Will Hawkins

Several things to enjoy in this chapter – the characterization of Luca; I can see how he is going to be an interest to Alex as a supplement/alternate to an arranged marriage, The use of that move on the overbearing warrior was a great gimmick, and Mortisse will have to collect his bets in the Underworld, won't he?

That is one of the best responses to, "I'm gay." I have ever heard: 'And' It couldn't be more expressive as a response between brothers to show the love and acceptance they have.

It seems strange that 'changing' will cure most diseases except cancer, one that is almost always fatal in animals.

It seems the two best men have started on a path of mutual discovery, but just like any new road, it is still 'under construction'.

Brother Freddies scruffy appearance in the earlier chapter, it appears was a red herring dragged across the trail of his being gay. And his negative attitude is designed to reinforce his negativity. I will bet that as soon as he takes a shower and shaves, he and Rick will begin to see promise in each other, though I do not see them falling to bed together in the next few chapters!

and what her interest lied -- and with what her interests lay. Yes there are several grammatical errors in this chapter, but they are not overwhelming and only serve to indicate that American English is not the author'e 'milk language'.

I am famous (some authors would say, 'infamous') for being nit-picky about grammar and word choice in a story. I am known as a troll as a matter of fact, but in this story, I see very little to object to. Yes, there is some awkwardness in word choice in the dialog, but the amount of that is not overwhelming. All in all. it seems to be an excellent start for a first-time author. I am sure that with experience the dialog will start to flow more easily. Above all, your writing shows promise – Illegitimi non carborundum. – keep learning and submitting, you show definite promise. Mister Will

The corona virus has a way of creeping even into the comments paragraphs, doesn't it? I consider myself so fortunate to live in the Brazilian rain forest and way, way away from the effects of that insidious disease. I no longer have any family to miss, even my late-life friends are thousands of mile away, so being alone is nothing new to me. That doesn't mean I enjoy it – I miss social contact just as much as anyone else, but it does mean I don't have to worry about infection. I use the writers on GA as my social contacts. The description of sexuality in this chapter is one of the finest I haver ever read. It had physical effects even at my advanced age (which is a rarity, to be sure).

“So being gay is normal?” “It is if you’re gay,” Theo laughed. Several wonderful and creative lines hidden in the story to date. Above is only one example. Love the maturity of the characters – such an improvement over the 'teen-aged comeing out to parents angst'. Or is it that I am an old man myself? (YOB 1932!). I am going to get lots of reading in while isolated by the virus, so I am looking forward to following your tale with its slightly different twist.

I, too am looking forward to a crash course . I have heard previously about silver having a negative effect on changers, but I've not hear it would prevent the process before. Looking forward as much as everyone else to an education. Mister Will

Learning about one's superpower is much like learning any other skill. First efforts are brought with failure, but as a technique is learned the skill becomes easier and easier. Keep trying, Ronnie, you have a superior teacher and eventually everything will work out. How many falls did it take you to learn to ride a bicycle?

Family obligations/expectations always filter down to the younger offspring, especially if those siblings have any special talent, , , can they sing, play an instrument, engage in a sport? They must always do it better than their older brothers and sisters.

Like two retired Army talking over war experiences. Old soldiers never die. By the way, your grammar and spelling have greatly improved. This is the second time I have read this story and I can see the difference. Mister Will

That response was to be expected, but Ronnie is going to need a lengthy period of training before he can get his super-powers totally under control. Because this is a story posted on GA we cab probably guess who is going to help with his training. Is there not something that can be done to make his father's life less painful without deadening medication? It is a shame that Dad has to put up with that crap. Mister Will

Lying may be the easy way out of a situation for a young person, but being attacked by someone in a dark alley and spending the night recovering from the trauma is not something that it is necessary for Ronnie to lie about. Though I am sure his father, being an ex-cop would dig deeper into the story, and that might expose Ronnie's status.A dead body in an alley is a little hard for a teen-ager to explain. Mister Will

This chapter seemed to be much like a standard – get cleaned up. get a good night's sleep, but interfered with by a bad dream; even that is part of the trauma recovery process – a small bit of background (about the father) then get back to normal life, but contact us if you make a decision or need support. All this well handled and with good pacing, but in no sense explosive. Even the clicking with SC is pretty standard 'recovery from trauma' fare,

I, who am a staunch supporter of Mark and his story telling abilities, wish, first of all to express my support in his present difficulties, and temper that with a bit of patience in following his current story line, I have just read chapter 22, but will go back and read it again when additional chapters are posted to be able to mentally tie it all together. Take care, Mark, of yourself and your family as a prime requirement, but know you have a multitude of friends out here in Readerland, who wish you well. Mister Will

He didn’t want kites – He didn’t want kits (kits in the sense of 'little ones perhaps)

the mere site of him – the mere sight of him I believe the block of ice has fallen off the end of the glacier!

a deviot category – deviate All the time I am reading about the emotions coursing through Ethan's brain, I can see the terminal end of a glacier, just where it goes into the sea. Just a meter upstream, there is a small crack into which a drop of water seeps. That night it gets cold and the water freezes exerting a tremendous pressure against the block of ice at the end of the glacier. It moves just a fraction of a millimeter, When the sun comes out the water in the crack melts and seeps down into the ice further, then that night freezes again. After a series of freeze/thaw cycles like this and with the water acting as a lubricant the pressure becomes great enough to cause the entire face of the glacier to break loose and come crashing down into the sea. This is a picture of the relationship between Ethan and Drew. We have reached the stage where the terminal face of the glacier breaks loose and crashed into the sea. We can only hope that no one is drowned in the Tsunami that results.

Keep up the good vibes Ethan. Somebody who can accept him without prejudice is just what Drew needs, not a lover (yet) just a friend who will accept him just the way he is. It isn't going to be easy, boys at your age Ethan, are so afraid of being tarred with the 'gay' brush they will do everything they can to 'prove' how straight they are, and according to the code, that requires them to behave negatively toward anyone who has been painted as 'gay'. Sometimes if the 'most popular' boy in their school, a football hero or something like that, who shows that he is not worried about being painted 'gay' just by associating with a gay boy makes a friend of him, it will be enough to clean up the gay boys reputation, but that may destroy mister popular's reputation. It is a road of life that is full of potholes no matter who is involved. But in reality the tripping, the bumping and the name calling are just signs of insecurity – 'if I am mean to the gay boy, then no-one will ever accuse me of being gay'. It is a form of protective armor.

I have been writing a story in which the two principal characters are a Yankee Army Doctor and a Virginia Rebel farm boy, both discharged from their respective armies after the signing of the peace agreement at Appomattox courthouse. One of the things the two of them face together is the ill feelings between the South and the North after the end of the battles of the Civil War. The two main characters are willing to forego the ill feelings that Yankee and Reb usually developed during the war and work to gather to make a new life together during the Reconstruction Era. It is much the same as the animosity we see here in the two packs of werewolves. Fortunately my Blue and Grey learned to depend upon each other rather quickly, but they still encountered the residual hatreds of some of the locals.

Resting a hand on the sheathe of my sword, – Resting a hand on the sheath of my sword, Sheathe is a verb, sheath , a noun 'the covering of a sword when hung at your hip'-

speaking as a misbegotten Yank, the dialect is going to be even more confusing to me than it might be to a Brit, but the story makes up for the extra effort it takes for me to understand it. I will muddle through with my handy dictionary of UK slang terms by my side. The potential is indeed there, now it is up to me to realize it. an intriguing Strat Kev. One small problem – it is probable that the size of the tunnel is either 24" or 2' rather than 2"! I do not believe even a small man could work a 2" tunnel!!!!

Okay, one question answered, , , . 'golden color with a large black mane', , , . definitely African lion. but Tanner is white? There is a new mystery; Albino lion?