Electric Blue and Catnip - 23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Alexi woke up alone in bed the next morning. He turned to his left searching for Joshua only to find a note on the pillow. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up and read the note.

“Went for a meeting with the dean, I’ll be back soon, Love you. – J”

He smiled, got out of bed and walked to the desk by the window. Opening the top drawer, he reached for a diary he kept there and slipped the note between the pages. A picture fell out and he grabbed it before it hit the floor. He’d forgotten that picture of him and Adrian lying in bed together. Placing the diary on the top of the desk, he studied the picture.

He remembered the morning Adrian had taken it. They’d just returned from visiting his grandparents in Montauk. Nonna Marion had been especially mean to Adrian and he’d spent the night making it up to Adrian. He shook his head marveling at how besotted with Adrian he looked in the picture. Those days, Adrian had walked on water; and Alexi couldn’t hear anything wrong about him. He’d hated how his grandparents had treated Adrian. Now that he knew whom Adrian was, their reaction toward Adrian made sense.

Funny, there was no pain stabbing in his heart now, no sense of betrayal. He and Adrian, what they’d had together, he smiled placing the picture beside the diary, what they’d had together was a shadow, an imitation of what love should be.

He picked up his diary and arranged the dozen other recent notes from Joshua. He’d started keeping the notes in his diary not wanting to throw them out. Closing the diary, he returned it into the drawer and stood for a moment staring at the picture on the desk. He would never regret his time with Adrian, he decided, but it was time to let him go.

Thirty minutes later, showered and dressed, he walked into the kitchen to find Lily leaning on the counter sipping coffee while she went through her Blackberry. He smiled at the familiar sight; he’d missed having her around.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she greeted.

He hugged her and pressed a kiss on her soft cheek. “I didn’t see you at all yesterday. Hanging with Taka?”

She rubbed his back and chuckled. “Yes.”

Alexi laughed and stepped back. “I’m glad.” He poured himself coffee, frowning when he saw it was almost eleven on the microwave clock. “Wow, is it really that late?”

“Josh said to let you rest. He also told me you were drunk last night and Phillip had to bring you home.”

Alexi took his coffee and leaned on the counter beside Lily and she put her Blackberry in her jeans pocket.

“Josh is meeting your mom today.”

“Yeah,” Alexi sipped his coffee to stop the shiver that ran down his back. “I got drunk last night just thinking about it.”

“He’ll be fine,” Lily soothed. “Nonna Marion didn’t have a problem and your grandfather treated Joshua like a grandson. I’m very sure; he’ll charm your mom and dad.”

“I love your confidence,” Alexi said with a wary expression.

Lily smiled and bumped his shoulder gently. “Alexi you worry too much. Let’s change the subject. I cleared with Silver Studios; they’ll pick up the keys to the penthouse at the front desk tomorrow afternoon. Since our stay is over, we’ll need to pack. I’ve ordered moving boxes that will arrive this afternoon. It’s time to pack.”

Alexi sighed. “I don’t want to do that now. Can’t we wait for Thursday?”

“You’ve accumulated stuff this summer, Alexi.” Lily put her mug on the counter and waved a hand around the homey kitchen. “There are things to ship, others to throw away or give away, you know the drill.”

Packing was so final, it made Friday so much closer, he wished he could extend time.

“Lily,” he started.

“I know how you feel,” she said touching his arm. “Let’s get started after you’re back from your lunch.”

She gave him a small assuring smile and he nodded. Pushing off the counter, she stretched her arms above her head. “I have an appointment with a friend,” she said mysteriously. “Will you be meeting Josh or is he coming here?”

Alexi glanced at the time.

“He might have to meet me.” Remembering the photograph on his desk in the bedroom, he frowned. “Lily, will you do me a favor….”

****

Alexi held Joshua’s hand tight as they took the elevator upstairs to his parent’s suite. He was glad they weren’t meeting in a restaurant. This was too important for that, his heart pounded a mile a minute in his chest. Joshua squeezed his fingers and he lifted his head to find blue eyes watching him.

“I’m the one who should be nervous.” Joshua teased with a crooked smile. The sight of it calmed him, his nerves settled, although they didn’t disappear. He held Joshua’s hand with both of his.

“I just want mom to like you,” he said with a weak smile. “I want her to see how happy you make me.”

“Maybe she’ll see how happy you make me,” Joshua countered touching his jaw with a gentle finger. The elevator stopped and they walked down the hallway to his parent’s suite. Joshua stopped him before he knocked and pulled him into a tight hug. “Stop worrying,” he said.

Alexi bunched his fingers into Joshua’s shirt and breathed in his scent. Gods, he loved how Joshua smelled, like a fresh breeze by the beach, on a summer day. His nerves settled and he held on to Joshua a little longer, not wanting to give up their closeness.

Joshua pressed a kiss on top of his head and stepped back. Alexi knocked on the door and the young woman from the day before opened. She gave them both a warm smile of welcome and pointed to the living room.

His mother stood by the windows, speaking quietly into her phone. His father’s assistant sat on the couch going through documents on the coffee table and typing into her laptop. Allegra ended her call the moment she saw them.

“Alexi, my darling,” she said crossing the room to hug him.

His father’s assistant stood and gathered her documents and laptop. With a short bow, she left the room quickly.

“You’re looking handsome.” Allegra praised kissing his cheek. She stepped back, and retaining his hand, she turned to Joshua with an expectant gaze. “And this must be Joshua.”

Alexi smiled. “Mom, Joshua Randolph, my boyfriend. Josh, this is my mom, Allegra Kotaru.”

Joshua held out his hand and Allegra took it with a slight smile. “Nice to meet you, Josh, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“It’s good to meet you too, Mrs. Kotaru,” Joshua said.

“Call me, Allegra. Come sit with me while Helena takes care of lunch.” Allegra led Alexi to the couch and watched as Joshua settled in an armchair to her right. “I met up with your grandmother this morning.”

“How is she?” Alexi asked.

“Stubborn,” Allegra commented with a small laugh. “I got an earful for missing the fourth of July. I told her I was meeting you for lunch today and she had nothing but good things to say about Joshua. Speaking of which,” Allegra shifted on the couch so that she was looking at Joshua. “Thank you for looking after Alexi while he was in New York.”

Joshua met his gaze and gave him a small smile. “We looked after each other.”

“You’re a professor at NYU.” Allegra stated. “Has the school year started yet?”

“Not yet,” Joshua replied.

“I imagine once it does, it will keep you very busy until the holidays.” Allegra tightened her hold on Alexi’s hand when he started to pull it away. “Won’t that be in December?”

“Yes it will, but I’m sure I can get a few days in between to get away to visit Alexi on tour.”

Allegra frowned. “Alexi’s tours are grueling. He has no time to visit with his family and we’re in Japan. You’ll end up having very short visits.”

Joshua glanced at Alexi. “I’m sure we’ll manage.”

“Your optimism is admirable.”

“Mom,” Alexi started but the young woman who’d opened the door earlier interrupted by walking in to announce lunch. Pulling his hand out of his mother’s, he stood up and gave her an irritated glare. He wasn’t sure where she was going with this conversation.

“I’m famished.” Allegra announced ignoring his glare as she stood up in a graceful sweep. She was elegant in a slimming royal blue dress that stopped just above her knee. She led the way to dining area, her heels muted by the carpet.

She sat at the head of the table. Alexi scowled when she indicated for Joshua to take a seat on her right, while he took the one on her left. Joshua waited until she sat before he settled in his seat.

“Sit down, Alexi.” Allegra told him as she unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap. She waited until their food was served before she spoke, giving her attention to Joshua.

“My mother says you research eastern literature, currently focused on Japan.”

“Yes, I’ve been researching the Meiji period in Japan, and the major cultural shift forced by the arrival of the western influence. Exploring how the warrior class had to put down their swords and adopt new identities as government officials. I find it interesting that despite the western influences, Japan held on to its traditions, and managed to adopt the parts of Western culture that worked for them.”

“The Meiji Period was a tumultuous time. I’ve been working with students from the Tokyo National University. They’ve created an impressive exhibition at one of their galleries focused on woodblock print on paper influenced by the Meiji period. The Zantam Foundation helped acquire woodblock prints from that period to add to the collection. The exhibition has gotten a wonderful response from the public.”

“I’d love to see that exhibition,” Joshua exclaimed. “I’ve only seen woodblock print once when I went to Kyoto. I bought a few, and I have them hanging in my office. They’re landscapes with gorgeous colors.”

Alexi smiled watching his mother and Joshua get into a discussion about Japanese art. Through the soup, appetizers, and the main meal, Joshua and Allegra covered an astounding array of topics. Joshua shared the same love for history his mother had.

Sipping wine, Alexi sat back in his chair and watched his mother and boyfriend argue about the state of women’s rights in Japan. He wondered if they’d tasted the roasted Amish half-chicken, through the talking. Helena urged the waiters to clear the table and bring dessert.

“Alexi has never been one for history. We’re boring him.” Allegra glanced at him with a wide smile. “Isn’t that right?”

Alexi chuckled and winked at Joshua. “She wishes Phillip and I had grown up loving history like she does.”

Allegra picked up her spoon and took a small bite of the vanilla flavored Jaffa ice cream before her. “Looks like I’ve found someone to talk to,” she said.

Alexi couldn’t help his smile of joy. “Does that mean you approve?”

“Of course,” Allegra turned to Joshua, “but, I have concerns.”

“Mom-

“I want to hear them,” Joshua cut him off with a gentle tone.

Alexi sighed and sat back in his chair barely touching his ice cream.

Allegra gave him a concerned glance before she turned to Joshua. “I’m sure you’re fighting to get tenure at the university. I also understand you’re currently in an access battle for your son?”

“Yes,” Joshua said. “I also love Alexi, Mrs. Kotaru.”

“I can see that but love is rarely enough,” Allegra said. “Things won’t be easy for the two of you in the coming months. I wasn’t kidding when I told you that we barely see Alexi during his tours.”

“We’ll manage,” Alexi said then glaring at his mother’s interference. “I’ll make sure to make time for him when he visits.”

Allegra sighed and put her spoon down. “Alexi, you’re angry with me for stating the obvious. You have to understand, if you don’t talk about it, what you’re facing in the next months could send your relationship up in smoke. Is that what you want?”

“No,” Alexi said in shock.

“Then stop glaring at me.” Allegra took Joshua’s left hand. “Josh, this son of mine gets hurt easily. He doesn’t like to ask for help or talk about the things that worry him. He hasn’t had the best experience when it comes to a long distance relationship, and almost lost his career because of the last one. If you were his mother, and were in my position, wouldn’t you worry seeing another long distance relationship starting?”

Joshua glanced at Alexi for a moment before he answered. “I would worry too.”

Allegra squeezed Joshua’s hand. “That’s all that needs to be said. I’m happy Alexi met a man like you. He’s lucky to have you.”

They finished lunch and returned to the living room. This time Joshua sat beside Allegra while Alexi went to the bathroom. When he returned, he found Phillip and his father had arrived.

“We’ve heard a lot about you, Joshua Randolph. You’ve been with Alexi this summer?” Hideki asked in Japanese. His father rarely spoke English with his family.

“Yes,” Joshua answered in Japanese drawing a proud smile from Alexi. He took a seat across his father drawing his attention. Hideki gave him a quick glance before he turned back to Joshua.

“Do you speak Japanese?” Hideki asked.

“Yes,” Joshua answered in kind. “My accent is a bit off, but I’ve managed to brush up on the language talking to Alexi and Lily.”

Hideki nodded in approval. “Adrian never bothered to learn in the time he visited Alexi. Terrible young man that one. You look like you have a good head on your shoulders.”

“Of course he does,” Allegra spoke before Alexi could jump in. “Joshua is on track for tenure at the New York University. His current research parallels the exhibition our foundation is running at Geidai.”

Hideki accepted a cup of tea from Helena. “Is that so? My wife worked hard on that exhibition. She was in Australia until the last minute trying to acquire a Prince Genji woodblock print. What about your parents?”

“My mother runs a small business, baking. My father passed away when I was very young.” Joshua answered.

Hideki nodded. “That must have been hard on you and your family.”

“We managed,” Joshua replied.

“Good for you, struggle makes a man stronger.” Hideki turned to Alexi with a frown. “I heard you’re seeing Dr. Marshall. Are you ready for your tour?”

Glad the focus was no longer on Joshua, Alexi nodded. “Yes, I’m ready.”

“Important business associates bought tickets to your first concert, they’ll expect a lot.”

“Yes, father. I’ll do my best.” Alexi nodded and looked at his mother.

“Well,” Allegra stood. “How about we let these two escape, I’ve kept them here with me all afternoon. Alexi still has to get packed.”

Alexi got to his feet and urged Joshua to follow suit.

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Kotaru.” Joshua gave him a short bow that had Alexi hiding a laugh when his father returned it.

“Later, Phillip,” Alexi called to his brother.

Allegra walked them out of the suite. “Josh, Hideki can be intimidating. I hope you know he likes you.”

Joshua chuckled. “How could you tell?”

“He spoke to you,” Alexi said.

Allegra laughed and stopped when they got to the elevator. “I’m happy I met you Joshua. I can see why my son is in love with you.”

Joshua glanced at him.

“I can see it in his eyes.” Allegra pulled Alexi against her with her left arm. “He doesn’t want to leave you behind.”

Joshua nodded and smiled at Alexi. “I know.”

“I think you two will work out,” Allegra said in a decisive tone, “but only if you face your truth.”

Alexi kissed her cheek and stepped away from her. “Mom, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

“Look at him, still avoiding the issue,” she said with a shake of her head. “Listen to your mother, my dear.” Pressing the button to call the elevator, she smiled. “Joshua, give me a kiss.”

Joshua kissed her cheek and hugged her. “It was very nice to meet you, Allegra.”

“Likewise,” she said. “Alexi, don’t give Lily a hard time. I’ll call later.”

The elevator doors opened and she waited until they entered and the doors were closing.

****

“Your mom is pretty cool,” Joshua said twenty minutes later when they entered Alexi’s building.

Alexi punched the elevator button and leaned on the wall.

“Do you agree with her?” Alexi asked.

“Alexi I think we need to state our truths, without you threatening to break up with me. I can’t handle losing you,” he said.

The elevator doors opened and they walked in. Joshua watched Alexi slip his security card into a slot in the panel to send the elevator to the penthouse.

Alexi leaned on one side of the elevator while Joshua took the other.

Taking a deep breath, Alexi said, “Fine, this is my truth. I can’t quit my music. I need it, Josh. I also love you, more than anything in the world.”

“I have Shane and my career in New York. My family is here.”

“Japan is my home. My family is there.” Alexi countered meeting his gaze with sad brown eyes.

Divided by an ocean, Joshua thought. His heart clenched tightly as he said quietly, “I love you more than anything in the world.”

The elevator doors opened and Alexi glanced into the front hall and the living room. Moving boxes littered the floor, packing paper and tape supplies. Lily was already hard at work.

Joshua pushed off the wall and held out a hand to Alexi. “Together?”

Alexi took his hand and clenching it tightly, he pushed off the elevator wall and they went to help Lily pack.

****

Wednesday was hard. Lily had a long activity list that included packing up every item he wanted to ship to Osaka. After breakfast, Alexi dragged Joshua into his bedroom not ready to face the reality of his departure yet.

“We should get started.” Joshua said putting the empty boxes Lily had handed him on the bed.

Alexi sighed and perched on his desk looking around the room.

Joshua came over to him and touched his nose. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not ready.” Alexi shook his head picking up books from the corner of the desk. “This is our place, Josh, our corner.”

“We have my house, which is our corner too.” When he shrugged, Joshua sighed and took the books he was holding. “How about this, choose the things you want to keep and we’ll take them to my house. Hmm…you can arrange them however you like.”

Alexi smiled. “What are you saying, Josh?”

“If you weren’t leaving on Friday, we’d have ended up living together.” Joshua tugged his hair. “Having your things at my house will make me feel happy, Alexi. I want you to know that you have a home here with me too.”

Alexi stared at the books Joshua was holding. Home, he thought. He was starting to realize there were many ways to define that word. He liked the idea of coming home to Joshua. Having a place to return to in this city, leaning over, he pressed a kiss on Joshua’s jaw.

“I’d love that very much,” he said.

Three hours later, Lily came in to check their progress and gave a short gasp. Alexi sat on the carpet sorting through books. Joshua lay on his back beside Alexi reading a magazine. The boxes she’d given them to fill were still empty on the bed.

“Are you two actually packing anything?”

Joshua grunted and rolled to his side, propping his head up with his left hand. Alexi sunk fingers into his dark curly hair and played with the strands. He had no energy to pack; it was taking everything he had to pull things apart.

Lily on the other hand, had packed up the study, her room, the guest bedroom, the living room and the kitchen. Boxes stood packed neatly in the hallway, he was afraid to go out there.

“We’re doing our best.” He flashed her a half-smile and put the pile of books next to the ‘take-to-josh’s’ pile.

Lily threw her arms up with impatience and stormed out of his bedroom. Turning to Joshua, Alexi asked, “Do you think we can escape packing? I suddenly feel like eating your mom’s chocolate cookies.”

Joshua laughed and leaned to kiss him. “That sounds great.”

*****

Joshua drove the black Mercedes on loan from Alexi’s family to Staten Island. Alexi sat in the passenger seat watching the passing scenery in silence. Lily hadn’t let them leave the penthouse until they’d packed the things Alexi wanted shipped in his room. Alexi had made her promise to borrow one of the cars the Kotaru family had leased for the duration of their stay.

A small part of Joshua had died when Alexi sealed the last box. Despite his optimism, watching Alexi leave was going to be harder than he could describe.

Alexi shifted in his seat and he snuck a glance at him. Dressed in faded blue jeans, a yellow t-shirt and sneakers, he could easily be a handsome half-Japanese guy living down the street. Joshua imagined him working as a school music teacher in the public school. In that life, they’d have met at the park, fallen in love, moved in together and gotten married in a fabulous ceremony surrounded by family and friends. Alexi would insist on growing herbs on the kitchen windowsill and eating fresh vegetables. He’d work on making Alexi push the boundaries and try out new things. Three years into their blissful happiness, they’d adopt two children, raise them and take family vacations in the summer. They’d be one big happy family.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Alexi interrupted his daydream.

Keeping a steady hand on the steering wheel, Joshua patted Alexi’s knee with a sigh.

“Alternate realities,” he answered quietly.

Alexi chucked and tangled their fingers. “You’re not making sense, Josh.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Joshua soothed turning on to his mother’s street. “We’re here; hope you’re ready to eat. Mom will have cooked.”

****

This time Alexi left the car eager to see Eve again. The anxiety he’d suffered last time was gone, and when Eve opened the front door, he smiled wide and pulled her into a tight hug. She smelled of fresh baked cookies.

“I’m so happy you could make it,” Eve said patting his cheek as she stepped back. She hugged Joshua and urged them into the house. “Come into the kitchen. Alicia’s eating the chocolate cookies faster than I can bake them.”

“I heard that!” Alicia said as they entered the kitchen. “Hi guys.”

Alexi chuckled and pulled her into a hug. She smacked a wet kiss on his right cheek.

“I made Josh drive me here for the cookies,” he teased when she grabbed two from a tray on the counter. “Share,” he insisted.

Alicia broke one in half and handed it to him.

Eve laughed.

“You’re truly part of the family now,” Joshua said sitting on a stool. “Alicia’s not playing nice anymore.”

Alexi grinned and bit into the warm cookie. He rolled his eyes in pleasure, loving the explosion of sweet chocolate in his mouth.

“Josh, how is school?” Eve asked as she checked on a fresh batch of cookies.

Joshua shrugged. “The usual politics in the staff room, curriculum changes, and policy updates, department meetings, same old stuff.”

“He’s been spending his mornings at the university and fielding a million calls.” Alexi leaned on the counter beside Alicia. “He’s very popular these days.”

“That’s Josh,” Eve said with pride. “What about you, Alexi? Are you all packed?”

Alexi finished his cookie and wiped his hands on his jeans. “It’s a work in progress.”

“I can imagine.” Eve removed a tray of cookies from the oven. She placed them on a cooling track and placed her oven mitts on the counter. “We tend to accumulate things even after a few months.”

Thinking of the boxes he’d left in the hallway at the penthouse, Alexi sighed. “You have no idea.”

“I’d hoped you have another week,” Alicia said bumping his shoulder. “We didn’t get to hang out.”

“Me too,” Alexi said leaning into her. “That’s why I wanted to come see you today. I won’t get a chance to get away tomorrow.”

“Well,” Eve clapped her hands. “We should make this a small party. Drink, tell stories, and eat.”

“No alcohol for Alicia,” Joshua declared jumping off the stool to head to the pantry.

“Coffee and juice can count as drinks,” Alicia said tugging on Alexi’s arm.

They sat at the kitchen table. The warmth in Joshua’s family struck Alexi once again. Instead of tiptoeing around his departure, Alicia and Eve teased and told jokes. Speculating on what Joshua was going to do first after he left. Eve made him promise to write her emails and call her on Skype. She wanted to share his tour with friends. Alicia made him promise to send her a kimono. He laughed when they teased him about falling on stage. That moment alone was momentous for him, laughing at the idea of stage fright instead of breaking apart.

He sat back in his chair and looked up to find Joshua watching him with a solemn expression. Yes, beneath it all, was the sad truth, they had one more day together and then they were going to be apart.

*****

Thursday turned into a whirlwind of activity. Joshua left for an unavoidable meeting at the university. Alone in his room, Lily didn’t give Alexi time to wallow in his loneliness. She pushed him to pack his clothes while she handled shipping companies, and flight confirmations. At around ten o’clock, Lily walked into his bedroom with a frown.

“What’s wrong?” he asked folding t-shirts into his suitcase.

Lily sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “About that favor you asked me, he’s here.”

Alexi felt a nervous pang slash through him. He was glad Joshua was at work.

“Adrian is waiting in the living room.”

Alexi moved to the desk by the windows and picked up a white envelope. He hurried out of his bedroom adjusting his t-shirt and pajama pants. The last time he’d seen Adrian, he ran away from him, this time-, he paused at the entrance into the living room. Lily stood at his bedroom door watching him with a worried glance. He gave her a short smile before he headed into the living room.

Adrian stood by the windows his arms folded behind him. He looked better than last time. Dressed in a grey light suit, his hair had grown back, cut stylishly. He’d always thought of Adrian as a cat; no matter the disaster, Adrian landed on his feet.

Alexi stepped into the living room and Adrian turned to look at him.

“Hi Adrian,” he said keeping his tone abrupt. “Thanks for coming.”

“Alexi,” Adrian said with a smile. “You look good, relaxed.”

“Yeah,” Alexi urged him to take a seat on the couch. “How’s business?”

Adrian beamed. “Better, we’ve managed to turn around. I made a few changes and we’re doing great.”

He heard it now. That false tone in Adrian’s voice, he might look fine, but it was a show. Green eyes wouldn’t meet his in a direct gaze, and despite the perfect clothes, Adrian had lost considerable weight. Maybe from stress, not that it mattered. It wasn’t his problem now.

“Adrian,” he said holding out the envelope. “I wanted to return this to you. I took it from one of your albums a couple of years back. Also, Lily found a few things in the guest bedroom that belong to you.”

Adrian took the envelope and opened it. He paused when he found their picture. “This was yours, Alexi. You carried it in your diary.”

“Yes, well,” Alexi shrugged. “It’s time to break away from old habits.”

“Is that all we were?” Adrian asked quietly.

Alexi met sad green eyes and for the first time actually saw Adrian. The Adrian he’d wanted to return to when he’d first come to New York. That lovely young man he’d fallen in love with his first year at Julliard. He’d had some good times with that Adrian. Sadly, somewhere along the ten years they’d known each other that Adrian had disappeared. Leaving behind a stranger, and he’d been too much of a fool to realize the truth.

“Yes,” Alexi answered matching Adrian’s tone.

Adrian held his gaze for a moment longer then he dropped it back to the photo. Returning it into the envelope, he nodded and when he glanced up that familiar Adrian was gone.

“I’m sorry, Alexi.” Adrian slipped the envelope into his jacket pocket. “I regret many things, but most of all, I regret losing your friendship. I know there is no way to get it back-

“We can never get it back,” Alexi cut in and stood up.

Adrian stared at him for a moment before he stood too. “Fine, we can never get it back. I just-, I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

Alexi gave him a curt bow. “If you’ll wait a second, Lily will show you your boxes.”

He left the living room without a backward glance. Lily met him in the corridor, she patted his shoulder and he nodded in assurance. He was fine, better than fine, he thought as he entered his bedroom. Letting go of Adrian had released a weight off his shoulders he hadn’t known he was carrying. From then on, he concentrated on packing up his closet. They finished at around four o’clock in the afternoon. The penthouse was bare, his two suitcases and a carry-on bag stood in the living room and all traces of their summer were gone.

Lily wheeled her own two suitcases from her room. A large handbag slung over her shoulder, she waved her blackberry at him. “The car is waiting downstairs. Are you sure you don’t want me to get you a room at the plaza?”

Alexi shook his head. “I want to spend the night with Josh.”

Lily joined him by the glass windows and they stared out in to the sunny afternoon. “It was a great summer.”

“The best,” Alexi murmured.

Lily tugged his elbow. “Let’s go, Joshua can meet you at the hotel. We’ll have dinner and you two can go where you want. We should be at the airport at six-thirty. The flight home is at eight o’clock in the morning.”

“Why so early?” Alexi complained again.

“You’re forgetting we’ll arrive in Osaka on Saturday. It will give you time to unpack and then on Sunday evening, we’ll be on the way to Tokyo.”

The traveling wouldn’t stop until December, he thought. “You’re the master,” he said with a sigh. “Not tonight though, this is my last night with Josh.”

“I know, you’re off limits, but only after dinner,” Lily said with a smile as she wheeled her suitcases to the elevator. “Come on, let’s go.”

He wheeled his two suitcases after her. Downstairs, she handed over an envelope to the man behind the security desk. The doorman helped them with their bags and after a friendly goodbye, they were in the town car headed to the Plaza Athenee.

Alexi watched as their luggage was taken in to the hotel. He wanted to escape this dinner, and go to Joshua’s place, but Lily held on to his arm and practically dragged him into the hotel, headed for the banquet hall.

Joshua appeared at the entrance looking handsome in blue shirt that matched his eyes and black trousers. His hair combed back; he’d tried to tame the unruly curls. He looked good enough to eat, Alexi’s heart squeezed. Gods, he loved this man.

“Alexi,” Joshua greeted him with a chaste kiss on his jaw. “How was your packing?”

“Hell, I missed you.” He wrapped his arms around Joshua’s waist and hugged him. “Are you sure we can’t skip this dinner?”

“I’m sure,” Joshua said running fingers through Alexi’s hair. “Lily, Alicia and I, we’ve planned this for days. Everyone is waiting.”

“Everyone,” Alexi asked with a frown. Joshua grinned, took his hand and led him into the hall. Loud cheers and claps startled Alexi and he stopped short surprised by the number of people in the elegant room.

“You didn’t think we were going to let you leave without a party, did you?” Joshua asked.

He was stunned. The banquet hall was set up for a party; a buffet table on one side, with smaller tables set around the room. The décor was simple elegant, flowers on the tables. They’d invited his family, of course, Joshua’s family; there was Andy, Georgia and five other staff members from Silver studios, faculty members from the university music department and some of the students who were in the summer program. Waiters moved around serving drinks and Alexi turned to Joshua.

“When did you do this?”

“Let’s just say this week has been busy.” Joshua grinned.

Lily took his elbow and said excitedly. “Lots of people to meet and talk to, sorry Josh, you can have him after eight o’clock.”

The party was boisterous and the food was good. He talked to everyone Lily dragged him to, endured goodbyes and many wishes for a successful tour in Japan. After an hour, Alexi had had enough. This was his last night in New York. He didn’t want to spend it talking to all these people.

Searching the crowd, he wondered where Joshua had disappeared. He dodged Lily by the buffet table and managed to slip out the main doors to the hallway.

Joshua was paced the hallway talking into his cellphone, after a few minutes, he hang up and gave a tired sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Alexi asked closing the distance between them.

“Shane called; he wanted to come to the party.” Joshua put his phone away and slid his hands around him. “I didn’t want to make trouble with Sherry, so I never asked.”

Alexi rubbed away the frown on Joshua’s forehead. “It will get better.”

“Did you eat?” Joshua asked studying him.

“Yeah, and talked, and drank,” Alexi replied.

“Want to go back to the party?”

“No.” Alexi shook his head and held Joshua’s gaze. “I want to spend my last night with you, Joshua Randolph.”

Joshua smiled and pulled him closer. “Me too, Alexi,” he said into his ear.

****

Joshua was happy to have Alexi in his house tonight. He wanted to remember Alexi in his home, have his scent in his sheets for as long as he could. In his bedroom, they stripped with eagerness, littering the carpet with their clothes. They fell on the bed kissing in wild abandon. Soft lights glowed from the lamps in the corners of the room. A ceiling fan whispered above as it turned. Words faded, as Joshua’s lips met Alexi’s in a hungry kiss, savoring, tongues touching and caressing. He felt Alexi’s fingers slip along his waist, caress his hips, his strong thighs and up his back.

Joshua slid loving fingers between Alexi’s legs, his touch drawing a soft breath from Alexi. He took Alexi’s cock, holding him lightly, squeezing imperceptibly, and waves of pleasure coursing through him when Alexi’s fingers raked down his back in reaction. They both trembled. He let go of Alexi and shifted, moving Alexi on his back so that he lay over him.

“I’ll miss you,” he whispered, kissing his way up, Alexi’s torso, nibbling on his flat stomach, each rib, until Alexi squirmed. Alexi sunk fingers into his hair as he came up to kiss the curve of Alexi’s neck. “I’ll miss your heat, kissing you like this.”

“Josh,” Alexi sighed turning his head toward him.

Alexi’s lips parted, his tongue accepting Joshua’s, he tasted the tempting sweetness of red wine clinging to Alexi’s lips. More subtle and addicting was Alexi’s own unique taste. He sank deeper into the kiss taking everything he could. He shifted again, throwing the covers from the bed onto the floor, his mouth never leaving Alexi’s, caging him with his body. He felt Alexi’s erection, thick and hard, pressed tight against his stomach and a needy moan escaped.

He moved his mouth across Alexi’s chin and down his throat, teeth taking small nips on Alexi’s skin, his tongue teasing each sting. He moved lower to Alexi’s chest, his tongue found a nipple and licked, caressed the small, spongy nub, probing the base around and around, it responded by changing, firming. He nibbled on it; Alexi’s breathing deepened, slender fingers tangling in his hair at the back of his head. He sucked the nipple into his mouth. Alexi arched into his mouth, soft sighs growing stronger, and the grip on his hair strengthened slightly. He sucked more until Alexi whimpered, then guided him to the other, then back again.

He slipped his fingertips down Alexi’s stomach to his cock. Alexi parted his legs and gasped when he took him in his hand. He was hard, hot to the touch, swollen with need. Joshua stroked him slowly, making Alexi nip hotly at his neck. With each caress, Alexi’s hips surged into his hand, he ran his thumb over the tip, and Alexi gasped, precum coated his fingers.

He slid down Alexi’s writhing body, fingers and lips tracing soft skin on Alexi’s stomach and along his hips, lightly tickling his nose in silky down, sliding lower, tracing and kissing skin on Alexi’s thighs. Alexi’s breathing heightened in anticipation and his thighs quivered slightly, parting wide, his cock hard and needy pulsed in Joshua’s hand. Alexi gasped in rich pleasure when Joshua touched the tip of his tongue ever so slightly to the tip of his cock. Bathing the tip with his tongue, he felt Alexi’s entire body respond. He traced the head with his tongue, his hand stroking Alexi’s length slowly before he took him deep into his mouth.

He licked, sucked and stroked, bringing Alexi to the edge, and then pulling him away from the brink. He used his mouth to drive Alexi mad with need, savoring the gasps, and breathless pleas for relief, memorizing each one, when he finally allowed it, Alexi came with a shout, his body trembling, and his skin sweat-slicked. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Alexi reached for him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and leaning up to kiss him. Joshua reached for the lube on the dresser and popped the lid open. He poured a generous amount on his hand and coated his own erection generously. He jerked Alexi’s thighs apart, his hands insistent, he pushed the head of his erection against Alexi’s tight opening and stilled holding Alexi’s gaze with his.

He moved, a short thrust that had Alexi biting his lip as he pushed in a little deeper, stretching him. Alexi gasped and he took his hands, laced their fingers and bent over him, pressing Alexi’s hands to the mattress, rocking with another short thrust of his hips, stretching him again as he sank deeper. “Look at me, Alexi, right now. Look at me.”

Brown eyes met his, trapped in their heat, in their lust, their need. Tears filled Alexi’s eyes and he leaned forward and took them with a slow caress of his tongue. His own heart squeezed painfully, not knowing when they would be together like this, again. He rocked his hips, his length driving into Alexi, making them one. The few hours left this night weren’t going to be enough, not ever enough, he thought in panic holding Alexi close. He wasn’t ready to give up the heaven he found with Alexi. Meeting Alexi’s lips in a desperate kiss, he gave himself up to their passion and fire. He set a harsh, demanding rhythm, rocking them both into wild streaks of fire. Alexi’s sleek channel tight, strangling him, pulsing and throbbing, squeezing him as he thrust again and again, hard thrusts that buried him to the hilt.

Alexi raked fingers down Joshua’s back, arching into him. He wrapped his legs around Joshua’s hips and moaned when he felt the caress of Joshua’s cock stroking over a sensitive knot of nerves, the fierce thrusts of Joshua’s hips, the thick cock driving deep into him, burning through him and sending streaks of pleasure through his entire body. Mindless with need, he dropped hot kisses along Joshua’s shoulder, biting the curve of his neck when he drove in hard and sent him sailing into an unmerciful orgasm. A blinding wave of pleasure that travelled through his stomach, down to his toes, he held on to Joshua’s sweat slicked shoulders as they both cried out in pleasure.

Joshua collapsed over him, breathing roughly. Alexi combed gentle fingers through his damp hair.

“What are we going to do apart?” Alexi asked when he could talk.

Joshua nuzzled his neck, kissing the pulse beating rapidly there, he held himself inside Alexi. “We don’t have to think about that for another couple of hours.”

Alexi squirmed under him and he rolled over on to his back holding Alexi against him. He sat up making Alexi wrap his legs around his waist. He traced Alexi’s spine, making him arch into his touch.

“When we’re here like this, there’s nothing to worry about,” Joshua said quietly.

Alexi lay his head on his shoulder and kissed the curve of his neck. “I don’t want to leave you,” Alexi confessed in a whisper. “This whole week has been surreal, you meeting my parents, going to see Eve, facing Adrian. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

Joshua tightened his hold on Alexi with a sigh. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

Alexi shivered. “I’m going to miss walking in the park with you, arguing about nothing.”

“We don’t argue about nothing,” Joshua protested.

Alexi chuckled. “The endless fantasy vs. logic argument, points and ends on the pizza,” he leaned back on Joshua’s lap to meet his gaze. “Should I continue?”

Joshua grinned. “Those are perfectly solid arguments.”

“What are you going to miss?” Alexi asked locking his arms around his neck.

There were so many things; he couldn’t possibly say them all. He glanced into pleading brown eyes and said, “This, us, here together. I’ll miss your cooking for me, listening to you play the piano for me, talking to you…” he trailed off holding Alexi’s gaze. “I’ll miss you.”

Alexi’s eyes filled with tears and he sighed pulling him into his arms. Joshua closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath; he didn’t want to think about six o’clock in the morning. Rocking them both, he cleared his throat. “I love you, Alexi. I love you so much; I don’t remember a day when I didn’t.”

When they kissed again, it was with desperation, they came together with urgency, not ready to give up their closeness just yet. Not even when the sun came up.

*****

Alexi lay on his side, memorizing Joshua’s face. The curve of his eyebrows, his blue eyes, electric blue, he smiled. Like his favorite ice cream, Joshua was his favorite person in the whole world. Those eyes saw deep inside him, saw his heart. He held Joshua’s hand against his chest and sighed. They hadn’t slept, but he wasn’t tired. He didn’t want to miss any minute of laying on this bed with Joshua.

“Don’t forget me,” he murmured.

“Never,” Joshua promised.

Alexi nodded and closed his eyes. The alarm on the bedside table went off and he winced. He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to leave this bed, this world full of love and comfort. Joshua moved then, reaching beyond him to turn off the alarm. He wrapped his arms around Joshua, hugging him tight, and then he pulled away abruptly, got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

He showered in a daze, dressed without allowing a thought in his head. Joshua was in the kitchen when he finished. Carrying his socks into the kitchen, he sat at a chair by the kitchen table and watched Joshua try to pour him coffee. Hands shaking the coffee spilled on the counter, Joshua cursed and Alexi concentrated on wearing his socks and shoes.

When he was done, he stood up and Joshua quit trying to pour coffee. His phone beeped on the table and he ignored it. Joshua braced his hands on the kitchen counter refusing to turn and look at him.

“Josh,” Alexi said quietly.

“It won’t get easier, will it?” Joshua asked in a husky tone.

Alexi closed the distance between them and hugged Joshua from behind. He pressed his face into Joshua’s back. “We’ll see each other soon.”

Joshua nodded and cleared his throat. Alexi’s phone buzzed again prompting Joshua to turn within his embrace. “Time to go, babe,” Joshua said.

Alexi leaned up to kiss Joshua’s jaw, his lips. The doorbell rang and he sighed stepping away from Joshua. Alexi took his phone from the kitchen table, met Joshua’s gaze one last time before he headed for the front door.

“Alexi,” Joshua called when he touched the door handle, he turned just as Joshua reached him. Enveloping him into his arms, Joshua kissed him, and the tears he’d been ruthlessly holding back spilled over. Joshua pushed him against the wall and he remembered the first time they’d made love. All those days ago when everything had been so new, his heart trembling with budding love, now his heart ached, ached with grief. He didn’t want to leave Joshua. He broke the kiss and buried his face in Joshua’s shoulder.

“I love you.” Joshua whispered into his ear.

“I love you.” He managed, aware that if they kept holding each other he wouldn’t leave, he jerked out of Joshua’s arms and pulled the door open. He ran out of the house, past the disgruntled driver, and blindly flung himself into the backseat of the town car.

*****