Electric Blue and Catnip - 8. Chapter 8

Joshua hurried from his bedroom, his hair dark hair barely dry. He adjusted his light green t-shirt. His thoughts centered on the progress of the dinner he was making. He’d rushed home after the call from Alexi at four-thirty. The call prompted a stop for groceries needed for dinner. He walked into the kitchen and hurried straight for the oven. He’d left the chicken to bake for the duration of his shower. A quick peek into the oven assured him he still had a few minutes to wait.

Happy that he hadn’t ruined dinner yet, he pulled out serving bowls from the cupboard to hold the wild rice and salad. He had set the dining table earlier in his excitement. Ever since Alicia and Tim had left, he rarely used the round table. When he did, it was to grade papers, or dump books. He’d experienced an odd pleasure just setting it for dinner. He had just finished putting the rice in a bowl when the doorbell rang.

He added punctuality to Alexi’s repertoire, as he glanced at his watch. It was six thirty on the dot. He set the platter of chicken on the kitchen counter, and went to open the door.

Alexi stood on his doorstep holding a bottle of wine. His slender, lean body in an ivory long sleeve Henley top and black slim-fit pants. His feet encased in black belted clogs. He looked good enough to eat. He fought the urge to pull Alexi into a hug right then. It was strange how happy he was to see the musician standing there.

“I hope I’m not too early.” A breeze ruffled brown hair into Alexi’s face and Joshua reached out to push the soft strands away from his eyes. His fingers lingered over Alexi’s forehead for a moment before they fell away. Color flushed on Alexi’s cheeks making Joshua smile.

He took a step back to allow Alexi into the house. “You’re on time. Come in, come in.”

Alexi entered the short hall, stopping to wait for him to close the door. He held out the bottle of wine. Joshua took the bottle and led the way toward the kitchen. “I’m baking the chicken right now. I hope you don’t mind waiting a bit.”

“I don’t mind.” Alexi gasped in awe when they entered in the kitchen. “You have a gorgeous kitchen. Are those herbs?”

Alexi hurried over to the windowsill by the kitchen sink. Joshua found an ice bucket and filled it with ice. He put the bottle of wine in the ice and turned to find Alexi smelling the potted plants by the kitchen sink. He picked each pot, taking in a deep breath; he replaced the pot back on the windowsill with a smile. The waning sunlight rays coming through the window danced on Alexi’s hair and his olive skin, beautiful!

Alexi looked up and he jerked his gaze to the covered bowls on the table guiltily.

“We use them for cooking sometimes.” Joshua offered the fact with a husky voice. He cleared his throat and picked up the bowl of rice. “It’s a bigger kitchen than most. When the townhouse turned into triplexes, the first floor got a larger kitchen than the ones upstairs. I’ll give you a tour of the house after dinner. Will you take the salad bowl?”

“Sure,” the answer came. Alexi put back the mint plant and started the water. He washed his hands and wiped them on a dishtowel hanging beside the sink. He picked up the green bowl of chopped lettuce and followed Joshua to the dining room.

“Did you grow the herbs? You don’t seem the type to do that?”

“Oh, really, what type do I seem to you?” Joshua asked as he placed his bowl of wild rice in the middle of the table.

Alexi followed suit, glancing around the lavender painted dining room. “I don’t know. You don’t seem like you’d do any sort of gardening. The herbs need water by the way.”

Joshua laughed at the observation. “Alicia bought them. She redid the kitchen as well some three summers ago. She took care of the kitchen while she lived here.”

“She’s a woman with a vision, your sister. I’d love to meet her. It’s too bad I couldn’t stay for her wedding.”

“I think you two would get along.” Joshua led the way back to the kitchen. He poured Alexi a glass of orange juice and urged him to perch on a stool at the kitchen table. Grabbing an oven mitt, he opened the oven door to check the chicken.

“Did you always live here?” Alexi asked.

“I moved in around five years ago. A friend of mine who was moving away recommended it. I was going through a major change, and thought it was a good place to start a fresh.”

“Start a fresh?” Alexi asked.

“Unlike you, Alexi, I didn’t have the courage to tell my family I’m gay when I first found out. I’ve only been out for five years now.”

He turned the chicken before he risked a glance to gauge Alexi’s reaction. Alexi sat on the stool with one leg folded under him. His gaze fixed on Joshua expectantly. “What made you change your mind about telling your family?”

“I got tired of lying. At some point things just fell apart and I had to quit lying to everyone I loved and allow nature to take its course.”

“Sounds reasonable, more important, you survived coming out, didn’t you.” Alexi smiled at him and Joshua fell in love. “Check the chicken, Joshua. I’m starving.”

He chuckled amused at how easy it was to talk to Alexi. He feared the younger man might know what brand of underwear he preferred by the end of the night. He rescued the chicken and forced his concentration on getting dinner on the table after that.

“Food looks good.” Alexi praised when they sat down at the table to eat. He picked up his napkin and placed it on his lap. “What is it?”

“It’s chicken margarita. My mother taught me the recipe because it’s very easy to make.” He uncorked the bottle and poured wine into Alexi’s glass. “We all had to learn to cook at home.”

“You grew up in a very industrious home.” Alexi complimented thanking him for the wine. “Ours was ruled by obligations to the family and what it meant to be a Kotaru. It can be very exhausting stuff. What you told me earlier about coming out, will you tell me about it, if you don’t mind that is.”

Joshua cut into his chicken and took a bite savoring the burst of colorful spices that filled his mouth. Looking up, he was glad to find Alexi enjoying his meal as well.

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Why did it take so long to tell your family you were gay?”

Thinking back to those days, he didn’t know why he’d kept it a secret. “My mother is big on responsibility. She expected the best from her kids, socially, academically; we always had to do better. When I turned seventeen, I was playing football, dating a girl I met in third grade. Everything was golden, until this boy named Nathan transferred into our school. I really liked him, and it was such a guilty pleasure, I couldn’t resist.”

“Is that when you found out you liked boys?” Alexi teased in a light tone.

Smiling, Joshua shrugged. “I suspected it once or twice before but I didn’t acknowledge it until Nathan. We had a hot torrid affair behind my girlfriend’s back. Nathan got emotionally involved and I couldn’t give him what he wanted. I broke his heart.”

“He wanted you to dump the girl and be with him.”

“I couldn’t do it.” Joshua confessed guiltily. Nathan, wherever he was, probably hated him more than his ex-wife did. The last time he’d seen Nathan they’d both been in high school. “I was scared of what people thought. Since I was graduating that year, I figured I didn’t have to deal with it then.”

“What happened after high school graduation?”

“I went to college, got to know this girl, Sherry. She was a girl I knew from home, her parents asked me to look out for her at college. I did. On summer vacations, we ended up going home together. My mother assumed we were dating. In truth, I was working on finding courage to tell my family I’m gay. I had found a group of friends at school who were supportive and at one point I almost came out.”

Sipping at his wine, Alexi leaned back in his chair. A strangely curious frown dancing on his smooth forehead, Joshua felt compelled to reach over and smooth it out. Piercing a piece of chicken, he took a bite and chewed it to sidetrack his thoughts.

“Why didn’t you?” Alexi prompted.

This part of the story cut deeper every time. Picking up his glass of wine, he drank deeply for courage.

“There was a summer party at home. I was so drunk, I have no idea what happened that night. I woke up in the morning with a splitting headache and Sherry naked beside me.”

Alexi’s eyes narrowed at that but he didn’t speak.

Joshua couldn’t blame him for that. His past made him sick to the stomach. Putting his fork on the plate, he sat back. “When we went back to college, Sherry showed up a month later at my apartment. She was three months pregnant and she insisted the baby was mine.”

“You have a child.” Alexi gaped.

“I had a son.” Joshua supplied bitterly. “I couldn’t leave Sherry to deal with the pregnancy alone. I couldn’t have left her had I wanted. My mother didn’t raise me like that. I made the sacrifice. My child deserved a family; I chose to marry Sherry so that we could raise our kid together.”

“Oh, Joshua.” Alexi placed a comforting slender hand on his. “That was really brave of you.”

“It was hell.” Joshua shrugged. “I was happy for the child. He was a miracle to me. The problem was that I was now put in a place where I could never speak the truth.” Shaking his head, he sighed. “It was a mistake to keep my silence.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” Alexi soothed squeezing his hand gently. “You did the best you could.”

“Sherry played me, Alexi. I discovered it when Shane was five years old.”

“Your son’s name is Shane?” Alexi asked. When he nodded in agreement, Alexi grinned. “That’s a handsome name.”

“It is. He was a handsome little thing, too. I couldn’t stop watching him when he was sleeping.” Smiling at the memory, he put his glass of wine on the table and took Alexi’s hand. Spreading the slender fingers on the table, he pointed to a spot just before the end of Alexi’s baby finger. “His hands were this small, it seemed unbelievable.”

Alexi laughed and shook his head. “You were in love with your baby, Joshua.”

“It wasn’t very hard.”

Alexi nodded in understanding. “What happened when Shane turned five?”

“He got sick. He was so sick I was scared we might lose him. Things were a chaos with Sherry. I couldn’t love her how she wanted. We were fighting all the time. I was struggling just being around her. Our relationship was beyond repair at that point. You can imagine adding on a sick child in hospital.”

“What was wrong with Shane?”

“He was anemic, and needed blood transfusions. His doctor had us, Sherry and I, donate blood to help. That was when I discovered Shane wasn’t mine.”

“What?” Alexi asked his brown eyes wide in shock.

“My blood didn’t match his. Sherry had lied to me.” Old pain washed over him at the memory of watching Shane hooked up to a machine while the doctor told him that he wasn’t the father. “She told me she’d thought I was going to make a good father for Shane. I didn’t disappoint her, Alexi. I loved,” he readjusted that after a moment, “I love Shane. Not being his biological father didn’t mean I wasn’t his father.”

“Where is Shane now?”

“He is with his mother and biological father. I haven’t seen him for four years. She cut me off when I decided enough was enough. That was when I told everyone I was gay. Sherry was furious, my mother wanted to kill me. My sisters thought I was abandoning Shane. I lost everything. I moved out of that house. We got a divorce and Sherry got full custody of Shane. To make matters worse, Shane’s real father decided he wanted a larger role in his son’s life. Sherry agreed to it without any protest. That’s when I moved into this townhouse.”

“What of Shane?” Alexi asked with concern. “What did you tell him?”

“I tried to see him once after the divorce was finalized. Sherry tried to have me arrested for talking to him. She’d told him I wasn’t his father and that I was a terrible man who couldn’t be trusted. I couldn’t take those words coming from him. I got unhinged, screamed at her, called her a few choice words. It didn’t help my case with the judge and I lost the right to be Shane’s father.”

“I hate her.” Alexi announced firmly. “She’s a bitch.”

“She had reason-

“She had no right.” Alexi snapped angrily. “She tricked you first, and then she had the audacity to take away Shane. Joshua, you have to stand up for yourself. I know someone who can fix this.”

Joshua couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out at Alexi’s anger. He rarely talked dredged up that part of his life. It hurt too much. He’d started a trust fund for Shane to help him when he got to college. It was a small thing compared to being a father to him. Watching Alexi so furious, he felt the weight of old pains alleviate.

“What do you mean ‘someone’, Alexi?” Joshua asked when he stopped chuckling. “I hope you don’t mean a hit?”

“That can be arranged too.” Alexi sipped his wine and shook his head. “What she did to you is cruel.”

“She was angry that I couldn’t love her. She’ll vote against same sex marriages in the elections if she thinks it’s going to hurt me in any way. That’s how much she hates me now.”

“What a vindictive bitch.” Alexi sighed and placed his glass on the table. He shook his head in anger and Joshua nodded in approval. His heart was flying happily, threatening to soar to heights he couldn’t understand. All because of Alexi’s anger toward a woman, he didn’t even know. “I’ve never understood how people can be so cruel.”

“It happens.” Joshua moved his empty plate of food away and leaned on the table. “You find a way to survive and move on with your life. The hurt might not always disappear, but it gets better.”

“You miss Shane.” Alexi stated his gaze narrowed.

“I do. Sherry takes him to see my mother in the summer. Mom takes pictures for me and puts them in a scrapbook. It’s enough for now. I at least know he’s fine.”

Alexi leaned on the table moving his plate aside too. Joshua could help the frown when he saw that Alexi hadn’t finished his food. The younger man didn’t eat as much as he should. Glancing up, he blinked when his gaze collided with curious brown eyes.

“What?” he asked.

“You’re a very strong person.” The words were a statement. Alexi was frowning as though in deep thought as he studied him. “You remind me of Lily.”

“Lily?” Joshua shuddered. “She’s very focused that one. I think you might be setting me up for a fall there.”

“I am sure. It comes from the way you face things.” A shadow fell over those brown eyes and he wondered what caused that look. He didn’t have to wait long. “I used to get that same feeling from someone I know.”

“Who is this someone?”

”It doesn’t matter.” The shadow disappeared and bright eyes blinked at him. “What’s for dessert?”

Joshua couldn’t resist the pull to kiss Alexi any longer. He’d been wondering too long he decided. Standing up, he leaned closer to Alexi, and pressed his lips to sweet soft ones. Eyes closed, he tasted the spices of the marinade he’d used when he invaded Alexi’s mouth. The full-bodied flavor of the red wine they’d drank. Alexi moaned, his hand coming up to touch Joshua’s jaw. The slender fingers on his jaw made him smile. Pulling back, he drank in the closed eyes and pressed a soft kiss on parted lips before he took his seat.

Alexi looked stunned. He sat motionless while Joshua sipped at his wine with a small smile. “In case that wasn’t clear enough, I like you, Alexi. I want to get to know you better; enough to do more than stun you with a kiss.”

Alexi cleared his throat, a blush creeping up to his cheeks. “I-I- uh- I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I know.” Joshua stood up and started clearing up the table. “I’ll get you dessert. I know you’re partial to strawberries. I bought very lovely ones earlier from the grocery store. We can share them.”

*************

It was an evening he couldn’t define. He walked beside Joshua in the balmy night, talking about the ten o’clock performance they’d just attended at 55 Bar. It had been loads of fun. Joshua was an infectious jazz enthusiast. The positive energy at the bar had been hard to ignore. His hand held securely in Joshua’s as they walked, he found he didn’t want this night to end.

Lifting his right hand up, he touched his index finger to his lips. The kiss in Joshua’s dining room engraved in his memory. His body responded to the memory, heat raced through him as if he was in the sweltering desert. This raw clawing need for another person was new to him.

“I need to get you home.” Joshua murmured beside him and he glanced up to find Joshua hailing a cab. “I don’t want to let you go, but it’s one o’clock. We both have work in the morning.”

Alexi felt it too, his gaze falling to their clasped hands. A strange pull had him holding on tightly. He didn’t want to let go of the strong hand holding his. It was a frightening feeling. He tried to let go, but Joshua refused to release his hand. Electric blue eyes captured his gaze when he looked up into Joshua’s face. He bit his lip.

“I had a good time.” He managed after a moment. “The jazz club was amazing.”

“We can go back any time.” Joshua promised. “Are you free tomorrow?” When Alexi frowned, he smiled. “You’ll call me to confirm.”

Alexi nodded in agreement. “That would be better.”

Joshua kissed him. This time, Alexi was ready for the mind-blowing sensation of those sensual lips moving against his. He held back a moan when Joshua invaded his mouth, Joshua’s free hand sinking into his hair to pull him closer. The cab stopped at the curb and the driver honked breaking them apart. Alexi gasped softly fearing he might melt onto the pavement.

“Goodnight, Alexi. Sweet dreams.”

Joshua let go of his hand and he murmured lamely. “Good night.”

Fearing that he might cling to Joshua’s light coat and beg him to come home with him had him rushing into the waiting cab. A single dinner had tilted his world into new polar dimensions.

*********

Lily woke up on Tuesday feeling apprehensive. Alexi was up, working at his piano writing music feverishly. Obviously, the creativity gods were smiling on him and he was hard at work.

Pouring herself coffee, she was going to toast a slice of bread when her phone rang. Answering it, she froze when Alexi’s mother greeted her.

“Morning, Lily.”

“Mrs. Kotaru.” She hurried to the kitchen door to look into the living room. Alexi was still at the piano. Abandoning her toast, she hurried for the pantry. “Good morning.”

“I’m glad you’re awake. I timed my call just right.” Allegra Kotaru sounded as regal as always. Lily tried to stay on her good side. The woman was a dangerous mix of lethal and sweet especially when it came to her sons. “How is Alexi doing?”

“He is fine, working hard.” Lily answered making sure to close the pantry door. She leaned on a shelf and held in her breath.

“That’s good. Remind him to call his father,” Allegra said quietly. “Now, I called because Alexi’s accountant informed me there were issues with his financials. Ms. Mikado, I trust you with my son’s affairs. I’d hate to think that trust has been misplaced.”

“It hasn’t. I’m meeting with the accountant so that I can understand what the problem is. I have-

“The family lawyer will meet you and the accountant. I want this solved. Understand one thing, Ms. Mikado. If you have violated any of our agreements, I will have no qualms destroying your career.”

Closing her eyes, the thought of Allegra Kotaru on a warpath against her was terrifying. “I understand, Madam.”

“Good. Let’s keep this conversation between us for now. Take care of Alexi for me.”

The line went dead and Lily sighed sliding to the floor. She was going to need a caffeine IV to get through the day. Dealing with the Kotaru lawyer was a kin to fighting a war. He was sharp, determined and he scared her. She let out a tired sigh. Trust was a fickle thing. Hers was on the balance if she couldn’t find out what was happening with Alexi’s card.

The pantry door opened and the sight of Alexi standing there in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt had her smiling. He looked wired, excitement brightening his brown eyes.

“Is this a new thing?” he asked reaching for a box of coco puffs.

“It could be. I’m communing with the pantry gods. Do you want to join me?”

Alexi sat next to her, opening the box of cereal, he grabbed a handful and tossed it into his mouth. “Joshua kissed me.”

She smiled. She’d been expecting that, Joshua was fast. “Did you like it?”

He held out the box to her. “Like is a small word to describe it. Kisses with Adrian don’t make me feel like that.”

“Date Joshua,” she ordered. She supported anything that would get Alexi past the need to cling to Adrian. This reminded her that she needed to look into Joshua Randolph. “I’m going to be very busy today. You’ll have to fend for yourself.”

“I fend for myself all the time, you just don’t see it.”

“Try not to lose any thing today, and don’t agree to do any more projects.” Shaking her head, she grabbed a handful of coco puffs. “I’m starting to hate New York.”

Alexi chuckled and she looked at him puzzled. “I’m just starting to like it.”

*********

Hello, Hello!! Chapter 8 is here. I think you all should thank my editor for the work he's done on this one. Especially if you think it's really good He poked at me until I got it right, or almost just right, writing always needs work .  Editor Rick is awesome!! On Chilled Red Wine.can be very good. Read More..
And on other news....J & A sittin' on a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g....Thanks for reading, I look forward to your reviews.