scoopny

They can try and kick me, but they best be aware, I WILL KICK BACK. Trust. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the ACLU is not the only organization that fights for gay, lesbian, transgender rights. There's also Lambda Legal where I worked last summer, which is actually the largest gay and lesbian legal organization in the country. They successfully litigated the case Lawrence v. Texas, which overturned sodomy laws nationwide, won the case that resulted in civil unions in New Jersey and lost the boy scout case. Their most recent win was getting a trial court in Iowa to say that banning gay marriage violates the state constitution (that's still pending on appeal). They also do a lot of work on issues relating to bullying in schools (FYI anyone in any state who is being bullied because of their sexual orientation, there's federal law that protects you, that protects anyone from bullying for any reason, so just rememeber that if anyone is being harassed in school.) , transgender rights and HIV discrimination. Their sister organization, GLAD (Gay and Lesbian Defender) won the marriage case in Massachussetts and the civil unions case in Vermont. Both the ACLU and Lambda are parties to the lawsuit challenging marriage laws in California. There's also the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce and of course the Human Rights Campaign which is more of a lobbying organization than a civil rights group, they work to change legislation at the federal level mostly in Washington. That's really just the tip of the iceberg, there are many, many brave organizations at the state level doing great work. All those national organizations have hotlines where they can refer you to local organizations that can help. Amen. I think of what my grandfather went through growing up in the deep south in the 1920s, getting kicked out of school at the age of 10, moving to New York City on his own at the age of 16, working in demeaning jobs all his life. He was mad, he was angry, but he was never bitter. If you had saw him back in the day, you would have thought he was a millionaire the way he dressed. But he lived in the PJs. He is my example. I've faced nothing as hellish as he did, but he still managed to leave this place a better world than he found it. That's my goal too. Leave better for the ones who come behind me. I might have had some bad days, but I know it'll only get better. Sorry that was waay off topic, but suffice to say, i'd ask, but I'd make sure we had decided we wanted to spend our lives together before I asked. One thing they teach us in school, never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.

My mother was sick last fall and that really made it clear how close and complicated our relationship with, it was also a wake-up call to the fact that she won't be around forever. And it also reminded me of the importance of friends. My dear friend, who is a doctor, actually came down to New York and sat with my mom after surgery and sat with us after the doctor came out of surgery to help ask questions. I don't know how I could ever repay him. Very few people can put my mom at ease and he did. So it reminded me that I shouldn't take for granted the important people in my life.

I have a lot of romantic songs I like and listen to from time to time is Foolish Love by Rufus Wainwright, an openly gay singer and the words of the song, I've felt many times. I don't want to hold you and feel so helpless I don't want to smell you and lose my senses And smile in slow motion With eyes in love I twist like a corkscrew The sweetness rising I drink from the bottle, weeping Why won't you last? Why can't you last So i will walk without care Beat my snare Look like a man who means business Go to all the poshest places With their familiar faces Terminate all signs of weakness Oh, all for the sake of a foolish love

I definitely agree with this. You get the feeling reading the first two chapters and that the author will be exploring more complexities as the story continues, that not everything is as it appears on the surface. I don't see it as a whodunnit in the traditional sense. I see it was a "why did this tragedy happen" story and how did this tragedy affect the lives of the people in this school.

Being a jock is a white male thing, I must be watching the wrong professional sports in the United States.

There are plenty of gay icons in classical music, Tchaikovsky, the modernist composer John Cage, the conductor Leonard Bernstein, Camille Saint Seans (love Carnival of the animals), Aaron Copeland one could go on for a very long time. There is some debate over whether Schubert or Handel were also gay, but that will probably never get resolved to anyone's satisfaction. Personally my gay icons are James Baldwin and Bayard Rustin, not music stars, but people who were openly gay and did amazing things when few people were out of the closet.

Actually you know, what bothers me most and this has happened once or twice is not that a guy isn't into you, but that he is and I don't know because of family pressures, society, what have you, doesn't think a relationship would work because you're both of cultural or racial. I mean that quickly makes a boy not worth my time, but still, annoying.

There are geeky black guys out there! Trust on that. . But yes they may be few and far between. Once a guy came up to me with the pick-up line "I'm in the mood for chocolate tonight." I laughed so hard, I couldn't even hear the next words he said.

Not to be a thread nanny but NO ONE uses the word mulatto anymore in english, bi-racial is the preferred term.

I know you guys like the term Dairy queen, but yikes! Don't use that around term some of my asian friends, they will freak out, potato queen will be worse actually. Although this thing about guys liking particular races does make approaching a guy quite difficult. You have to do a quick mental calculation whether it is even worth talking to a guy because he might rule you out because you're the wrong race -- I've even had that happen to me when I hit on black guys before, . And then it means that maybe I won't approach a guy because I'll think that I have no chance because I'm just not his type and I'll be missing out because in fact, he doesn't care. Dating is so confusing! I mean I understand it and all, but it just doesn't seem as much fun to limit yourself, lol. A guy can seduce me with an interesting story. One guy I went on a date with told me all about growing up in Korea, another all about Jamaica, if you can tell me about something I don't already know, if you can make me laugh (or laugh at my ridiculously bad jokes) and feel at ease, that's enough for me.

I can safely say that my university while in the midwest and in one of the more hostile states to gay rights in the country is one of the most welcoming universities in the country when it comes to gays and lesbians. The environment is such in that if someone really wants to be homophobic, they'll find plenty of people willing to set them straight, so to speak.

I agree with you completely. It's not really how a guy looks that matters to me (I mean it does matter to an extent but you can be completely totally goregous and then open your mouth and say something completely stupid and all of a sudden I lose interest faster than air escaping from a punctured tire) but more who the guy person is, if I'm attracted to a type, it's more about a personality type (sweet funny, nerdy boys of any race will get my attention) more than a race.

Congrats man that's great news!

I'm older than Jack and have a few hairs on my chest, possibly not more than four. I can go a good 7 days without shaving and then I only shave because well it's kind of embarrassing that I could go another week without shaving and people would barely notice. My friend said once when I told him I hadn't shaved in over a week that I looked like a teenager who was about to have his first shave. I like chest hair. I like body hair on men. I can live with back hair, unless it's at the Robin Williams level of back hair. FYI, Paki is not really a term you would want to call a pakistani guy unless you wanted him to slug you in the face.

Yeah I really liked the hook of this story as well, because it promises to reveal more details of what happened that day at the school as we see the perspective of different people in the story. There are things you want to know more about and you want to learn more about the characters.

Oh no my very good friend was a gay guy in college and is now a lesbian, it's not rare at all. Some people remain gay, even when they change their gender. It's much more common than you think. Sexuality and gender are a wonderfully complex entities. I wouldn't assume someone's sexual orientation will change just because their gender changes.

Congrats Benji your posts are always something to look forward to.

I think people very early find out that there's something "wrong" with them, they may not be able to put a name to it, but they feel it. Often, not always, they'll find ways to express their true gender even if they don't realize they're doing it, much like many gays and lesbians do when they are in the closet. What I'm saying is that even if someone doesn't "figure out" what their true gender is, I don't think its something that anyone paying attention to their partner wouldn't notice in some way, even if they don't acknowledge it, much in the same way, some spouses in heterosexual relationships might see signs their partner is actually gay but may not know how to recognize it or name it. It's not like someone out of the blue starts acting like a different gender. So that's why I think, even if someone was transgendered and didn't know it, I think people would pick up on this confusion even before they started dating and either it wouldn't come as a surprise when their partner told them the truth or they would be comfortable with the idea. Another wrinkle, what if your partner realizes they are transgender and then realizes they are still gay and you're incompatible with them? That also happens in a few cases because gender and sexuality aren't as tightly linked as one may think. Would you want your partner to dump you because now you're the wrong gender?

I've pretty bad at saying it to almost anyone really, I freeze up really, although in certain contexts, like a letter, I find it easier to say. But if someone I care about a lot says it to me, I will definitely say it back to them.

Haha will you still be saying Go Habs go if the Habs make it to the finals against the Ducks? Law school has many social events, so I frequently find myself having to nurse a glass of wine or two to look respectable.

I'll have a glass of wine or two with dinner. I try to keep it to that, if I drink too much I get a little silly.

Yeah oops I meant more expensive not cheaper. Yeah I had no idea they were that pricey. Yeah they keep raising the taxes in New York as well, I think they want to raise it in New York to at least $8.50 or $9 a pack.

I think when people stop falling in love, then the romantic genre will die, until then, sure there may be peaks and valleys, but they won't go away.

I would assume that if your significant other was transgender, he or she would have brought it up earlier in the relationship, like before the two of you got serious, so you could make the choice of whether this is what you wanted. I mean that's the ideal. If someone couldn't trust their partner that they couldn't tell them they were transgender until well into the relationship, then I don't know if the relationship was healthy to begin with.