Beneath the Mask - 11. Chapter 11

(MATTHEW'S POINT OF VIEW)

The last two weeks have flown by before I knew it and Thanksgiving was just a week away. The last couple weeks have been mixed with studying and then final exams for semester grades. Not much is different in here than in regular schools. We still have to take the same required courses in the same years as if we were in public schools still.

During the week of semester exams I noticed that Alex wasn't stressing as much as he was when he first got here. I don’t know why, and to tell you the truth I don’t want to know the truth because I figure the answer has to involve his other life dealing with the gang. That being the case I steer far away from it as possible.

After being here a year and not getting into any trouble gets you a forty eight hour pass to spend with your family on Thanksgiving. Those of us that will receive the forty eight hour passes already have been notified. This year I actually got a forty eight hour pass.

Once I heard the news I ran to the phones to call my parents. When I told them the good news they were happy about it. And that made me even happier. The funny thing is, after talking about it to them, they told me they were going out of town for Thanksgiving this year. I am welcome to come, but of course, I can’t leave the city limits of El Paso.

So it looks like I'm going to spend another Thanksgiving in this place. The only good thing that comes out of this whole thing is I am able to spend it with Alex. Because this is his first year he is not going to get a pass.

When Friday rolled around I didn't feel like being in the dayroom. So I decided to go back to the room and read a book. I didn't even hear Alex walk in until he was tapping on my arm to get my attention. I looked up to be met with a smiling face and in return his smile actually made me smile and forget why I am feeling like crap right now.

“Hey babe. Why are you hiding in here instead of being out there with us in the dayroom? I was getting very worried about you.”

“Don't worry about me Alex. I know it is easier said than done, but I'm just in a bummer mood right now because my parents are not going to spend Thanksgiving here in El Paso. To top it all off, I got a pass to go home for Thanksgiving this year.”

“That is a bummer babe. I can see why you’re feeling like crap right now. I know how much you want to go home and be out of this place for two days. I certainly would take a pass for one day to be out of this place. Still, I will fill your time, and I promise you, we will have fun……if you get my drift about having fun.”

Alex jumped on my bed and started tickling me. He knows that I am very ticklish, and at the same time he knows what parts of my body make me laugh the most. I keep begging for him to stop tickling me through grasps of breath.

Alex kept tickling me for maybe five or ten minutes before he quit. Once he quit tickling me I jumped up and sat down at the edge of my bed. Alex got up and joined me at the edge of my bed. At first, we didn't say anything at all, and then Alex looked at me and asked me a question I knew was eventually going to come up.

“You know Matt, you know a lot about me from where I'm from, how I lived, and what I plan to do after I get out of here. I don't know anything about you. It seems everything I know about starts the day I got here. So tell me something about your childhood. I don't care what it is, just tell me something.”

I looked at Alex, grabbed his hand and start rubbing his fingers between mine. Just the way he is looking at me right now is making me melt. He is right that he does not know a thing about my past whereas I basically have read the book of Alex.

“Well I guess I’ll tell you about my family. I am the oldest of three. My parents, when they were younger, were really heavy in Woodstock and all that crap. So when I was born it was like a wake-up call for them. It was time to be adults and put away their childish whims and toys.

They never blamed me in my face for their having to grow up when they weren’t ready to be grown up yet. After I was born my mother popped out two more children in a little less than two years. First I got a little sister, and then my little brother was born.

As I grew up, I found out the reason my parents were into the Woodstock thing, was their way of rebelling against my grandparents. Still to this day. I can’t understand why they rebelled against their parents. They had everything any of us would want.

Both sets of my grandparents are well to do. As far as money they are not rich but they can afford the good things in life. When I was born my grandparents showered me with anything I wanted because they give thanks to me for making their kids grow up.

I won’t blame them for being the reason I’m here. I started to rebel after I told my parents that I'm gay. They didn't take it well. At one point when I was telling them, I could see in my father's eyes total anger and disgust. I was afraid either he might beat me up or kick me out of the house or maybe both.

He didn't hit me or kick me out of the house. Instead he and my mom did something worse. Both of my parents acted if I didn't exist anymore. I felt like a leper walking around the house after that night. Even my little brother and sister ignored me.

So instead of dealing with the problem at home I went and created me some new problems. The first couple run-ins with the police my grandparents got me out of trouble with nothing on my record, but by the third screw up my grandparents washed their hands of me just like my parents did.

You might be asking yourself, what I did to get here with a clean record. So let me tell you why I am here before I continue with my story.

A couple friends and I went out joyriding in one of their parents’ cars. I stole several bottles of liquor from my father's liquor cabinet before I met up with my friends at the corner. At that point, they already had the car.

Before we took off we sat in the park drinking the bottles of liquor I just had stolen from my dad. To tell you the truth as I look back on it now I wish one of us would have stopped the rest of us from getting into that car because what happened next turned my world upside down.

We all jumped in the convertible and sped off. Like idiots, we swerved over the residential streets. We were so drunk we didn't realize that we were hitting parked cars on the sides of the road. We were just acting like fools screaming and yelling, throwing the empty liquor bottles at whatever we thought was fun hitting.

At one point, my friend Todd took his eyes off the road and that was it. It happened so fast the next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital. My parents and grandparents visited me only once while I was there.

I was arrested, saw the judge, and sentenced before I even left the hospital. The minute I got well, they brought me here. My parents made sure there was a bed here for me once I got released from the hospital. They didn't even want me in their home anymore.

So this shouldn't surprise me at all that they are going out of town for Thanksgiving. To be completely honest with you I know they're lying to me. They just don’t want me in their house because of fear. They think not only I will show my little brother and sister bad habits but I think they fear I might actually turn them gay.

There it is the long and short of it. My life story, I did not have it as rough as you did. So there is really no reason for me to complain. All in all I had a pretty good childhood and upbringing. I just took advantage of all the things my grandparents did for me.”

Alex just looked at me, not saying a word. I really don't think my story is that much to cry about Alex on the other hand really had a screwed up childhood. If I grew up in that house that he grew up in I might have turned out even worse then he did.

“Matt, what you're parents did was wrong. Don't ever blame yourself for the way they acted when you told them about being gay. At least you have the guts to open up to your parents. I will never have the balls to tell my mother or father about me being gay. Besides the reasons you know, I just can't.”

Alex moved closer to me and wrapped his hands around my shoulders. I have already spilled so many tears over this I didn't think I had any more tears left but I was surprised. I actually started crying the moment Alex wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into his chest, cuddling me. I haven't had anyone show me this kind of emotion and love for a very long time.

(ROBERT’S POINT OF VIEW)

After dinner I went looking for Steve to see if he wants to hang. For two days next week, Steve is going to be gone so I want to take advantage of any time I can steal to be with him. I don't care if it seems childish. I just want to be with Steve.

I actually found Steve alone in his room. This is the last place I actually thought he would be. I was about to give up on finding Steve. I knocked on his door and walked in before Steve could say anything.

The minute I got in the room, I shut the door. Steve just looked up at me with a lost puppy look in his face. I couldn't help but laugh, because I have never seen that look on his face before. Don't get me wrong. He is very cute with that look.

I walked over to his bed and sat down on the floor between his legs. I looked up at him, to see if he is going to say anything. All he did is just stare down at me. So I decided to speak up.

“Hey, what are you doing, just sitting here alone in your room. It seems like everyone right now has the holiday blues. I want to ask you something Steve, but please don't it wrong.”

Steve just kept looking down at me, not saying a word. I really hope I am not making a mistake with what I'm about to ask him. In the last couple weeks we have gotten to know each other really good. So I think I am choosing the right time come up here and asked Steve a question I’ve had on my mind; “I know I have never been with anybody before. My question to you is have you been with anyone. Further then kissing I mean.”

Steve just looked at me like I was out of my mind. I don't think he ever thought I would ask a question like that. Just in the last couple weeks we have gotten know each other and one thing we have stayed away from talking about is our sex lives.

After a thoughtful pause Steve replied; “To tell you the truth Robert, I never thought you would ask me that question however, let me answer you as simply as I can. Yes I have kissed a couple of other guys, but I have never had sex with a guy or girl.”

I looked over at the door and then back to Steve with a big old grin on my face. I turned around where our faces looked at each other directly. Steve just looked at me more than likely wondering what in the world am I going to do.

With both hands I raised and wrapped them around his head, pulling his head to mine. At first, we didn't kiss. We rested our foreheads against one another. Just feeling the heat from his body to my body got me hard!

Placing my fingers underneath Steve's chin I raised his face till our lips touched. As was the case several times before, sparks started flying. It will never get old kissing Steve.

As we kissed, I moved my hand down his chest to his stomach then to his belt and started to fiddle with the belt buckle. Steve is wearing one of those army brass gold buckles. It is making it easy for me to slide the belt through the belt buckle, and then off his waist.

Immediately after I threw the belt on the floor, I undid the button to his jeans. It didn't take long for me to get the flaps separated and my hands into his underwear. Steve is already hard.

I broke the kiss with Steve and immediately started to pull off Steve's pants and underwear. Once I got them to his feet. I realized he still hasn't taken off his tennis shoes so I very quickly undid his laces and pulled off his shoes. Once I got his shoes off. I completely pulled off his jeans and underwear. His cock was standing proud indicating that he desired what was to come as much as me.

I immediately went up to him gave him one fast kiss on the lips. I pulled his T-shirt up and off of him and started kissing his neck and making my way down to his chest. After playing with his nipples, I made my way down to his dick. I know this is going fast but I can’t slow down.

Without thinking twice about it, I took hold of his dick and put in my mouth. I even surprised myself. I was able to put his entire dick in my mouth without choking. Within moments, I got into a rhythm and Steve started moaning.

While I was sucking on his dick Steve interrupted me to remove my shirt and started working on my pants. I got up from my knees to allow Steve to pull my pants and underwear off. Now we were both naked and able to continue without barriers to whatever was to happen.

I went back down on Steve’s cock and got the rhythm going again. Steve’s moans let me know that I was doing it right! My right hand was involved on his cock and my left sought out Steve’s balls to give them tender attention to heighten his pleasure. My hand would occasionally slide back behind his balls to stroke and massage that tender place between ball sack and butthole. Steve spread his legs wide encouraging my actions.

I kept my hand on his cock but pulled my mouth off. I licked down his shaft and then started tongue bathing his balls. His sack was pulled up tight in his hyper aroused state. That made it a challenge to suck each of his balls into my mouth for a tongue massage, but the sack relaxed enough to allow me to get each of his balls in my mouth in turn.

Releasing his balls and sack, I licked his nether region, that sweet, sensitive spot behind his sack. Steve pulled his knees up allowing his feet to be on the bed. He instinctively pushed up with his feet raising his butt off the bed giving me better access to lavish attention on his nether region. I could see his pink rosebud pulsing in pleasure.

Without warning, I picked up Steve's legs and threw them over my shoulder. I separated his butt cheeks and started playing with his hole. Several times I actually spit on my fingers and on his butthole.

All the while, Steve kept moaning as I played with his hole. I moved back up from between his legs and started kissing Steve again. I love the feeling of my dick pressing against his as I moved my tongue around in his mouth. I can actually feel his heartbeat through his dick to mine. It is just an awesome feeling.

“Steve I really, really want to be inside you. I know you have never done this before, but neither have I. I really want to be inside you to bond and feel like we are one.”

Steve opened his eyes and looked at me. He didn't say a word, but I can see it in his eyes that the answer is yes. I whispered once again in his ears that I would be very careful and gentle with him. Asking him at any time he wants me out. Just say the word, and I will pull out.

I kissed down his chest to his stomach, and then to his dick. I spent several minutes pleasuring Steve before I lifted his legs once again over my shoulders. Knowing that we have no lubrication, I tried to moisten his hole as much as I can with my spit. I massaged and probed his hole getting him to relax and the hole to open a bit.

Once I felt comfortable enough that I could not wet his hole anymore I got on my knees. With the pre-cum leaking from my dick I evenly spread it around my dick like lubrication. I pressed the head of my dick to the entrance of his butthole.

Gently and slowly I entered into Steve inch at a time. As I got further and further into Steve he started grasping at the edge of the bed. I looked up to his eyes and I could see he is in pain with the way his eyes are closed and facial expression across his face.

“Do you want me to stop Steve? If I am hurting you I will stop and pull out.”

“No, it hurts, but don't pull out. Just go a little bit slower,” Steve replied with determination in his voice.

With that in mind, I started once again to enter into Steve. This time instead of going inch by inch and not pausing, I went in an inch, stopped, then another inch, stop, and so on. I can see in Steve's face that I am not hurting him as much.

Once I got completely in, I rested and leaned in to kiss Steve. When I felt Steve's hands rubbing my back, I knew he had adjusted to my dick. Without taking my lips off of his. I started to pull out slowly. Just as my cockhead is about to pop out, I slowly went back in pushing as slowly as I could in order not to hurt Steve.

I did this for a few minutes, until I picked up more and more speed. After a couple minutes I got into a rhythm that was not hurting Steve. He and I were like one. I have never felt this way with another person in my life. From kissing to now being inside Steve makes me feel a depth of passion I never knew existed.

Wrapping my arms around Steve's back, I pulled him up off the bed. With help from Steve wrapping his arms around my back, I am able to hold him and walk at the same time. I walked across the room throwing Steve’s back against the wall. Now with the help of the wall Steve let go of me and then he threw his arms above his head.

I don't know what's gotten into me, but at this point I don't care! All I want to do is have the hottest sex with Steve. With Steve's legs wrapped around my waist, his back against the wall and his arms up in the air I am going to town on his ass.

I don't know how it happened, but I know neither of us touched his dick. That wasn't needed evidently because Steve started shooting hot cum all over my chest and face. I opened my eyes and looked down confirming he isn't touching his dick.

As I continued to fuck Steve up the ass, I gathered his cum from my face and put in my mouth. This is the first time I have ever tasted cum in my life. I always thought it would taste gross, but instead it is sweet and salty at the same time. After my first taste, I wanted more. So I scooped up some more of his cum from my chest and put it in my mouth.

By the second time I got the cum from my chest I started to explode up Steve's ass. Somehow with me shooting my hot load inside him, it made Steve shoot again. I never knew a person can cum twice within minutes. I always thought a guy would need to rest for at least an hour, before he is able to cum again.

I gently pulled Steve from the wall into me. We started kissing once again as I walked us back to the bed. Once I reached the bed, I gently laid Steve back to the mattress. As his back hit the mattress, I fell right on top of him, never breaking the kiss.

We kissed for a while before I rolled over to his side. My softening dick slipped out as I rolled over to my back. Steve nor I said a word to each other as we stared up to the ceiling of his room.

Once we settled down, we cleaned each other up with Steve’s towel before dressing again. The whole time while we cleaned each other up, we just smiled at each other. I can’t help the feelings I am feeling right now about Steve. I love him so much no words I can say will do these feelings justice.

(FRANSECA’S POINT OF VIEW)

As I got out of the car, I heard the phone ringing in the house. I ran as fast I could in order to unlock the door, and to answer the phone. I noticed none of the kids are home yet. That gets me worried that they may be getting into trouble.

I know I shouldn't be thinking that way about my other two kids but I can’t let history repeat itself with them. I already have one son locked up, a husband, and most of the males on his side of the family are all locked up.

As I reach the phone, I look at the caller ID to see who is calling. I recognize the area code, but not the number. I know it is from the prison where my husband. I quickly debate with myself whether or not to answer the phone. My curiosity won the debate.

“Hello this is Franseca, how may I help you.”

Since it was not the operator asking me if I would accept the collect call, I knew it wasn’t my husband on other end of the line. I don’t recognize the voice that is speaking on the line. In fact, I have never heard this voice before.

“Mrs. Garcia, this is Warden Jenkins at the prison. As you know from speaking with my staff earlier this month, your husband got placed in lockdown. Again, you know the reasons why.

The reason for my call today is to inform you that your husband got rushed from his cell to the infirmary last night. He was not attacked by another inmate. Instead he was going through the first stages of a heart attack. We tried to stabilize him here at the prison before transporting him to the nearby hospital.

Once we realize we couldn’t stabilize him we immediately rushed him to the nearest hospital. With everything at our disposal we couldn't save your husband. On his way to the hospital, he passed away,” the Warden concluded.

I didn't answer the Warden right away. I am actually in shock with the news he just gave me about my husband. One thing I know about my husband is how healthy he is. There is no way at his age he would have died of a heart attack.

“Sir, with all due respect, I can’t understand how my husband passed away. The system supposed to be able to provide medical treatment whenever needed. In this case you should have immediately rushed him to the hospital.

We are not going to get into this right now. What I need to know is how to claim my husband and get him back here to El Paso for burial. After all that is done we will sit and discuss once how badly your facility dropped the ball in my husband's case.”

The Warden and I sat on the phone for the next twenty or thirty minutes. He explained to me how the body of my husband is going to be sent. The only thing I have to do is arrange for a funeral home to pick up the body, prep it for burial, and any service I want for him so the family can say their final farewells to him.

After I got off the phone with the Warden I went over to closet to get the phone book. I doubt I will find any funeral homes open but I need to get the ball rolling on this as fast as I can. Where the money is going to come from in to bury him, I have no idea. This is the last thing I thought I would be doing today.

The first number I dialed got answered after two rings. The person that answered the phone sounds to me like an older gentleman. I immediately explain to him why I called, and what is going on as far as the body.

At first, the guy on the other line didn't talk about the cost. Not to sound rude or uncaring, that is the main thing I wanted to know. I have a couple thousand dollars in the bank for emergencies, but I know the funeral is going to cost a lot more than a couple thousand.

“Sir, sorry to interrupt you but I need to know one thing up front. How much will this funeral cost me? Don't hold anything back, give it to me straight.”

The funeral director explained the cost from the lowest amount to the highest amount. I can’t even afford the lowest amount. I explained that to the funeral director, and then hung up.

By the time I talked to the fourth funeral home, I was about to give up. The first three were out there in price that no one in my neighborhood could afford them. The fourth funeral home is not only cheaper and will take what I have saved as a down payment and the rest in payments. So, of course, I decided to go with them.

Once I hung up the phone. The only thing I have to worry about is informing family and friends about his death. Since both sides of the family live here in town. It is going to make it a lot easier. The only one I think I am going to have a problem getting the word to is Alex due to where he is at right now.

Just then, our two sons walked in the door. They know something is up by just looking at me. I asked them to come into the living room and sit down. Before I could speak a word they immediately thought something is wrong with Alex. I immediately answered them that there is nothing wrong with Alex.

Once I threw that notion out the door. I quickly went into the reason I called them into the living room. To my surprise, after telling them about their father, they actually didn't cry or even get upset. In fact when they both got up, they both said at the same time;

“As long as our brother is ok, that is all that matters to us.”

They then walked out of the living room mumbling about what is for dinner. I just sat there, dumbfounded by their reaction. Then it made me think why in the world I am caring so much about a man that didn't care about me or his family. The only thing he cared about is himself and that stupid gang he was part of.

I hope that this gives a chance to Alex to get out of that life. I've know he promised me that he will. At the same time I know his father was pressuring him to stay involved in all parts of the daily activities of that gang.

(ALEJANDRO’S POINT OF VIEW)

Matt and I headed to the dayroom after our long chat. I feel closer to Matt now than ever before. I now know, maybe not all of his childhood, but enough to be able to get even closer to what I hope to be a very long relationship with Matt. Who knows what is going to happen after we leave this place in four our five years from now.

One thing is certain to me now is that I am going to make every day count with Matt. It doesn't mean I want to have hot sex every day after lights out. I just want to be with Matt, cuddle with him, do homework with him, or just spend any free time we both have together.

He sat down with the guys from the table to watch TV. I, on the other hand, want to play cards with Carlos and the others at the table. I waited for them to complete the hand they are playing in order to be dealt in.

I don't know if they're letting me win or I just have good luck tonight. To tell you the truth I really don't care what the reason is. I will take them for their commissary any day of the week. That means it is less of my own I have to spend when I order commissary.

Just as I was getting into the game I felt someone tapping me on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a guard walking over. I folded the hand I was playing and got up to see what the guard needed. I don't recognize the guard. That means he must be new. They normally start the new guards on the graveyard shift.

“Alejandro Hernandez you have several visitors. Please follow me to the attorney room.”

I looked at the guard not understanding why my visitation is going to happen in the attorney room. As far as I know all my court dates are done. There should be no reason that I meeting with my attorney at this time. It might be because of the work I have been doing with Mr. Henderson. I might be getting out early. I know that is wishful thinking. There is no way I'm going to get out of this place one day earlier than my twenty-first birthday.

The guard escorted me over to the attorney visitation room. He opened the door and closed it behind me. Once I entered the room I looked at the two guys sitting at the table. I don't even know who they are. I don't recognize them. One thing is for sure they are not attorneys from the law firm that represents me.

“Alejandro Junior my name is Mr. Palmer, attorney-at-law, and this gentleman is Dwight Flores. You may be asking yourself who we are so please let me explain. Mr. Flores here is my client, or should I say one of my clients. I represent many that are involved in the gang that is locked up.

In order for him to talk to you, I need to be present. In order for his conversations not to be recorded that is. Now that you know who I am, you probably want to know why he wants to talk with you and we are here. It is very simple, and I will just turn over this part of the conversation to Mr. Flores.”

I just looked at those two guys confused, very confused as to why they're here. I have my own attorney. I have no need for an attorney that represents this gang. Plus, what is a story about Mr. Flores? Is he some kind of hotshot in the gang that my father has not yet informed me about? Whoever he is, I wish he would just come out and say what he wants to say and then get out of here.

“Alejandro I know without a doubt you are the oldest son of Alejandro Hernandez the third. You look exactly like your father, just a hell of lot younger than he is! Amazing how much you look exactly like your father.

Let me begin by telling you, we all loved your father. He is going to be greatly missed and hard to replace. I know it will take me time to catch up to being even half of the leader he was.”

I was totally confused so I interrupted; “Excuse me I have no idea what you guys are talking about. You're talking as if my father is no longer among the living. He is just in lockdown, but as far as I know he is still running things from lockdown.”

“Excuse me Alejandro. You are telling me, no one has yet told you that your father passed away?”

“No! Are you sure you got your facts straight? I know I haven't spoken with my father since the uprising, but I know he's still alive. I received a letter for requests of merchandise. In fact the letter was confusing because of what he was asking to be sent.”

“Alejandro, I would've thought by now someone would have notified you about your father's death. He didn't get killed. He had a heart attack. I am sorry to be the one to be delivering this kind of news to you.

I know you must be feeling like crap right now, but I need you to stay with me. I have several things to go over with you and it needs to be done now. Just give me ten maybe fifteen minutes and I will let you go,” Flores said.

I can’t believe my father passed away! I am honestly not hurting one bit about the news I just heard. In fact, I feel a little relieved that he is gone. I might actually be able to get out of here alive.

“Look, Mr. Flores if you know my father you would know this much. Our family isn't close at all. As far as the bad news is concerned is really not affecting me. Not to sound rude, please just say what you come down here to say.

If you are going to remove me as the leader here, just do it. If you're going to put a green light on me, again just do it. I rather know what your intentions are rather than me having to be looking over my shoulder every minute, of every day, while I am doing my time here.”

“Alex. I have no plans to replace you. In fact, I want to make sure there is not going to be any internal war for leadership. I'm the next one in line, but I am not in your family. The leadership of this gang has been passed from your great-grandfather to your grandfather, then to your father, and one day it would have been yours. Now, the leadership passes to the next one in command, not the son of the one that was in command.”

“Mr. Flores you have nothing to worry about from me. The only thing I want right now is to do my time in here and then get out. If you want the reigns of this gang, you won’t get a fight for me. All I ask is that you continue to let me run things in here the way I want.”

“I have no problem on the way you are running things in here Alex. In fact before meeting with you, I met with Ashton. He told me what you have planned and wants to do as far as running things in here. To tell you the truth I am very interested in on your proposal of running things like a business.

Ashton told us pretty much everything you guys discussed in the last meeting. In fact, I want to adopt this method across the board. The violence, the murders, the intimidation is a thing of the past and simply isn't working anymore.

We have lost so much ground, respect, and placement inside the prison system. If we adapt to your way of thinking, we will survive. In fact, if we adopt your methods and it works, we will be more than likely be the last gang standing.

So what do you say that we worked together and pull this gang into the twenty first century? Write out a business plan as soon as you can, and let's say we meet again in two weeks. I hope that will give you enough time to write everything out. Thanksgiving is just next week, and you will be dealing with your father’s passing” Flores concluded leaving the floor for my reaction.

“Mr. Flores you have yourself a deal. I will have it all written out and ready for delivery in two weeks. I promise, if we adapt to the business style of running things we will succeed in areas we never have before.”

Mr. Flores and his attorney shook my hand as they left. I went to knock on the door to try to get the guards attention. But it seems he's nowhere to be found. So I sat back down looking at these four white walls. Right there it hit me.

I didn't start crying about the loss of my father. Just memories started floating back up. I know this is no surprise to anyone that the memories are all bad. What kind of legacy is my father, leaving behind? I certainly don't want this kind of legacy left when I leave this world; a legacy of hate, bloodshed, and corpses to be remembered by. Because that is what his life was made up of. As far as his family is concerned, we all despise him. Whenever his name was mentioned in the house we all cringed at the sound of it. That's a legacy no one should want to leave behind.

Just then the door opened for me to leave. I got up and walked back to the dayroom to find Carlos. I need to deliver the news about my father's passing and the new leader of our gang.

As I walked into the dayroom I found Carlos exactly where I left him. I walked over and patted him on the shoulder and then walked way. Carlos looked up at me, said something to the guys then threw his cards on the table and walked over to me. We didn't say a word to each other until we were in my room.

Carlos sat down on my bed and as I sat on Matt's bed across from him. Without skipping a beat I informed Carlos about everything from the passing of my father to the passing of the torch of leadership! The whole time I spoke to Carlos, he didn't say a word. He just looked up with a concerned look in his face.

After I finished, Carlos just sat there. I know he isn't feeling bad about my father's passing. I think his concern is whether or not the leadership in here is going to change. At least if I was in his shoes I would be thinking that.

“Alex I know you have no love for your father. But if you need anything, I mean anything, I'm just next door. You don’t need to go through this alone. I really hope that Mr. Henderson let you go to your father's funeral, even if there is a guard with you the entire time.”

“I hope Mr. Henderson let's me go too not to just pay my respects to my father, but to make sure my mother and brothers are okay with this. I know they are not hurting at all. It's just a financial worry I have for them. My mother works two, at times three jobs at the same time!

Other than that do you understand nothing is going to change? In fact, I believe things are going to get better with my father a longer in charge. Now with the leader outside of the prison system, we don’t have to send things over to them. That would normally add time to our sentences. There is a silver lining to this whole thing.”

Carlos just shook his head a got up and left. Instead of going back to the dayroom, I decided to shower and get ready for bed. It is about an hour before lights out. I don't want to be in the shower when it's jam packed with the last minute guys trying to get a shower before lights out. Too many butts rubbing against each other! The only butt that I want my butt to rub against is Matt's!

After I finished taking a shower, I dried off and headed back to the room. When I walked in, I found Matt already in bed. He has a smile a mile long, across his face. I know what that smile is all about; sex, baby.

I walked over and sat next him. I grabbed hold of his hand and spilled the beans about news I got delivered earlier. At one point, as I talked to Matt, he leaned in to hug me. We hugged only briefly because it is almost time for the guards to do head count.

The next day during breakfast I was pulled out by Officer Jackson and I know the reason why. As I made my way to Mr. Henderson's office I decided to act as if I haven't heard the news yet.

As I walked into the office, I found Mr. Henderson behind his desk, my mother sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk, and directly behind her are my two younger brothers. I walked in to take a seat next to my mother as Officer Jackson closed the door.

Mr. Henderson didn't say a word. He let my mom run the show. Basically she repeated everything that I heard last night. Almost word by word, and that almost made me laugh. No disrespect to my mom. It just looked like she and Mr. Flores got together to come up with what to say.

After my mom finished talking, she leaned in to hug me. Once again I didn't show any emotion because I have no emotion show. I was never close to my father and simply I don’t care to continue to repeat what I have already said about my father.

I got up walked around the chair to my little brothers. I knelt down to find out if they are okay with the news of the passing of our father. Just like me they have no emotions or issues that father is gone. I got up rubbing their head, and then walked back to my chair.

“Well Alex, I am sorry for your loss, truly I am. It is up to me to decide whether or not let you go to your father's funeral. Normally I would not even give it a thought for someone like you being here in such a short period of time. The reason I said that is normally benefits like that are given to those who have shown us they can be trusted to not run.

You however, are an exception to the rule. Without going into detail in front of your family, I am going to go ahead and let you go to your father's funeral. There are certain guidelines though. I insist that these guidelines are followed to the letter.”

Mr. Henderson went into detail on what the guidelines are. Basically I'm only allowed to go out the day of the funeral. When I leave the facility, Officer Jackson is going to be my chaperone for the entire day. That way, Mr. Henderson can be comfortable enough to know I won’t be getting into any trouble.

So the funeral is going to be on Monday. That means after breakfast Officer Jackson will pick me up and take me to my mother's house in his private vehicle. He is going to stay the corner somewhere, but has to be in an area of the house in order to keep an eye on me at all times. Neither I nor my mother objected to that.

The final the most important rule Mr. Henderson put down. Is that I am not allowed to talk to any of the members of the gang or their family. At the same time, if any errands need to be ran. I am not allowed to go with the person or do the errands myself. Basically I can only be with my family and friends not affiliated with the gang and I am only allowed the go to places dealing with the funeral.

After my mother and I both agreed to all of the rules Mr. Henderson put out there he agreed to let me go to my father's funeral. I said my goodbyes to my family as another guard walked in to escort my family out of the building safely. Even if I could walk them to the front door, I need to stay back to talk to Mr. Henderson.

As the door shut to Mr. Henderson's office the only ones in the office are me, Mr. Henderson, and Officer Jackson. I sat back down in the same chair I sat in when my mother spoke with me about my father

I explained to Mr. Henderson about the meeting that took place last night with the new gang leader and his attorney. To my surprise Mr. Henderson had no idea this meeting took place. He even asked me, which guard escorted me to the room.

I explained to him I did not give his name because he did not have a name tag. In fact I believe this guard is new because I have never seen him before. Mr. Henderson looked up to Officer Jackson, and then back to me.

“Alex, do you think things are going to work out with the new leader of your gang? It would be excellent if you could move this gang fully away from violence. It would be excellent not only for you, the members of this gang and my guards and staff too. You know we are out numbered to almost ten to one.”

“I really do believe we have a better chance of it working underneath Mr. Flores than we ever had under my father. Mr. Flores strikes me as a businessman whereas my father grew up in violence and only understood violence. No matter how much proof I showed my father that this process works, he continued running the gang with violence and intimidation.”

Mr. Henderson and Officer Jackson agreed to carefully watch where this goes. One thing we all want in this office right now is to move away from the violence. For them, it will work so they will be able to go home every night. For me, it ensures that I can get out of here on my twenty-first birthday.

Officer Jackson escorted me back to my building. Once I got back I headed over to the dayroom. Matt, as usual, is sitting in front of the TV and Carlos is with his group of friends playing cards. I would normally go and sit with Matt in front of the TV to be able to cuddle with him but because we are in here, we have to keep our distance. We have to be sure that no one will ever find out about Matt and me being lovers.

So I decided to join Carlos and play cards. I looked over to Matt, waved him over to join us, but he shook his head no. After playing cards for a couple of hours, I decided to call it quits. I got up and joined Matt in front of the TV.

The problem about the TV in here is that we have no movie channels. We have basic cable but on Saturday the channels suck. We end up watching stuff we normally would never watch if we were in the free. To prove my point, right now, everyone settled on watching “Star Trek, The Next Generation”!

I've never liked or will ever like sci-fi movies or television series. We might one day travel the stars and a big old ship, but I prefer to live in the present. Since I have no choice but to watch this show, I sat down and kept my mouth shut.

The day flew by quick before I knew it, Matt and I are in bed together cuddling. We have gotten the guards’ routine at night down to the very minute that they do their headcounts. We can cuddle, kiss, or just play with each other for a couple of hours until the next head count.

All day Sunday we watched nothing but football on television. The only thing that pulled us away from the games was eating. It looks like this year the Cowboys will get to the Super Bowl and more than likely win it. I just hope Jerry Jones is smart enough to stay in his office and not throw his weight around trying to manage the team.

Jerry Jones needs to thank his head coach Jimmy Johnson. This guy has taken this team and built it up from nothing. The reason for his success, I think, he keeps Jerry Jones out of the every day running of the team. I agree with that because Jerry Jones doesn't know how to coach and that is why he hires a coach. I just wonder if he will ever “get it” that his team will do better when he’s not got his fingers in the pie.

During breakfast, everyone at the table told me how sorry they are about the news of the passing of my father. Not to disrespect them I sat and listened to them. There is no need to air our family dirty laundry in public.

As agreed, Officer Jackson got me the minute breakfast was over. This is the first time that I have ever seen Officer Jackson out of uniform. He is in a black suit I figure out of respect going to a funeral.

I got into Officer Jackson's car and headed over to my house. To my surprise, at no time did Officer Jackson handcuff me. As we walked out of the facility to his car, he told me that he trusts me not to run. At that moment, I gained more respect for him because he is giving me respect. I know he doesn't have to give me this kind of respect.

As we turn the corner to my house. The street is already filled with cars, leaving us no other choice but to park several blocks away. We got out of the car and made our way to the house. This is the first time I have been to my house in all most a year. Nothing has changed since last time I was here.

Officer Jackson followed me through the crowd of people that I didn't even recognize. I don't know them and they don't know me. I walked through the door and immediately was greeted by my mother. We hugged and then my brothers ran up to me to hug me.

My mom told me to go to my room to put on the suit she laid out for me on the bed. Officer Jackson followed me to my room, but he went in first to make sure there was no one in there. I even asked Officer Jackson stay in the room as I changed in order to keep his mind at ease.

I have gotten so used to showering, dressing, or doing my personal business or the toilet in front of other guys that having Officer Jackson be the same room as I change isn't going to make me uncomfortable.

As soon as it changed we went back out to the living room and I sat down by my mom. I leaned in to ask for who all these people are and she simply said she has no idea. So we sat there on the couch being greeted from people we don't even know. To tell you the truth I believe these guys didn't even know my father either. They're just here paying respect to a leader they have never met.

After an hour or so of people paying their respects at the house, we made our way to the church. As I walked in the church was almost packed. Since I am the oldest son, I escorted my mom up to my father's coffin to pay our last respects. It is the open coffin and this will be the last time any of us will see father.

As I look at my father lying there, I can't believe Mr. Flores is right about me looking like my father, but the younger version. I really hope I don't turn out like my father. I want my life to be a lot better than he had. You can see in his face that life wasn't kind to him at all. He had kids at such a young age and then living the life he chose racked up the mileage fast. No wonder he is gone at the age of thirty-four.

The ceremony was pretty nice considering my father was not a religious man. Neither am I, as a matter of fact.

Right after the ceremony in the church, we went right to the cemetery. The chairs I filled immediately, once we got there. Officer Jackson stood to the left of the banks of the chairs. The only reason I want to know where he is because I spotted Mr. Flores. I want to point him out to Officer Jackson.

After the priest, said his words, and we prayed my mother, brothers, and I got up. Each of us took the shovel throwing dirt on my father's coffin as he got lowered down into the ground. Now, the only thing remaining of my father is this grave and eventually a tombstone with his name with a few kind words on it.

We headed back to my house. This time as we entered the house, it is filled with the smell of food. While we were gone at my father's funeral several ladies set up tables in the back yard with food.

I took this opportunity while the house was been bombarded with crowds of people to speak with Officer Jackson. I pointed Mr. Flores to him without anyone seeing me doing so. Again, I need to remember that I'm not the one that got buried today. If anyone catches me pointing out our new leader, I will be joining my father very quickly.

Officer Jackson came up to me around five thirty let me know it's time to go. By then most of the people had left and the few that are still here, are immediate family on my mother’s side. I feel good that my family is safe.

I went over and said goodbye to my little brothers, promising them, I will be back very soon. I made them promise me to stay in school and not to repeat what I did or become like our father. They gave me their promise to stay out of trouble and take care of mom.

After saying goodbye to my brothers, I headed over to my mom. When she got up to say goodbye to me, she started crying. Through her sobs, she begged me to stay out of trouble and return to her as soon as possible. I tried my best to hold it in, but I started crying as well.

As we broke our hug I promised her to come home as soon as possible. As well, I told her I will stay out of trouble. Those days are behind me. I confirmed to her I don’t want to end up like my father; dead at the age of thirty-four, with only gang members at my funeral!

On the way back to the facility, Officer Jackson and I spoke in great detail about how I plan to run the gang from now on. After explaining everything to Officer Jackson, he seemed pretty surprised with what I have planned. Sometimes I even surprise myself. I could have such a different life had I made different choices as I grew up.

(ASHTON'S POINT OF VIEW)

After my meeting with Mr. Flores I headed back to my dorm. Immediately I pulled in all my lieutenants to explain what is going on. As far as we are concerned, the leadership structure is still the same. Alex runs this facility no questions asked.

As far as those in lockdown or in the infirmary, they will be returning as soon as Alex can get it done. Even though the leaders in lock down have rank on me, I will stay in charge of this dorm. That is a request from Alex and agreed to by Mr. Flores.

And anyone that has a green light on them is to being accepted back as one of our own. There is to be no retaliation to any of those returning to our dorm. The days of violence, killings, or beatings of any kind are over! Mr. Flores plans to adopt Alex’s way of running things from here on out.

As I explained the new procedures, everyone seemed confused. I figure we have had so many years of things running the old way it is going to take a lot of time and effort to get everyone used to the new way.

Several my lieutenants raised a point that this might make us look weaker than what we are. I simply answered my lieutenants with one pointed statement; “When the other gangs are in lockdown, dismantled, or can’t run their gang without the guards knowing what they're doing, they will see diplomacy is not weak, but the only way we are going to be able to survive.”

I asked my lieutenants to gather their subordinates and let them know the changes. If they can’t live under the new procedures and guidelines, they can get out. I don’t want to have a meeting with Alex trying to explain why our subordinates are still following the old ways. Although I won’t be beaten up or killed, I could still be removed from my position.

After excusing my lieutenants, I kept my second in command back. We sat on my bunk not saying a word until we saw all of our lieutenants talking to their subordinates. That is when I finally started talking my second in command.

“Look, we need to make this work or were gone. I don’t mean being killed or beaten up, but we will be removed from our positions if we aren’t successful. Alex went to bat for me to stay in command in this dorm. He believes I am the right person to get it done in here.

Mr. Flores warned me if I don’t follow what Alex orders, I am gone. I think that is why Mr. Flores asked Alex to get the leadership in lockdown released back to the dorm. That way, there are several former leaders ready to fill my slot if I am removed.”

“Ashton I have your back no questions asked. Just say the word, and it will get done. Where do you want me to start?”

I asked my second command to speak with those in the infirmary about the changes. He is the only one in this dorm that works in the infirmary. Although he is watched like a hawk while he is in there, we still have him in there.

After the talk, I felt pretty good with the result. Not only are my lieutenants falling right into place it looks like all the subordinates are as well. By the time dinner arrived, not one of our subordinates requested to leave the gang.

The more and more I think about the new procedures, the more and more I like it. Just like Alex explained to me before, we must learn from the past mistakes and move forward not committing the same mistakes or we won’t survive another year in this facility or any facility in the state of Texas.

(FRANSECA’S POINT OF VIEW)

Finally, at about nine o'clock, the last person left the house. I didn't even bother to start straightening up the mess. I am so tired right now all I want to do is put my feet up on the coffee table and relax. But, just my luck, the minute I put my feet up. There is a knock on the door.

Slowly I got back up on my feet and made my way to the front door not really wanting to answer it, but knowing I should. When I opened the door, I am surprised on who is standing on my front porch.

“Jacob, please come on in and take a seat. Don't pay any mind to the mess, please. Just a few moments ago, the last of the guests left.”

“Don't worry. I know what kind of day you must had. I don't want to take much of your time up. Knowing you have to be tired after everything you've been through in the last several days.

Let me get down to the reason I'm here. The funeral owner or director called the house, wanting to confirm your employment with us. Once we confirmed your employment he asked if you would pay any debt that you get into.

At that point, I asked the reason why he is calling and he told me why. I confirmed to him, you will pay any debt that is owed to anyone. He seems satisfied with that and hung up.

After hanging up with him, my grandfather and I got to talking. Any debt, a person signs onto with a company no matter if it's a funeral home or what, the interest alone on a debt will eat you alive. A small company like that funeral home has an even higher interest rate than a bank does because it's in house financing.

So to make a long story short, I went down to the funeral home and paid off the remaining amount of the funeral. Now that debt is mine to collect. I have no plans to collect that debt from you. We will call it an advance of your bonus for the year. The only thing I ask is that you at least stick it out to the end of the year.”

I just sat there as Jacob spoke, stunned by what he had to say. This guy being almost killed by my son, is doing everything he can to help me and my family. I have never had any one in my life like Jacob. In fact, I don't know anyone that has had anyone like Jacob in their life.

“I don’t know what to say Jacob except thank you for everything you have done for me and my family. I will never quit working for you as long as you would have me working for you. There are only two ways that I will leave your employment; one if you fire me or second should I retire or die. I guess that is three ways I would leave your employment.”

Jacob started laughing as he got up from the chair and hugged me. “You and your family are now part of our extended family. There is nothing my grandfather or wouldn’t do for you or your family. Just ask and if we can do it, we will.”

I kept thanking Jacob, as I walked him back to the front door. As I kissed Jacob on his cheek and said goodbye, I couldn't help but think how lucky we are to have him in our family. I know for a fact he is looking over Alex as he is locked up in the detention facility.

I wipe the tears from my face as I walked back to the couch. I can’t help but think that the worst of my life is behind me now with the passing of my husband. The ugliness that filled this house is now being replaced with hope of a brighter and better future.

TO BE CONTINUED………………….

OVER VIEW:

{As we sit here and look at all the ways Alex's life is changing. He is dealing with his feelings he has for same-sex. For years, he has hidden from the world and even himself. His true love interest he has is for a guy who loves him as well.

I wonder will the death of his father will finally set him free. It seems his worst enemy was his father. Not only did his father demand a lot from Alex, he requested a lot more from Alex, than the rest of the gang leaders. I really hope that Alex doesn’t screw up and gets out of there on his twenty-first birthday.

Steve and Robert finally got together and it was WILD sex! These two have hit it off since they got together. I hope that Steve pulls Robert out of his shell. Remember when Robert first arrived? He peed himself and curled up in a ball out of fear of Alex and Carlos. Now that he has had a chance to get to know them, he might think differently of them.

Do you think that guard that took Alex to the visitation room is on the take? It seems that Mr. Henderson has no idea who Alex is talking about. I would be worried if I was Mr. Henderson simply because there might be a new guard that might be on the take.

What do we all think about Mr. Flores? A different kind of leader than Alex's dad was for sure. He sees the benefits out of running the gang like a business. Just like my editor said in the last chapter, these guys need to learn this well and quickly or they will self-destruct under the old ways of running the gang.

I thought once Alex's dad died, no matter how he died that Alex would be out either by demotion or killed. Instead, Mr. Flores made it very clear to Ashton that Alex is the man in charge, and Ashton is in charge of the dorm. There will be no more attempts to take control of the gang by force, violence, intimidation or alliance with each other. The leaders in this facility are Alex in command and Ashton pretty much in second command.

It seems whenever somebody close to Jacob is hurting, he knows. Alex's mom didn’t have the money to pay for the funeral, and instead financed it. Jacob is right on what he said to Alex's mom. Whenever a company in-house finances you, the interest rate is outrageous. I have been there, done that, and will never recommend it to anyone else.

We got to know Matt a little more in this chapter. I often wondered what he did in to get locked up on the first offense. We come to find out it is actually Matt's third offense, but due to the power of his grandparents and their money he got off on the first two. I don't believe any parent should give up on their children. I am not a parent, but kids are going to rebel, and when they do, you have to stand behind them.

Although Matt doesn't have a bad story like Alex, he still has one. This stay in the detention facility is a wake-up call for him. There is no doubt that Matt will correct his ways and come out a lot better person.

I touched on a few of the plots, but so many are open. It's going to get interesting in the chapters to come. We still I have the developing relationship between Matt and Alex. You’ve got to wonder how long they can keep this a secret from everyone else. Whenever you're in a lockdown facility, secrets are always revealed. Then we’ve got the gang, Steve and Robert, Francisca, the lieutenants in lockdown, and Bobby in the infirmary still out there, all with stories to tell.

So much going on right now and some much to come! As I did with “Shadow Of My Father” the cliff hangers are gone. I will do the same with “Jacob Finding His Way” as well. I believe I have three pretty well developed stories and I don’t need the cliff hangers to bring you guys back the next week. I really hope I am right!

I don’t want to say too much more and spoil the future chapters to come, so I won’t. I warn you though! Don’t skip a chapter, or you will be lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}
EDITOR’S CORNER:

Yes, Alex’s life is on a changing course, for the better, I hope. Matt is a good influence on him the love aspect notwithstanding. With the love relationship that is building, Matt’s influence will only become more profound.
Alex’s father passing is a real gift to Alex; one I hope that he has the stamina to make the most of. Mr. Flores seems to be solidly on Alex’s team, so perhaps Alex’s time can be served in relative peace. Alex will still have to manage the gang, but without all the dangers of the old ways. Let’s hope that all the members subscribe to the changes, but I think there will be a few that will resist.

Steve and Robert; well I hope that their relationship is based on more than hot, rough sex! I hope that the good things that come from a loving relationship are given a chance to take hold and grow.

OK, just who was the guard that escorted Alex to the meeting in the attorney’s room? Yes, Mr. Henderson needs to get to the bottom of this curious situation. Jacob says a “guard on the take”. I say that security was somehow compromised and the guard was actually one of Flores’ underlings. What’s your thoughts?

In-house financing….a total scam and it takes advantage of those with the least resources. One of the big ones is the “rent-to-own” furniture, appliances and electronics stores. Just get their “low monthly payment” number and multiply it out by the number of months needed to own whatever you are getting. You will find that you pay somewhere around three to four times the real retail value. OUCH!

Jacob is right about secrets in a lockdown facility…they don’t exist for long. Carlos already found out and he’s not going to be the only one in the long haul, I’m sure. Let’s just hope that the next ones that do find out don’t try and use it to Alex and Matt’s detriment.

Jacob and I truly appreciate each and every e-mail from you. Let us know what you think about the story and any thoughts you might have on what should happen. You never know; your idea just might be used in the story, It’s happened before, more than once!

Until next time,

“Daddy” Rick