lagomorph

Hey Xan. Still alive. I think I'll have to remember that photoshopping the smile thing. In pictures I always sort of look like I want to kill someone. Anyway, that sounds really sweet. Val

Thanks Michael, and of course I always read your replies, they're hilarious!

So I've been doing too much sitting around thinking and not enough working today, and we all know that's not good on several levels. I think I've sort of figured out the biggest part of this general "the world sucks" attitude I've had going for a while, although that doesn't necessarily mean I know what to do about it. The biggest thing, I guess, is being alone, although it's not about the particular person at all, more that I really only had one person who completely understood me, and now I don't anymore. I've never really been one of those people who collects friends. I don't try to be standoffish or anything, it's just that 1, I've always been shy, and 2 is this weird endless circle that I'll try to explain. I know that a lot of the people I meet have nothing in common with me, or only ever want to party, or only ever want to talk about school, or (if they're guys) only want to hang around girls who fall all over themselves being cute, or (if they're girls) only want to hang around hot guys, or they already have enough friends of their own, or whatever. And I know someone is going to say "so what, you could still try." Well, see point #1. Also, I will occasionally do the partying thing if someone asks, but then there's the likelihood that the people won't remember you the next day. I'm only partly joking there. And finally, I DO make some effort to talk to people, but if someone doesn't really respond or doesn't make an effort to talk to me again, i have a bit of a paranoid tendency to assume they don't like me and then I'm afraid to try again. (I am quite aware that this makes me sound like a bit of a loser, but shut up, it's my blog. ) I'm sort of rambling here, but I'm trying to get to the point that what I really need is someone who actually knows me and wants to hear what I have to say and won't get totally bored and wish they could leave if I had a problem I wanted to talk about. It seems obvious to me that all of the people I was complaining about a minute ago aren't going to turn into that kind of friend no matter how much of an effort I make. So I hope we're all seeing what I mean about an endless circle.

Well, it's only Wednesday and I feel like I've been here for about a month. This is not due to me becoming used to the place quickly, but to the unbelievable, massive, ridiculous amounts of work I've had to do. I don't think I did as much homework in 4 years of college as I've done this week. Just hours and hours a day, every day, and even then I feel unprepared most of the time. I think I've studied for something like 6 or 7 hours today. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking about quitting or anything, I just really need to complain. Also, this whole learning through humiliation thing is rather new, and I can't say I really feel that it's conducive to me living up to my potential, because it sort of makes me panic, but I'm trying to get used to it. It is somewhat, but not terribly, comforting to know that I'm not the only one on the verge of freaking out. There's a lot of mutinous talk and "okay, that does it, I'm leaving and just getting a PhD in psychology, that HAS to be easier than this." OK, yes, I'm mostly writing this to avoid work for a while, so I'll get back to it now. Val

So. It's been a while, but it wasn't voluntary, trust me! I haven't had internet, exactly, since I've been here (Sunday). I've been waiting all week for someone to come set me up. Then I found this cable jack under my bed and yay! Except I've got the monitor on a chair, the mouse on my laundry hamper, and the keyboard on my lap, because the cable thing was on the other side of the room from the desk. So between the monitor being at a weird angle and the fact that I'm mildy tipsy, sorry if my spelling sucks here. So, where to start. It's pretty cool here, there's a lot of water around and it's pretty, and I've met some nice people, and my roommate doesn't suck, and I'm actually excited about classes. And really, really nervous, but I think that would've gone without saying. I met a cute guy earlier today (not really expecting anything to come of it, but still, it brightens the day) and this evening I went out drinking with 5 guys and my roommate, and that was a lot of fun. We found a restaurant/bar within walking distance. So all in all, I'm pretty happy. The trip up here sucked because my mom is a horrible driver, and I just want to say (with apologies to anyone from there) that I frigging hate Connecticut. And people here talk really funny, but I like it. I've done all kinds of stuff this week that I'm sure everyone would be really bored hearing about, but it's been unbelievably busy, and this was juts orientation. Classes actually start on Monday, and most people are already in a complete panic about getting the firts assignments done and stuff, and showing up like 40 mins early for class. I have serious objections to that, considering a 9 am class I have Monday. So yeah, I'm back, and I'll hopefully be around more now. The being busy will balance out with the not having dialup, I think. And I just want to say to a couple people who know who they are that you totally suck for never calling me, even during my week of complete desperation when I had no internet.

Okay, so first of all, thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday. And thanks again for the card, Joe. You have terrible handwriting. I went out with my friend today and had an insane time. We went to Charleston, which for those of you who never learned your geography is the state capital. It's the biggest city in the state,which isn't saying much as it has a population of like 50,000, and it's pretty much where you have to go if you wanna make a day of it. So anyway, we went to the movies and saw Monster House, which was a bit of a disappointment, really. I expected more from Robert Zemeckis. But we had a couple hours to kill before the movie, so we decided to play in some stores, and we went in Toys R Us. We're wandering up and down every aisle, and we come to the barbies, so we stop to look and say things like "In my day, we didn't have all this stuff" and then we see it. The pregnant Midge doll. It has a big pregnant belly, which as it turns out is magnetic and removable. Not only that, the baby that comes with it folds in half and fits inside the belly! There are gonna be some seriously confused little girls. So my friend decides she has to buy the thing, cause it's just too funny and it's only $10. We head for the registers and there's only one open, and the cashier is this like 16 year old guy, and she gets sort of embarassed and starts going "maybe we should find something else to buy too so it's not so weird" and I get the giggles really bad and have to hide behind a display case for a minute. (Yes, that's right, we're both 23, folks, what can I say. There's not much entertainment around here.) We finally go to check out and she puts the thing face down on the counter, hoping he won't notice what it is, and when he rings it up the little screen says "PREG MIDGE" and of course I get the giggles again and I'm hiding my face and trying not to have a stroke. Then we make it to the car and rip the thing open immediately and feel like total perverts cause the first thing we did was pull up its dress to look at the magnetic belly, and it turns out it also has painted-on underwear. So, yeah, there's my big day on the town.

Okay, I'm gonna talk about something serious for once. My mom has a relative who is only expected to live a few more days. I don't really know her, and I'm not even sure how we're related, but the whole situation is really bothering me for a reason that I think makes for a good discussion. The relative has pretty much given up at this point, and is refusing to eat or take medication, because she's ready to get to the "other side" and see her husband. Now, I don't believe in an other side, and I also haven't lived for 70-some years or whatever, so I'm altogether unable to accept this. At any rate, this isn't the actual point of my little rant here, but it did start me thinking. I heard a lot of the "he's in a better place now" stuff when my grandfather died a few years ago, and to tell you the truth it really pissed me off. These people sure weren't comforting me, and I don't think they were really all that concerned about the emotional state of my grandfather's spirit-they were trying to make themselves feel better. Is living with pain or loss of mental and phsyical abilities worse for the afflicted, or those who have to watch it? Which party is death more merciful for? My grandfather had some very bad days toward the end, but I think he had some good ones too. There were days when he knew who we were, and days when he was completely confused and thought he was fishing on a riverbank somewhere, which happened to be his favorite thing in the world, so is that really so bad? It was painful to watch, but in his mind, was he happy? Who are we to judge the quality of a single minute of someone else's life? When I was younger, and I would start wishing sometime in October that it would hurry up and be Christmas, my grandfather would tell me not to wish away days of my life. Maybe it's just naivete, but I have trouble believing that same man would believe it was all for the best if we just let him go quietly. Of course, I'm not rude enough to say any of this to the droves of people telling me it's all for the best, but now you all know what I'm really thinking.

It's a girl!! Hehehe. And I'm impressed that she already returned my email, and was totally cool about me asking if she was a guy. So, yay.

Okay, so I just got an email from the housing people, FINALLY, and...I think my roommate is a guy! I haven't actually spoken to the person yet, I'm actually writing an email right now, but it's definitely a guy's name. I mean, sure, we'll have different bedrooms, but I was NOT expecting that. I debated about whether it was totally weird to just ask "Are you a guy?" but I finally decided to. I mean, it'd be nice to know. And I can't move in until the 13th! How stupid is that? That's a Sunday and orientation starts Tuesday. And I am sort of paying for the whole month. Grrr. So there go all my moving plans. I just hope the possibly-male gets back to me soon, because it's annoying not knowing what to pack.

Holy crap, it's been so long since I've really paid attention here at GA that there's all these new people I don't know...*cowers in the corner.* I've just been too busy travelling and trying to get ready to move AGAIN. And if you'll all allow me a moment to complain, OMG is it a lot of trouble going to that school! I've had to get two vaccinations, still need a third that I can't get for a few months, have to send copies of all these medical records, and then there's the chicken pox saga. I have to have proof that I either had chicken pox or got the vaccine. Well, I had it in 1988. I know this because my mom keeps insane records like that. But she didn't take me to the doctor so I have no OFFICIAL record. I found this out after a very annoying trip to my old doctor's office where the dug my file out from the basement. Then I went to the county health department and found out there's a test they can do to determine if I still have some immunity, but the don't do it there. Back to the doctor. Can't just get a blood test without seeing a doctor first. Can't see the doctor without insurance without talking to billing first. There go two hours of my life. Doctor complains about my blood pressure and pretty much everything but what I'm there for. Finally I make it to the lab and get my blood drawn, at which point I'm thinking "why, oh why, didn't I just get the damn vaccine anyway?" So, I'm awaiting the results of that whole thing, and I still might have to get the shot anyway. I've also been going through all my stuff, trying to decide what to take and what not to take, which is complicated by the fact that I still don't know who my roommate is. Or my address, or, well, anything. So we can't exactly get together and make sure we don't end up with two of everything. But I had a liberating moment today. My box o'memories, which I think I mentioned in a previous post...I threw it in the trash. I had a pretty cool trip to visit some relatives, even though we had to travel south and it's already hot enough here. They sort of ran us to death, going out to eat like 10 times, including this dinner cruise, and going to all these weird little gift and antique shops. I also watched 13 DVDs while I was there, because my aunt really likes to sit around and listen to the easy listening station, and if that's not on then Fox News is. And let me just say that I'm really glad I didn't pay to watch King Kong, because jesus was that a long movie. Could we cut out about an hour? Maybe the giant bugs? Or the bats? We decided to leave for RI on the 7th, which seems absurdly soon. I should have a (fast!) internet connection as soon as I get there, which'll be a welcome change.

*ahem* This entry is for Joe, my bestest friend ever, even if he is an asshead, since I'm going to be gone for his birthday, the exact date of which I'm not allowed to say. So, happy early birthday, Joe!

This might be the longest I've ever gone without an entry. I've been having computer problems like crazy, and also not a whole lot of time to spend online. Plus there's the whole dialup/tying up the phone line thing. I had my mom talked into DSL and then it turned out it's not available here. But today we both got new computers (whoo hoo!) and everything is actually working, and going a lot faster even with the dialup. Of course there's not a whole lot going on here to talk about. We're going to the beach soon, and I fully intend to hide in the shade most of the time, but it's better than staying here. I spent a week alone while my parents went to a NASCAR race, and even with a couple hundred cable channels it got boring after a while. I can't even tell you how annoying it is to not be allowed to touch the remote. And the air conditioner, oh my god! You can't go back after having control of the thermostat. I haven't spoken to you-know-who in forever. We've talked once since I got here, and that's been a couple weeks. Honestly, it's not been a big deal. I guess it really did suck that much before. Val

Thanks for the offers to post evil comments, but his journal is at this site you have to pay some ridiculous amount of money to subscribe to before you can so much as look at anything. And it occured to me that maybe I was being a little hypocritical, seeing as how I'm bashing him here myself, but, eh, shut up. It's my turn. Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant.

I'm feeling a bit murderous at the moment. I know this was probably a really bad idea, but I knew that a certain evil bastard had this blog, so I went there to read it. And imagine my shock when he's talking about me like I was the biggest bitch ever. I think he said something like "this space is probably going to get more interesting without the old hammer and sickle around" and "god it feels good to be single." I mean...ouch. He's talking about how he's building a collection of liquor to have sort of a home bar, and how he couldn't do that with me around (because I sort of thought there were more important things to spend money on, maybe?) This is something that I was noticing even before I left, that he seems to be trying to act like he's 16 again or something. He had three damn years of college before I was even in the same state as him. If anyone missed out on being young and stupid it was me. His whole reason for not wanting to be together anymore pretty much came down to the fact that he wanted to be able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Christ, I don't know. I thought I wanted to try and stay friends, but if he's going to talk about me behind my back (on a public forum, no less) like I'm the bride of Satan or something, then screw him. Okay, just had to vent before I started breaking things. On a lighter note, I went out with this old friend from high school yesterday, just to dinner and we hung around a bit. Actually I've known her since I was probably 8 or 9, but we haven't really kept in touch over the past few years, so it was really nice. Also, I mailed out two more deposit to RI, so I guess I'm committed now.

I've been having a bit of internet withdrawal here. I hate dialup! I tried to convince my mom she needed to get cable internet, but she's too cheap. Anyway, I haven't done anything more interesting than watch TV since I've been here, unless you count the minor crisis we had Saturday night. I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning and heard a strange noise coming from downstairs, so I went to investigate and discovered that the kitchen was flooded. A pipe broke or something under the sink, and my dad had to crawl under the house to shut the water off, while we used every towel we own plus about 5 bedsheets to soak up all the water. He fixed the pipe the next morning-we thought-but this afternoon it started leaking again, and he fixed it AGAIN, and hopefully it's finished now. The thing about my dad is that he's sort of like Tim Allen's character on that show Home Improvement. He's always convinced he can fix everything himself, but by the time he's finished he's fallen off a ladder/sliced his hand open/completely destroyed whatever he was trying to fix. The last time my mother discovered a problem with the plumbing, instead of telling him she called my aunt and "invited" her and my uncle (who can actually fix things) to visit for the weekend, and then magically discovered the problem while they were visiting. I seriously hate the people next door. Actually there's just this one kid, who's maybe 18 or so, who lives there by himself, but there's people visiting him pretty much 24/7, and they're always being loud and blocking our driveway and generally looking shady. My parents are convinced the kid is selling drugs. I think he's just a pain in the ass. Mark and I are trying to do the whole being friends thing. We've emailed each other a couple times, and it's really not been so bad. If anything the hard part is going to be that I really suck at keeping up with correspondence like that. And finally, I heard from that school in PA that I've been waiting on forever, and the #$#%@! admissions guy tells me that the day division is full, and he can put me on a waiting list or I can go in the evening and finish in 4 years instead of 3. So screw that, I'm moving to RI. Oh, and I've got a picture of one of my mom's cats that I thought was just too funny not to share. No, he's not dead, he's just asleep.

In an effort to preserve my sanity, I'm taking a break from packing. I can't believe how much crap I own. You can't walk through the living room or the bedroom, because there's boxes and suitcases and trash bags everywhere. At least I know if I forget anything I'll be able to get it back. Some of my stuff is at Mark's parents' house, being stored, so we can't not ever speak to each other again. He has been nice enough to help me some with the packing, although honestly most of the time he's more of a hindrance than a help. I'm trying to quickly sort through boxes of random crap and see what belongs to who, and he stops to examine things, or suddenly decides that right now is a good time to try to organize what's left in the closet. Needless to say there have been plenty of squabbles. But he's off to work now, so I've got to finish up alone before my parents show up here at the crack of dawn. He's being a total coward and staying somewhere else tonight so he doesn't have to talk to my parents. If I wanted to be a complete asshole, it'd be a good time to steal some of the movies and stuff I want...damn conscience. On the whole, this has been a little easier than I expected, which makes me feel like it really is the right choice. I'm worrying more about stuff like money and being alone than anything that specifically has to do with him. Although I did find this little box I've been keeping forever. It's got stupid stuff in it, like a sugar packet from our first date and movie tickets and pictures and so on. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It's not that I think we'll ever get back together or anything, it's just something I can't explain. Maybe it's "too soon" or some BS like that. Anyway, I've been finding all kinds of weird stuff that's been missing forever. My copy of the 6th Harry Potter book, which has been missing since like last August, turned up in the bedroom closet, in a box that was inside one of those big lawn trash bags. (No, I didn't think it was weird that there was a big trash bag in the closet. We have no storage space so that's what happens to all the old clothes that I keep telling myself I can fit into again some day.) Also in this box was a remote to this little tv that my mom has, and some Halloween decorations. So I'm not the most organized person in the world. I think it's my little way of rebelling. My mom has these extensive files on everything in the world. I could ask her how much she spent on groceries in 1979 and she could tell me within 5 minutes. And finally, before I get back to work, I've decided on a school. (Unless that one that I STILL haven't heard from offers me like a full scholarship or something, har har.) It's in Rhode Island, and the town looks almost disgustingly quaint, complete with a lighthouse and everything. I admit I'm holding out a little bit of hope that it turns out to be like Stars Hollow. Everything I know about New England pretty much comes from Gilmore Girls and Stephen King. Anyway, it's not the most prestigious place in the world, but it's good enough for me.

I now officially have an unhealthy Star Trek habit. I was having this really nice dream last night, where I was out on a date with some tall, dark, handsome guy, and everything was going great until suddenly...he's assimilated by the Borg! Of course the night before that I dreamed that I was slaying vampires with a machine gun, so who knows. I don't suppose I have any underlying violent feelings or anything. Yes, I know this entry was completely pointless.

I do not appreciate being woken up. Ever. Under any circumstances. I mean, even if it was 2 pm, I haven't slept worth a crap in days and I didn't go to bed till after the sun had come up. But, there I am, actually asleep, and I slowly become aware that someone is pounding on my door and won't go away. Grr. So I get up, look around in a panic for some clothes, and make it to the door just as it's being unlocked. It's the landlord, and I can't understand a word he says at the best of times, because he's very foreign, but he's all agitated and I'm half asleep and it takes a minute for it to sink in that he's sort of yelling at me. Apparently water was leaking into the kitchen of the apartment below, and the landlord was all "What did you do?!" And ok, I know he owns the place, but it pissed me off a bit when he just shoves past me and looks under the sink, and then goes in the bathroom and looks around. Anyway, I don't have any leaks anywhere, and he says some stuff I don't understand and goes away. Then I start thinking maybe I should try to clean the kitchen some in case someone comes back. (My...er...ex-boyfriend...doesn't quite understand the concept of cleaning up spills before they harden into something you have to chip off with an ice pick.) So now I'm all wide awake rushing around cleaning, and then there's another knock on the door. It's this guy I recognize, I've seen him in the hall before but didn't know he lived right below me, and he's also very foreign, but much nicer, and he asks me to please not use my sink today. Probably sometime tomorrow, he says, because the plumber is supposed to come. Yeah, right. I waited for that plumber for 4 days once. Now you'll all be glad to know that as much as I wanted to rip his head off, I was very nice, and I'm ranting about it here instead of yelling at the poor guy with the leaky kitchen. So. On the whole breakup front, it's been really strange and uncomfortable, and I sort of feel like I'm having a bad dream. We've started trying to be nice to each other, talking and laughing, and we watched some tv together and all, and everything felt like normal until I found myself trying to remember which DVDs belonged to me. And books and CDs and dishes...it's no easy task. Honestly he's getting the short end of the stick, because I have this extended family thing going on and most of the stuff we own has been passed along by my mother or sister or aunt or something. The tv and DVD player are mine, all of the kitchen appliances except the microwave are mine, all but like 4 plates are mine, the dining table is mine, the chair is mine, one of the bookcases..well, you get the idea. The computer is his, but the printer is mine, and my mother is being eerily nice and is going to get me a cheap computer. Almost all of the books, though, I guess are technically his, and that's causing me great pains. I can at least make copies of all his CDs. I've put another law school into consideration now. I'd written it off because it's in NYC and there's no way in hell we were affording an apartment there, but they have a graduate residence hall and I'm waiting to hear back if there's any space there, and I just sent them all my financial aid crap. So yes, I still don't know exactly where I'm going, but I am going somewhere. Next Saturday, the 13th, I'm going home with my parents, I guess until August when I move wherever. My mom is being this weird combination of sympathetic and evil. She just can't be completely nice for more than a few seconds, it's not in her nature. It's like "I know this is hard, but you'll be okay, you're strong. You've been acting kind of lazy the past couple years anyway and we did NOT raise you like that..." and then the nice part is over. Well, I'd really like to take a shower now, but I'm not quite sure if I'm allowed to. Maybe I'll go watch General Hospital.

Wow Joe, I didn't know you had it in you to be that nice to me Called my mom at like 8:30 (and was she ever shocked, she knows I don't get up till the other side of noon) and she said they'll come up here and get me on the 20th, cause my dad has work lined up till then. He's retired but he works as a substitute teacher a lot. So...that really sucks. I've only been awake for like 2 hours (didn't fall asleep till after 10 am) and I'm already going insane. So far the only words we've exchanged have been "I'm taking a shower now." "Ok." Anyway, you guys are right, of course. It's just a shock.

I guess it might be a little weird to talk about personal stuff "in public" like this, but it's not like I have anyone to talk to, especially at 5 in the morning, and I sort of need to get my thoughts in order. So, my apologies to anyone wondering why they should give a crap. But here it goes: my boyfriend just dumped me. I feel like I'm in high school or something, saying that, and the whole thing is just so surreal. We've had one of those relationships where I guess I knew this was coming eventually for a long time. We fight like crazy and I bitch all the time about how I can't stand him, and I'm sure a few people are gonna say "oh thank god, finally" about this, but it's just all I've known for so long. Almost 8 years, and he can just look at me and say "I don't want to be with you anymore." I argued, I pleaded, I cried, but it's for real this time. I'm waiting for the sun to at least come up before I call my parents and ask if I can be totally pathetic and live with them for the summer. It's really embarassing knowing I'm going to have to tell them about this. That whole break thing that we did before didn't work at all, and we both knew it, but after I came back we knew that the next time was gonna be for good, and we put it off as long as possible. The funny thing is, the fight we had tonight that led up to this was pretty tame by our usual standards. I think that's the worst part, really. It's not stuff said in the heat of the moment, meant to be hurtful, it's just the truth, and it sucks. Well, a lot of it was hurtful, and it was stuff I disagree with, but I can't change his mind. He thinks he's stuck in a rut and that he can't get out of it with me around. I think that he gave up a long time ago and hasn't been trying. I'm not even sure how to feel right now. Just shocked. Even trying to think about practical things gives me a headache. How do you divide up stuff that belongs to both of you that you both need? I mailed a seat deposit to my second choice law school today, and I guess it's a damn good thing I did. I debated about doing it, since what I really wanted was to stay here, and that money was nonrefundable. But since I haven't heard squat from the school here, I decided to go ahead and send the deposit. Moving to another state sounds pretty peachy right now. And, you know, scary as hell. I'm probably overreacting and being a bit whiny, but hey, it's not every day you get kicked out of your home. Oh well, to be fair, he did very generously (yeah right) tell me that I could stay here and sleep on the couch for a while, as if I really wanted to hang around and pretend like we were just roommates. I'd rather be with my parents. I suppose at the very least I'm stuck here till the weekend, since they're gonna have to come get me. But I'm rambling now, so I'm gonna stop and go make some attempt at a couple hours sleep.

I'm writing this not so much because I have anything to say, but because if I don't take a break I'm gonna end up curled up in the corner screaming. I'm trying to write this stupid 10 page historical narrative (if you don't know what that is, I still haven't quite figured it out myself) and I have a sneaking suspicion I'm gonna get to page 3 or so and just run out of stuff to say. Anyway, I told my mom about getting accepted to that school, and she just got mad because it was even farther away than I am now, and accused me of actively trying not to get accepted to my first choice. The first choice school sent a postcard saying "we got your application, make sure your file is complete" to my parents, instead of to me (stupid permanent address crap) and somehow my mom read that as "Your application is not finished! Finish it or else!" and hasn't quit bugging me since. That's a very "her" way of reacting. My dad, not being a complete idiot, understood the whole thing and just sort of ignored her, and told me he was proud of me. I'm pretty sure my mom has never said that in her life. I think she just doesn't understand why I'm not already married with three kids and living across the street from her. Ever since like five years ago when I first mentioned the idea of going to college in another state, she's had it in her head that I think I'm better than her. Hmm, I seem to be bad for turning rambling into ranting. I heard the other day that my old dreaded roommate made an ass out of himself at work. (He's a waiter.) He's a complete cokehead, and on Easter he came to work in a complete frenzy, wearing bunny ears and hopping, yes, that's right, hopping, around the dining room. Finally the bartender pulled him aside and reminded him that he was a 35 year old man wearing rabbit ears and hopping, and he stopped. Oh, how I wish I could've been there. This guy, Derek Walcott, is coming to my school next week to give a free lecture. I can't decide if it sounds interesting or not, but I figure it's not every day you get to meet a Nobel Prize winner. I can't find any of his stuff online (and I think I owe like my first born child to the library at this point) so if anyone happens to like him or hate him, do tell me. I've gotten really, really addicted to Star Trek: TNG. One of the 15 channels that I get shows two episodes a day, and I'm quickly turning into a huge geek. Although, I really can't stand the original series, so I doubt the geeks would have me. Mark tells me I'm starting to sound like Brodie from Mallrats. If you haven't seen it, well, first don't, and second, Brodie spends all his time contemplating things like whether Superman could have sex with Lois Lane. ("It's impossible, Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child? He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.") Okay, I can't think of anything else to ramble about, so back to work.

New England. Cold enough for me.

I got accepted to a law school! *dances around like a fool* The problem is, it's not my first choice (cause I'd have to move to another state), and they want a $200 deposit by May 1. I haven't heard back from my first pick yet, and I wasn't really expecting to by the end of the month, so I guess I'm just gonna have to swallow the $200 just in case. It's really good to know that I at least got in somewhere, though. Val

Happy birthday Ben! Do lots of things I wouldn't do! Val

Liar!