CincyKris
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Chapter 7: Milk slices and maps
CincyKris commented on Kileoli's story chapter in Chapter 7: Milk slices and maps
First I want to thank you for this amazing chapter. There are popular authors that I choose not to read because they produce many well written, but formulaic stories. You write from your heart, using your personal experiences. Your characters could not be written by anyone else in the world. I so appreciate that you are willing to share so much of yourself to us. I felt like Liam was a coiled wire just waiting for the tension to be released before he would unravel in a loud and spectacular fashion. I kept waiting for it through each scene. Thankfully, Rick was perceptive enough to not say words that could have made everything worse. He continues to balance and support Liam. -
My father died when he was only 50, I was 28. My beloved grandfather died in a construction accident when I was 7. Both were terrible, but I think I was too young for my grandfather and too old for my father to experience the deep confusion and conflicted pain felt by Leonid. You did a wonderful job putting such complex feelings into words.
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Great tension in this opening chapter. I think that neither father nor son understood each other, and couldn't figure out how to communicate.
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Turmoil Chapter 2 – London and a helping hand
CincyKris commented on Paladin's story chapter in Turmoil Chapter 2 – London and a helping hand
I would imagine that things will change dramatically between Martin and his children, now that he has more resources. And that Natasha will fight it tooth and nail.- 32 comments
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We have reached the point where our heroes must separate from their friends, lovers, and trusted companions. They each have their own journeys and battles ahead of them before they can accomplish their ultimate goal together.
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Chapter 1: One More Reincarnation
CincyKris commented on Kileoli's story chapter in Chapter 1: One More Reincarnation
I haven't yet read Liam's and Rick's origins, so I'm looking forward to this. -
This was a great chapter, perhaps the best all-encompassing look into the couple's lives. We saw Liam's anxiety and Rick's teasing humor (probably also based in anxiety over being home without Liam) in the van, Liam's competence and engineer brain at the conference, and both of the guys' vulnerability and love for each other at homecoming. We saw each of the girls' personalities, also. My favorite line: a toddler who had licked the handrail and then smiled like a small, moist villain In my experience, all toddlers are small, moist villains!
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Classic George, winning over the locals and making important connections, both politically and personally. His handsome Capitan will be a future conquest.
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Looks like an exciting secret mission is in our future. We have another mention of 10 year old Necho, the village boy. Does Luther see a resemblance to an old lover? Just how many heirs to the throne do we really have?
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I was having a very bad day with my rheumatoid arthritis, as well as a rough day at work when this chapter posted, so I didn't get around to commenting or even reading the comments. I can't believe no one has yet mention the coincidence of Raemande's 10 year old child (current whereabouts unknown) and the village child Necho, also 10 years old, who wants to be a knight someday. How much do you want to bet he was adopted by the village elder?
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Chapter 1 – Is it a scam?
CincyKris commented on Paladin's story chapter in Chapter 1 – Is it a scam?
I'm intrigued by this mysterious client in London. Did his mother have some secrets? -
Thank you for this adventure! Kieran learned so many new tricks! I know we'll hear from Makelan and the giant orcas again.
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The first comments belong to the next chapter. The most interesting thing learned in this chapter is that there is a secret passage from the dungeon to the dark halls beneath the castle. Hopefully this knowledge will come in handy if Rae ever gets out of his cage.
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Judayah will find that being untrustworthy always begets the inability to trust in others. He is a snake in a pit of vipers.
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This victory was a hell of a team effort! The earth orcas expanded that team exponentially. Ranevargar and Maurice will be surprised and impressed, and maybe a little disappointed they missed out on the fun adventure.
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That was a happy and satisfying chapter until the end! I hope the mysterious new knight didn't stick his sword into Luther's back very far.
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Things might start heating up, literally! This was a very exciting chapter, so fast paced. It looks like we get a head to head matchup with the Usurper next chapter!
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If Chandar actually has this magical sword, he will hopefully lend it to Luther. Was that a normal bird or a special bird?
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Chapter 3 - Brothers in Arms
CincyKris commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 3 - Brothers in Arms
Maybe Marcus should have his parents contact James' parents for a conversation about unconditional love. I'm a little confused on timing. The confrontation happened in March, but then after that James' parents wanted him home for Thanksgiving, which is in October in Canada. -
I love seeing Slav's and Rory's relationship grow like this. I bet his sister would be impressed and comforted by him living with an "adopted" family, and will probably not be very surprised at his coming out.
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We are meeting new characters who will hopefully be included in the opposition to Septimus. I hope Willem keeps any bad news to himself, Septimus seems the type that would kill the messenger!
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I am very much looking forward to this fantasy!
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The trip through the portal will be exciting! I think that Kieran's best feature is his insatiable quest for knowledge.
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The Holiday: Sightseeing
CincyKris commented on Robert Hugill's story chapter in The Holiday: Sightseeing
I look forward to their response when Gavin and Jason have that conversation with Grandma and Grandpa. The whole extended family will be so pleased. -
Chapter 2 - New Beginnings
CincyKris commented on ChromedOutCortex's story chapter in Chapter 2 - New Beginnings
Marcus is settling in to his new life, but his past is lurking in the background. Hopefully his new friends will have his back when he needs them.
