Tales That Toby Tell - 3. Something New

Waking up was awkward! Connor was latched on to me. I didn't know how to get out of his grip. I know he was asleep and didn't know what he was doing but I must admit it felt good.Connor and I hugged each other but we have never done this. His body against my own felt wrong and so right. Wrong because I should not be thinking of my friend this way and right because God damn it felt so good.

I turned my head to my digital burger clock, 8:56 pm it read.We'd been asleep for about five hours or so.My thoughts were interrupted when Connor started to stir.He opened his eyes and he said in the cutest sleepy voice "I heard you thinking" he chuckled but his eyes went wide and his cheeks blushed soon after. I guess he realised he was topless and holding me in bed.He jumped up "I'm sorry mate! I was sleeping so good and I..." I had to take him out of his misery. "Dude ! Geeeeez ...calm down I know you weren't conscious so don't start freaking out "I said.

Connor then positioned himself to stand straight and firm.I threw him his T-shirt and he got dressed. As he was sitting down on my bed to put on his sneakers with his back to my face he spoke."Thanks buddy you've been great harboring me here...got to go" He was trying to escape again.He still hasn't told me why his been acting so weird. "No no no dude you have some explaining to do "I said. He turned to me fiercely. I continued "This entire weekend you've been acting weird. We hardly talked, gosh we didn't even beat up the console. What's wrong Connor? Tell me please. Let me help you" I offered in the most calming voice I could conjure. Connor looked me in the eyes and spoke softly "I'm having problems at home...my parents, they are always arguing. Please don't expect me to go into details but know that all their fighting is just upsetting.I know I walk around like some tough guy but things like that upsets...depresses me ..."

I think I heard a sob from him before he got up, winked me goodnight and left my room. I heard the door close and I ran to my window. I saw him skating down the street.About ten minutes after that he texted me that he got home safely.

I decided to lock up for the night, got something to eat and went upstairs.It was just before 10 when I switched on my laptop and after looking at ***some pictures ** I came across a peculiar website. It is called CyberCloset and on its website it read: A place for geeks and freaks and guys who happened to be gay. Now I didn't consider myself a geek nor a freak but it looked interesting so I joined anyway. I thought of a screen name for a few minutes then I decided to name myself DarkSpider.You see Toby Maguire played spiderman and my name is Toby...he is super cute and...you get my drift?

The website had various rooms for certain people."Gamers" "Drags" even "Romance". At this point I was tempted.Before I could enter though I heard a "ploop" sound and I got a personal message. I entered and I was stunned at how quick these guys are.I decided to start chat with him.

BarriCadeBoy: You are new here.

DarkSpider: Yes I am.

BarriCadeBoy: What brings you to this dying website?

DarkSpider: an endless search for porn

BarriCadeBoy: LOL I like you

DarkSpider: isn't that to soon to determine?

BarriCadeBoy: Probably. So who are you?are you gay? how old are you?

DarkSpider: I'm not telling you that. Yes I'm gay and 17.

BarriCadeBoy: Cool. Me too. Are you from America?

DarkSpider: I think so. Lol yes I am

BarriCadeBoy: Haha...I'm from Cali.

BarriCadeBoy: Are you still there spidey?

DarkSpider: Yeah. Where in Cali you from?

BarriCadeBoy: Hmmm I'm not sure I should tell you that. For all I know you could be some old guy obsessed with teen gays and spiderman.

DarkSpider: That's a joke right?

BarriCadeBoy: Can I trust you?

DarkSpider: You can but I am not going to try and convince you

BarriCadeBoy: I trust you then. Its scary knowing you are from Cali too...

DarkSpider: I didnt say I'm from Cali!

BarriCadeBoy: You are spider.That's why you paused after I said I'm from Cali. I'm not stupid. But I gtg chat again...sleep well spidey.

DarkSpider: you too bye.

And that was the end of that. I had met another gay teen from Cali on my first try. Who could have thought? I fell asleep with images of Josh and thoughts about what BarriCadeBoy would be like in person.

Sunday morning I woke up and I got dressed early to leave for church all alone. I considered taking our family car but decided to walk. Church was wonderfully inspiring as always. I love when we sing it's so magnificent. When it was over I greeted some people and explained why my parents weren't with me. As I stepped out I noticed him. Standing by his car in the parking lot reserved for the church. It was Josh. Is he waiting for me?

Before I could answer my own question Josh looked up and beckoned at me. I walked over to him feeling silly in my black suit. "Looking Snazzy Smythe!" he said. OH-MY-GOD he knows my surname name! At this point I felt the butterflies flapping around in my tummy. All I could do was give a nervous smile. "Uh you forgot these in my car yesterday" he was dangling something in the air but I couldn't see. My eyes were fixed on his hair... slowly looking down his white shirt that had some of it's top buttons undone. I could see traces of chest hair that looked so enticing. He wore jeans and a pair of neat shoes. "Hello Toby? earth to Toby?" he said. I gave myself a mental slap and answered him."Yeah yeah hey thanks"

I grabbed my skull marked headphones from him and I asked "How'd you know I was here? He smiled and replied "Well I took those to your house but you weren't there. Your friend Connor was there though sitting in the driveway. He said you were here so..." I stopped him and thanked him anyway. I turned and walked away when he grabbed my arm and I turned facing him. He looked like he wanted to kiss me or that's what I wanted to see."I'm already here so I'll take you home " I nodded like a hippie and got in. He drove off.

As we drove down my street I saw Connor still sitting on the pavement infront of my house."Whatsup with this guy?" Josh asks as we pull up. I didn't answer I just thanked him and got out. I ran around to Connor."Looking Dapper Smythe!" Connor joked. I didn't hear Josh driving away. Why isn't he leaving? I asked myself."Whatsup with this guy? is he like bothering you? why are you hanging out with a gay guy Toby?" he asked rather calmly.

"I'm not hanging with him and I didn't know he was gay. He just keeps popping up." I said a bit loud and lying to my friend, I knew very well Josh was gay. Connor raised a brow and I turned around. Josh was now standing a few steps from us. I think he had a tear In his eye."Well Toby I am gay and I thought you wanted to be friends.Clearly you can't see passed the gay thing. I was wrong about you.Oh and don't worry I won't be popping up anymore. Happy?" Josh's voice was cold and sad. It was weird hearing his manly voice sound so weak. He jetted towards his car and left.

Connor looked at me. What he did next surprised me. He burst out laughing he literary fell on the ground.His face was red. He was doing that Oh my G--Oh my G--Oh my God! laugh. I didnt find it funny i just walked passed him. He immediatly stoped laughing when i got inside i locked him out. He was banging on the door "Hey! hey open up Toby!" he was screaming."I have to pee!" he was still laughing. I was on the other side of the door. His banging stopped but he still yeld jokingly."Hey Tobe whatsup? why you acting like an ass? That guy was pretty hysteric it was sort of funny dont you think? He is all in love with you" he giggled and I felt anger rise up my throat. "Well maybe I don't mind! Maybe I want him to be! You idiot!" I screamed.

Silence is all I remember.I couldn't believe that I had said that to Connor.WAIT is that how I really feel? Did I really just out myself to my best friend?

After that I didn't hear Connor. I took a few steps back still facing the door and I felt tingles all through my body. My legs turned weak and my vision became blurry. My throat turned dry. That's all I remember before I collapsed. Right there a few steps away from the front door. I guess everything at that moment was just too much.