Nephylim

Sorry guys. My daughter anounced out of the blue that she is coming home to lve with me for at least a year so I have been frantically clearing out crap and moving stuff around. I havent' had time for reading. That doesn't mean I've jumped off the band waggon. I'm just sitting on the back dangling my legs for a while.

Nephylim are the children of man (well techinally woman of course) and angels. They are mentioned in the bible as monsters to be obliterated and wiped from the face of the earth. It is said that the reason for the great flood was to achieve this. It's strange though that the way he is described in the bible makes it pretty clear that Noah was Nephylim so how weird was that. It is also clear that Nephylim weren't wiped out because they crop up in myth across the ages. As to WHY I chose it... well that's a really long story. Let's just say I have a particular interest in angels Especially fallen ones :)

That's not me HAHAHA. That's just a random pic I downloaded from the net. I am SO flattered that you think it is me though Maybe I shoud get a new photo taken and post it in the 'Show yourself' thread and give you all a real scare. The one on my profile is me though

I have been inspired to write this by a number of recent threads First of all... How 'real' is your online identity. Well I took that to mean are you a role player, do you pretend to be someone else, hide behind a facade and my first reaction was ... no of course I'm not. I don't hide behind any facade, I am exactly who I say I am. I am completely open and honest, what you see is what you get... etc etc. But am I honest? Am I completely honest? Becuase the only pictures I have posted here on the site of me are good ones... very good ones and by that I mean flattering. So many times in the picture threads I have seen people post a picture and then say things like... don't blame me if you have nightmares, or don't run for the hills... what they are really saying is don't judge me by the way I look, don't hate me because I have a negative image of myself. Of course some people say that to draw out favourable comments because they know they're good looking but that's a different story. The thing is that I have been completely open and honest in all the things I have said... all the opinions I have expressed, the things I have revealed about myself, my likes and dislikes, who and what I am, my family, my experiences. But in the things I haven't said? The things I haven't let you see? Surely the things we hide say as much about us as the things we reveal, even more. Another thread that made me think was the.... how do you define beauty... thread. How do you define beauty? All to often it's how somone looks on the outside and I know it is because that is a large part of how I define it too. I love eyes. I love minds. I fall in love with minds and eyes and I don't even have to ever have met the people behind them. So does it matter what that person looks like... no. It helps if they have gorgeous eyes and I usually find that people with beautiul minds have beautiful eyes, but it's not the way they look that interests me at all. If someone is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside then they are not beautiful at all. So where do these two come together. Well it has to do with the way we see ourselves and the way we project ourselves online. When we are online no one can see us. They can't see the fact that we are slobbing out in our pyjamas or eating toast and gettng butter on our chins and the keyboard. We are not intimidated by beautiful shells or turned off by less than beautiful ones. In some ways we can be more honest online because we can show what is behind the mask and see what is behind other masks. But is that being honest at all. Isn't that mask part of who we are as much as the things we say, the way we think? If you have a negative image of the way you look then doesn't that affect the way you present yourself, whether someone can see you or not? I can express my opinions until the cows come home, contravertial or not. I can talk about intimate details of my life, my past, my experiences, my thoughts, feelings.. blah blah blah. But I don't take compliments well and in the beginning I would actually cry when someone said something really nice about my writing. I am getting better at that but sometimes it still makes me feel uncofortable. Why? Because I hate the way I look. Does that make sense? It's hard to describe but over the last 45 years I have spent a large part of it being told negative things about myself, usually for non malicious reasons. My mother was so concerned that I would get 'big headed' that she took every opportunity to pull me down and sneer at every achievement I have had. You would think that she would be proud that I am the first member of my family to go to university, the first to be a professional, the first to be a writier, the first to be a painter... the first to actually do something interesting and creative with their lives... but no. It is a cardinal sin where I live to be considered 'snobby' or 'above yourself' and she was on a mission to make sure I 'kept it real' And then there's my weight. I used to be a very active person. I played badminton for the county, a lot of sqash, walked the mountains, engaged in very physical activites with the re enactment society I belonged to .... like running around fields waving a sword at sexy men and screming. And then in 1997 I broke my back. For a time I had to use a wheelchair and I was told I would be confined to one at some point... well screw that. No one was interested in pushing me in it and got resentful when they had to so I got out of it and stored it underthe stairs. I threw it out the other day because it was gathering dust. However, as a result of that accident and the ongoing problems it has left me I piled on the weight. Once I was fat AND useless I started to lose hope. Then I got epilepsy and it flared up my psoriasis so now I am a red, flaky, fat, insecure person with severe mobility problems and a stubborn streak a mile wide. Who's going to love me? Well people who can't see me might.But then I would have to pretend to be attractive and that wouldn't be honest.... so I cut that whole thing out of my life. I can be a flirt to a degree but it's never personal. I never let myself get close to anyone, not it that way... well I didn't... because rejection is expected and therefore the opportunity to be rejected is never allowed to present itself So I don't show a photograph of me as I really am, I show one of my head, in a good light, half hiding behind my hair, with enough make up to sink the Titanic. So how honest am I? I am breaking all my own rules about beauty and I am hiding a huge part of myself from eveyone here. And that's not even touching on the whole vampire/angel thing and by completely off the wall beleifs. So how honest am I? i really don't know.

If someone tells me how then I will.

Oh I know how to ride hun, beleive me I know how to ride. And I can find a vag cave with my eyes closed in the dark. I'm safe then. No need to be suspicious of me

That is so very VERY true It doesn't make any sense at all. It's not the face I'm interested it's what's behind it. If I find out you've been to the UK without calling in I'll send a bat after you Seriously we're all far too concerend about how we come across to others and I am no different in that. The only pictures I have posted on the site are ones that are VERY flattering. If anyone has looked at my facebook ones you will see more the real me. Thinking about it I suppose my online me is not real at all... not in that I lie but that in I don't tell all of the truth. I think I might blog on this... hmmm Anyway. I promise I won't take a thing away from you... or anyone else who knocks my door. i will add to your waist size though as no one gets away without being fed You simpering? Now that I would have liked to have seen... actually no I wouldn't I like the you, you are too much. If somone points a fake finger at you either laugh or pull it off... especially if it glows in the dark. It might come in handy finding a condom at night. Looking forward to it hun Impossible

And I use sarcasm alerts

It's where it feels at home What calendar thingie? I'm confused but nothing new there so it doesnt bother me..... confused and in the gutter that's me GULP I'm keeping quiet about this one. As I said in the gallery I don't beleive for one minute that this is your best photo, these kind of photos never are. I think you're far too modest.

Oh lala. Hot stuff. If I were 25 years youger I would be making comments about that lolly

Oh GODS Sam.... Why do you keep doing this to me :wub:

Happy Birthday :wub:

Happy Birthday !!! :wub:

Haha. I'm really not joking you know. I would love for any of you to turn up on my doorstep (hint hint Sam ) I have a history of taking in strangers, somtimes for a few days, sometimes a few months. Some I never see again, some become friends for life. When I ran a druid grove it was completely open house. I guess I have just been lucky, but until my luck runs out I'll carry on opening my door to whoever needs to enter. And I feed you till you can't move out of the chair... which is just as well because that's probably where you'd be sleeping

I voted for my personal preference. My last husband (and I only have two exes and both are still alive) is nine years younger than me and, to be perfectly honest there were many times when it felt like I was bringing up an extra child. I've done the eye candy thing and I want someone who is stable, independent and who can support me emotionally and physically... I dont mean I want a sugar daddy/mamma who is going to lavish money on me.. I mean someone who will pay for dinner now and again and who will contribute to the cost of holidays etc. Having said that... I hate labels and limits and I don't put people in boxed. So if a hot twenty year old came along with a mind to match his body and who is half blind and slightly insane (he would have to be to be interested in me ;p ) then I'd go for it. On the other hand if someone who was older, maybe even consierably older (don't know about 87 I don't think they would keep up with the kinky sex) came along then I would be just as happy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :wub:

Hun you don't need to seek my attention. Just flutter those eyelashes this way and I'm there rivetted. As for strangers knocking at my door... well I've had enough of them in my time and I consider strangers to be friends I haven't met so if anyone wants to visit it's open house. Send me a pm and I'll give you my address for a promise of cookies and that you'll wash the dishes as long as you're here. You'll probably have to sleep on the sofa (except Sam or Rush who will be sleeping with me) but if you can rough it you're welcome. Really ? that's sad. I have been so lucky in my life to have always been accepted for who I am and therefore able to always be who I am.. Well except by my family.. Often I get sneers or even laughed out loud at but that's okay. Perhaps it's just that I haven't noticed anything else. I can be blind to bad things sometimes. ANd as I said before.... this one is quite happy with strangers coming a'knocking

How do you know they don't feel the same way about you ? Me? I can't help but be me. If I try to be all cool and savvy or lie in any way it bites me on the ass in the end. Okay I only post photos that are complimentary... who wants everyone to see their morning face And maybe I am a little more open... nope. I am shy when you first get to meet me but when I warm up my mind slips straight into the gutter where it belongs. I like to make people happy but I like to make me happy too and it's a balance I have just about got right... well maybe not but I'm getting there. There are some things that I haven't told many people about myself but what I have told is absolutely true.

Onviously there is nothing I can do to help you physically. But I can send my blessings and say that I willl be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY :wub:

Pretty much my philosophy on life...there are no obstacles only challenges and everything ends...the bad times eventually go away and the good times are all the more precious because they don't last forever. I don't achieve it as well as this guy. He's a total example to everyon and this video should be compulsory viewing for everyone. Thanks Jamie.

Welcome back hun Lots and lots of stories around. It'll take AGES to catch up... lucky you

Do you REALLY have to wonder ?

No. I definintely would want nothing to do with that.

Ummm.....