Graeme

I also found this chapter disturbing. Neither guy came out of this looking good to me. Both were unsufferably arrogant; Ben with his 'think about my career' outburst, and Travis with his ordering and controlling of Ben. Both have previously shown a lot of good points, but here they starting to show their bad.

I felt a lot of foreboding at the ending. What happened to make Ben think of himself that way? Is it something to do with his career, or is it more personal? Who got hurt (killed?) to make Ben hate himself that much?

Not much to add to what the others have already said. Complex characters feel real, and these characters feel very real. I am not sure, but I sense some resentment coming from Travis with the way he seemed to command Ben during sex. He's hiding a history, and it's not looking pretty. I hope both guys come out of this intact.

It's interesting that most of the other reviews mentioned Katy, but none mentioned Christine. That, to me, was the bigger reveal in this chapter, along with the hint of pain from Travis when his scar was mentioned. Ben is showing signs of trauma as a result of Christine's abortion, and Travis is showing similar signs of trauma with respect to that scar. There's some pain coming for both of them...I can feel it.

One thing I noticed was how Ben is lying to himself. His thought mentioned his 'fleeting interest' in Travis, and he became offended at the thought he may be a 'faggot', but then he initiated the kiss, and was more than willing to participate. It was what he wanted, with no sign of it being 'fleeting'. In short, Ben still needs to come out to himself...and that has to happen soon or someone is going to get hurt.

Katy, at fifteen, is clearly infatuated, but once she's had a chance to calm down, will she be willing to hurt her brother? We'll have to wait and see... Ben is tipsy, but he seems to have made up his mind as to what he wants, and damn the consequences. He may have second thoughts in the morning, but I think he's shown his true desires. The question in my mind is whether, when under pressure, he will deny those desires, and if so, for how long?

Shawn certainly made things more complicated, but hopefully he doesn't repeat that again. A good chapter

Travis showed Ben the spare room, and then showed Ben his own room. I wonder which one Ben will spend the night in?

Ben still has some growing to do. Melissa also looks like being a critical part of the story soon. I'm looking forward to what happens next

Nicely done. We know something happened because Ben remembers tasting Travis's lips, but they fell asleep apart; Ben in the bed and Travis on the couch. What exactly happened, and will either guy remember? That's great storytelling.

I just wanted to say how impressed I am. What I really liked was the description of the waitress and her limp. I was told a long time ago that there are no minor characters, only characters with minor parts. She's a great example Now to see how things develop between Ben and Travis...

A great start Nice pacing and character development. I can already feel how jaded and secretly miserable Ben is. He puts up a good front to others, but he wants something, and I'm not sure he knows what it is.

Peter is in a situation where there is no obvious right answer. He's going with the 'grit your teeth and live with it' option, which helps Alan but puts more pressure on Peter. If the pressure doesn't last too long, he will survive, but if it's not over soon, he could explode...

Peter's no saint, but then most of us aren't. He's definitely resenting the kids interfering in his relationship with Alan, but he's equally trying his hardest not to increase the pressure on Alan by saying something. That may be the wrong thing to do, but he's staying silent out of his love for his partner. I like my characters to be human, not superheroes. Humans have flaws. It's overcoming those flaws that's important, not being perfect

Peter understands that the kids come first, but that doesn't mean he still doesn't resent the impact they're having on his relationship with Alan. Sadly, this isn't unusual. As Carol told Alan, when a child is added to a relationship, it changes the dynamics and the change is not always accepted happily. In Peter's favour, he's not walking away from Alan, and he's not telling Alan he's upset because he knows that Alan's focus has to be on looking after the two boys. Peter's not perfect. He contains a normal amount of selfishness and self-centeredness. Is his love for Alan strong enough to get him past this current crisis? Only time will tell.

I think we all are

Alan leant over and gave Peter a kiss. “Have fun at work.” Peter chuckled. “I doubt it, but have fun at your playgroup. Don’t let all the other mothers run roughshod over you.” Alan grinned and gave his partner a light punch on the arm. “I’m not a mother.” The grin faded. “The boys have got a mother, and I’m never going to take her place. I’m not taking Craig’s place, either, but if the boys need a father figure, I’m here.” Peter sighed his acknowledgement of that truth and held out his arms

Unfortunately, I wasn't in a position to read the chapter when it was first posted, so I'm coming in late with my review and most of what I would've wanted to say has already been said Instead, what I'd like to say is for all budding authors to have a good look at this chapter. As stated previously, it flows nicely and there really isn't anything you can cut from it to shorten it. In other words, it's as long as it needs to be. But what you need to pay attention to are the little details. The comment about the appearance of the new school buildings, the tentativeness of Jackson in the car about wanting to hold Luke's hand, but concerned that it would be a mistake, the detail of what the characters are doing as well as saying, such as drying themselves with towels while speaking, the way Simon frowned when he realised his shirt was wet after kissing Charlie, the way Charlie ran his hand through his wet hair, as just a few examples. It's these little things that bring a story to light, that make the story feel 'real'. Have a good look at this chapter and learn how it's done. If you want to bring a story to light, this is a skill you need to develop. Krista's given you a great example with this chapter

Happy Birthday, Cassie!

Happy Birthday, Matt! I hope you have a great day

LOL. Alan is definitely ready for a fight. And I'm sure everyone here is hoping he wins that fight. We'll see soon, hopefully, if that's the case, and what injuries, if any, result...

This is chapter where Garret shows his true colours...and they're wonderful. I couldn't help smiling at how protective and loving he was with Callen. The ending was a downer, but honesty is always best.

Thank you! Yes, the two guys are doing a pretty decent job. Alan's doing most of the heavy lifting, but he couldn't do it without Peter being there, too.

Thank you! Yes, now that Alan's home full-time, the dynamics will change and there will hopefully be less pressure on Peter. We'll have to wait and see, though, because it's still change and that brings uncertainty.

Thank you! Alan's not a saint, though. He's just someone trying his best to be a good parent.