Second Shot - 16. Chapter 16: Team Unity??

“So, what’s so urgent you have me come in on a Sunday?” Coach Slewman smiled, taking the bite out of his comment.

“I told you it could wait, sir.” Jason’s stomach clenched, he thought he would puke; a common feeling for him lately.

“I know, but if it was important enough for you to email me on a Saturday, I figured I should deal with it ASAP.” He motioned for Jason to sit, as he eased himself into his chair. “So what’s the problem son? The season’s over, so I assume it has to do with something besides playing time.”

Jason took a deep breath, hoping to calm his churning stomach. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically, but he committed himself to dealing with this head on.

“Actually, this has everything to do with the team and my playing next year.” He watched as his coach’s eyes narrowed. “Friday night, I had a run in with a friend from home. Words got exchanged, and then I did something really stupid that is going to affect the team.”

He paused to keep his composure. There was no way he could puke in front of the coach.

“Did it involve the police or alcohol?” the older man asked.

“No sir. Well, I can’t say if Jordan was drinking, but all we had was coffee or tea.”

“We?” Coach interrupted again. “Who is we?”

Jason noted the coach’s concern. Coach was bringing back almost his entire starting lineup for next season. Graydon could be a soccer power for the next two seasons, if Jason didn’t fucked it up.

“Darryl, Wendy, her roommate and my . . . my friend Peter.” He almost said boyfriend, but didn’t.

“Go on.” Coach Slewman no longer looked at ease with the conversation.

“Peter and I went to the bathroom to take a leak. He finished first and left to join Darryl and the girls. When I got outside, my friend Jordan called Peter a faggot then tried to punch him. That was a mistake on Jordan’s part because Peter is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Peter easily avoided the punch by doing some move to subdue Jordan. He released Jordan’s arm telling him not to do it again or else.”

That was the easy part, he thought. He could feel himself loosing it and began to breathe heavily to control his emotions.

“So far nothing wrong happened,” the coach said quietly. Jason couldn’t tell if he was uneasy listening to his player’s problem or felt sorry for him.

“I told Peter to walk away so I could try to talk Jordan down. Darryl was screaming at him, they never liked each other much, despite how often we used to hang out. Jordan was mad we were defending Peter. Evidently, he thought it was okay to verbally abuse Peter because he is gay. Finally, after we kept defending Peter and yelling at him, he asked me and Darryl if we were gay.”

Jason almost lost it again.

“I said yes.” His voice cracked, but he got it out. Tapping the seat of his chair, he kept his head down so he didn’t have to see his coach’s reaction.

“Jason, look at me.”

Slowly, he did as he was told. Although he didn’t look happy, neither did his coach appear angry.

“Is that it?”

“Yes, but not really,” Jason said.

“Remember I'm old and stupid, you need to explain that to me.” The man smiled.

Jason drew some comfort from the small gesture of compassion. “Jordan's going to make sure the entire campus knows I'm gay. Most probably know by now.”

“I see.” Coach Slewman made a face that confirmed Jason’s fears. This was not good. “Is what he's saying true?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Is Peter your boyfriend?” The last word came out softly.

Jason nodded. “Yes, sir.” He looked away again.

“Look at me, Jason,” his coach directed. “You don’t need to be ashamed in front of me, so stop looking away as if you did something wrong.”

Jason felt marginally better, at least the content of his stomach wasn’t trying to come up his throat anymore.

“But I'm sure you didn’t ask to see me just to tell me you . . . that.” Despite his encouraging words, Jason could see his coach had difficulty saying the word gay.

“Don’t worry Coach, I have trouble saying it too.” He laughed getting a smile from the older man. Taking another deep breath he continued, “I wanted to tell you myself, so you didn’t hear it from somewhere else and to let you know I'll quit the team, if you think I should.”

“What?” Now he was upset. “Why would you even think I want you to quit?”

“Well . . . I mean . . . when you made me co-captain you talked about team chemistry,” he finally got out. Watching for any reaction from his coach he added. “I don’t want to destroy the team, if they don’t want to play with me.”

“And you suspect they won’t.” Coach Slewman nodded. “I think you're wrong, but I understand your point.”

“When Myers was trying to insult me he insinuated I was gay. Calling someone gay is still thought to be the worst insult you can throw at a jock.” When he got a skeptical look he quickly added, “Apparently.”

“Myers is a jerk. But don’t repeat that please.”

“I won’t repeat it, but I’ve said the same thing before.” Jason forced out a chuckle, but even to his ears, it fell flat.

“I don’t want you to quit, Jason.” Using someone’s first name was rare for the coach. The fact he kept using his was not lost on Jason. “And you're still my captain for next year.”

“Thanks, Coach.” Hearing his coach say he was still wanted made him feel better, but he knew it wasn’t over. “But . . . .”

“Why is there always a ‘but’ with you kids?” he snarled. “What?”

“I need to hear it from the team.” He looked down to avoid his coach.

Coach Slewman’s eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. “This is my team, not yours, or theirs.”

“I know sir,” Jason worked hard to not lose his nerve. “B--” He caught himself saying, ‘but’ again. “I want to be sure I don’t destroy our team unity. I would rather quit than ruin what we have.”

“Did you hear what you said?” He jabbed a finger at Jason. “You said, ‘our team,’ and ‘what we have.’ This is your team too.”

Jason always thought he was part of the team. He loved playing with this group. Even though the season ended, he was already stoked for next year. He could see the progress they had made, especially once he and Darryl made the starting lineup. Next year could be great and he desperately wanted to be part of it.

“I always thought I was part of the team.”

“Thought? Past tense?” He leaned over his desk. “If you still don’t feel a part of the team, why do you care if it falls to shit?”

“I . . . don't. . . I mean I am on the team, so I care.”

The coach leaned back in his chair smiling. “I know you do, Jason. It’s why you are my captain.”

“What if most of the guys don’t want to play with . . . a fag.” He saw the man wince at the word.

“Don’t ever use that word in my presence again! Even to refer to yourself. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Have you asked your teammates?” he asked.

“Just Darryl, and he doesn’t care that I'm gay.”

“If you said he did, I would know you were lying.” The coach laughed.

Again the two didn’t speak. Jason wondered if he made a huge mistake suggesting the team should decide. Coach Slewman didn’t care, so he was golden, right?

“I can see the benefit to you addressing this with the team,” the man said finally. “We can gauge their reaction, but I get the final word.”

“Always, Coach.” Jason smirked.

“Smart ass kid.” The coach laughed. “I'll call a team meeting tomorrow. You can address them and so will I. After that we can see what happens.”

“Sorry coach.” Jason felt bad dropping this on him. “I know I'm causing problems you don’t need.”

“Problems are a part of the job as well as life,” he replied. “I won’t lie, I wish we didn’t have to have this conversation. It takes guts, however, to stand up for someone you care about, even when it causes you pain. Just as it takes guts to confront your problems head on rather than hope they go away. I'm not surprised this is the way you chose to deal with this. You have never tried to get out of things you don’t like. Much to the annoyance of some of your teammates who hoped I would forget, you're the first person to do laps.”

“You never forget, Coach,” Jason joked to hide his embarrassment at the coach’s comments.

“No, I don’t, so don’t ever think I will.” He punctuated his remarks with a crisp nod. “My point is, addressing the team now is not the tact I would have thought of first, but it does have some merit. If there is an issue, doing this now will give us, me, time to deal with it before it hurts the team.”

“Sorry for dropping this on you, sir.”

“Jason.” Walking around the desk, his coach surprised Jason by taking the seat next to him. “There is nothing to be sorry about. You are who you are. My sister’s kid is gay. Great kid; smart, funny, polite, athletic, you name it. He and my sons are thick as thieves whenever they get together. My point is, I don’t care that he's gay, he is still family. You're part of my team, so that makes you part of this family.”

An enormous sense of relief washed over him. “Thanks Coach. That makes me feel better.”

Standing back up, he rubbed Jason’s head. “Go home, get some sleep. You look spent. I'll call the meeting tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.” Jason stopped in the doorway. “Thank you. For listening, for not asking me to leave, and for letting me know, well, what you told me.”

“You’re welcome.” He nodded curtly. “Just don’t let the team know I'm not always the grumpy fat old man who growls at them.

“Are you sure you trust me with your secret? After the way I outed myself, it is clear I'm not so good at keeping important things quiet.” He raised his eyebrow before smiling.

“Go home, Tellerman.” Coach Slewman barked, reverting back to using his last name.

“Yes, sir.” Jason laughed, and practically ran out of the field house. Maybe everything would turn out fine, he thought. The image of him telling his teammates quashed his happy mood.

He shook his head. “Yeah right.”

*******

The walk from Darryl’s car to the field house felt longer than usual. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he swore some of his teammates glared at him. Darryl came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders.

“Stop worrying, Jase. Things will be fine.”

“Then why does everyone look at me like I have the plague?”

“You're imagining things.” Darryl didn’t seem concerned.

“Thanks for the support. It helps more than you know.” He forced himself to smile even though his stomach was revolting again. “You didn’t bring a barf bag did you?”

“Ha, no.” Darryl pushed him from behind. “And you don’t need one. I keep telling you not to worry dude. You’re cool.”

Jason wished he had Darryl’s confidence. He couldn’t shake the image of Myers tossing insults at him on the bus. He could imagine half the guys saying the same thing. Hell, even if they didn’t insult him, they would avoid him.

Was that so bad? It wasn’t like he was best friends with more than a couple of the guys. Darryl was still his bro, what did it matter if the others didn’t like him anymore? Besides, he had Peter, too. As long as he didn’t hurt the team, he decided, he wouldn’t care.

“You ready for this?” Darryl’s voice broke though his concentration.

“Fuck no. I feel like I'm going to be sick.” He laughed, pretending not to be serious.

“You always get that way when you deal with big things. Just relax and say what you planned.”

Coach Slewman and the assistants were already in the meeting room, along with most of his teammates. Coach pointed for them to stay up front with him, where the team captains always stood during meetings.

Standing in front of everyone, he noticed a few of his teammates wouldn’t look at him. This time he wasn’t imagining things; they were deliberately avoiding eye contact. At least no one glared at him. That was good right?

After two uncomfortable minutes, the last players showed up. Someone shut the door.

“Sorry to drag you all in on a Monday night, but a situation has come up we need to deal with as a team.”

Half a dozen guys looked at Jason as the coach spoke. Jordan had been hard at work spreading the news, so it didn’t surprise him his teammates knew.

“Jason.” When Coach Slewman stepped back, it took all Jason’s inner strength to push himself off the wall. Every eye in the room focused on him. Even those whose ‘knew’ wanted to hear him say it.

“Sorry guys, but I'm the reason you're here,” he began. “Look, there is no easy way to say this so I'm just going to get to the point. I know some, if not most of you, have heard the rumor my friend, ex-friend, Jordan Colmar is spreading about me. I can see it in the way some of you are looking at me.

“To answer your question, it’s true.” He needed to say it. “I'm gay.”

He saw shock in a few eyes, but not many. As he suspected, most already heard.

“Personally I'm dealing with this, but more important is how the team deals with it.” He stuck to the points he wanted to make, otherwise he wasn’t sure he would say everything. “I've played long enough to know ‘gay’ and ‘jock’ are not exactly words that get put together too often. With the core of players we have coming back, we have a chance to make a run next year and the year after that. I don’t want to be the reason we don’t reach our full potential. If my being gay is a problem, you need to let me and Coach Slewman know.

“Before I leave, so you can talk about me behind my back, let me just say a few things.” Getting past the hard part, Jason relaxed slightly. “Having you pick me as co-captain was awesome. I'm honored you trust me with helping the team succeed. A part of me feels I betrayed that trust hiding this from you, but unless you live it, you have no idea how hard it is to let people know.

“Playing with this team, our team, means everything to me. I love playing and the last ten games showed what we are capable of when we work together. That potential excites me, it motivates me to get better. I want to be a part of that. But I know we're special only if we're unified. One wrinkle can ruin everything we want to achieve. If you think I'm that distraction, I need to know.”

He wanted to say he would leave the team, but he could feel Coach Slewman moving around behind him.

“I'm sorry for dropping this on you guys; I didn’t plan it to be this way.” He scanned the room hoping for some positive signs, but he couldn’t read much from their faces. “That’s all. I’ll wait outside while you guys talk about it.”

Coach Slewman put a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, Jason. I’ll be out in a minute.”

The older man followed Jason out, then shut the door.

“That took guts.” He pointed toward the door. “One of the reasons you selected him as your captain is because he does the right thing. Just as he did today. You've seen him play, there's no quit in him. He loves the game and this team.”

The large man paced in front of the young men seated before him. “I was really pleased to see you guys recognize his leadership ability when you voted him to be your co-captain. It was the right choice then and it's still the right choice.

“I'm not going to sit in on your discussions; that was Jason’s wish. Over my objection, he said you should have the chance to discuss this freely. I reminded him, as I remind each of you, this is my team and I make the decisions. Believe it or not, he insisted anyway.”

That drew a laugh. Everyone knew you didn’t argue with Coach Slewman where team decisions were concerned.

“Since this is still my team, I get the first, AND last word. I want Jason on this team. He belongs here. I don’t care if he is gay and neither should you.

“Forget that he's our best striker, he is putting the team ahead of himself, even if it means he won’t be a part of it anymore. That is team first; it’s leadership. I want you to keep that in mind when you discuss this.”

“Minger,” The older man turned around. “Let us know when you're done.”

Coach Slewman motioned with his head and the assistants followed him out of the room.

“Will do, Coach.” Darryl waited for the door to close before turning back to his teammates.

“I guess I’ll start.” He drew a deep breathe. “You guys know Jase and I are tight. We've been friends since we were kids. He was my best friend before I found out he is gay, and he’s still my best friend now that I know.”

Darryl stood with his back against the wall. “Most of you think I'm biased; that’s because I am. He’s the reason I play soccer. I want you to hear why I’ll support him to the end.

“When I was ten, my family moved down here from New Jersey. I was mad leaving my friends and madder still that I looked so different from the rest of the neighborhood. That lasted one day. The next day, Jason knocks on my door and wants to know if I want to come play soccer with him. Hell, he barely knew me, but there he was, asking this strange kid with no friends to come with him to practice. I still remember his mom’s face when I showed up at their house. Jason? He didn’t think I was different, he just thought I could use a friend and something fun to do. That was my first time on a soccer field. I quickly fell in love with the game.

“When we were thirteen, me, Jason and four of our friends were leaving a mall. These three white kids, they might have been a little older than us, I don’t know. They started calling me a . . . the ‘N’ word. When I didn’t back down, it was clear there was going to be a fight. I figured I was okay, there were six of us and three of them; my boys had my back. Well, no they didn’t.

“Only Jason stood with me.” Darryl gulped twice before he could continue. “He got a black eye, bloody nose and busted lip, but he never left me alone. Every time they knocked him down he would get back up to watch my back. It wasn’t even his fuckin’ fight, but he wouldn’t leave me unlike my other so called friends.”

Darryl wiped his eyes and swallowed hard again. “He is the truest friend you could ever have. He has every one of your backs every day, every game. You know it’s true. I don’t care he is gay, just like he never cared I'm black.”

“You’re black?” Someone joked. Everyone laughed, breaking the tension.

“That’s what it says on my license.” Darryl took a deep breath before he continued. “If he isn’t on this team, neither am I.”

A murmur erupted from the group, forcing Darryl to hold up his hands and talk louder. “If he doesn’t play on this team, I won’t either. If he isn’t co-captain, neither am I. If you tell him he isn't wanted because he is gay, then I'm not wanted either. He always had my back when it mattered most, now I have his.

“That’s all I have to say. Someone let me know what happens.” Darryl moved for the door.

“Where are you going?” Matt Hopkins asked.

“I won’t be able to listen to anyone talk trash about Jason and not resent that person. He wanted you to be able to speak freely. You can’t do that with me here.”

“I ain’t gonna talk trash about him,” Matt replied. “It’s a no brainer, he stays.”

Eric Nesmith stood up. “Why's this even an issue? Jason is our co-captain. Nothing’s changed.”

Darryl scanned the faces in the crowd. “Thanks guys, but a few of our teammates may think otherwise.”

Darryl turned back to the door.

“Let’s vote.” A voice called out. Other voices joined the first calling for a vote.

“Fine,” Darryl took his hand off the knob. “If that is what all of you want, but it has to be unanimous.” When no one raised an objection, he asked, “All those who say Jason stays on the team and is our captain?”

Jason grabbed a basketball from a rack before entering the basketball court. Pick up basketball was another forbidden activity. There were a couple games in progress and a group of three guys waiting for the next game. A court sat empty beside the waiting trio.

Dribbling at first, he began shooting when he was warmed up. Having played in high school, Jason was a decent player, if a tad rusty. After making a slew of jumpers, one of the three guys walked over.

“We need a fourth,” he said. “You wanna play?

Jason looked at him blankly for a second. His dark brown hair reminded him of Peter even if he was a few inches shorter and a bit bigger.

“Tellerman.” Coach Slewman’s voice made him turn around. “Don’t tell me you are even thinking of playing.”

“Hedging my bets in case the vote goes against me, sir.”

“Don’t get cute with me. They aren’t voting you off the team. Put the ball down, you can’t play.”

The older man walked away still shaking his head.

“Sorry man.” He though he saw a hint of recognition in the guy’s eye, but didn’t look long enough to be sure.

“No problem.” He walked back to his friends.

Dribbling and shooting, Jason could see the three talking about him. Jordan must have done a hell of a job outing him, if these guys knew who he was just by the coach calling out his last name.

His shooting improved the more he shot, but he still missed a few. One of his misses bounced toward the three waiting to play. Running toward the ball he said, “Little help.”

The guy who asked him to play picked up the ball, walking it over.

“You sure you can’t play?” he asked. “You shoot pretty well.”

“Sorry, Coach is still in the building.” Jason nodded toward the coach’s area. “He will fry my ass if he catches me doing more than shoot around.”

“Did you play for Darrington Prep?” he asked.

Shocked by the question, Jason nodded, confused. “Yeah, why?”

“I played at Bishop O’Malley. Thought you looked familiar. Jason, right?”

“Yeah.” More surprised the guy knew his name, he said, “sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

“We never really met.” He finally handed him back the ball. “But your name is all over campus today.”

Smacking the ball with his left hand he nodded on. “Great.” He turned back toward the net he was using. “Thank you, Jordan.”

“It’s Mike, not Jordan.”

“What?” Jason turned around.

“My name; it’s Mike, not Jordan.”

“Sorry, Mike, I was thanking my ex-friend, Jordan, the guy who's telling the entire campus I'm gay, for outing me.” Jason felt more anger than he had up until now. Shaking the ball he said, “thanks for the help.”

“Jordan sounds like a dick,” Mike said quickly.

“Yeah, he really does.”

“My older brother is gay,” Mike blurted out. “I would hate for someone to have done this to him.”

Jason gave him a rueful smile. “You’re a good brother then because it sucks pretty majorly when your so-called friend outs you to the world.”

Jason tossed up another shot that clanked off the rim. Mike ran it down for him. Tossing it back, he walked closer. “The soccer team deciding if you can stay because you're gay? That sounds lame to me.”

Damn this kid is asking a lot of personal questions, Jason thought. “I gave them the option. I didn’t want this to be a distraction.”

“Why would it be?” Mike seemed shocked at the suggestion.

“Not everyone has a gay brother or is as cool about it as you. Some people still think we are sick.”

His anger at Jordan grew the more Mike spoke. It wasn’t that Mike was bothering him, but the fact he knew Jason’s business really got him hot. Who the fuck gave Jordan the right to mess with his life? “Fuck!” He said louder than he planned, slamming the ball hard against the floor.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get you mad.” Mike backed away.

“Nah, it’s not you, Mike.” Jason chased down the ball. Some of the other people playing stopped and looked his way. “It just pisses me off Jordan gets to spread my business all over campus and beyond.”

“Yeah,” Mike nodded, “that does suck.”

When he finally got the ball, he walked over to Mike. “Thanks.” He held out his hand. “I appreciate you telling me what you did. Let’s me know not everyone hates me.”

Mike accepted his hand. “Probably fewer people hate you than you think.”

“Since we were never introduced, Jason Tellerman. Nice meeting you, Mike.” Jason laughed at what a dork he was.

“Mike Geery.”

“Yo, Jase!” He heard Darryl call his name.

He turned to see Darryl and most of the team following him. “You better put the ball down or Coach is gonna kick his co-captain off the team.”

Darryl’s face broke into a wide smile, matched by most of his teammates. When what his friend said sunk in, his face matched theirs.

Moving the ball in his hands, he motioned with his head to his best friend. Darryl ran toward the hoop in response, ready for Jason to lob him the ball. Leaping, Darryl caught the ball and slammed it home. Landing on both feet he stuck his tongue out and growled at Jason.

“Old times Jase, just like old times.” Darryl laughed.

Darryl’s good mood affected those around him, Jason especially. A high five, low five, jumping hip check later, Darryl had Jason in a head lock dragging him back toward the rest of the team. Jason wiggled out and ran back to get the ball. He stopped in front of Mike.

“Your brother is lucky to have you.” Jason told him. “My brother knows and we're still tight. That is huge to me, so I'm sure he appreciates the support.”

Mike smiled. “Glad things worked out for you, but we sure could have used you as our fourth.”

“See you around.” Jason rejoined his teammates, feeling as if the entire field house had been lifted from his back. He couldn’t wait to call Peter. Dean would have to get used to being second.