkle in his eyes is so attractive. I believe he will break many hearts in his lifetime. He is a beautiful youth, indeed.

Even as a fussy and nit-picky old school teacher I only noticed one grammatical error in this chapter – come on, we’re talking about you and I here. (Come on, we’re talking about you and me here.) I order to get this right, just leave the 'you' out of the sentence: Come on, we’re talking about I here. That is obviously wrong. Your grammar sense tells you that 'me' would be correct. I am surprised your Editor did not detect it.

Pardon my ignorance, but what is a tiefling?

A great improvement over the standard 15-year-old 'coming out' tale we see so much of on GA. It has wonderful characterization Com, I can visualize the Samurai as he stands there, his blade moving so fast it cannot even been seen. Samurai swords are famous world-wide for their extreme precision and skill of manufacture. I have also seen pictures of warriors with the handle of a blade sticking up over their shoulders. Some blades are too long to hang at one's hip and are sheathed down the back. That location also allows for a great sweeping stroke to be made as the blade is withdrawn from the sheath so the enemy is cut in half before the blade is completely withdrawn.

went to the bank and withdrew the cash spotted his passport and wondered The friend of the deceased

By the way – the banner you have on your personal page is HOT. But what are those men doing?

Whoa! No license plates. we'll, we'll, that invites inquiry!

“Okay what do you got?” There are several ways this one can be rewritten: "Okay, what you got?" (slang), "Okay, what do you have? (correct English, but maybe too formal.) Note that a comma after "Okay" is sort of optional, it just makes the statement read better to pause there.

Inside a glazed vault... Why are you bringing him up? When the weather got colder they would transport.... goodman – good man The grammatical errors I am finding are small and inconsequential – do you wish me to continue to note them for you or just sit back and enjoy the reading? I know these chapters were posted a couple of years ago and I don't even know if you still check the comments. I try to make it a habit not to jump in where I am not wanted, but my history (as a very old schoolteacher) causes my fingers to itch when I spot an error. Some authors take offense at my suggestions (and they are merely suggestions) which you may choose to ignore if you prefer.

The word you were looking for is 'clique' pet of me don't – part of me doesnt'

It is a shame that you have tp be ill, but ir is great for your readers Get well, but slowly so you can keep writing.

The desires of a stripling son to prove himself in battle echo down through the ages, In our era sending an heir off to school carries with it the same challenges that battles with sword and spear did in other times. You have created an era, Sui, and its challenges with care. I am looking forward to seeing how each of the characters meets his particular problems. This tale echos many of the events of my life – my father was a warrior and had to leave his wife and child as he was assigned to distant battlegrounds. I was that child and was just as angry (and frustrated) as is the young man in this chapter, but I did not have a pottage bowl to throw on the floor. I was sent away to military school at which I failed the first year, went back the second year to prove I could hack it and then the final two years because I was loving the challenge. I graduated as valedictorian of my class and a member of the CO's staff.

If my High School physics is correct, the magnetism that creates compass direction in our world depends upon spin movements in the central magma of the earth... So, if you want to create a magnetic field just set the internal magma too spinning. Now the problem comes up, is there any internal magma on other planets in our solar system? That, I cannot help you with. Hey, you are the author, just put the internal spinning magma in your planet!

With Chris now being missing from his house of residence (not really a home) for several months, isn't his egg donor going to get into trouble with accepting money for his support, but him not being there? Or did that financial support end when he turned fifteen?

Yeoldebard is correct, when writing a story, it is frequently the characters that tell he author which way to go. In a story, the characters frequently take on a life of their own and lead the direction of the tale down their selected path.

Did anyone say what color the baby is?

A panda, a polar bear, and a tiger... it may be a while before the relationships work out, but eventually...

In my imagination I can see the dream ears and tail of Jian becoming more and more real – to the point that he can 'change' into a tiger form at will, much the same as Em changes into a polar bear whenever he wishes.

To the puppy, his master would smell the same in either form, skin or fur. It would be like putting on a white coat when he changed, so I can see that changing from one to the other form would be a little confusing to the puppy at first, but the little one would soon become used to it being the same person, just in a different coat.

with the tow of one – with the toe of one and beat him too it – and beat him to it

Help, please. How does one pronounce Xue? I get stuck on 'shoe' or 'Sue', maybe 'chew'. Give us poor puzzled readers a clue please.

Your research is impeccable. There really is a town named Moosonee, and there is no full year road to connect it to the outside. Transportation is by railroad in the portions of the year when the roads are impassible (the warmer months), with vehicles loaded on flatcars to be driven off at the Moosonee station. It is located near a large inlet from the Arctic Ocean (Hudson Bay) in northern Ontario. And across the river there is a town named Moose Factory as well. The amount of research you as an author have performed to give us an insight into the localities of the story is amazing and much appreciated.