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well, if I offended Mikie by calling you Nico, I apologize...if I offend you Nickolas..then I apologize to you....it wasn't my intention to do that. I will remember not to use it or post for offending. Michael

Nico, um, trust me, there are Republicans and Democrats who support same sex marriage...you are incorrect to say that Republicans see it as a religious issue but Democrats don't....so you can't support Democrats... there are individuals in both political parties that support same sex marriage and individuals in both political parties that don't.. the Republicans and Democrats that use religion as a basis to state same sex marriage should not be allowed forget one thing. A marriage license has absolutely NOTHING to do with religion...it is a licensed issued by states and always has been and always will be.....churches and religions have zero to do with the issuance of the license and zero to do with validating a license. so, its a bogus argument that government should ban same sex marriage based upon religion since we have separation of church and state. but, then again, that's a topic for the SoapBox I don't know a thing about Goth..so I can't comment..my comment about "straight acting" is general in nature and not meant to attack you....just one of my pet peeves.....lots of Gay adults state it and when said to me, I tell them why would I want to act straight? how does one act straight or gay? pleaseeee! its just a silly comment/term to use...how about just be yourself (not meaning that you should..you are yourself..lol) but oh well, I digress and my nephew is smart..he just hates to read (my niece is like me and loves to read) and he drives me crazy since he like history but won't read about it.....and I wish he would..but he is his own person..so that's cool by me..and he knows I think he is cool...even if he is Bush Republican (my whole family is...me, no way...I am an Independent..a fiscal conservative and a social progressive and proud of it!) and that means that you wouldn't vote for Bush either since you said you wouldn't vote for either party (and I mean if you could vote..since I know you have to wait until you are 18) so, whom would you vote for? oops..thats a soap box issues..sorry..lol well, cool Nick...gym time for me..and later friend:) Michael

Nicholas...um, you know I think you are cool..even if we disagree (but we do have things in common..like my Mom died when I was an infant too..but that's another story) My nephew is 15 and is a Bush supporter like you.....must be the name..hee hee. In any event, I just have one thing I have to say..and I don't say this to bash you..it is just one of my pet peeves..I abhor the term "straight acting"..first of all, I am Gay and why would I want to act straight? grrr....and second of it...it makes me feel less then by saying that Gays should "act" straight to be worthy as a person. We are Gay and that's cool....I just want to state that..and hey you are cool. I am sure you didn't mean it that way...and lots of Gay people say it..its just my pet peeve... and aren't Gays who are Goth allowed to be Goth and do straights who are Goth in style not straight? ok, enough of my pet peeve....and I do enjoy our give and take and repartee of Soap Box posting.....like I said its like talking to my nephew...he just does the eye roll thing with me..but he thinks I am cool and sane anyway.....and I think you are too....and I hope you think we are cool with each other... Ok, when Snow Dog reads this, he will do the eye roll thing..he teases me about the use of my favorite word "cool" since I tend to use it a lot(no its not the word "progressive" or "liberal"...) Peace and be cool! hee hee:) ok, now you can do the eye roll thing......I know my nephew would... Michael

Green..that's cool...I hope the boys learn something from it..somehow I doubt it..but at least their Dad did the right thing:) thanks for the update:) Michael

1. Who are you? Michael in NJ (as opposed to Michael in NY with the screen ame, LIbbonobo) 2. Are we friends? I like to think we are:) 3. When and how did we meet? We met online..and we met through Dom's stories 4. Do you have a crush on me? No 5. Would you kiss me? Just the way our Grace should be kissed by one of her adoring Gay fans and with Hugs too..(for the record so your hubby wubby knows..that means I give you a kiss on the cheek...or both cheeks..very European and warm hugs) 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Grace, cause you remind me of my best friend who is also my own personal Grace...(as in Grace from "Will and Grace" 7. Describe me in one word. Just like your name....Vivacious (which includes very Loving) 8. What was your first impression? That you are such a doll!!! 9. Do you still think that way about me now? Most definitely 10. What reminds you of me? That you are always positive, funny and sweet cool person and such a doll!!! 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? More time with your parents...but I know they are very proud of you and are your Angels watching over you and your family 12. How well do you know me? We haven't met but I feel I am coming to know you well (as best as one can online) 13. When's the last time you talked to me? We never spoke in person...nor in chat room, so its been by way of responding to your blogs or posts on line. 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? Nope, never....I know I could tell you anything and you would be loving, honest and supportive..that makes me feel very good about you as a person 15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? I don't have a blog so I put my answers on your blog:)

I agree with Dom...and geez, that Mom is a teacher? Heaven help that classroom.... I would keep the rabbits and tell her you will deliver them to the classroom and not tell the class that her son almost murdered one if she promises not to ever take them home with her again..I would remind her sons that how would they feel if someone hung them by their neck and said "kill the boy..kill the boy!!" and I would tell them if you ever ever catch them do anything like that you will call the Police on them and press charges for cruelty to animals..quite frankly you still could! If she can't keep her word, I wouldn't return the rabbits to her on Tuesday....I would go to the principal and explain what happened.....shame on her! My 11 year old niece has a rabbit..If I told her that she would be protesting outside the woman's house and reporting her to the ASPCA!!! Michael

Hi, well, I tend to look right into people's eyes and smile....I get weird looks..but I still do it. I used to think its an unfriendly tough NJ thing....when I lived in Toledo, I found the opposite. I used the bus system all the time to get around....whenever I was waiting for a bus, everyone always said hello, or good morning or good evening, how are you..how was your day.....coming from NJ where if you said hello, you got weird looks..it was culture shock for me...but I found that people were friendly... now, where I live, I find the same thing...I like my area in central NJ and people tend to be very friendly.... I also find that for some reason, I must have a face or attitude where people tend to tell me anything and everything (maybe the concept of telling one's life story to a stranger so what's the big deal...but I get that a lot....so, I try to listen, be patient and to let people talk..I always learn more then I ever expect and that's a good thing) I do know what you mean about people not making eye contact and being hostile or down right rude or just pretend that as a person, I am invisible....that's when I tend to smile more and see if I can get the person to smile back or I will say hello to them. I enjoy being a people person and observe people and what they do and say.....its quite fascinating.....and by being alert, observing and just watching, I pick up on vibes and try to find that person who may need a smile or a hello.... I also always wonder (ever walk in a Shopping Mall and just listen and watch and then wonder about how people treat those they are with...and wonder the stories of life that go with them.... so, no, you are not weird...actually, I think you doing what you do makes you an Angel of sorts...being a people person and reaching out to others is for lack of a better word makes us better humans and more humane....and I always feel better when I do....so, in a sense, it helps me more then I may help someone by listening to someone who just needs someone to have contact with and such. Michael

Nick, that was me in the SoapBox and I stand by my position and you stand by yours...and I enjoy our chat back and forth via posts..you are always polite. I hope I am too..I still owe you a response..just been busy with work and stuff...so, please don't stop your posts...I actually relish them....you are a good foil for me and I hope I am for you..we are opposites in opinions and that's what makes it fun and interesting... so, relax, keep posting and give me time, so I can post back...you have home work and I have work....so in between posts will be cool and fun and interesting..... I feel you are smart and a good guy..even if I don't agree with you often..but then again you don't agree with me often...and Snow Dog may flame me for saying one of my favorite words..but its all cool:) so, don't give up the soapbox and glad you have your blog soapbox....I will enjoy both our repartee and sharing in both places:) you are cool in my books:) Michael

Dave and Chris, I am so glad you are feeling better...I have a saying about hospitals..they are no place to be sick and certainly no place to get well..Indeed, with stapf infections and stuff...people actually get more ill..so its good that they let you out of the hospital and the best doctor and nurse is your hubby who will make you get well quick, along with bed rest..and finishing all your meds.....or else we are all flying over the pond to nag you to death....now, that is enough to make you take those meds, sleep and rest and snuggle close to Chris i am glad that your brother in law is staying with you too..Jon sounds like such a great brother in law...thank him for us..... and Chris, make sure you are resting too so you don't get run down either...you both need to snuggle in bed together early and often......and save energy for frisky snuggling:) For now, we all will do the happy dance...while you watch....no over exertion:) Hugs and Feel Better soon!! Michael

Kitty and James and to all our Members and friends who are suffering through this Holy Crap Mother Nature Gone Wild, I can't imagine what you are going through...when we had Hurricane Floyd in 1999 here in New Jersey, I thought that was bad...but what all of you are experiencing is incomprehensible to me. Its painful and sad to watch on television...I was so worried that you both got swept out to sea...I am sooooo happy you are both alive...remember, homes and possessions can be replaced....you staying alive is what matters most...My heart goes out to you..your loved ones and friends...this appears to be the worst disaster I can ever remember and affects millions....it really is an American Tsunami....I can't believe that New Orleans is 80 per cent under water and will take months and years to recover..and the same is true for big parts of Mississippi, Louisania and Alabama (even a part of Florida got hit) Just know we are here for you...let us know what we can do....my prayers, good thoughts and good karma go out to all of you....please be careful....stay put and this too shall pass....and we are with you and please, when you are up to it, keep us updated.... Just know we love you all and its going to be ok...it has to be....and I hope all your loved ones are ok.... Big Hugs and Lots of Love sent to each of you and we are with you..however we can help.... Michael

FYI, From a post at another forum, James is okay but without power, as he predicted. Thought you guys would want to know. Kel <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Thanks for the update Kel. I'm glad to hear James is ok. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Kel..thanks for the update...glad to hear that James is well:) It feels like we need another telethon for an American Tsunami....to all of our Southern friends...our hearts and thougts and good karma sent your way and hopes all are safe.... Michael

Dave and Chris, I swear its a world gone awry...Dave, you keep your cute butt in bed or else we get some mean old ornery nurse to get you stay in bed. And I agree with all that has been said...get you to your doctor STAT! When was your last annual physical? all the stress from work, which is new big job, the shit Chris is dealing with his family, finding a house to buy...getting hit in the nose by a wacko customer....you have had a few weeks/months....so get your buns to the doctor.... geez, imagine us all as your house guests....ok, fun but all that stress as we try to nurse/doctor you to good health....you have the best nurse there is..your hubby Chris..now get you to the doctor...just as you bugged Chris to go..now is your time....or else, my people (you know we Italians) know people who will make you an offer you can't refuse....so off to the doctor to avoid the wrath of Italians (worse yet, I will have my sisters nag you until you go to the doctor...that will have you running to China..so better you get to the doctor..!!) Hugs and good thoughts go with you and Chris...give us the doctor's verdict when you go...and let us know you are going (how is that for nagging...but seriously..don't make us worry..please go.... worried in the states for you....and good thoughts you will be ok:) Michael

Deb....tell your son we all wish him the very best as he starts school!! That is such a great picture....you should frame it and so as he grows older he can see how happy, smiling and excited he looks...(especially on those days you can't get up to go to school:) All the very best for a great school year! Michael

I just heard on the news that it is the 8th worse storm since they recorded weather..that's over a 100 plus years..so, to our friends in its path....be careful... my thoughts, prayers, good karma and hopes for your safety go out to all of you......please be careful...and when its all done, let us know you are ok.... Michael

Val, Sighs and hugs and hoping everything will be ok with your brother. Prayers said, good karma sent and good thoughts...maybe the neigbhor can also help your sister and check in on your brother to make sure he is taking his medication. I hope he will be ok..and I am sure he will be. Keep us posted and I am sure your brother will be fine. Michael xxx

Dearest Grace, um, I mean Vivian, You really are our Grace...so we Gay men say thank you:) You have me blushing.....sweet of you to mention me.... um, now Grace..you do need sleep..not good to be falling asleep at your desk....and especially since you are the problem solver...you need to be alert, trying not to trip the boss (be a part of the solution and not the problem...WTF does that mean...you identified the problem..now if you have to fix it..why don't you have his job since he had you do it and didn't solve it like you asked him to? and what incentive now do you have to identify other problems if you are the one to solve the problem...geez, not a smart boss...the Peter principle at work? the level of incompetence rises with the level of the job or something like that) Glad to see no more PMS....I turn into a mess when sick..I can't imagine what you women have to go through monthly.......yikes...ok...go ahead and PMS..it doesn't sound like fun....ouch. in any event, dearest Grace of our Group....get some rest and sleep....time for sleep here.. and don't work too hard...you need your rest to do your boss's job...and come pay day, take his pay for doing his job..and give him his paycheck..one with all zeros on it.... Just a thought:) oh well, Gracey...good night Grace/Viv:) Michael....xxx

Dave and of course, Chris too:) Viv is one very smart person....she said it beautifully....so, I say, if Chris feels that the house you both want is one you want associated with where you contribute together, maybe you can wait..I am sure that there will be more beautiful homes to chose from...and I am sure you both want a home and not the house you bought that was part of his Grandma's Estate dispute (and hence, may seem cursed or part of anger and pain and hurt with his family). I tend to be old fashioned that way and want a home that is blessed with good karma, love and the joy that you both will feel and enjoy as you create a home together....as opposed to the house gotten where Chris felt he didn't put in his share and wasn't being the good husband he wants to be and had to wait because of his Mum not honoring her Mum and your GrandMum. I am sure you want to be able to buy a home that is done during the time that you BOTH know it just feels so right....that you see yourselves growing old together, filling the HOME you BOTH LOVVEE with memories and so on....and not purchased in an estate fight.... The house is beautiful..I bet there are plenty like it....when the timing is right, you both will know it. I know this may sound cliche, but the old saying "every knock is a boost" is true.....also, the coming weeks can't be fun given what Chris's Mum has done..that can't be pretty and will be traumatic..add that to the stress of a house purhase and oy.....what a mess....so maybe the timing isn't right but it will be.... you have each other and it will happen....as the other old saying "good things come to those who wait"....so when it happens, well, your Happy Home will be wonderfully blessed and years from now you will laugh at how you found it and how well the wait made it more special. no matter what...you have each other and its not worth stressing......things and material things come and go...two soul mates that love each other....and get to share their lives and love for each other..well, that's priceless and magical and is what Love and Joy is all about....fret not, the hurt and mess will pass...but you have each other to get through it...kiss each other and hold each close and thank your lucky stars...you truly are amazingly blessed! Love, Good Health, good jobs and a wonderful life created together....I say Bravo and before you know it a home to call your own....it will happen....this much I do know! Michael

Thanks Michael...I really appreciate your post. It's a little strange in my situation, since I'm bisexual, and a married father. For me, "coming out" reveals only a portion of me. That being said, your comments are just as applicable, since that portion is a side that virtually no one sees. Mark...that's not strange at all!!! I am betting your Mom knows you have an attraction to both sexes...and you and a zillion other guys who are married, have children, finally come out...that is way way typical and normal (couldn't find the right words there) Many men and women, who are married, then figure out their sexuality or got married, still knowing they are Gay or bisexual, but felt societal and family pressures or that they couldn't come Out...it happens...so, in this day and age, if someone announces that they are Gay or bisexual (and given our age range, when we were younger it wasn't very acceptable in many places to make that statement)..today, its not a big deal. To quote Jude and FDR, you only have fear to be afraid of..and give people credit..the ones that will be supportive, will amaze you...the ones that won't..well, their loss. and your Mom is just waiting for her son to speak first..she is respecting your boundaries and like my Dad, figured it is up to you/us to tell them....and if we don't....they are ok..but when we do, we fully share and say we trust that they will love us back....it worked for me..but we all are different with different lives/concerns/fears/issues, desires, etc....so I can only speak for me. Good Luck with whatever you decide.. Michael

Mark....don't judge your experience by mine...ultimately this is about your sexual orientation and not any one elses. As a wise friend told me "Your sisters go home and lead their lives after telling you how to live your life. They are happy in their lives, why shouldn't you be happy in your life?" Second, your Mom knows and loves you and accepts you for whom you are...her son. My friends how knew my Dad told me he wouldn't give a plug nickel if I was Gay. My friends were right. When I told my Dad, he was incredibly loving and supportive and still is. He told me he loves me, that he wants me to be happy and he has always known I am Gay and figured it was up to me to tell him. He reminded me he didn't want to know about my sex life..but then quickly and wisely said, but don't worry it has nothing to do about you being Gay. I don't want to know about your sisters sex lives either. Now where do you want to go to dinner? Walls of anxiety fell from there and we have become very close. I started to learn about my Dad the person..and what a tough life he had (death of his Mom when he was a small boy, being thrown from pillar to post after that by a step mother, fought over by relatives, how my Maternal Grandmother wouldn't come to my Dad's and Mom's wedding, how hard my Mom's death was on him...etc..) I am sure your Mom is one super smart and loving lady....she wants to be supportive and is supportive. Now its up to you to let her in....I personally felt much better telling my family and grew from there. I learned its my sisters "issues" and not mine (I figured the one sister who lives in NYC..lived in the Village area for years, has a Gay attorney, realtor, Gay friends would be cool...oops...she ain't so cool with it..despite what she says (my favorite line is when she told her husband in my presence that if he told her he is Gay she would blankety blank kill him....made me feel warm and fuzzy all over..when I called her on it she didn't get it...as I said geez, if that is how you feel, and I am Gay and your husband isn't, what does that say how you feel about me...she didn't quite see the obvious statement she was trying to make..but then again, I learned its her stuff not mine so who cares what anyone thinks...I am Gay...just as I am tall, have brown eyes..that won't change so time to get on with it and I did) but alas, that's her stuff not mine. remember the words of Jude (they fit so well...."there is nothing wrong with you"...took me forever to say it and mean it and feel it) Thirdly, no one gives a damn if you are bisexual or its some oddity..not in this day and age..that's your stuff and issues to feel everyone does....you are whom you are as Snow Dog and La Cage Aux Falles says....life goes on....either be yourself or learn that when you are dead you are dead...and oh the living that you lost out on....I learned that the tough way too. If you are ready, go sit with your Mom and talk to her.... also, find a counselor who specializes in GLBT coming out issues...it helps a lot.. there is no finer freedom then the "truth shall set me fee" and to be "free at last..free at last" by being Out...it makes a world of difference. My sisters, whom I love very much, are very Italian....speak to Italians..they will tell you how Italian families can be.....they have their issues..I have mine..but I refuse to live by their standards (one can't say the word "Gay" without choking on it..sad part she can't see that..but says she loves me and she does...but she just doesn't feel comfortable with me being Gay..again her stuff not mine....remember you are whom you are...and there is nothing wrong with you....say it, feel it, live it and the rest works out fine....you don't tell others how to be or live their lives and they hav no right to tell us how to do the same thing...and hey if they do...smile, and ignore...and know what your comfort zones are....as my Dad says, no need to share what you do in your bedroom with the world...its no one's business but yours..and you will find out if you come out that no one cares....not one bit..everyone just goes on with their lives...) I have never been happier nor more healthier since coming out....and hey, even my sisters have met a former bf of mine (one I lived with) and dealt with it..I told them, I have had to deal with your crappy bfs and a spouse or two I despised..so either be nice in front of my significant other or lose me....easy enough rule to remember..and I don't give a damn what you think of him...its my life not yours..got it? that works..trust me....(one even freaked out that I had his picture on the mantel during a family get together (he was away)..what would the aunts think...like I care.. so Mark, yours to get on with or not...only you decide.. the world shall go on either way....I learned that the hard way..wasted too much time..in the end it is up to me to be happy and I am responsible for my own happiness..no one else...so I had to give it up concerning worrying about what my family thought and their control issues....as an adult it has worked better (I get teens going through what they do with families like mine..I know I would be out on my butt as a teen..2 sisters were and they aren't Gay) but you and I aren't teens....as Dan says for teens it is often better to wait until college is done and let's face it how much do parents really know what is going on with teens and on up....so its easy to deal and live one's life in that regard..just needs some adjustments (especially if parents financially support one and one lives at home during the college years) ok, I go on too long......all I can say is trust in the love of your Mom...I wish mine were alive to share as you go to share with your Mom. Take it from there..I bet you will get the hugs and support from your Mom that I get from my Dad..its pretty awesome and parents just know...so she is clued in..time to clue her in if you are ready. Either that or suffer...I say, why suffer...it sucks being in that dark dreary closet.....been there done that and I way love the sunshine of being OUT:) Michael

oops..my DSL went down again and when got online deleted all sorts of things...area problems last two days...grrrr....sorry, but its me sending the post....to Matt and Viv.. oy....ugh..computers...and DSL Verizon drives me crazy! Michael

Val...I agree with you as to cold pizza...it tastes like eating shredded cardboard..but heated up left over pizza is yummy.....ah, keys...I have learned that if I don't hold on to them or keep them in my pocket, I lose them and forget where the heck I last placed them........(old age creeping in...like from when I run all the way upstairs because I forgot something and then when I get to the top of the steps I forget what is was I was running upstairs to get....grrrr!!) Michael

Val, I thought the rule is you eat cold pizza at 5 am with the extra booze and beer floating in one's body...well, cold pizza anyway...at 5am (I like mine warm, back in the days when I could eat carbs...grrr...pizza is soooo goooood...but alas breads and pasta and all the good stuff makes me bloat) oh well, tylenol, vitamin C and water..oops, I think that is what you take before you go to bed.. oh, don't go by me..sounds like you had a blast...glad to hear it:) Michael

Sweet Mag...it has done you well....as shown in your vibrant photos....and I sense a special zest and kick in your GoBears hubby....he has kick butt posts.....you are just very young and vibrant at heart....hence, the name "Sweet Mag" Michael

Viv..you are a sweetie..thanks..as I sit here and blush at your compliments...and I hope Val will be fun..she is super fly cool....(I take myself back to the 1970s as I say that one) but she has a mad as hell I am not going to take it any more crazy sense of humor...so I say "you go girl"......it beats curled up in the fetal position.....I still say she drop kicks his butt (well, she can whoop ass him with her comments...or tell him to post this and give him the 1 finger salute) and yeah, I say he has definite tissues....hording toilet paper secretively locked in his bedroom.....geez, is he making love to it or what? that boy needs to get a clue, buy a vowel and leave our Val alone:) Michael

Val....I keep thinking about the post it (to match the roomie going postal)..it reminds me of the break up scene from Sex and the City. Carrie's BF breaks up with her with a post it "I can't do this any more" sorry..I think that was the note. I say sit his passive aggressive butt down, along with his brother, and tell them either work their stuff out and leave you out of it or go work out their anger at the gym.... Who needs drama after a tough day...geez....and worrying about sheets of toilet paper....I say that boy has tissues...I mean issues...I know bad jokes....all I can say is good luck...either that or tell him to buy softer toilet paper so he isn't such a pain in the you know what....I know more bad puns..sorry. At least you can write about it. Michael