Modern High - 9. Chapter 9- Drama in the life of Jacob and Zach!

Chapter 9
Drama in the Life of Jacob and Zach

Part One

Jacob

When I went over what happened the day before, I thought that this thing between my father and I was going to be fixed, but I guess I was wrong.
I woke to my father screaming for me to get up, and let me tell you now, my father has never actually woken me up like this before. Today is going to be hell. I still couldn’t believe that my father wanted to be like this, he’s a pastor at a Gay friendly church for fuck’s sake. Why would he treat me any differently than any other person on this planet? Why would he hit me and call the Bishop to fix me? All these questions were running through my mind as I got ready for today.

After I got done with brushing my teeth, I knew it was time to go down stairs, that’s when my heart increased its speed, making me sweat in places that I normally don’t. As I walked down the hall leading to the stairs, I had to stop; my heart was beating like I was in a marathon and I didn’t win. Sweat glistened off my skin as I went down those stairs, with every creak came another jump to the heart. If you think I was worried about what my father might do, then you’re absolutely positively right. I can’t explain it; I have never actually really been afraid of my father. Well, that’s because he never knew that I was gay until yesterday. When I was on the last step, my father came around the corner and dragged me to the table, where once again he yelled at me.

“Son, I know that you think you’re gay, but you’re not. You hear me, YOU’RE NOT!” The way he was yelling made my ears ring.

I didn’t say anything, afraid if I did he might hit me again. So the day started off like no other, with my father yelling at me, with everything I did. “Do your dishes right, clean the counter like I taught you, don’t be a silly faggot, do it the right way!” He demanded with everything. God, you have no idea how much I just wanted to ask him, ‘What was so wrong with your own son being gay?’ But instead, I held my tongue.

The time had come for us to leave. I was getting my jacket, and my dad was still going off about something or other dealing with me being gay. I just knew that I would like to be in HELL right now instead of here at this moment. My dad reached the door first and he just stood there, watching every little thing I did, including waiting for him to open the door. Once he tried to say something, but instead hot air came out. I was actually glad that he didn’t want to yell or scream at me for the way I put on my jacket or the fact that I waited for him.

In the car was no different than inside the house, as we drove to Calvary Episcopal Church, he wanted to ask me why I was doing this and why I was trying to be something I’m not. Why everything, actually; I was just about to yell at him to SHUT THE FUCK UP when we arrived at the church. Thank god for that. Now the only thing that I have to do is wait for the coffee hour, then we can go talk to Bishop Campbell about me being gay. I actually do like Bishop Campbell, more than my own father at the moment, the reason is that Bishop Campbell can be a little bit more understanding than my father. My father on the other hand couldn’t. I mean, he would have appointments with couples or singles, depends really, but he never had the understanding like Bishop Campbell.

Being an Episcopalian, I had to be here, there was no way of going around it, especially with my father being Fr. Alexander. I didn’t mind at first when I was littler, but now though, I want friends, and places to go. But I’m always home, always following my father’s orders, some which I can point out are ridiculous and unfair. But what can I do?

Anyways enough with my ranting about my problems, let’s get on with it.

When Bishop Campbell came over to us, after shaking everyone’s hand, I was what you’d call nervous as FUCK. I couldn’t help it, I didn’t know if he was going to agree with my father or disagree with him, but I do know that I’m hoping for the best, like maybe in my favor, not my father’s. He shook my father’s hand and then mine. I felt bad because he probably shook a sweaty palm.

“Well, I wanted to meet you in my office, but since you insisted, I drove to your church. Where shall we go, Colon?” Bishop Campbell asked.

“My office is right over here, Bishop,” Dad said somewhat cheerfully. That didn’t do anything except make me more scared for what the outcome might be.

“So, I hear good things, pertaining to your church,” Bishop Campbell said, as we walked from the church into the west wing hall.

“Yes, everything seems to be doing great. The congregation has given a lot to the church; we couldn’t be more pleased.

“That’s good to hear, Fr. Alexander.” Bishop Campbell replied.

All the while I was walking behind them. I didn’t care for their conversation. I was more or less still scared shitless about the conversation that we were yet to have. Nearing the office, my body started to tremble; if you were near enough to me then you would clearly see that I was shaking like a leaf.

“Here we are, gentlemen,” Bishop Campbell said, as we approached my dad’s office. I haven’t been in his office for a while. I wondered what it looked like.

The first person to step foot in the room was my father, striding all the way over to his chair. I thought it was kinda stupid considering that he wasn’t leading the conversation, the Bishop was, but I didn’t say anything. The next person entering was Bishop Campbell, he walked solemnly over to the couch. Me? I was still at the door looking in.

I didn’t remember what I saw. The office of Fr. Alexander looked totally different than what it did when I was smaller, younger in age. I remember when I was six and I came into this office, before Bishop Campbell became the Bishop of this diocese. I remembered the color of this office was dark brown and how the couch matched the dark brown, also how the filing cabinets were a cherry color. The window behind my father’s chair, I remember the frame being navy blue. Everything in here looked different, as if my father has become someone I don’t know anymore, hence how he acted when he found out about me. And now here we all are, waiting for this meeting to come in order.

“Well, I guess there’s no reason to sit around looking at everything, why don’t we start,” Colon Alexander, my father said.

“Let’s,” Bishop Campbell agreed.

“As you know, my son Jacob has recently come out to me, and I don’t like it one bit. What can you suggest for him to become stra… normal once more?”

“Colon, like I told you last night, there is nothing that we can do to make him ’Normal’, as you so eloquently as put it.”

“What about a camp?”

“Like I also told you last night, we cannot make him normal, we can only advise him not to act a certain way. The camp doesn’t ‘cure’ him, it teaches him to hide his sexuality.

“Well, what can I do, I mean I am a pastor of a Gay-friendly church, but I can’t accept it when it comes to my own son!” My dad raised his voice a little, meaning that he wasn’t accepting what Bishop Campbell has told him.

“I’m sorry Fr. Alexander, but I don’t see why being gay, especially for your son to be gay, has you so angry, maybe even in rage.”

“Like I told you, I don’t want my SON to be gay, I want him to be normal… to be straight!”

“What do you expect me to do, Fr. Alexander?

“I wanted you to send him to a camp, I want him to be converted back to normal, do you think you can do that for me Bishop Campbell?!”

“I… um… OK, that’s only if you wish, Fr. Alexander.” Bishop Campbell looked from my father over to me, the look of pity was well written on his face, he almost looked saddened to be working with someone like Fr. Alexander, my father. I couldn’t blame him one bit. As for me, on the other hand, I was just sitting there across the room while this conversation was taking place. I ignored them just enough to think, and what I was thinking is, ‘I wonder what Zach is doing right about now?’ The saddest look came across my face as I soon realized I was going away. What would happen to Zach?

Zach

My day started out like no other, I thought what happened yesterday didn’t happen. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it to happen, but what is to come of Jacob? Yesterday at church and after, I sorta felt this connection to him somehow. I can’t explain it, but I wanted him to want me as I wanted him. Though now, I don’t know. I want this, whatever you want to call this thing between Jacob and me, to last, to grow, to expand. “Sigh!”

Rolling out from underneath my blankets, I sat there thinking, ‘This day is never going to be happy, it’s going to be sad, uneventful and full of sorrows.’ Getting up from the bed, I headed for my dresser to pick something out. I didn’t care what; I just needed clothes for school.

After picking out the clothes, I sighed as I walked over to the bathroom. Shuffling my feet as they met solid cold ceramic tiles, the cold felt bitterly sweet on my feet. Still sliding them, I moved over to the shower. Once there, I turned on the shower, which started the daily schedule for my day. Sticking my hand under the falling water to test it, it became hot enough for me, so I walked in. As I felt the hot water run over my back, I felt my body relax. It was needed for the day ahead. My usual shower consisted of shampoo, conditioner, plus a little jack off session. I didn’t want to, but you know young teenage bodies. Especially being a male, you need to relieve yourself, and that’s what happened. It relaxed me more, but I don’t know, it felt as if… Never mind, I haven’t clue why I am even bothering to explain it to myself, I wouldn’t know where to start.

Hopping out of the shower, I dried myself. Trying as hard as I could not to get hard, but it didn’t work, I still became hard. I ignored it this time though, instead I brushed my teeth, dressed myself and walked out of the bathroom.

On the way to the stairs, I dropped my clothes in my room to pick up later. I descended down the stairs and into the living room. I guess my mother was in a better mood, because I smelt some delicious food cooking, the smell enticed me to walk into the kitchen. Seeing my mother there, working at the stove to create a beautiful breakfast for her and me, I chose to give her a kiss, just to remind her that I care.

“Good morning honey, sleep well?” She flashed me a smile, like nothing ever happened.

“If you want to call it sleep, sure.” I replied to her sarcastically.

“What’s up with you?” she asked, while turning away from the stove to look at me squarely in the eye. That made it hard for me to even look at her, so I hung my head, and looked at the ground. As if there was something amazing happening with it. “So what’s wrong? Is it about what happened with Jacob and Fr. Alexander?” She almost didn’t say it, like she knew that was it, I couldn’t blame her, she has her suspicions already.

“Yes, Mom, I can’t help it. OK? It’s like Jacob and I had this connection…” Son of a bitch, did I just out myself, god dammit! I can’t believe I did it again.

“Wha…What was that?” she said while she put the spatula down, and then she put her hands on her hips. I definitely wanted to laugh at the way she was standing, but I had more important things to attend to.

“Nothing, just nothing. Can we just… just forget about it, please?!” Me, I was shaking like a leaf, trembling for what was about to come.

“I knew it, I just knew it. Why did you try to deny it yesterday? Hmmm, why? Do you think I would do what every other parent on the planet does?” Gah, why can’t she just drop it? I asked her to politely, didn’t I?

“Mom, please?”

“Mom, please. What?”

“Can we just have breakfast? I don’t want to be late.”

“Late for what, school? School can wait until after you give me an answer, Zachary Martin!”

“Alright, you want an answer,” What was I about to do? Do I confirm her accusations or do I deny them, like I did yesterday? “Alright Mom, you’re right. OK? Just can we please drop this, just for now?”

“OK, OK. I’m just glad that you finally agreed with me, instead of hiding it from me.”

“Well, what other choice did I have in the matter, I’m hungry.” I said giggling.

“OK, OK. I guess you win this round.”

While my mother fetched the food, I collected the dishes for breakfast. If you think that I actually do care that my mother found out about me, then I would say, yes, I do care, but at least she didn’t beat me like Jacob’s dad did. I still couldn’t believe that the pastor of a gay friendly church would do that to his own son.

My mood suddenly changed, I could feel my face form a saddened look and I knew my mother could see me. I just felt really bad for him. My body tensed and the pain of the ass beating that Fr. Alexander gave Jacob made it worst. I wanted to cry, but I held it together.

“What’s the matter, hun?” my mother asked in a concerned voice.

“Hmmm, oh nothing, just thinking. It’s nothing, really.” My mother gave me this look that she didn’t believe me, but it’s her problem, not mine, that she doesn’t believe me.

After that little confrontation we sat down finally and had a good ‘ole fashioned breakfast’, just like old times, before things turned sour, the only difference now is that my father isn’t here. I couldn’t care less though, it wasn’t like he was a part of this family, at least not as far as I’m concerned. When breakfast was done, I helped my mother with the dishes, since I had time to. You never really know how much you miss something until you remind yourself of the times before. The last dish was put in the dishwasher and so was the feeling of contentment, it vanished because I knew that I had to go to school soon. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to, because I knew I would meet up with Toby sooner or later... and the confrontation I didn’t want or need.

All too soon, my mother suggested that I better be off or I might be late; I agreed, of course, but I didn’t say I liked it. Taking as long as possible to drag out the impossible things that I am to confront this Monday morning. Giving my mother a kiss on the cheek and telling her that I love her, I was off to another day of Hell, a.k.a School.

I walked out the door, leaving my safe zone, the place that I called my sanctuary, the place that I knew I wouldn’t be ridiculed for my actions. All too soon I met up with Nathan and Nichole, they seemed happy, but I wasn’t. I think they saw it written on my face as soon as I was close enough, “What’s up, Zach?” both asked me.

“Nothing, just nothing.” Yes, I lied; it was as much for their own good as it was for mine.

“Right, like I believe that. So Zach, tell me what’s really wrong?” This time Nichole decided to jump on me for information…

“Like I said, it’s nothing. Just a thought.”

“Whatever you say, Zach. I’m not going to pump for you for information.” Finally they have given up, thank goodness for that.

“So are we going to stand around here waiting for me to volunteer information or are we going to head for school?”

“I guess head for school,” Nichole said in a huff, followed by Nathan.

So we walked towards the shit hole of a school, with the wind blowing my hair, the birds chirping all around me, and the sun out in its full swing. The colors on the trees, it seemed like a fairy tale, really. With the ground covered with leafs, and every step you took you heard a crunch, I almost laughed when I noticed, but I held back. We walked over the bridge to the park to cut across it, just to make the trip shorter. Nichole grabbed Nathan’s hand, just to make sure she got across alright, it seemed so sweet to actually see my friends do that, I smirked at the interaction, I am so happy for those two. Me, on other hand? I felt empty. I didn’t get it really. After all, it’s not like I can do the same, if you know what I mean, that is.

Finally we got to the school. As we progressed across yet another street, you could see that the banners for the football team had been taken down, along with the Captain’s poster. If you remember, that picture was of Toby holding a football in his right hand and in his left hand he held his football helmet. After remembering that fateful day, I felt a pang of regret, of anguish. This pang filled my body and I bowed my head to get past the front gate. I didn’t want people to see, because I still didn’t know if Toby had released the picture of me yet.

All too soon, people started talking and pointing at me, I still had my head hung, but I knew that they were looking at me. Embarrassment filled me; I wanted to run, to get away, to cry in secrecy. Instead, I walked briskly over to the front door of the school. Before I went in, I looked in through window. You could see photos of me taped and plastered on walls, there must have been thousands. Now more than ever, I wanted to die, to not live anymore. The one secret that I had was out. My body jumped when a hand touched my shoulder, “It’s only me,” Toby whispered. You could clearly tell that he was having ball making fun of me. Again, I didn’t have to wait… Nathan pulled him away from me. When I turned around I saw Nathan coldcock him in the jaw, I felt envious of Nathan. He truly is a best friend, as the people milled around the fight scene, Nathan walked away, without even looking back.

“Are you, okay?” He asked, as if he couldn’t see me literally shaking where I stood.

“I… ummm, need to… get way.” My voice was nothing but trembles, on the verge of crying.

“Alright…. NICHOLE!” Nathan screamed over the group of people still yelling ‘Fight!’ Nichole showed up and one look told her exactly what was happening. They took me by the sides and walked me around the school, sitting me up against a tree. I wanted to cry as soon as I touched the tree, but I still managed to hold the tears back. My eyes stung from not letting them fall, but when I looked up at my two best friends, they looked as sad I was. I didn’t want to face them, I felt ashamed that I couldn’t stand up for myself. I felt stupid for trusting Toby like that.

Even being around the back of the school, you could still hear the kids laughing, taunting me all the more. I wanted to hide, to get away from this school. I thought back to yesterday when Jacob and I were next to the church. I remembered it perfectly, the way his eyes sparkled, and his lips curled up into a smile. The next vision my mind played was when we were kissing each other, oh how I love the feel of his lips against mine. But that memory only lasted for a couple of seconds, and then it switched over to when I was in the car with my mother, she was talking on the phone with Fr. Alexander. As soon as I realized it, the hurt came back two times stronger. I seriously wanted to cry, but for some reason, I still wanted to hold my tears back, probably to show that I’m not that much of a little pussy faggot boy, who couldn’t take what was being dished out.

Coming out of my thoughts, I looked at Nathan, then to Nichole. Both looking directly at me, I waited for someone to say something, and that’s when I heard it, the same voice, coming closer to me with every beat of my heart, and with every step he took, he came closer, but didn’t get too close, with Nathan and Nichole blocking his way. Toby stopped in his tracks because he knew that he wasn’t getting to me this way. So he talked through Nathan and Nichole.

“You aint gonna have protection all day, Zach, so you might as well come out and play,” he stated with a laugh. I felt even more ashamed that I had to hide behind my friends, just so a bully couldn’t get at me. As you can tell, I am a pathetic excuse for a teenage boy.When Toby gave up on me, he walked away leaving just the three of us again. I seriously didn’t want to go to school today. I wanted to restart the day and make sure none of this shit happened, make it go away. Maybe even restart the school year, but this time without Toby.

The bell rang signaling that we had to get to class, I realized that Toby was right about not having my friends around to protect me from him or anyone else who didn’t like gays. They took my hands to lift me up. I dusted myself off and headed for school, before I got too far, Nathan called me back to him. I didn’t want to go back, I wanted to keep walking. To prove that I’m not what people think I am, I can act straight if I want to.

“Where, do you think you’re going, mister, are you sure that you want to do this?” Nichole asked, while Nathan looked nervous, waiting for my answer.

“Yes, Nichole. Because, well, I have prove that I’m not what people think I am, even though the pictures do make it seem obvious. What can I do? Toby was right, I can’t have you guys protect me all day. We don’t even have the same classes; we don’t see each other, other than lunch. So how can you protect me from him or anyone else?”

“Ugh, Zach. I know that you want to prove yourself, but you don’t have to act like it doesn’t bother you when we both know that it does. You’re scared shitless, ain’t you?” Sure I’m scared shitless, but it’s something that I have to do. I have to make it or what are the chances of ever getting over this?

“Yes Nathan, I am. But you know something? I just have to do this. I just have to. OK?”

“OK,” Both of them said at the same time.

Turning around and walking towards the front of the school, I looked over my shoulder once at my best friends. I smirked knowing full well that they would protect me, even if I was a stubborn little shit. That’s what I love about my friends.

End of Part One...

Till next time
((Hugz—Kizzes))
Remijay <3

Thank you Pete! You're the Best, at what you do! <3 Remijay