Beneath the Mask - 7. Chapter 7

(ALEJANDRO’S POINT OF VIEW)

At first I thought I was dreaming. Slowly I realized it wasn’t a dream, it is actually happening. I opened my eyes to see Matt hovering over me. He leaned in to kiss me as he played with my hard dick in my sweats.

As we kissed I kicked off the sheets and pulled down my sweats. Before I couldn’t do anything else, Matt grabbed a hold of my dick and started jerking me off. I couldn’t help but moan into Matt’s mouth as we kissed.

All of a sudden Matt broke the kiss. He made his way down to my dick quickly. I tried to stop him, but he got my dick into his mouth before I could spit out the first word. I have never felt this way before in my life. Man does his mouth feel awesome around my dick.

Matt kept bobbing up and down on my dick getting me closer and closer to cumming. It isn’t going to take me much to cum due to not jerking off for weeks. I can’t even remember the last time I jerked to tell you the truth.

I grabbed the back of Matt’s head and controlled the speed he was sucking on my dick. A couple of times he actually skinned my dick with his teeth. I didn’t say anything about it. It did hurt, but it actually made me feel good. It told me that he isn’t a veteran of giving head. I might actually be his first.

I don’t think he has been sucking my dick for five minutes when I reached my climax. My toes curled up, I held in my breath, and spoke to warn Matt that I am about to shoot my load down his throat if he doesn’t release my dick right now.

“Matt, babe, I am about to cum man! I am about to cum, you better….”

That was it, I started to shoot. At first I felt bad that I didn’t give enough time for Matt to let go of my dick. Now I am shooting in his mouth. Rather than pulling off Matt started sucking up every drop not wanting to let go of my dick. That is when I felt better. He actually wanted to have my cum shooting in his mouth!

I shot seven or eight times before Matt let go of my dick. It hit my stomach, still hard as hell. Looks like I can go another round with Matt. We just don’t have the time. I only wish I could pay him back for this.

“Matt that was awesome man. I can wake up to your mouth around my dick or on my lips every day. Thank you for this wake up call. I will pay you back; trust me, I will.”

All Matt did is smile, not speaking a word. He grabbed a towel and a wash cloth, and then threw them to me. While I cleaned up, I got my clothes I am going to wear for the day. Within minutes I was dressed ready to go.

Before we left the room, I gave Matt one long ass kiss. I played with his dick through his pants. Man this guy is hard as a rock. I only wish I could drop to my knees and pull his dick out. I want it in my mouth so bad right now.

Carlos caught up with Matt and me as we made our way to the cafeteria. I couldn’t help but have a bounce in my step and whistle as we walked. I know Carlos noticed. If he asks I will tell lie to him. I’ll use the news he gave me last night as the reason. Only Matt and I know the real reason.

After grabbing what I wanted to eat, I headed to the table to eat. We just sat there joking around about the games yesterday more focused on the way we played the day before. No NFL team will ever look at us for their teams!

All of a sudden I felt I hand on my shoulder and then a searing pain in my back. Once the hand left my shoulder, it felt like my spine is being pulled out of me. I yelled in pain and then my head just fell into my breakfast.

With my face in my eggs, I felt dumb. I felt like an ass knowing everyone was looking at me at this time. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled from my plate of eggs. I saw Carlos shielding me from the others. He actually wiped the eggs from my face. He knows I can’t be seen anything less then what I am. The hardest, biggest asshole of them all.

The next thing I felt is Matt’s hands around my side. He held me up allowing Carlos to be free to go after whoever did this. Matt just kept yelling the same thing over and over again. In between each time he looked down at me with tears in his eyes.

“Get Alex to medical wing now, he has been stabbed. Get a guard down here to move Alex to the medical wing. Some one please help, get a guard damn it.”

I just kept looking up at Matt. He saw the concern in my face. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and tried his best to hold in his tears. He held onto me until several guards arrived. They really don’t know what to do. They just kept asking me questions after question.

Finally someone from the medical ward arrived. It looked like a nurse at first, then a doctor. I really don’t know if there is a difference here. All I know they are wearing scrubs and looking at my wound. They asked medical questions about my health and where does it hurt.

They gently rolled me to my side, lifting my shirt up. One of the medical personnel held down several white pieces of cloth where I was stabbed. I heard the other one yell for the gurney to be let through.

With help from Matt, I got lifted onto the gurney. Another medical personal as they started rolling me away. The first two were shouting things out to the one that just arrived. Then the one that is holding white cloth over the wound lifted her hands. The other medical person looked down and just said one sentence.”

“We need to get him into the medical ward now!”

They lifted me up and almost threw me on the gurney and started running, pushing the gurney down the hall. We went through several doors, until we reached a room that is all white. They stopped the gurney and right away moved me from the gurney to a bed.

The last medical person that showed up leaned over me and finally spoke for the first time; at least for the first time to me.

“We are going to need to put you under. Who ever stabbed you got it in very deep. It even looks like they broke off what ever they used to stab you. When you wake up, all this will be over.”

All I did is nod my head. The only thing I could think is I hope this guy is a doctor. I really hope he knows what he is doing because If I die now after finding Matt, I don’t know what I would do.

They put the mask over my face and asked me to start counting backwards from a hundred. The last thing I saw is Officer Jackson looking over me with a worried look on his face. The medical staff tried to push him out of the way, but he wouldn’t budge.

(CARLOS’ POINT OF VIEW)

After Matt grabbed a hold of Alex, I started to run after the kid that stabbed Alex. He didn’t even make down the first hallway. Just as he tried to turn the corner, I tackled him. I want to kill this son-of-a-bitch that just stabbed Alex.

Once I got on top of the guy, I started to hit him in his back. I didn’t stop until he stopped moving under me. As soon as he did that I flipped him over. I want to see the face of the guy that tried to kill Alex. I want to see this guys face before I rip it off of his shoulders.

After I turned him around, I started to knock the shit out of him again. As I looked at his face, just for a minute, I froze. I couldn’t believe who it was. How in the world did he get in here? How in the world did he get back so soon?

I got my senses back and started to knock the shit out of him. There is no way I am going to allow the guards to take him away without me taking him to the brink of death. I want to kill this guy so bad right now.

I just kept wailing on him. I didn’t want to stop. Even as he yelled out in pain, covered his face, I didn’t stop. It took several guards to get me off of him. Once they did, the guards threw me face first into the floor. One placed his foot on my back yelling at me not to move another inch.

At that point I knew I couldn’t do anything else. I looked over and watched as the guards picked up Bobby. They dragged him off yelling in pain. Then the guards lifted me up and slammed me against the wall. They put a set of handcuffs on me. Just as they clamped them, I heard Mr. Henderson voice.

“Unhand cuff that kid. It doesn’t look like he is resisting anything you are doing. You are to only use handcuffs when one of these guys resists.”

“Sir we found this guy on top of the other guy beatin’ the crap out of him. We need to make sure this inmate doesn’t try anything on us.”

“First of all officer what are you doing in this wing. You are assigned to “B” wing. And if I am not mistaken, that kid you just pulled out of here belongs to “B” wing. How in the world did a lockdown inmate get in this building?”

“I don’t know sir, but I will find out.”

Officer Jackson walked up at this point. He looked over at me and then to the guard. It looked like he didn’t want to look at Mr. Henderson. He knew there is something really wrong here.

“Officer Jackson you will take this guy to a calm room. Then you will bring this officer to my office. I want answers from you officer the minute you arrive. I don’t want to hear that you need to find out. I think you know who allowed that inmate into this building to stab another inmate or you did it yourself,” Mr. Henderson stated.

Mr. Henderson walked off. It looks like he is heading over to the medical wing. Officer Jackson grabbed me. He pointed where to go. I didn’t say anything, I just started walking. I know I am now going to go to Building “B”. They have no choice but to put me in Building “B”.

The only thing is there isn’t going to be anyone in this building to protect Alex. I know I didn’t do a very good job, but people didn’t mess with us from the fear of what will come if they were to.

Officer Jackson opened up a calm room and pushed me in. A calm room is where they put inmates in when they boil over. They leave us in here until they think we have settled down. After that, we are taken to Building “B”.

(MR. HENDERSON’S POINT OF VIEW)

“Damn it officer, explain to me exactly how did this happen? How did an inmate in your building, in lockdown, get over to the other building? To top it off, he stabbed another inmate in the process.”

I slammed the door as Jackson and the other officer walked in. I screwed up majorly here. There is no way if Alex survives that he will work with us anymore. In the few weeks he has been here we have gotten more information about the gangs than we have in decades of looking in from the outside.

Alex not only gave us every leader in this gang from this level, but all the way up. Even when there was a change in leadership, he told us. We never knew how the stuff was getting in here and then sent off to the prison system. But with Alex, we got to know everything. We controlled what was going in and coming out of the system.

All I needed to do is protect this kid. He is now fighting for his life in that wing we call the medical wing. The staff got sent to us from hospitals around the city they couldn’t make it in those hospitals, so they end up here.

I really screwed up with Alex. There is just no way is he ever going to trust me again. He won’t trust anyone in here. The really sad thing about all this is that he will feel safer in the gang life. After all this hard work, he will return back to the gang life.

“Mr. Henderson I swear I don’t know how Bobby got from his dorm into this building. I am the watch commander, and the buck stops here. So I will take the suspension without pay. I just don’t have the answer you are seeking.”

“Screw that Officer. You won’t take suspension without pay! You got paid very handsomely from whoever asked you to do this for them. No sir I won’t suspend you. I am firing you from this job.”

Officer Applemen just looked at me. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“Wait a minute Mr. Henderson I can’t get fired for what just happened. You can suspend me, but not fire me. More so you can’t do it without any proof.”

“Oh trust me I will get proof. I am not done with you Officer! You are not only fired, you will be placed under arrest. The charges right now is accessory to attempted murder. If Alejandro Garcia dies, the charge will change.”

“What the hell, you can’t charge me with…..”

“Officer Jackson, slap some hand cuffs on him and shut him up. Officer Applemen you have been implicated in many murders, attempted murders, and other gang affiliated activities. You have been under investigation for close to a year. Trust me I have enough proof to put you away for life.

When I go and start squeezing the inmates in Building “B” they will give you up. They will give you up in a New York minute if it means they have a chance to get out of here instead of going to prison. You are not one of them. They only protect their own.”

I walked to my desk and asked my secretary to let the police in. I had planned to start cleaning house, but not with this officer. He left me with no other choice but to start with him.

After the information Alex got for us the day we put him in with the others, I decided it was enough. I need to get rid of all bad guards in this place once and for all. Even if they have one strike against them, they are gone.

“Gentlemen, will you please take this former employee into custody.” I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a file. “You can book him for these charges now. More are coming down the line very soon.”

I handed the police officers a sheet that had been signed by the District Attorney’s Office. They felt these charges on this sheet will stick with the proof we have. After handing the police officers the sheet, they took Applemen into custody and out the door.

I turned to Jackson and just looked at him. As I sat down behind my desk I told him it is time to clean house. As the new shift comes on, we will deal with the outgoing shift. That means firings and some more arrests.

It needs to be done now more than ever. If Alex does return back to his gang life, he won’t have a guard to go to for help. At the same time I know Alex, he isn’t stupid. He didn’t give up every guard. He kept one or two in his pocket in case he needs them. I also know I will have several officers left over I don’t want here.

(JACKSON’S POINT OF VIEW)

I spent the majority of the morning in Mr. Henderson’s office cleaning house as he called it. When I finally got out of there, I was grateful. Many fellow officers’ lives are gone due to being dirty. They allowed the almighty dollar to rule and cause them to ignore their sworn oath.

I walked over to the quiet room where we put Carlos earlier in the morning. As I walked in Carlos got up from the floor. There is no bed, table, or chairs in this room. It is only four white walls for the inmate to walk around in.

“Carlos you know what you did this morning leaves us with no other choice then to put you in Building “B”? I do understand why you did it. Still you put me and Mr. Henderson in a corner we really can’t get out of.”

“I understand what you are saying Officer Jackson. Since you are going to put me into Building “B”, please put me in lock down. Without Alex looking out for me, I am a dead man over there.

They will make it look like an accident, but Alex will know and I can’t put Alex in that position. He needs to get out of here, he needs to get to the free and start a life for himself. He deserves it more than anyone I have ever known.”

I just looked at Carlos. These guys do live by a high code I will never understand. More and more I respect them for it because no matter what they will always protect their fellow gang member even if that means they get killed or go down in prison for life.

“Carlos I want to make a deal with you. Please hear me out before you say a word.”

“Sure I will hear you out Officer Jackson. But if you want me to sell out Alex I will never do that. He and I grew up together, we are like brothers. Although we don’t have the same blood in our veins, we act as if we do.”

“No Carlos I am not going to ask you to sell Alex out. I already know you wouldn’t. No Carlos I need your help on something else. It does involve Alex, but in a good way.

Alex is still in surgery; it is touch and go right now. Bobby knew exactly where to stick the shank in to do the most damage. He also broke it off inside of Alex. That is making matters worse for the medical staff over there.

I know Alex is a strong guy and he will make it. Now when he does we fear when he wakes he won’t want to work with us anymore. We fear he will think that we can’t protect him anymore. We screwed up on this real bad; no doubt about it. Still…..”

I went explaining to Carlos about what we had just finished doing. Still we can’t guarantee Alex’s safety one hundred percent but we are getting there. I explained we need him more than he actually needs us right now.

At first Carlos looked confused about my last comment. I knew I had to explain further and I did. With all the help and information Alex has given us in the last couple weeks ensures that he gets out on his twenty first birthday!

“Look Carlos I fear he is going to turn back to his gang life because he feels safer there. Doing that would be throwing away any chance he has of getting out of here. We need to make sure he doesn’t do that.

I will place you back in Building “A” as long as you make sure Alex doesn’t return to gang life, but help us get him to believe in us again. We can protect him now. This situation today was out of our control. Honesty we have done as much as we can to make sure Alex is safe when he returns.”

“Well Officer Jackson, I really….”

“Carlos you will get something in return as well. Not only you will get to go back to Building “A”, I will set aside time every week for you and your girlfriend to spend time together.”

I see Carlos’s face drop. He thought he was being slick about what he is doing with Dabria. We may look stupid at times, but we aren’t. We let it go because of the help he has been giving us. We are always watching from afar to make sure they don’t go to far when they are together.

“Carlos we know everything that goes on in here. No matter if we are here or not, we know. We know about your talks, your meetings, and when you two take off together. You and Dabria can do that now without having to sneak off. There is only one rule. There can be no actual sex. Anything goes as long as your dick never enters her. If it does, it is over for both of you.”

“Ok I will do what I can for you guys. Trust me I know Alex and you don’t need me. When he comes through, he won’t blame you guys. He knows this is his life. He really believes he will never make out of here alive.”

Now it is my turn. I couldn’t believe what Carlos just said. Alex really believes he is going to die in here. He has his mind set that the only way he is leaving this place is through the back door in a box. Oh no, we need to change that way of thinking.

“Why does he think that, Carlos? We have done everything to keep him safe. Aside from today, we have done a pretty good job. Why does Alex think that way? He will walk out of this place when the time comes.”

“We know the system here. We have been in this system almost all of our lives. You can protect a person so much, but if they want you dead, you will be dead. There will be nothing you, Mr. Henderson, or anyone can do about that.

Alex is part of a family that lives by fear. His father is where he is because he rules everything by fear. If these guys in here don’t kill him because of his father’s position, his father will have him killed because Alex isn’t living up to his responsibilities as his father sees it.”

I still couldn’t believe a young kid like Alex has to live with that on his mind every day. How can anyone live with the threat of his own father ordering the killing of his own son? How can Alex live with the fear that someone in this gang will kill him because he is the son of the gang leader?

“Carlos, come on young man and let’s gets you back to your room. Remember you can’t tell a soul about what we discussed. So that things will be believeable I will find a punishment for you.”

Carlos agreed and I walked him back to his room. Once we arrived, I just looked at him. I couldn’t help but wonder if these two kids were brought up in a different home or a different part of town, would things be different for them?

(CARLOS’S POINT OF VIEW)

After Officer Jackson left I just sat on my bed. I couldn’t help but think about Alex. Not only this guy is going through surgery, when he is done, no one will be at his bed side. That has to be the ugliest feeling anyone could have.

I heard a knock on my door. I didn’t even bother to ask who it was, I knew. I just simply asked the person at the door to come in. As the door opened and Matt’s face popped in, I couldn’t help but smile.

“Come on in my main man Matt. Sit with me and have a soda and a honey bun. Right now I need to have a friend around me I can trust.”

“You trust me Carlos? I thought you hated my guts!”

“If Alex, who is more like my brother, trusts you, then I trust you. One thing about Alex you don’t know is that it’s hard to gain his trust! He was brought up not to trust a soul. He was taught that the minute you trust someone, that is the minute you will die.”

“Do you think that is what happened this morning, Matt? Did Alex get stabbed because he decided to hang with us, instead going back to his gang? I have heard you can never get out of a gang once you are in,” Matt asked with deep concern.

“You’re right about getting out. No Matt, Alex didn’t get stabbed because he is hanging with you guys. He and I just screwed up. We sat on the wrong side of the table for one. We always sit on the side with our backs against the wall looking out. That way we can see everyone and everything.

I messed up by joking around instead of watching Alex’s back. Alex enforced the rules with these guys, and some didn’t like it. Alex took out there leaders, and they didn’t like that move at all. Alex made sure everyone understood he was in charge, they didn’t like even more.

Take you pick of any of what I said and there’s more that I didn’t say. No Matt, it wasn’t you or your friends that caused this. It is the life he and I chose to live. It’s just like being a soldier. Soldiers know when they put on that uniform they are putting their life on the line for this Country. When we chose to wear the colors of the gang, we knew we could die very young and at anytime.”

Matt and I spoke through the afternoon and after dinner. We waited together, trying to pass time, to get some kind of word on Alex’s condition. Nothing came before lights out. Matt headed to his room, while I tried to get some sleep.

I now see why Alex likes Matt so much. He shows us a person we could have been if we didn’t get involved in gang life. Matt made one mistake and got sentenced at the wrong time. In election years judges need to look even tougher on those who break the law! Poor Matt would have gotten probation if it wasn’t an election year.

Matt showed me what can be if I try and really want to make a change. What I mean is that crime isn’t the way out. It is the way to the end, but not the way out. Those that ‘get it’ need to stay on the straight and narrow while we are in here. Once we learn how to do that, it will follow us out the door when we leave. I really do believe Alex is trying to be like Matt because he wants to leave this life behind, not only in here, but when he leaves.

The next morning I knocked on Matt’s door to get him to go to breakfast. He instantly answered and we headed off. Normally we are to keep our doors open, but Matt has earned the respect of the guard staff to close his when he is changing or stuff like that.

All through breakfast all I heard is talk about what had happened in here the day before. Almost everyone kept looking over at the table where I am sitting. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake ever again. I took the seat against the wall looking out to everyone and everything.

Several days drug on before we heard anything about Alex’s condition. Three days passed before anyone was told about Alex’s condition. When we did hear something, it was just the word he got through the surgery. There was nothing more than that, so I was still as worried then as I was the day he got stabbed!

All through this time I hung around with Matt in the evenings. If we weren’t in the dayroom watching TV, we were playing in the courtyard. We just wanted to do anything to keep busy and keep our minds off the fact we didn’t know shit about Alex.

By Friday I couldn’t stand the wait any longer. I want to know what was up with Alex and I want to now. I approached the guard that checked everyone coming and going through the medical wing. He pretty much gave me the run around. The only thing he could tell me is that his mother was here once Alex got out of surgery.

That really didn’t help me at all. I wanted to know more than that but the guard isn’t going to let me through to see Alex. The guard told me basically only family, and even then, only once a week, unless his condition gets worse.

(ALEJANDRO’S POINT OF VIEW)

All I am seeing right now is dark. For some odd reason I can’t open my eyes. I know my mind must be awake. I hear people talking around me. I hear the machines beeping like crazy. I just can’t open my eyes no matter how hard I try.

I got woken up with a loud clatter of dishes hitting the ground. I must have fallen asleep again. How could I have fallen asleep when I can’t even open my eyes? Is this how it is going to be for the rest of my life, being stuck in my head, talking, yelling, but no one hearing a word I yell?

Once again I heard the same voices around me again. The last thing I can remember is eating breakfast on Monday morning. We were horsing around while we ate. I had this feeling all over my body I never felt before. I can’t even explain what it is. All I know I was the happiest I had ever been that morning. For the first time I have someone in my life, except my blood, who loves me for me.

Then that happy feeling went away. I got thrown into a nightmare with a searing pain ripping through my back. The pain instantly shot all over my body within seconds. I have never felt anything like this before.

First Carlos held me, then Matt, then someone I didn’t know. I kept going in and out until I was told to count backwards from a hundred, I think. Now I am here trying to talk to whoever will listen to me.

The voices that were talking around me went away. Little by little they faded off into the distance. I think they are the medical personnel that worked on me. I could be wrong; it could be the undertaker getting me ready for burial.

I must have fallen asleep once again. I got woken up again with a stinging pain in my arm. It went away, but wait, here it is again. What in the world, it feels like someone is stabbing me over and over again with a needle. That is when I heard a new voice.

“Sir, I can’t find a vein. I keep trying and trying, but there isn’t one. Can you help me out please?” said one voice

“No you keep trying to find one. Don’t worry about the patient. He is the property of the State. That is why you are here learning on them, instead in a real hospital. You could screw up and no one would care,” said a second voice.

What the hell is he saying? I am a person no matter where I am at. I screwed up, but I deserve medical treatment. Oww! Damn it woman! If I could move I would rip that needle from you damn hand! Are you stupid or what?

By the eighth or tenth try she finally got the needle in my arm. If they needed blood from me, all they need to do is put a bowl under my arm. I have to be leaking plenty of blood from all the stab wounds in my arm.

All of a sudden I felt my chest tighten up. I can’t breathe anymore! The machines are going off right now. Voices, I mean lots of voices started all at once. I can’t make out what they are saying. That was it. I faded off once again.

I woke up feeling something in my throat. This times the voices I am hearing, I know. One of them is my mother and the other sounds like Jacob. He is really ripping into whoever he is talking to. They keep trying to get a word in edge wise, but Jacob won’t let them.

“Look, either we get a real doctor here or you transfer Mr. Garcia to the county hospital to get the correct treatment. If you don’t do one or the other, you will make Mr. Garcia a very rich man when he walks out of here.”

“Mr. Hernandez we don’t have the resources or the money to move Mr. Garcia to the hospital. Once he was sentenced here, he became the property of the State. You can yell and scream all you want, it won’t change that fact. So if you don’t mind I have several other patients to see.”

“Mrs. Garcia, stay here with your son. This isn’t over yet ma’am. I will talk to whoever is in charge here.”

I feel sorry for Mr. Henderson when he meets up with Jacob. He isn’t one that you want to have as an enemy. I learned that the hard way. I was brought out of thought when I felt my mom pick up my hand and start rubbing it.

“Alex, please pull through this my son. I can’t live losing any of my children before their time. The parents are supposed to go first, not their children. Please Alex pull through this for me, please…...”

I faded out again as my mother talked to me. I don’t think she knew I heard her. But I did and I will do everything in my power to pull through. I can’t have a chicken shit take my life. No way can I allow this guy to stab me in the back and not face me.

I was woken up by someone actually rubbing something across my legs. Who ever it was, started rubbing from my thigh and made his or her way down to my toes. Then they went to my other leg and did the same thing.

“So Dr. Whitmore do you agree with what we have done so far? Mr. Garcia will be lucky to wake up. He won’t care if he can walk again.”

“Sir I don’t take that kind of approach with any of my patients. I have had many patients in my care that should have died, but are still among the living. You are wrong, not only will Mr. Garcia wake up, he will walk again. This I promise you and his mother. For now you will stay away from my patient.

Unless there is an emergency, you or your staff won’t touch him. I will leave the male nurse here to treat him. You won’t get in his way. Mr. Henderson approved two of my nurses, and they are the only ones that will deal with Mr. Garcia.”

“That is fine with me Dr. Whitmore. One less gang banger to worry about is great for me. I just wish these kids would just kill each other off before they become adults. It will save our society a lot of money if they did.”

“You know what? I don’t know how you came to head up this ward, but that will change. I am going to report you and do everything I can to get your license revoked. You won’t be able to treat dogs when I am done with you.

You forgot the first part of the oath we took when we became doctors. It doesn’t change when the patient is an inmate of a state. Everyone you see must be given the same treatment no matter what.”

Whoever this doctor is I like him. The name I think I know. From where I don’t know, but it will come to me. The next thing I heard him do is give instructions to his staff. One will work the morning and the other will work the evening.

By the looks of it I will only be in the care of the staff here during the night. But both of his nurses, including him, are on call twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

He left and the first nurse took over. He started fooling around with the machine. After he did that, he re-did what ever the nurses here did. I think he started a new line for my IV.

I didn’t know what day it was, but I knew I had to have been in here for at least a couple of days. Now time seems to have stopped. I am in my mind thinking and talking to myself. I don’t even know how much time passed when I heard the doctor again.

“Dr. Whitmore, you were right with what you saw on the scans. They screwed up on the original surgery. They left a piece in there that is more than likely causing this patient not to wake up. If we remove that remaining piece, he will walk again.”

“Thank you Dr. Mitchell. I needed a second opinion. I respect you because we worked together in the past. What we did together is nothing short of a miracle. I need to know can you help me on this case and put aside your dislike of the patient.”

“Yes Dr. Whitmore, I can help you and can put aside any dislike. Look, you got brought in by our miracle. If Jacob has forgiven this guy, who are we not to do the same? I will do anything for Jacob.”

“Thank you and I agree with you completely. Let’s get washed up and get in there. The quicker we get in, the quicker we can fix the mistakes the idiot here made.”

As those two talked, I finally placed the names. Those are Jacob’s doctors. Jacob told me about them in his letter and in person when he visited me. Now they are here to help me.

Basically these two are awesome doctors Jake told me. They don’t know the meaning of the word quit. It seems they have never seen a case too bad they can’t fix. Jake kept telling me he is sitting here because of the hands of these doctors. They patched him up and made him whole again.

I felt someone around me once again. Who ever it is started working on the machines. Then I felt the bed start to move. I heard the bed go through several doors before it stopped again.

I heard one of the doctors ask whoever brought me in if he had given me the shot yet. When he answered, I knew who it was. It was the day nurse from Dr. Whitmore’s office. He answered plain and simple; “Yes I gave the patient the shot before bringing him here. He should be out within the next few minutes sir.”

The next thing I felt is a mask being placed over my face. That was it. I was out. The last thing I did before the mask and the shot took effect, is pray. I am not religious, but this is a good time to pray if there ever was one.

“Dear Lord, I pray for your help. I know you have never really heard from me before now. I am not a religious person, but I need you now. I am a screw up and have been one all my life. If I am to die today, I need your forgiveness.

I never really visited a church, talked to a priest, or even went to my knees at night to pray to you. I have tried to kill not only one person, but many in my short life span. I beat up, stabbed, shot, robbed, lied, and forced others.

Since I can remember, I haven’t done anything good in my life. Now I got what I probably deserve; payback. If it is my time to die, please forgive me for all the sins I have committed in this life.

If you give me another chance to stay on this earth, I promise I will do right. I will do whatever it takes to fix the mistakes I made already in my life. I will live right. I can’t promise to go to church, but I can promise to pray to more than I have. Please help me Lord, please. Amen!”

(MATHEW’S POINT OF VIEW)

As Friday rolled around I felt emptier than I ever felt before in my life. I found the one I want to try to become one with. I know I haven’t known Alex for that long yet, but I just I know. I can’t explain this feeling I have right now. All I can say is if anyone has truly been in love before has to have known this feeling.

Carlos and I have become closer friends. Let me change that. We have become friends since Alex got stabbed. He is almost just like Alex. Neither of the two will talk about the gang life, and I won’t ask.

Still I wouldn’t kill to have a friend like Carlos at my side. He is willing to give up his freedom to avenge the wrong done to his friend. I don’t know if that is part of the position Carlos holds in the gang, or if it is pure friendship. Whatever the reason is, I want a friend like Carlos.

After dinner, I went to the dayroom to watch TV. I had a lot of homework to do, but just like the rest of this week, I didn’t feel like doing it. I am in a slump right now. I know if Alex finds out, he will be mad. I just can’t help it though.

As the dayroom filled I felt uncomfortable being in there around everyone. All they do is asking me if I knew about the stabbing before it went down. No matter how many times I say ‘no’, they keep asking me over and over again.

I even tried to defend Alex with everyone. Again no matter how many times I say it or how I say it they won’t believe that Alex is turning his life around. Almost all of them repeated the same words back to me.

“Once a person is in a gang, they are always in a gang and even more so because of who Alex’s father is. Alex is evil and will always be evil. I need to get away from him as fast and as soon as possible.”

The only ones that really didn’t speak badly about Alex are my friends. At the same time they didn’t speak well about him either. Basically they are staying away from the subject altogether. I figure that is best. That way there won’t be fights between us.

As the dayroom filled I decided to go to my room. Although Alex has only been here for a couple of weeks, I do miss having him around. All there is in this room are four walls, two beds, two dressers and me. I am running out of topics to think about.

Somehow I got myself to fall asleep. It isn’t a good sleep. I kept tossing and turning in my bed, waking up every couple of hours. One of the times I woke up I thought I saw Alex in his bed.

I looked over to his side, and there he is sound asleep in his bed. Although he looked bad, at least he is in his bed. I squint my eyes to get them to adjust to the darkness of the room. Still I see Alex there in his bed sound asleep.

I told myself there is no way. I would have heard him come in. There is no way because he would have woken me up as soon as the guard left. It is nothing but a dream. I am still half asleep wanting something so bad I am imagining it now.

I turned my head to the wall and faded off to sleep. Still it seemed so real to me. It really looked like Alex was there when I woke up. Man I miss him so much. All I want is him back with me. I want his arms around me, protecting me, making me feel like I am the world to him. With Alex all my worries goes away.

(ALEJANDRO’S POINT OF VIEW, A DREAM)

When I wake up I find myself in my room in my mother’s house. I know this can’t be true. I can’t be back at home. This is a trick my mind is playing on me. But still it feels so good to be back home again even if it is a dream!

All of a sudden my dad walks into my room. Now I know this is a dream. Both he and I are locked up. He doesn’t look happy at all. In fact he looks like the man I came to know shortly before he was arrested again.

Without saying a word, my dad walks over to my bed, tosses the covers off, and pulls me out of bed. With his full strength, he tosses me across the room. Before I can get my footing again, my dad gets on top of me!

He starts punching me in the chest, stomach and everywhere except my face. At first he isn’t saying a word. He just sits on top of me punching me. All I can do is try my best to protect my face.

“No son of mine is going to be weak. You need to learn to take a punch. You need to learn how to take a beat down. I need to toughen you up before tomorrow night. You are going to be brought into our family business once and for all.”

My farther keeps wailing on me. I just sit there letting him hit me. The less I fight, the quicker he will finish. Several times a month he walks into my room to do this and tell me the same things.

After fifteen minutes or so of him beating on me, my dad stops. I look up to him as he looks straight into my eyes. I hate it when he looks at me the way he is looking at me right now. I know he isn’t too happy with me right now.

“Junior, you need to start fighting back. You can’t let anyone get over on you like this. It is a sign of weakness. You will be killed if people find out that you are weak. If that happens there isn’t a thing I can do about it.”

“Dad it is you that is hitting on me. I can’t hit my dad. That is a sign of disrespect to you if I do that.”

My father hits me across the face really hard. “I don’t care if it’s me, your mother, or your brothers that come up on you like this, you will fight back. If it means you living and me dying, you need to kill me, Junior. I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you if you become a threat to me. Mark my words Junior. It is time for you to realize that only the strong survive in our way of life.”

My father walks out of the room leaving me where he threw me, in the corner. I sit there looking at where my father hit me. I see several welts and bruises starting to form. It is going to be a bitch to walk today.

I get up from the floor, get dressed, and head out. When I walk into the kitchen my mom has already left. I grab a bowl of cereal before I leave myself. Before I can finish eating, I heard Carlos talking.

“Hey there, Essay! How’s it hanging? Are you ready for your entrance of the gang tomorrow? I will tell you how it is after I get beat down tonight.”

I look at Carlos. Man is he young. It looks like he is in fourth or fifth grade. I start to freak out seeing Carlos so young. I run to a mirror. Damn, I am young again just like Carlos. I have to be in around fourth or fifth grade.

Carlos walks over to me. He joins me looking in the mirror. We were both looking in the mirror when my father walks in with his buddies. Neither Carlos nor I see my dad walk up to the door until it was too late.

He slams the door shut, catching my fingers between the door frame and the door. I start yelling out in pain. It hurts like all hell. Instead of my dad helping me, he leans against the door with his weight pushing the door even harder into my fingers!

I start to scream even louder. There is no way my fingers aren’t broken now. I look around with tears rolling down my face due to the pain shooting up and down my body. I can’t believe that my father’s friends are actually holding back Carlos from getting to me. Carlos is struggling so much to get free, but he can’t.

“What were you two faggots doing looking in the mirror together? I won’t have a son that is a faggot. I will kill you first before you walk around this neighborhood acting like a faggot. Do you understand me Junior? What were you two doing looking in the mirror together like little love birds?”

“Dad I swear Carlos and I are not fags. We were just making sure we were suited to go out. You have always told me not to go out looking like crap.”

“You’re lying to me Junior. I can see it in your eyes. Now tell me the truth, or I won’t only break your fingers, I will break every bone in your body!”

Before I can say anything else, my father opens the door. At that moment I am in so much pain I don’t see my father’s fist come flying at me. Once it connected to my face, I go flying across the room.

This time I didn’t lose my balance, but I am dazed. I stand there protecting my hand that was in the door when my father comes at me. He lands punch after punch all over my body not caring where he hits me. He just keeps hitting me over and over again.

“I won’t have a fag as a son. I will knock the fag out of you. If I kill you, so be it. One way or another, you won’t be a fag.”

At that point my father throws me back against the wall. I don’t realize that I am not protecting my bad hand anymore. My father grabs my hand and squeezes it as he pulls it into the closet door. I couldn’t do anything else except scream on the top of my lungs.

I thought I was in pain already but it’s not anything. My father holds me against the wall by the closet and he slams the door shut over and over again on my elbow. By the third time I swear I hear my bones break.

Then, like a voice from heaven, I hear my mother yelling at my father. I see her pushing him out of the way. I slide down the wall and land on my butt. I can’t move my arm due to the pain.

Just as I look up my father pushes my mother out of the way to get to me. Before he stars in again on me, he slaps my mom several times. Once he sees she is down, he starts kicking me in the ribs.

I can’t protect my ribs or any part of my body by then. With broken fingers and several bones in my arm and elbow, I can’t do much but sit there. I just want the pain to get so bad that I will just pass out.

Once again my mother tries to help me. This time she comes after my father with something. He’s not looking at anything else except me. My mother hits him over the head with a pot. My father turns around only to get several more whacks in the head.

My father falls to the ground like a bag of potatoes. Carlos finally gets free and runs over to help my mother pick me up from the floor. As Carlos and my mom walk me out of the house, my mother turns around speaking to my father’s friends; “There is no doubt the neighbors heard all the noise. You’d better pick up that piece of shit and get him out of here. You know as well as I do that if he is caught he isn’t going to see the light of day for a very long time.”

I must have passed out between the front door and the car. The next thing I know is Carlos slapping me in the face to wake up. With his help we walk into the free clinic in Juarez, Mexico. We couldn’t go to a hospital in El Paso. They ask too many questions. The cops will get involved and take me away from my mother. No, it is better this way. We need to keep it quiet. We are lucky that we live a border town.

The doctor looks me over and takes several scans of my hand and arm. While the x-rays are being developed, the staff looks me over. They clean up all the cuts and scratches. Once the doctor got the x-rays, he finished patching me up.

The clinic already knows us. They know who my father and grandfather are so they don’t ask questions. They don’t have us wait. They take us in, patch us up the best they can and send us off. I have been here several times, as have my mother and brothers.

After all is said and done I received several broke bones in my arm, elbow. Every finger, except my thumb is broken. The doctor wrapped my arm up in a cast like a mummy. My fingers he put in splints. That was all he could do, so we left.

At that point I really didn’t want to go home. To tell you the truth I was afraid to go home. I know my father will be there and if not, he will be back very soon. I tried to tell my mother, but she won’t listen to anything I have to say.

When we get home I am glad that my father isn’t there. My mom drops Carlos and me off in order for her to get to work. Once I saw my mom turn the corner, Carlos and I walked over to his house. Nothing was said as we walked.

We hung out at his house for the rest of the day. We already know that Carlos is going to be beaten tonight by my father’s gang. That is the way we become part of the gang. It is called blood in and blood out. We spill our own blood to become part of the gang family.

Around eight or so we hear the cars drive up. I look over to Carlos worried that my father is going to be there. Carlos already knows me. I didn’t have to say a word. We got up and make sure the doors are locked before we go up to the attic.

It isn’t really an attic. Carlos’s house is only one floor, but there is an entrance we found leading into a small crawl space in the roof. It isn’t big enough to even sit up in, but enough to crawl around in.

Just as Carlos got in and closed the entrance to the crawl space, the front door opened. Many of the gang members walked through the house looking for Carlos. Almost the last one to walk in the door is my father. He doesn’t look too happy.

He has several welts on his forehead where my mom hit him with the pot. I couldn’t help but laugh seeing that. My father is walking around with bruises on his forehead. I wonder what was said to the others about how he got them.

Once they see we aren’t there, they leave. If anyone asks, it will be said that I was still being fixed up and, of course, Carlos was with me.

We don’t want to take any chances so we decide to stay the night up in the crawl space. It isn’t as if we never done this before. Carlos and I have done it many other times. We had pillows, food, and blankets stashed up here for just this purpose.

We even have this little television we stole from a neighbor a few years back. Although it doesn’t pick up that well up here, we still have it. It gives us something else to do instead of just being stuck talking to each other.

We make our way to the corner where we store everything. Carlos helps me toss my sleeping bag out. Once I am set, Carlos works on his. The minute my head hits the sleeping bag, I am asleep.

I wake up the next morning trying to figure out where I am. Then I remember that Carlos and I hid out in our protective zone. I looked over to Carlos and still can’t believe I am still here.

Why I am still stuck in this dream? Is this hell? Did I die and this is my punishment for what I did while I was alive? Am I sentenced to relive the ugliest days of my life for eternity? They are days I wish I never lived. So many questions kept going through my mind.

I didn’t figure out any of the answers by the time Carlos woke up. By then I knew I won’t find the answers to the questions I am asking. There has to be some reason I am dreaming this. I need to get on with my day and figure it out. I have to break out of this double reality I’m experiencing.

We put our stuff away in the corner and make sure the coast is clear before heading down. Once we get out of the crawl space, we leave the house by the back door. We know we can’t stick around here. If we do, more than likely we will be found.

Most of the morning, we just walk around the neighborhood. Whenever we heard a car or saw someone walking towards us, we jumped into a nearby bush or yard. We finally decide to get as far away from the neighborhood as possible.

Without money, we didn’t get very far. Besides being hungry, I was tired and in pain. My fingers and arm are just killing me. I know Carlos is tired as well. No matter what we tell each other, sleeping up there in that crawl space isn’t comfortable at all.

I get tired, so I sit down on a bench. Carlos joins me there on the bench put there by the city. It is for riders of the city bus to sit on when waiting for the bus to arrive. Just as I shut my eyes I hear a car come to stop.

I open my eyes to see my father and several others. My father doesn’t even have to say a word. I know what he wants me to do. So I hit Carlos on his shoulder and we walk over to get in the car.

All the way to the house my father doesn’t say a word. In fact no one says anything to us. To be on the safe side, Carlos and I don’t even look at each other once. I know I don’t want to give my father any reason to flip out again. I don’t know about Carlos, but I think I might actually be gay.

Once we arrive at the house, we don’t get a chance to get out of the car. The car was surrounded by members of the gang. They start to pull Carlos and me out of the car tossing us to the ground. That is when I realize we aren’t at my house. We are actually in a parking lot somewhere.

I can’t even figure out where I am. My father gives the order, and the gang starts kicking us. Some of them actually have sticks in their hands. They are not shy about using them. Hit after hit lands on me and I have no way to protect myself as they hit me!

I feel the cast on my arm being pulled off and my hand being stepped on once again. I start screaming out in pain. I can’t believe how bad it hurts. It seems the more I scream the more they stomp on my arm and hand.

Through blurry eyes I look over to my father. He stands there watching everyone. I start to think my dad actually gave an order to kill me and Carlos. He actually thinks we are gay and lovers. My own dad, true to his word is actually going to kill me or am I dead already and just reliving this part of my life.

I try to fight back. I am actually able to kick several of them off of me, but they come back stronger. They come back even angrier than before. Before I know it, I have at least ten guys on top of me kicking the crap out of me.

I start to scream out in pain once again. I close my eyes, holding back the tears that start forming. I start yelling in pain but somehow I get up. When I open my eyes again, everything is dark.

Then I feel someone grab hold of my shoulders. A voice is piercing through the empty darkness I’m in! I think I am leaving one dream and going into another. The voice tries to reassure me.

“It is ok Alex, I am here. It is ok……..”

TO BE CONTINUED……………………

OVER VIEW:

{I don’t even know where to start in this chapter. I figure I better explain the last part of the chapter in case some of you are lost. I want us to get know how Alex became what he is today. We met him in “Jacob Finding His Way” trying to kill Jacob. But we really never knew how he became this way.

Yeah, we know he is part of a gang. Also we know it is part of his family tradition. We also know he really didn’t have any choice in matter. We know all that, but we didn’t know about Alex when he was just a kid. What did he go through as he grew up? There had to be a lot of crap in his life that took him where he was in “Jacob Finding His Way”.

Now we have a glimpse of two days of Alex’s childhood. Two days where he lived at home when his father wasn’t in prison, and his best friend was with him. Two days of teaching from his father. You can never show weakness no matter who it is. If your own blood comes at you, you must kill them. The strong survive, and the weak perish.

In the life that Alex got pushed into there is really only a few ways to become part of a gang. Even if your father runs it, you must go through what everyone else does. Alex’s father decided on the beating, instead of committing a crime or killing someone. I figure that was one good thing Alex’s dad did for him.

Still we only saw two days of Alex’s youth showing how his dad got him ready for the world. Alex’s dad beat him before he could get out of bed in the morning. Then he broke his arm, elbows and fingers because he thought Alex and Carlos were gay. He got that because they were looking in the same mirror at the same time. There is no way Alex could ever let anyone know he is gay. He knew if such a thing gets back to his father, he is dead for sure!

It looks like Jacob appeared and helped Alex. He brought in Dr. Whitmore, in turn, Dr. Whitmore brought in Dr. Mitchell. Isn’t it sad that places like where Alex is at thinks once you are property of the state you don’t deserve what anyone else gets in the free? Yeah they did wrong, but they do deserve proper medical treatment.

Carlos is finally becoming friends with Matt. That is good for Alex. It is also good that Officer Jackson decided to let Carlos stay with Alex. Alex needs a friend like Carlos by his side. You never know what will be thrown at these two.

So much going on right now and still the story is just getting started. New people will pop up. With that come new plots opening in the chapters to come. This story is just getting started. So hold on to your hats everyone, buckle down, and be ready for more turns and twists in this story then a carnival ride.

I do not want to say too much more and spoil the future chapters to come, so I won’t. I warn you though! Do not skip a chapter, or you will be lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}
EDITOR’S CORNER:

Guys, the dream scene at the end was really hard to edit to get the flow right and get Jacob’s points across…and to not screw with HIS style ! WHEW, I’m WHIPPED !

Let us hear your comments, thoughts and remarks about the chapter. We appreciate each and every one of your e-mails.

Jacob has said it all about this chapter. Anything I could add would just be fluff, so I’ll just say:

Until next time !
“Daddy” Rick