Electric Blue and Catnip - 1. Chapter 1

One

“Sign here.” His agent, Peter Wilson, indicated with a finger. “Breathe, Alexi, it’s just six months.”

Alexi wondered if the devil told his subordinates the same words in hell. Don’t worry it’s only forever. He signed his name on the appropriate lines and sat back in his chair to look at Peter.

“Are you sure this is the right thing? I can’t tell anymore.”

Peter gathered the documents on the desk, checking the signatures before he returned them to his briefcase. He leaned on the desk and studied Alexi with a kind gaze.

“Your doctor thinks the time away will help your stage fright, and it will give you time to reconnect with your music. Japan has been hard on you these last months, Alexi. You need a break.”

I need a change, Alexi thought with a sigh.

He made a living composing music and playing piano with orchestras around the world. Peter’s company had signed him to their label the year before he’d graduated from Julliard. The media was usually kind to him, dubbing him the one time wonder, a piano man who made millions with each concert. His luck, however, seemed to have run out in the past month.

Two months ago, he was to perform for a large audience at a theatre in Sapporo. Five minutes before the concert started, a panic attack had sidelined him, freezing him backstage. He’d stared at the lone piano in the middle of the stage and felt his world crumbling down around him. He had no idea why he couldn’t face an audience anymore; all he knew was that his music had deteriorated from that day. He couldn’t compose, when he played, he was afraid and crowds scared the hell out of him. His critics had turned up their persecution; his music career was on the verge of ruin. He wasn’t sure a break could help him right now.

“I’m surprised Silver Studios signed me on for their precious movie project.”

“Even though you’re unable to perform on stage, you’re a damn good composer, Alexi. I chose this project because it will give you a chance to get back to basics. Writing music and feeling it out, no popularity contests.”

Alexi nodded understanding Peter’s logic. He did miss the studio and a chance to go back to New York was even better.

“What are you going to do in the next six months?” he asked Peter.

Peter chuckled and walked around the desk to the coffee tray the butler had brought in. He made two coffees and handed one cup to Alexi.

“You keep me busy, but I do have other clients who need my attention. In June, my wife and I will go on vacation, rekindle the romance without the kid.” Peter gave him a wide smile. “It will give us a chance to reconnect too.”

Mrs. Wilson was a pleasant woman who worked as a teacher in London. She and Peter had a perfect marriage, Alexi thought fondly, perfect in that they suited each other. Peter was in his early forties, aging well, not an ounce of fat on his body. He kept very fit and it gave him that handsome seasoned look that came from self-assurance. They had one daughter who they both doted on. She was sixteen and attending a private school in London. Alexi could imagine the Wilsons growing old together in a country house, watching their grandchildren running around.

Peter’s company had its headquarters in London. When Alexi had been starting out, he’d had to live in London and gotten to meet Peter’s family often. Now that Alexi was successful, Peter had given him leave to work out of any city he chose. Hence, the personal visits by Peter to bright and sunshiny Osaka.

Looking around the office it suddenly occurred to him that no one would be here for the next six months. His house would be vacant, and the beach was lovely in June, he smiled at Peter.

“This place will be empty for the summer. You guys can stay here and visit Osaka. The caretaker will be here to help you with everything. I'm sure Mrs. Wilson will love it. You can show her the sights and the beach.”

“That’s very generous of you,” Peter said sinking into the armchair across the desk. “I’ll take you up on that. What are your parents saying about your decision to go to New York?”

Alexi sipped his coffee, his thoughts filling with the argument he’d had with his father at dinner last night. His father was so unbending.

“Dad’s not happy. He wants me to quit the limelight and join the company. It would make him happy to see me try to sell machinery parts. It’s not enough that he has my brother with him.”

His father, Hideki Kotaru, was livid that he was returning to New York. Alexi suspected it was because he got along more with his American grandparents. Hideki had married an American woman after university. They’d lived happily in New York until his Japanese grandfather had fallen ill prompting Hideki to move back to Japan, to take over the reins of the family business. His mother, Allegra, had left her family behind and embraced a new Japanese one.

Sometimes, Alexi wished that he’d gotten the chance to stay in New York while he’d been young. His career would have taken such a different direction. He and his father would probably have an easier relationship. As it was now, they constantly fought about everything.

Where his father was strict, demanding his children follow social norms, his mother always chose the lenient path. Thank the gods for that, Alexi thought with a shudder, otherwise he’d be some sort of executive stuck at Kotaru Industries working as a company man.

“Your mom will talk to him,” Peter cut into his thoughts with a reassuring smile.

He wished he could be as hopeful. Last night’s argument might have ruined any footing Allegra might use in his defense.

A knock on the door interrupted his depressing thoughts. He couldn’t help the smile when he saw his manager.

Lily Mikado was a self-declared fashion guru. Judging from her look today, she’d probably gone shopping in preparation for their trip. Her trim luscious body looked sexy in a short black dress that hugged her curves to perfection. Her black hair was styled in a short cut that gave her an adorable pixie look. She winked at him, and her pink-coated lips curved into a wide smile when she saw Peter.

“Look at you.” She stopped by Peter’s chair and sunk long red-coated nails into his brown curly hair that was always windblown. “We need to talk about this look of yours. I can’t have you standing beside Alexi looking this way.”

“Hello, Lily.” Peter put his coffee down and adjusted his black jacket. It was covering a black t-shirt and he was in a pair of blue jeans with black converse shoes. Alexi hid a smile when Peter gave them a once over.

Lily perched her hip on the desk on Peter’s side and reached over to steal Alexi’s coffee. She sipped the black liquid and wrinkled her nose at the taste.

“Get a boyfriend, Lily, so that you can steal his coffee.” He pointed to the coffee tray. “Why couldn’t you make your own?”

“If you changed your mind about your preferences, then I’d have a boyfriend, wouldn’t I?” Lily smiled at him and he glared. “Don’t I tempt you in anyway?”

“You make me want to hit you over the head. Is that good enough?”

“You can try. I’ll take you down first, Alexander Kotaru. That skinny body of yours can’t handle this.” She ran her palm over her thigh. “I’ve been doing endurance training. My gym instructor says it burns out calories.”

“You scare me.” He shook his head at the thought of a determined Lily drop kicking him to the ground. She would do it too, with a smile on her face. “Am not skinny, I’m athletic.”

“Whatever you say, brown eyes,” Lily smirked at him. She turned her attention to Peter to find him watching them in amusement. “What?”

“How are you two going to survive living in one house?”

“It’s big enough for both of us. Besides, Adrian will be joining us for a short stay next week.”

“Adrian?” Peter asked with a raised a brow directed at Alexi.

He’d figured he’d be seeing it when that little tidbit came up. Peter knew too much about him, he thought with a sigh. Standing up, he stretched his arms above his head. He didn’t want to discuss his constant need to have Adrian close to him. It was too pathetic.

“Alexi.” Peter chided when he didn’t comment.

“He’s my best friend, Peter. That’s all there is to it.”

Lily put down the coffee and waved Alexi to her side. He obliged her, walking around his desk to where she was leaning on the corner. She slid an arm around his waist and turned to Peter.

“I promise to take care of him, Peter. He’ll be so fresh and new when he comes back, you won’t recognize him.”

“I’m afraid to believe that.” Peter stood and reached for his briefcase. Tapping Lily’s nose gently, he smirked and grinned at Alexi. “No drugs, no hookers and don’t have too much fun. I’m not missing my vacation because of a crisis created by you two.”

“Party pooper,” Lily accused wrinkling her nose at Peter.

“Alexi, try to relax and don’t think about things.”

He wondered how he was supposed to take that advice. Music came from thinking, and emotion, he couldn’t shut it out. Lily squeezed his waist before she let go of him.

“Alexi, your brother is looking for you upstairs. Change into the clothes I laid out on your bed. You still have that photo shoot left.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Alexi looked down at his fitting blue faded jeans, bare feet and V-neck white t-shirt. All he needed were shoes, and he’d be good.

“Go change.” Lily ordered her eyes glowing daggers. He sighed.

“I’m twenty-seven, that’s two years older than you, Lily. You can’t boss me around like this.”

She wiggled her deadly looking red nails at him. “You might be older, but I have the sharp nails here. Go before I use them on your cute face.”

Cute, he scoffed mentally. He rolled his eyes at her and left when she looked at the door expectantly. Damn woman should have joined the army instead.

*****

“Adrian Rosen?” Peter demanded the moment they were alone. Lily got off the desk and walked around to take the seat Alexi had just vacated. “Stop encouraging that maniac, he destroys Alexi when he leaves.”

“Adrian is also the only one who understands Alexi the most.” Lily leaned her elbows on the desk with a sigh. “Alexi is not playing like he used to. His mind is full of that stupid night when he couldn’t go on stage. Two days ago, we went out shopping and he freaked out in the middle of a mob of fans. I thought he was going to die from hyperventilation.”

“He’s lost his confidence.” Peter sat in his armchair again placing his briefcase on the floor. “Working in New York will force it back. He’ll have no responsibilities to the public, minimal recognition. It will be good for his music. As for Adrian, I’m not so sure. That guy has bad karma, I’m pretty sure he’s the reason why Alexi is so unhappy.”

Lily shook her head and stared at the desk for a moment. “Do you think he’ll be able to face an audience in six months?”

“That’s your job, Lily. Make it happen. He has a tour starting at the end of August in Tokyo. A lot of important guests, all of them expecting the amazing Alexi, we have to make it happen.”

“And here Alexi calls me the slave driver.” Lily leaned back in her chair and wished for a miracle.

She’d seen Alexi crumble at the thought of going on stage. She wasn’t sure what had caused the panic, but since then, even a small crowd was becoming a problem. They were going to need a miracle to get Alexi to his old self.

****

Alexi went upstairs to the second floor, his bare feet silent on the wooden floor. He wondered what Phillip wanted to tell him. No doubt, it had to do with the epic fight at his parent's house last night. Turning east, he headed for the master bedroom.

He’d bought this house after his first successful tour. The beach was beautiful in the morning, and the master bedroom had a stunning view of the ocean. He walked across the large room to the floor length windows and pressed a hand to the cool glass. It was sunny today, and the waves were lazily sweeping onto the beach. He could almost feel the cold water on his feet.

“You’ve always loved the beach,” Phillip said behind him, his tone nostalgic as he came to stand beside Alexi. “Mom used to say the waves were like music that soothed you to sleep.”

Memories of summers spent running up and down the Tarui Southern beach filled Alexi’s thoughts, making him smile.

Phillip would be playing volleyball with his friends. Their mother would lie on a lounge chair reading a book, while Alexi ran along the beach until exhaustion would make him lie down on the sand. When it was, time to go, and he was still sleeping, their father would carry him to the car. He’d bought this house because of those memories. He loved the atmosphere at the coast; it calmed him down on most days, although not of late. These days he felt lost and in crisis.

“Did Dad send you?” he asked quietly.

He dropped his hand from the glass and turned to look at his older brother. Where he was only five foot eight, his brother was six foot tall. Obviously, the height came from their mother’s side. Phillip was always dressed in impeccable tailored suits and today was no exception. He looked handsome in a grey suit and white shirt. Phillip wore his hair short and neat, Alexi liked to think his brother had taken after their father.

Dark brown eyes met his and he sighed. “What did he want you to tell me?”

“He’s worried about your health, Alexi. You’re not yourself and you know it.” Phillip shrugged and Alexi turned to look around the neat bedroom to avoid Phillip’s probing gaze. “Last night could have been avoided. You know Mom is always on your side, but you made it impossible for her to back you up.”

“If Dad would listen to me for once, I wouldn’t need her to back me up.”

Alexi stalked to the bed and stared at the clothes Lily had left out for him. Removing his t-shirt, he reached for the blue custom fit pinstriped shirt and wore it with jerky motions. His anger rose at the thought of his fight with their father last night. He hated that it was affecting him this way.

He buttoned the shirt and dropped his jeans to the floor. “I won’t work for Kotaru Industries and you can all forget about me giving up my music. Last night was bound to happen sometime, Phillip. Dad keeps pushing for the impossible and you know I can’t work in that company.”

“You called him an asshole.”

“He was acting like one.” Grabbing up the black slim denim slacks on the bed, he pulled them on over his briefs and zipped up. He ran fingers through his mussed bottle-brown hair and headed to the bathroom to fix it. “He told me I just wanted to go to New York, so that Adrian and I can fuck around like rabbits. Who was being crude there?”

“You two are so annoying.” Phillip walked to the bed and picked up the clothes he’d left on the floor. Alexi watched him perch on the bed through the mirror in the bathroom. “Adrian will be in New York with you?”

“What of it, Phillip? Please don’t start too.”

“I haven’t said anything.”

Alexi came out of the bathroom his hair brushed into the soft cut that had the straight locks framing his face. Stopping to stare at his brother, he made a face when he noted his clothes neatly folded on the bed. “You didn't have to do that. I could've done it.”

Phillip waved his protest away and instead launched into a lecture. “You’re so angry; you don’t know where you’re coming from. Alexi, are you sure you have to go work in New York? You should go on vacation to an island, somewhere quiet, away from the press and the demands of your career.”

Alexi had thought about that numerous times in the past few weeks. He leaned on the wall by the bathroom door suddenly tired. His gaze finding Phillip’s he sighed. “In case you haven't noticed, this house is on a beach. Most people would consider this a vacation spot. I wish it were that easy. I feel like I’m losing my music. Dealing with the whirlwind of schedules, appearances, publicity stunts, concerts, there is no privacy now that the entire country knows my face. I listened to the last few songs I’ve written and it was all crap. It’s like I’ve lost my ability to write.”

“You are just tired.”

“That’s exactly what everyone keeps telling me. I’m tired of hearing it. If the music is crap, its crap,” Alexi said rubbing his eyes. “I need Adrian. I wrote good music when I was with him. I need to go to New York, and be with people who will challenge me.”

“Adrian has let you down every time you two have been together.” The reminder was painful to hear as it stabbed so deep inside him he wanted to cry. He loved Adrian Rosen, sometimes that love got confused between that double edge of friendship and being lovers. Nevertheless, what could he do, no one understood him the way Adrian did. He’d written his best music when he and Adrian had been together. “You won’t survive another betrayal from him.”

“We’re friends, Phillip.” Pushing off the wall, Alexi moved to the bed and sat down beside his brother. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I promise. Now, on a scale of one to ten, how bad is it with Dad?”

“He’s angry with himself for letting the fight get that bad. Mom is not talking to him. You’re leaving a mess at home.” Phillip complained.

“My flight can’t be delayed again. I’ve already done it so many times; the guys at Silver Studios are going to think I’m playing around.”

“You can call him,” Phillip suggested. When Alexi rolled his shoulders in indecision, Phillip wrapped an arm around him. “It’s really weird for Mom not to be talking to Dad, you know. She might forgive him if you call.”

Alexi wasn’t sure he could, but he’d try. His mother was always looking out for him and if she wasn’t talking to Hideki, he had to do something. Groaning, he wondered where he was going to get the courage to make that call after he’d called his father an asshole.

He dropped his head into his hands in embarrassment.

****

His courage found him at the Osaka International airport late at night. He and Lily were waiting to board their flight for New York. Pacing the length of the quiet private lounge, Alexi reached for his cell phone and dialed his father. He closed his eyes as the phone rang.

Five rings into the call, and his courage faltered. When they got to seven, he was ready to hang up.

“Hello.” Hideki’s perpetually stern voice boomed in his ear.

“It’s me.” He managed wondering why he’d bothered to call at all. Scowling at his reflection in the windows, he continued. “I’m leaving now. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Did you tell your mother?”

“Yes, we had dinner.” He shifted his feet and sunk his free hand into his trouser pocket. “I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t mean for it to get that bad.”

“It was my fault. I’m sorry.” A shuffling of papers filled the silence and Alexi smiled. His father was still in the office. “You can go home now, Mom is not mad anymore.”

“You two are too much alike. Take care of yourself, Son.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Call if you need anything.” The call ended and Alexi stared at his phone. Yep, his father was one of those people, the ones that hung up calls when it wasn’t he who called in the first place.

“Alexi, it’s time.” Lily called to him, gathering her bag and his carryon. She was dressed down for the trip in comfortable keds, jeans and a baggy jersey. “You can try and get some sleep on the flight. You look terrible.”

He picked up the shopping bags she’d left on the lounge chairs and followed her. She really was charming, he thought with a sigh. He could patent her brand of attitude, he thought with a smile as she turned to see if he was following.

*****

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