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Val's Blog

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personal crap/life sucks


lagomorph

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I guess it might be a little weird to talk about personal stuff "in public" like this, but it's not like I have anyone to talk to, especially at 5 in the morning, and I sort of need to get my thoughts in order. So, my apologies to anyone wondering why they should give a crap. But here it goes: my boyfriend just dumped me. I feel like I'm in high school or something, saying that, and the whole thing is just so surreal. We've had one of those relationships where I guess I knew this was coming eventually for a long time. We fight like crazy and I bitch all the time about how I can't stand him, and I'm sure a few people are gonna say "oh thank god, finally" about this, but it's just all I've known for so long. Almost 8 years, and he can just look at me and say "I don't want to be with you anymore." I argued, I pleaded, I cried, but it's for real this time. I'm waiting for the sun to at least come up before I call my parents and ask if I can be totally pathetic and live with them for the summer. It's really embarassing knowing I'm going to have to tell them about this. That whole break thing that we did before didn't work at all, and we both knew it, but after I came back we knew that the next time was gonna be for good, and we put it off as long as possible. The funny thing is, the fight we had tonight that led up to this was pretty tame by our usual standards. I think that's the worst part, really. It's not stuff said in the heat of the moment, meant to be hurtful, it's just the truth, and it sucks. Well, a lot of it was hurtful, and it was stuff I disagree with, but I can't change his mind. He thinks he's stuck in a rut and that he can't get out of it with me around. I think that he gave up a long time ago and hasn't been trying. I'm not even sure how to feel right now. Just shocked. Even trying to think about practical things gives me a headache. How do you divide up stuff that belongs to both of you that you both need? I mailed a seat deposit to my second choice law school today, and I guess it's a damn good thing I did. I debated about doing it, since what I really wanted was to stay here, and that money was nonrefundable. But since I haven't heard squat from the school here, I decided to go ahead and send the deposit. Moving to another state sounds pretty peachy right now. And, you know, scary as hell. I'm probably overreacting and being a bit whiny, but hey, it's not every day you get kicked out of your home. Oh well, to be fair, he did very generously (yeah right) tell me that I could stay here and sleep on the couch for a while, as if I really wanted to hang around and pretend like we were just roommates. I'd rather be with my parents. I suppose at the very least I'm stuck here till the weekend, since they're gonna have to come get me. But I'm rambling now, so I'm gonna stop and go make some attempt at a couple hours sleep.

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Val

 

Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Now let it out slowly, open your eyes and start your life. You're strong, intelligent and witty. Make the move to another state and law school with enjoyment. It won't take you long to settle in and make a whole bunch of new friends and find a new guy. We have faith in you.

 

Now that I've said the nice stuff, I'm going to bitch at you. 0:)

 

You haven't been happy with this guy for a long time so he obviously isn't the right guy for you. I think you're more upset that he ended things before you could. You both were looping through that same rut and this is your chance to fly. Go for it girl.

 

Sharon

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:hug::hug::hug: for the lovely valerie. I totally agree with what Sharon said (she's smart, lol) think of this as a new beginning... :hug:
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Wow, Val... when you texted me at 3am I thought it was just because you were pissed he woke you up. I really didn't think he was going to break up with you like that. Though you do deserve a lot better of a guy than he is.

 

So since you're already somewhat committed to Rhode Island, I say you go for it all the way. Like Sharon and Ben said, it's a new start. Get a new life. Your own life. Now instead of living in your boyfriends shadow, you can go out and party and have a HELL of a lot better time without him!!!

 

:hug: good luck with the whole living with the parents thing!

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Wow Joe, I didn't know you had it in you to be that nice to me :P

 

Called my mom at like 8:30 (and was she ever shocked, she knows I don't get up till the other side of noon) and she said they'll come up here and get me on the 20th, cause my dad has work lined up till then. He's retired but he works as a substitute teacher a lot. So...that really sucks. I've only been awake for like 2 hours (didn't fall asleep till after 10 am) and I'm already going insane. So far the only words we've exchanged have been "I'm taking a shower now." "Ok."

 

Anyway, you guys are right, of course. It's just a shock.

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Oh I'm so sorry Val :hug:

 

There isn't really much I can say besides reiterating that this is a chance for a new beginning. I know that's small consolation now though. Take the time you need to grieve and get through this. Don't try to shut the emotions out, but try not to wallow in them either. Take care and I know you can get through this.

 

Kevin

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I totally agree with what Sharon said (she's smart)

 

Age comes with some perks. :lmao:

 

Sharon

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Wow Joe, I didn't know you had it in you to be that nice to me :P

 

Called my mom at like 8:30 (and was she ever shocked, she knows I don't get up till the other side of noon) and she said they'll come up here and get me on the 20th, cause my dad has work lined up till then. He's retired but he works as a substitute teacher a lot. So...that really sucks. I've only been awake for like 2 hours (didn't fall asleep till after 10 am) and I'm already going insane. So far the only words we've exchanged have been "I'm taking a shower now." "Ok."

 

Anyway, you guys are right, of course. It's just a shock.

 

:o I am too nice to you!!! sometimes...

 

And hey, the words could have been worse...

 

"**** you"

"You too, dear"

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IM sorry val .. my sister has almost the same exact problem.. cept tthey have a kid .. im gonna tell you the same thing i told her... If it happend then you can do way better.. theres more fish in the sea and if he was stupid enough to leave you then its his loss not yours.. like everyone said up there .. you have alot ahead of you enjoy it dont let him ruin it for u just look beyond it :D <3 feel better

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