-- Chapter 29 --

It was just a few days later when Matt finally saw his chance to pass that message on to Casey. He had seen Casey around a few times since he had last spoken with Constable Leggatt, but the moment never seemed to be that perfect time he had been looking for.

Today was different though. Just after four o’clock, Casey and his two favourite goons had exited the nearby café, and were ambling up the street sharing a bag of chips, just as Matt was carrying a heavy carton containing four plastic bottles of motor oil out to a car for Mrs Dalhunty. By the time he had placed the carton in the back of the station wagon and thanked her for shopping with them, he stepped onto the footpath just as Casey and his friends were approaching, eating their crisps and laughing at something on one of their phones. The afternoon sun caught the edge of Casey’s smirk the way it always had.

‘Fag alert!’ one of the boys with him coughed from behind his hand, when he spotted Matt, while thinking that he wouldn’t have heard him.

Casey glanced up and saw Matt standing there on the footpath, arms crossed, as he stared down the three youths.

‘Yeah . . . I wonder what he wants?’ Casey quipped, just loud enough for Matt to hear.

When Casey shifted to step around him, Matt moved with him and blocked the path.

‘What this fag wants,’ Matt said, his voice low and measured, ‘is to give you a message worth passing on to your friends.’

‘Yeah? And what’s that?’ the boy replied, his voice filled with the same smugness that he wore on his face.

‘Just that we’ve all heard the rumours. And we all know exactly who was involved in that little joyride. Just wanted you to know that if Levi’s name gets specifically mentioned in relation to the car getting wrecked, and if the cops come knocking on our door again, he’ll be more than happy to pass on the names of every single person who was with him . . . and just who he thinks it might have been who torched it afterwards. Just wanted to give you a heads up, that’s all!’

Casey’s face suddenly went blank, as he opened his mouth, and then closed it. Dylan and Jarrad, who had stepped back a bit, had also gone quiet.

Matt held Casey’s gaze, and the silence stretched for another two seconds, then he turned and walked back towards the store without even bothering to look back over his shoulder. He didn’t feel great about having to do that, but he still felt that it was necessary.

By the end of the week he was pleasantly surprised, however, when a new rumour seemed to have hit the streets, and some unknown hoodlum from Macquarie Harbour was being blamed. When Constable Leggatt called into the store and mentioned that they had a new lead to follow up on, it was all he could do not to smile at the earnest young copper.

***

After that, life in Thompsonville seemed to settle back into a new, careful rhythm.

Jimmy and Dan were more or less back to normal with Levi. They sat together at lunch, traded the usual rubbish, occasionally dragged him into a game of handball, and after school they could often be seen down on the beach, just chilling out. Brooke was still prickly, but she had started hanging around the group again. Her conversations with Levi carried a sharp edge, and they sparred in short, pointed exchanges that left the other two boys exchanging quiet looks and the occasional smirk. Jimmy called it entertaining. Dan simply shook his head and grinned.

Levi took the sparring without complaint. It was better than silence, and he liked that they were at least back on speaking terms.

When the last week of school started, before the spring holidays began at the end of September, Matt mentioned that the school holidays were close and asked if there was anything that Levi wanted to do, or if he had any plans.

‘I hadn’t really given it much thought,’ the boy replied, before shovelling some more mashed potato into his mouth.

‘Well, Luke and I have been thinking . . .’ Matt said.

‘What about?’

‘Both of us taking some time off work and heading back to the old town for a bit,’ he replied, while reaching for the salt. ‘Be a good chance to catch up with your grandparents, see what that real estate agent is up to with the house, then we thought we might spend a few days out in the bush while we’re there. Camping.’

Levi looked up, surprised. ‘Camping? Really? Where?’

‘Well, it’s the cheapest way to take a break, mate. The fresh mountain air will do us all the world of good, and besides, it’ll get us away from this environment for a few days.’

Levi nodded. ‘You didn’t say where though.’

‘A place called Cockatoo Creek,’ Luke answered. ‘You ever heard of it? It’s a place we visited a few times years ago, and it has some special meaning for us, so we thought we’d like to give you a look at it.’

Levi glanced back at his father, who gave a small confirming nod. He didn’t say anything but just left the idea sitting on the table.

For a few moments Levi pushed his food around on his plate. The trip would mean no surfing. No hanging at the beach with Jimmy and Dan. No chance of running into Brooke and trading another round of careful barbs. At the same time, something inside him was curious. These were the places his dads had come from. The ground that had shaped them before he existed.

Maybe it would actually be cool to check them out?

***

He told the others the next day at lunch.

‘We’re going camping,’ he said, trying to sound more put-out than he felt. ‘In the middle of nowhere. No reception, probably. Definitely no surf.’

Jimmy laughed. ‘I’m sure you’ll live.’

Dan shrugged. ‘Could be worse. Could be stuck here with us the whole time.’

Brooke raised an eyebrow. ‘Try not to get eaten by a drop bear.’

It was the closest thing to a joke she had offered him in weeks. Levi almost smiled.

‘Or you might even see a Yowie!’ Dan added.

‘As if!’ Jimmy chided his boyfriend, giving him a gentle shove and a laugh as he did so, while Brooke simply rolled her eyes.

That afternoon, instead of heading to the beach with the boys, he rode over to the church. Father Costas was in the garden, sleeves rolled up, tying a tomato plant to a stake. He straightened when he saw Levi and wiped his hands on his trousers.

‘Heading off this weekend, I hear.’

‘Yeah. News travels fast apparently. Camping. I’m not too sure about it. How did you know?’

Father Costas smiled. ‘Bumped into your father at lunch time. Why don’t you come inside. I think I need a drink.’

As he followed Father towards the presbytery, the holy man continued, ‘You know, the wilderness has a long history of being a useful place. Even Jesus spent time out there before he began his real work. Not because it was comfortable – it was far from being that – but because sometimes you need to step away from all the noise before you can hear yourself think . . . or hear anything else, for that matter.’

He paused, allowing Levi a chance to digest that, then added more quietly as they climbed the steps, ‘I don’t think I’ve told you previously, but I had a difficult relationship with my own father when I was young. We didn’t talk easily. But a few times we went camping, just the two of us, hiking through the bush, fishing and stuff. With no television, no other people around, and nothing to hide behind, it kind of gave us space that we never had at home. Of course, it didn’t fix everything overnight, but it did give us time to communicate in a way that we couldn’t when there were distractions all around us. Sometimes the bush does that. It strips things back.’

As Father pulled two cans of soft drink from the refrigerator and handed one to Levi, the boy nodded slowly. The words settled somewhere in his chest, right next to the earlier line about hitting rock bottom.

They sat and chatted for a while, as they sipped their drinks. Levi liked the easy way that Father could talk about almost anything and make it sound interesting. When he eventually had to leave, he tossed their cans in the rubbish bin and then thanked Father.

‘Safe travels, my friend,’ Father Costas said, before quickly embracing the boy, then letting him go. ‘Enjoy your time in the bush, and try not to fight the quiet too hard.’

‘I’ll try, Father. I’ll see you in a few weeks.’

***

They packed the Nissan on the Saturday, ready for an early getaway the following morning, filling the rear tub with camping equipment borrowed from Aaron and Tony, along with swags, two battered coolers, and more food than three people could reasonably need.

Matt drove. Luke sat in the front passenger seat with a map open on his phone even though they both knew the way by heart. Levi stretched out across the back seat and watched Thompsonville fall away behind them.

‘Do you really think we’ve got everything we need?’ Levi ventured to ask, once they had set off.

‘Maybe,’ his father replied. ‘We could probably borrow some gear off Phil if there’s anything else we think of.’

‘Who’s Phil?’ asked Levi.

‘A cousin of mine . . . and yours, I guess. You haven’t met him yet . . . he’s been away working, but apparently he’s back for a while,’ Matt replied. ‘Dad told me last night when I was talking to him.’

Levi simply nodded.

‘What about Hoss?’ Levi heard Luke ask quietly.

‘Not sure,’ Matt answered.

‘Is he another cousin?’ Levi asked from the back seat.

‘No, mate. One of our school friends, who we haven’t seen in a while.’

Levi did wonder why this guy Hoss was mentioned if he wasn’t related. What was he missing?

The first hour carried a low-level tension – the kind that comes from leaving one life before the next one has properly begun. Their conversation stayed light. Road signs. The weather. Whether they had remembered the gas bottle. But gradually the talk loosened, and when Luke told a story about a school camp that had gone wrong in spectacular fashion – with a bridge over a creek collapsing and dropping a bunch of students in a shallow, but very cold creek, Matt laughed properly for what seemed like the first time in days. Levi found himself listening more than speaking, but the listening felt easier the further they travelled.

By late morning the country had changed. The flat coastal plain gave way to rolling hills, then to steeper country thick with gum trees. The air coming through the open windows smelled different – drier, sharper, edged with eucalyptus and wattle.

They pulled up for a lunch break at the same little country store where they always stopped, ate their hamburgers in the shade of a eucalyptus tree, while a Kookaburra laughed at them nearby, before then continuing on their way.

***

Matt’s parents were waiting on the verandah when they pulled up in the early afternoon. The welcome was warm and immediate. Levi’s grandmother pulled him into a firm hug and held on a second longer than usual. His grandfather clapped him on the shoulder and asked about school, almost as if the last few months had never happened.

Levi dropped his carry-bag into the bedroom he had used when last here . . . it was his room now, while Matt and Luke went down to their old flat at the bottom of the garden. Everybody had their own place – their own little piece of home.

That night even Luke’s parents came over, and the meal was large and loud. Stories from Matt and Luke’s childhood surfaced and were argued over. Levi sat at the table and let the familiar voices wash over him, lift him, and in a strange way, helped show him that he belonged. It felt odd being back here, but not entirely unwelcome.

It was late when Luke’s parents left, and it wasn’t long after that when everyone was looking for a bed. There was a quick packing up of the dinner things, but it was decided that the real clean up could wait until Monday morning.

That night was a restless one for Levi, as he mulled over everything that he had learnt that night, and what was going to be happening in the days that were set to follow. It was going to be a big week, and he wasn’t quite sure just what it was going to bring.

***

On Monday morning, they drove over to the real estate agent’s office to check if there was anything happening on that front. The woman behind the desk was cautiously optimistic. Another offer had been made on the house, and contracts were being prepared, but nothing was certain yet, she reminded them. Still, it was the closest the place had come to selling in a long time, so there was still hope.

Afterwards they paid a visit to the house itself. It looked smaller than Levi remembered. Older. The lawns were long and patchy, and weeds had staked a claim in the garden beds along the front fence.

Without being asked, he decided to check the old shed, in the hope that his grandfather’s old lawnmower would still be there, and surprisingly it was. There was still fuel in the steel Jerry can, so he topped up the fuel and then pushed the old machine out into the sunshine.

It took a few pulls of the cord, but soon enough the mower was running . . . even if a little rough at first, but the coughs and splutters soon died down and the machine was once again running as he remembered it, so then he set to work.

The physical rhythm felt good – the same clean satisfaction he had started to find in the church garden. Matt and Luke walked the boundary and talked in low voices about things that Levi couldn’t hear while he pushed the mower up and down the slope, and along the fencelines.

After a few laps in the hot sun, Levi was beginning to sweat up, so at one point he stopped and pulled off his t-shirt, hanging it over a wire on the old Hills hoist, before continuing. When Levi reached the back fence, a few minutes later, he noticed an old neighbour had come over and was leaning on the fence and watching him, before waving Levi over once he knew the boy had noticed him there.

‘Hello, Mr Hardwick,’ said Levi, as he extended his hand for the old neighbour to shake.

‘G’day, Levi. It’s been a while.’

‘Yeah . . . I’ve moved down the coast to live with my dad.’

‘And how are you finding it down there? Settling in okay?’

‘It’s . . . bigger,’ Levi replied. ‘But I’m glad I went. Although I guess I didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter.’

‘Well, just so long as you’re finding your feet, lad. That’s the main thing. You’re certainly looking like the place agrees with you.’

They spoke for a few minutes more, about the weather and the possible sale of the house, but both knew that they needed to move on.

‘It’s been good talking to you, Levi. And I hope everything goes well for you down there.’

‘Thank you, Mr Hardwick. It was good to see you as well,’ he replied. And he meant it.

***

That evening Levi’s world expanded, when four more people arrived on the doorstep. Matt and Luke greeted their old friends with enthusiasm.

DJ arrived first, still carrying that same easy grin he had worn at school. It was as if no time had passed since he had last seen Matt and Luke. With him was Dwayne – solid, quiet and dependable – and as Levi would learn through the course of the evening, he was the man who had been there the night Luke was assaulted in a public toilet many years earlier. A friendship with Luke and the others had formed in the aftermath, and later Dwayne and DJ had become a couple. They were clearly settled with each other now.

There was still so much that Levi didn’t know about his dads, and he was hoping to rectify that.

Hoss turned up not long after, and with him came Phil, Matt’s cousin. The two of them still carried that slightly unfinished quality they had always had. Phil had once been engaged to a girl; the engagement had ended the day she walked in on him kissing Hoss, in the garage alongside Matt and Luke’s flat. They had been on-again, off-again ever since – close, affectionate, but never quite willing to name the thing between them out loud. Never quite able to commit.

As the barbeque was fired up and food started appearing, thanks to Matt’s parents, the six adults fell into the old patterns quickly. Laughter. Shared memories. Gentle ribbing. Levi sat a little to the side at first, then gradually found himself pulled into the conversation. No one made a fuss about him. No one asked careful questions about the last few months. They simply included him, wrapped him up in their currents, in much the same way as the sea includes a new swimmer once he stops struggling against the tide. And he liked that.

At some point the talk turned to the planned camping trip. DJ looked at Dwayne, then at the others.

‘We’ve got a couple of free days,’ he said. ‘Wouldn’t mind seeing the old place again.’

Hoss nodded. Phil shrugged in agreement. And just like that, the group for Cockatoo Creek grew.

***

Later that night, after the visitors had gone and the house had settled into quietness, Levi sat on the back step and looked out at the dark shape of the distant hills. Tomorrow they would drive further into the bush, beyond those hills, into something that was unknown to him. Tomorrow they would reach the creek that still mattered to Matt and Luke for reasons he only half understood. And a ripple of excitement, which he never thought he would experience, ran through him.

He thought about Father Costas’ words. About space. About things being stripped back. About a father and a son finding a different kind of room to be around each other.

He thought about what else there was to know about his father, and the man who loved him.

Behind him, the screen door opened and his dads stepped out into the cool night. Matt’s voice suggested that it was time to turn in. Levi looked up at them and nodded.

‘Goodnight,’ he said, as they passed him, each giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder as they went. He stayed on the step a moment longer, watching them walk down the path towards the flat. Luke opened the door and light spilled out, illuminating Matt. He gave Levi a wave before going inside, then the door closed.

In the morning they would head into the bush, and a new adventure would begin.

To be continued . . .