Luc, I'm not sure what to say. I don't think there is anything to say. I remember when you came into chat the first time. You were welcomed there and in the forum just as everyone else is, free to be who you are or who you want to be. Although possibly seeming more real, this place is no less a fantasy than any other. Relationships here are based on assumption of truth and fear of falshood. Sure you followed a bright and wonderful young man here, sure he has been a rock in your life for longer than it seems possible. He still is.
Luc, I have been here a year (almost) and in that time who I am has changed, the people here have changed. You'd think I would be pissed, I can probably attribute my current state of emotional turmiol to a dozzen or so specific names at this site (and it would read like a who's who of GA), but it is a good thing.
There is a place for you here regardless of what you think of yourself. Hell, you should have seen some of the people that have wandered through here. Mark forced a change on you because he needed it. Do you get that? Mark did something for himself that he knew would possibly hurt you. You followed because you couldn't not. That much is obvious. There is a place for you both as someone who has a Mark, and as someone separate from Mark. Just as Mark has a place, as someone with a Luc, and someone without you.
We all get a glimps, read a few blogs, have a few chats. But one thing is clear, whatever you call that thing between you two, it is strong. Something you might want to consider (and I'm reading between the lines here) while everyone was talking to you about Mark, who do you think they were talking to him about?
You say who you were when you first got here (what all of a couple weeks at the most) isn't the real you. I've chatted with you some, and I suppose with Mark more. I assume he knows that real you, that one that is behind all the role play and fantasy; I assume he got there. With the way he feels about you, all I can say is that I hope you stay here, join us for a while and give us the chance to learn about Luc, let us see some of what Mark knows. Trust me, this place can forgive an ass, can forgive a temper tantrum, a hurt feeling, a bad mood. There is often someone to talk to and someone to give you a hug if you need it, or show that you need it. There is more here than a bunch of people talking about stories and the writers who write them. Everyone here has issues and problems (well, except lurker ), and I guarantee you that you aren't the most f**ked up person here (wonders if we should have a poll).
You said something about a point ... oh yeah ... Luc, keep the med check appointment ... and realize that telling everyone here about yourself in a blog entry can be very unnerving and uplifting. I was stunned by the response I get from mine.
Talk to you later
Snowy
Edit: Oh, and I want to cry now, and I look forward to the day that it can be more than just a few tears. (shut up Mr. Arbour )
Edit #2: Maybe someone starting new meds, shouldn't comment in the blog of someone who needs a med check ... at 2 AM